Place to Be Chapter 32

Sure. This was what he had come here for in the first place. He couldn’t tell if the man in front of him had a disease or some strange kink, but he wasn’t repulsive to look at. For a brief moment of pleasure, he was neither too much nor too little. But.

“No… I…”

Seo Chiyoung stood up hesitantly. He didn’t feel like it right now. Self-loathing and endless discouragement were weighing down his chest. However, the man seemed to take Seo Chiyoung’s ambiguous words differently. He tilted his head, raising an eyebrow as if puzzled, then soon smirked as if he understood. The gaze scanning Seo Chiyoung up and down became a bit narrower.

“Ah, so that’s it. Hmm… well, that’s fine. How much? Do I give it to you in advance?”

The man pulled a wallet out of his inner pocket. In that instant, Seo Chiyoung’s face stiffened. He really hadn’t come here for this.

“No, I’m not one of those. I don’t do that.”

“I don’t do that,” indeed. Seo Chiyoung self-deprecatingly mocked the words he had blurted out and pushed past the man as if escaping, moving at a pace that was almost a run. He heard the man shouting something from behind, but he didn’t look back.

In a mood closer to misery than embarrassment, Seo Chiyoung retraced the exact path he had taken to get here. He descended the long staircase leading to the bus stop in front of the sparsely populated mall, moving with such momentum that he seemed likely to fall, almost running.

He shouldn’t have come. Truly.

Seo Chiyoung gritted his teeth. Just then, not knowing which foot was first, his charging feet missed a step. He lurched and almost fell, but he grabbed the railing and narrowly avoided tumbling down the stairs.

“Ugh…”

It felt like he had slightly sprained his ankle. It wasn’t severe and would likely heal quickly, but Seo Chiyoung, who had stopped in his tracks at that moment, stayed bent over with his hands on his knees for a while before slowly lifting his feet. He limped down the stairs while holding the railing. A sigh like a groan escaped his lips.

However, he swallowed that sigh back into his mouth when he turned at the landing.

Two steps below the landing. Standing on the wide staircase with his back against the wall was Jang Wigeon. He had been smoking a cigarette with his arms crossed and looked up at Seo Chiyoung, who had come to a dead halt upon seeing him.

“…”

“I was just wondering what to do.”

Jang Wigeon spoke calmly. White smoke leaked out from between his speaking lips and scattered.

“I don’t like meddling in other people’s business, but I’ve been hearing quite often lately that that park area is frequented by truly dangerous types, and that some people have even ended up in the hospital…. However, there are probably more decent people than dangerous ones proportionally, and besides, if Chiyoung-ssi’s tastes are on the harder side, then I’d truly be overstepping by interfering…”

Seo Chiyoung just stood there blankly, staring at Jang Wigeon.

He hadn’t dreamed in his wildest thoughts that the man would be here. Even with a heart that worried for Seo Chiyoung. Although it was nothing more than purely worrying about an acquaintance, he still hadn’t imagined that Jang Wigeon would worry about him.

“…”

Seo Chiyoung opened his mouth instinctively, but not knowing what to say, he stammered and closed it again, slowly shaking his head first. Jang Wigeon looked at Seo Chiyoung with a somewhat bashful face before flicking his cigarette onto the ground.

“…I-it’s been years since I’ve been to a place like this… so I didn’t know well.”

When Seo Chiyoung finally spoke hesitantly, Jang Wigeon nodded and said casually, “I thought so.” And then he gave a grin, a smile just like his usual self.

“People who are worn out and experienced in this area—myself included—it’s obvious just by looking at their intuition. Haha, well, even so, it’s an intuition that’s only useful for finding a partner who won’t cause trouble afterward.”

As if trying to soften the awkwardly stiff atmosphere, a light playfulness was mixed into the end of Jang Wigeon’s words, but Seo Chiyoung did not laugh as he usually did. He couldn’t laugh.

He didn’t know how to describe this feeling. That suffocating discouragement and misery that had kept him from even thinking until he missed his step, and the overwhelming emotion that now mingled with those lingering feelings.

