A Survival Guide for a Counselor in the Apocalypse – Chapter 34

Author: Cireng

Chapter 34

Day 2. We ran into even more fucked-up things. In other words, the ones created by the “Imperfect Creator.” From things that clung to monkey-like bodies and blinked a single eye as they ambushed like assassins, to ones that had simply turned into swamp-like forms.

—

[You have obtained 2 ‘Lowest-Grade Story Stone.’ An additional 1 is granted due to the event bonus.]

[You have obtained 1 ‘Low-Grade Gallstone.’ An additional 1 is granted due to the event bonus.]

—

The one saving grace was that Cha Hyeongseo and Lee Hoin were exceptionally talented when it came to using their bodies. I only had to take care of myself.

After finishing the hunt, we headed straight to the “Home.” Exactly at 6 PM. To avoid getting split up and ending up in another bullshit situation like last time, we tied ropes around each of our bodies and reached the Home together.

In the meantime, someone must have died again, because even the line of 20 had collapsed. The top-ranked “Rabbit Class” now had 19 people. But thinking about it, it made sense that Rabbit Class would have more; they had extra lives.

‘I should just take care of my own life.’

With what we gathered throughout Day 2, it would be enough to trade with the Story Merchant tomorrow. As soon as Day 3 began, we’d have to go out immediately and participate in the next joint event.

Lying on the floor, while the others were eating or doing their own things, I quietly opened the bottle and drank it.

—

[Absorbing ‘Story: 998 Ways a Cowardly Assassin Commits Suicide’….]

[Good luck. We hope you are not consumed by the ‘Story.’]

—

****

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Chapter 1: First Time Committing Suicide [▼]

—

The surroundings changed.

I was standing in the middle of an arena. And my arm was being swung around. In a trajectory I had never experienced before, holding a weapon.

As if the weapon itself had a will…

That was as far as I got before realizing the source of this dissonance.

‘This isn’t me.’

I was merely observing, parasitizing someone else’s body.

Everything ended anticlimactically. The opponent was quickly killed by this “man.” The man stood over the blood, staring down at the pool.

Above that pool of blood, a blurred face appeared like fog. One of the fragments showing how the “man” perceived himself.

“……”

Something inside the “man” snapped.

The “man” discarded something.

I struggled to follow that flow.

—

[Ah, the first chapter ends.]

[You have gained nothing…….]

—

Darkness.

***

—

Chapter 2: Suicide? (1) [▼]

—

The “man” was running somewhere. His body was light, his steps precise and familiar. Soon, he slipped through a window like a snake.

Then he stabbed a lump of flesh.

The process was clean. Too clean, so clean it was incomprehensible.

And something else started bothering me.

‘Why’ did he kill? Why call this suicide?

The “man” stabbed the corpse again. A finishing blow.

Blood splattered onto him.

The “man” lost something.

And once again, he discarded something.

—

[The second chapter ends.]

[You have gained nothing…….]

—

***

—

[The seventh chapter ends.]

[You have gained nothing…….]

—

***

—

[The thirteenth chapter ends.]

[You have gained nothing…….]

—

***

Only after consuming countless fragments did I realize:

This “man” was a perfectly honed blade, an obedient dog, a despised shadow.

He kept discarding things.

Around the 172nd time, it was no longer vague.

—

‘The man discarded guilt.’

—

Then again…

256th chapter:

‘The man discarded sorrow.’

352nd:

‘The man discarded sympathy and compassion.’

421st:

‘The man discarded fear and terror.’

489th:

‘The man discarded disgust and aversion.’

550th:

‘The man discarded shame.’

He advanced by discarding things one by one. And the intervals grew shorter.

He discarded courage. Disappointment. Excitement. Longing.

By the 700th chapter, almost nothing remained.

That’s when I understood why this was called a record of “suicide.”

This man was committing suicide while killing others.

A selfish, horrifying form of escape.

My thoughts cooled.

