Second Half Chapter 46

I thought my head would throb even more than when I was pelted with eggs at the airport. My mother, who was already weak-hearted by nature and had become even frailer both mentally and physically due to heart surgery, might be shocked; thus, even now, when my retirement plans were quite concrete, I couldn’t even bring up the first syllable of the word “retirement.”

I love my mother beyond measure, but at times, she felt so burdensome that the thought that I’d rather she weren’t there would occasionally cross my mind. Mostly when I imagined the near future around the time I would quit soccer. And then, I would immediately feel guilty for harboring such a thought, and my mood would plummet to the floor.

This time, following the same route, my mood sank even lower than usual. It was likely the fault of Aaron, who kept bringing up unpleasant topics despite the precarious atmosphere that felt like it could explode at any moment. It was just as Jerim’s temper, which he had managed to suppress, was about to flare up again.

“Even at that age, are your parents a consideration in planning your life?”

That single sentence, spoken in an irresponsible tone as if he were asking out of genuine curiosity, finally made Jerim explode.

“I haven’t understood it since the old days. You’re especially concerned about your mother—.”

“Shut up. You don’t know a damn thing.”

Jerim had no intention of meekly answering the idle questions poured out by a guy who had everything. When he cut him off with an unfriendly, short response, irritation seeped into Aaron’s voice as well.

“How am I supposed to know if you don’t tell me?”

“Most people, you know, if the other person won’t talk to the end, they roughly get the hint that the person doesn’t want to talk and move on. They don’t dig and pry like you.”

“…”

Sweeping back his hair, which had become a mess from the sea breeze, Jerim let out a hot breath. The beach, now shrouded in complete darkness, was quiet and eerie. The sound of the crashing waves felt like the sound of a whip.

It was so dark he couldn’t even see properly what was at his feet. He couldn’t distinguish whether another step would lead into the water or if the wide sandy beach still stretched out.

Nonetheless, Jerim took a step forward to distance himself from Aaron. He felt it would be better for his feet to get soaked than to stand there bickering with that guy any longer. He was about to turn his back and walk away, but unable to contain his anger, he spat out a few more words. He truly couldn’t understand why the hell he was curious about such things, or why a guy who wasn’t lacking in intuition kept prying.

“Don’t overstep, Aaron Reyes. We aren’t close enough to share our life plans anymore. And we’re definitely not on terms to talk back and forth about family matters.”

Did he think that because he crossed the line once a few days ago, he was allowed to interfere this much? If so, I wanted to tell him clearly that he was mistaken. As expected, I shouldn’t have been swept away by his face and the atmosphere back then and made a mistake. Swallowing that primary regret inside, I was just about to turn away, leaving Aaron alone.

“…Do you remember saying something similar a long time ago?”

The tone was interrogative, but in reality, it was closer to a monologue. The low murmur coming from behind caught Jerim’s footsteps. It wasn’t something worth listening to, yet it had a strange power that seemed to pull a person into a quagmire.

Aaron, who grabbed the arm of the halted Jerim to make him face him again, then threw the arm he had held aside. Even though they were standing face-to-face in close proximity, he couldn’t see his expression.

“You really know how to make a person feel like absolute shit. So sometimes, I really…”

Stopping mid-sentence for a moment, he brushed past Jerim and muttered as if spitting the words out.

“Fuck, it all feels like a waste of time.”

✲✲✲

Right before the match started, as always, the teammates gathered in a circle to strengthen their resolve. In the stands, the fans who had followed them all the way to this distant Italy were already singing the cheering song at the top of their lungs, even though the match hadn’t even begun.

Witness the moment a legend is born. Looking at the lyrics alone, one would think this was a semi-final rather than the first match of the Champions League group stage. Listening to the song that heightened his competitive spirit, Jerim took a deep breath. With his arms around the shoulders of the colleagues on either side and his head held high, he spoke lowly.

“Watch out for injuries. You all know our schedule ahead is tight, right? Let’s be careful so Sefton FC doesn’t have to change its name to the Saint Sefton Ward.”

If injuries occur in the starting squad from the very first group stage match, they won’t be able to handle the relentless match schedule. No matter how careful you are, most teams turn into hospitals disguised as football clubs from the middle of the season, but it was better to warn them to look after themselves.

After finishing a few pieces of advice, Jerim met the eyes of each teammate one by one. Passing those who nodded with grim expressions, those who gave a faint smile, and those who stamped their feet as if to say “just trust me,” he finally looked toward Aaron. Aaron, standing expressionlessly, only stared blankly into Jerim’s eyes.

“…Let’s win. Like we’ve been doing all this season.”

Jerim averted his gaze, pretending to naturally brush off that blank look whose underlying meaning he couldn’t decipher. The most important final piece of advice flowed out in a voice that, unlike usual, was slightly lacking in confidence. Fortunately, the teammates didn’t seem to notice anything strange and scattered, each giving their answer. Except for William.

As soon as the group dispersed, William scurried over to Jerim’s side and whispered softly. He seemed to have lowered his voice as much as possible for fear it might reach the opponent’s ears.

“What’s up with you two?”

“What.”

Even though he mentioned “you two” vaguely, Jerim didn’t ask back who he meant. Since they hadn’t even had a single conversation, let alone bickering, since they were in the locker room, it must have looked quite strange to William, who had even placed a fine on their verbal spats.

“The atmosphere… did something happen?”

“No.”

William looked like he wanted to ask more, but Jerim pushed his back and sent him down toward the goal. When he nagged about what a center-back was doing not taking his position, William had no choice but to run off. As soon as William stood in his place, the whistle signaled the start of the match, and a ball kicked by someone soared high.

From then on, it was a time of fierce struggle. There was no room to harbor stray thoughts. There shouldn’t have been. He only had to think about observing the ground, where the ball would land, how to send a pass through that swarming crowd of opposing players, and where to penetrate to preoccupy a good position.

Whether he had overreacted during the conversation with Aaron yesterday, whether as the captain he had pointlessly fought with a teammate the day before a match and stirred up trouble, …whether he really shouldn’t have said those last few words he added. He had to set aside such thoughts for as long as he was playing the match.

However, the very fact that he was trying not to think of other things while running without rest was evidence that he was, after all, failing to concentrate on the match. Since the body is inevitably governed by the mind, it naturally grew heavy. Because he didn’t want to admit that, Jerim overworked his legs even more.

Like he said, we’re nothing to each other, so why am I affected by a mere fight. Agonizing over this kind of problem was enough during his immature teenage years. The only thing he had to reflect on was that he hadn’t acted maturely as a captain. Anyway, reflection later. Now was the time to run somehow to produce a good result.

However, even the match gradually flowed differently from Jerim’s expectations.

“Ah, damn it!”

Edson, who had hit the goalpost again, shrieked as he kicked the innocent grass. Manager Verdi could be seen standing on the bench, shaking his head as if he couldn’t believe it. A Messina defender quickly caught the rebounding ball and kicked a long ball, starting a counterattack.

The ball that crossed the half-line dropped into a position that couldn’t be better for the Messina attackers to connect into a goal. Seeing that, the Sefton defenders rushed to try and block it somehow, but the timing was too late.

Not only did they concede a goal almost as if the goalpost were an open door, but in the process of trying to seize the ball, a yellow card was issued due to a judgment that William’s tackle was too deep. Robin protested fiercely, seemingly highly dissatisfied with that judgment. The frustration with the referee, who had been strict only toward Sefton since the beginning, finally exploded.

“Why is this a card, huh? He only touched the ball!”

“Robin, get out of there.”