“…Do I.”

“Pardon?”

“Do I… look like I’d cause trouble afterward?”

When Seo Chiyoung asked while staring only at the ground, Jang Wigeon fell silent. He didn’t even know what state of mind he was in to ask that. But while he blurted those words out unconsciously and glared at the ground, the back of his neck slowly grew hot.

To those words, which contained a meaning so blatant that it was impossible not to know unless one was a fool, no answer came from Jang Wigeon for a while. Because Seo Chiyoung had his head bowed, he couldn’t see what kind of face the man was making either.

Even though it was only a short while ago that he had indirectly blocked Seo Chiyoung’s heart in advance, and even though he clearly had never harbored any expectations or hope for him, such words had come out of Seo Chiyoung’s mouth.

A brief silence flowed. It probably wasn’t that long, but to Seo Chiyoung, it felt like an eternity had passed, enough to make his head feel faint. Jang Wigeon’s answer returned as a troubled sigh.

“…Whether it’s attraction or the opposite, the fewer sentimental feelings you have for the other person, the cleaner and more trouble-free a casual relationship is.”

A troubled voice mixed with a sigh followed. This time was the same; he immediately realized it was a roundabout rejection.

Thump, his heart sank about an inch. He hadn’t expected a dream-like answer in the first place, but since a person’s heart is a fickle thing, he ended up disappointed despite the expected response.

So you did know. He already knew that Seo Chiyoung had feelings for him, he just hadn’t shown it. He had guessed it would be so.

Seo Chiyoung nodded. Lacking the courage to lift his gaze, his eyes stared only at his feet. This won’t do. I should lift my head casually and say, “I see, well, that’s that.” If I don’t, Jang Wigeon will keep looking at Seo Chiyoung with that troubled expression.

However, having no confidence in maintaining a casual poker face, Seo Chiyoung couldn’t lift his head despite the difficulty. In front of such a Seo Chiyoung, Jang Wigeon remained silent, whether out of awkwardness or because he was lost in thought.

He felt it would be best to escape this spot somehow. Even if it was uncomfortable right now, he felt both he and Jang Wigeon could breathe if he just left a brief greeting like “Well then” and left the scene, so Seo Chiyoung raised his head. Just as he opened his mouth to say, “I’ll be going first.”

However, before Seo Chiyoung could speak, Jang Wigeon—whose eyes met his as soon as he looked up, as if he had been watching Seo Chiyoung the whole time—spoke abruptly.

“Do you want to try it with me?”

Even though it was impossible not to know what he was referring to after such a long deliberation in this context, Seo Chiyoung momentarily failed to grasp the words he had heard.

“…—.”

There was no way he had misunderstood. The words he had heard along with the sigh just a moment ago were definitely a rejection. Therefore, it was perhaps natural that Seo Chiyoung didn’t understand the offer to “try it” with him.

Seo Chiyoung, who had been staring at Jang Wigeon as if he had lost his soul, seemed to have nodded at some point. No, perhaps his head had simply trembled because his body had flinched momentarily.

Jang Wigeon nodded slightly and said, “Then let’s go,” holding out his hand. Seo Chiyoung stared at the curve of Jang Wigeon’s lips, which wore a faint smile, then looked down at his hand.

The hesitation was not long. Seo Chiyoung quietly took Jang Wigeon’s hand, and he gently wrapped his hand around Seo Chiyoung’s and began to climb the stairs again.

∞ ∞ ∞

Seo Chiyoung had no memory of what he had said. No, he couldn’t even remember how he had entered this room. The only thing that remained among all his senses was that Jang Wigeon’s hand, which had been holding his, was warm—that was all.

He didn’t even know when he had let go of that hand. Seo Chiyoung, who had been standing blankly looking down at his own empty hand, only raised his head after hearing the sound of a low laugh. However, as he raised his head, he flinched, visibly shrinking back.

In front of Seo Chiyoung, only a few steps away, was Jang Wigeon. Having already stripped off his top and hung his jacket and shirt on a hanger, he was undoing his belt and lowering his fastener.