Then, the man’s blade turned backward.

The blade that always pointed forward turned behind.

The man killed the one who had always commanded him.

What surged then…

‘Love-hate, emptiness, desire for recognition.’

751st chapter.

The man seemed to return to the beginning, hacking apart those dying beneath him.

But unlike before, emotions didn’t fall away easily.

He didn’t cry.

As if he didn’t know how.

…So this bastard was–

‘A manufactured killing machine.’

Made only to kill. And he had given up being human.

Yet he still clung to a sliver of hope.

That contradiction made me sick.

Still, I had to understand him.

Because otherwise, I’d gain nothing.

This was already the past. Trying to change it was meaningless.

But I had to learn.

‘What I can do.’

Understanding.

Everyone has a story. With billions alive, no one is without one.

Using my own experience, I tried to understand this.

This situation. This person.

I mimicked his movements, as if acting a role.

I watched what he discarded and focused on what remained.

—

[Something faint sprouts.]

[You seem to be understanding ‘Skill: Cowardly Trajectory.’]

—

Why keep love-hate but discard courage?

Why keep emptiness but discard liberation?

Why keep the desire for recognition but discard accomplishment?

I guessed.

‘What did he discard first?’

Guilt.

I swung the blade again, feeling guilt.

After about 40 swings, what had seemed like flesh came into focus.

A person. A man.

Information surged:

Age 45. One son. Reason to die: rebellion.

Against whom?

Us.

Who are we?

‘My’ family.

I swung with pity.

‘Those dying by my hand… I pitied them.’

They had families, too.

The man clung to “family.”

He swung with fear.

Afraid of being abandoned by them.

Afraid they wouldn’t love him.

Desire for recognition rose.

From whom?

‘My family.’

What?

Usefulness.

Why?

Because I have to.

Blind desire for recognition.

Why?

—

[You have given up understanding ‘Skill: Cowardly Trajectory.’]

[Your qualification for ‘Skill: Cowardly Trajectory’ is revoked.]

—

I was forced in love and longing.

‘I want to be loved by my family.’

Anger.

Why don’t they love me?

Sadness.

Why did they turn me into this monster?

Why make me kill everything?

I don’t want to.

Finally, doubt.

Why only me?

What did I do wrong?

Why am I different from my siblings?

Why only me?

Why?

The man froze.

—

[The story is already in the past. It will not change.]

—

Then he moved again.

I mirrored him, but with different emotions.

I didn’t discard them.

I sought atonement for everything I harmed.

Thus, 995 chapters.

I gained nothing, only became accustomed to his movements.

—

[□□□□□□□□□□□]: …

—

Someone intervened.

—

[Oh my. The one who mass-produced broken stories has arrived.]

[Are you interested now?]

—

I felt someone watching me.

I ignored it.

The man’s hesitation grew longer, but nothing changed.

I didn’t move to change things.

I just refused to accept him blindly.

—

[You have learned ‘Skill: Basic Dagger Mastery.’]

[Something is tickling your heart….]

—

It wasn’t about justice.

I could kill, too. For survival.

But…

‘I won’t become a machine.’

I won’t forget guilt.

—

[You have rejected ‘Trait: Servility.’]

—

I won’t hesitate to atone.

—

[You have rejected ‘Skill: Emotional Erasure.’]

—

This isn’t justice.

It’s a duty.

The duty of being human.

I will not abandon my humanity.

—

[‘□□□□□□□□□□□’. Why are you just watching? You’re rejecting everything! Is it anger? Or curiosity? What emotion do you feel? Ah! Is that too cruel a question?]

—

If I abandon humanity, everything I have loses meaning.

I can’t comfort anyone.

I can’t empathize.

Then I understand nothing.

Then I doubt nothing.

Indifference is just acceptance.

—

[You have rejected ‘Skill: Berserk.’]

[You have rejected ‘Trait: Cowardice.’]

[You have rejected ‘Trait: Stillness.’]

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