To My First Love, With Regret (Libenia) Chapter 24

“Lady Evelyn Anne Victoria Sherwood — will you marry me?”

Even spoken with complete sincerity, the words sounded unnatural — as if they weren’t his. Like an amateur actor stealing someone else’s line.

Because even if he managed to climb the social ladder — Ethan Fairchild, son of a nursemaid and a gang leader — such words were not permitted to him.

But Eve accepted his proposal as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

“If you become the kind of man who doesn’t lock me in a cage — but soars high with me — then gladly.”

Because Ethan was exactly the man she wanted.

“Gladly.”

Ethan kissed the back of Eve’s hand — white and smooth as ivory — and slipped the old ring onto her finger.

A little big?

It didn’t matter. He’d only have to wait a few years. Someday — when they’d soared high, high up — he’d give her a new one. The biggest, most radiant ring in the world.

Until then…

“Don’t even think about flying away from me.”

---

They’d entered Lavinia without getting caught. But they still couldn’t fully relax. Not until they’d fled far, far from Mercia — and hidden somewhere no one could find them.

Tripiti is far enough.

Eve thought of the quiet coastal town where Emily Sutherland had settled — but didn’t mention it to Ethan. Because her father knew that place too.

In the end, they chose their destination impulsively — flipping through a travel guide they’d bought back in Mercia.

“I want to see the mountains — covered in eternal snow.”

The man and woman who’d lived their whole lives on the coast longed for mountains — like a child from deep inland dreams of the sea.

So they boarded a train heading into Lavinia’s interior — but after traveling a full day, they still couldn’t reach the snow-capped mountains.

They needed somewhere to spend the night. Ethan deliberately got off in a big city and headed to a decent-looking hotel. No matter how tight their finances — what kind of man would want his fiancée sleeping in a run-down inn with shared bathrooms and toilets?

“We just need one night — let’s go to the cheapest place.”

Eve objected — but when he told her about the inn on the outskirts of Richmond where he’d stayed when he came to take the Kingsbridge entrance exam…

“The moment I woke up — I found a rat gnawing on the bed.”

She stopped arguing and let him walk to the check-in counter.

“It looks cozy…”

The hotel room was smaller than any room Eve had ever stayed in. Her eyes immediately scanned the room for rat holes — but all she spotted was a stain in the corner of the carpet.

Ethan set the bag on the bench at the foot of the bed, walked over to Eve, and peered into the en-suite bathroom. Unlike the aristocrat who was only looking for rat holes — he turned on the faucet and flushed the toilet — checking the water pressure.

Finished with his inspection, Ethan turned and met Eve’s eyes — she was standing in the doorway. In this unfamiliar foreign city. In a hotel bathroom.

On the eve of their first night together.

Ethan clearly realized the same thing Eve did. Flushing slightly, he walked past her and left the bathroom.

“You shower first.”

He closed the door behind her — but soon Eve had to open it again and come back out. Not because a rat had appeared. Because she’d forgotten — she no longer had a maid to bring bath supplies and a change of clothes beforehand.

Ethan glanced at Eve as she opened the bag — then returned to what he was doing. He pulled back the blanket, checked the sheets — then made the bed again, preparing it for sleep.

There was only one bed.

Eve spent more time choosing underwear than a nightgown. Come to think of it — this was the first time she’d ever shown herself to him in sleepwear.

She’d shown herself in a swimsuit without any problem.

Only a swimsuit. That day, she’d also shown him a face unfit for a proper lady. So why now — when the long-awaited first night was approaching behind that door — was her chest trembling like this? She’d never known nervousness a day in her life — but tonight — all she felt was flustered.

Eve finished her bedtime preparations — but couldn’t leave the bathroom. She stared at her blushing reflection in the mirror. Taking a small breath — she finally stepped into the bedroom.

“By the way — don’t judge by appearances. The window faces the neighboring building’s window…”

Ethan, sitting by the window, turned to Eve — and instantly lost the ability to speak. The white satin nightgown was so thin it was practically see-through. Truth be told — Eve had deliberated for quite a while whether to throw a robe over it.

Judging by his gaze — which had lost its light, casual quality — she’d made the right choice not to. It seemed that under his insistent, burning stare — the satin might crumble to ash. Eve began to feel both nervous and excited at once.

“Your turn to wash up.”

She hurried the man who was just staring at her — who then dragged his hands aimlessly over his face — and sent him to the bathroom. Sitting in the chair that still held Ethan’s warmth, she looked at the bed he’d prepared — and a question occurred to her.

Which side am I supposed to sleep on?

She’d never once in her life thought about choosing ‘her’ side of the bed.

Either because she was so focused on that — or because Ethan really was taking forever — it felt like a long time had passed. Silently watching the bathroom door, Eve turned on the radio. But no matter how many stations she scanned — only vulgar music played, ruining the mood — so she turned it off.

A drink would be nice.

But when the bathroom door swung open and Ethan came out — she completely forgot about asking him to get her one. The man was just crumpling up his dirty clothes — but then started rummaging through different sections of the bag. She asked him:

“Which side are you sleeping on?”

He looked up — looked at the bed — then met her eyes. Hiding his embarrassment behind a playful smile, he answered:

“Next to you?”

Eve laughed and stood up. No need to guess now — so she climbed onto the bed from the nearest side and slipped under the blanket. Ethan watched intently as she habitually smoothed her hem — which would be hiked up soon anyway — then, leaving the bag he’d been unpacking open, he lay down. On the bed. Under the same blanket.

“…”

“I’ll turn off the light.”

“Okay.”

They lay side by side. The sheets were cold. Perhaps because there was enough space between them for another person.

Ethan didn’t close the distance. Didn’t speak to Eve. All she could hear was his steady — but slightly heavy — breathing. In the darkness — she couldn’t see where he was looking. But the way he kept swallowing made it clear — he wasn’t asleep.

“What are you thinking about?”

“I hope you don’t snore?”

Eve threw off the blanket. She sat up — even though she had nowhere to go — but in that same instant, a strong arm wrapped around her waist and pulled her close.

“Ah — oh!”

The moment she fell into his embrace — he covered her lips with his. The hot kiss melted her displeasure. But that was all.

“In my arms — you’ll only have good dreams. Good night.”

Having said that uncharacteristically sweet line — Ethan let her go. Now Eve couldn’t hold back anymore and asked bluntly:

“So we’re really just going to sleep?”

“I told you — I’ll wait until the wedding.”

“Good grief — what kind of man…”

“A man who keeps his word.”

“A boring man — probably.”

“A man who doesn’t respond to provocations.”

When he wrapped his arms around her from behind — she thought his words weren’t matching his actions — but he just quietly buried his face in her neck and went still.

It feels like I’ve been rejected. Just like with the first kiss.

Actually — it wasn’t rejection. Just a misunderstanding.

And now — this was probably a misunderstanding too. Ethan wanted her just as badly — but he was enduring for some reason of his own. Even if she didn’t understand it.

Eve was used to doing whatever she wanted — and didn’t know how to contain her anger when she didn’t get what she wanted. So for Eve — this endurance was equal to love. No matter what Ethan — who didn’t believe in her love — had to say.

She was just trying to process her disappointment alone — so that if she couldn’t control her feelings — she wouldn’t ruin Ethan’s mood too.

“Are you angry?”

Ethan lifted the arm around her waist — and accidentally brushed the tip of Eve’s breast. They both flinched. The hand he’d probably meant to stroke her head with — dropped back down. But something else rose up. Pressing against Eve’s thigh.

Eve couldn’t help it — she burst out laughing. Embarrassed, Ethan rubbed his cheek against her neck and made a small sound.

“Maybe it’s time to become the kind of man who breaks his promise — but isn’t boring?”

“No — I’ll stay boring.”

She felt like anything she said right now would be the wrong thing — so she just clicked her tongue softly and fell silent. Following that — a sigh from Ethan seeped into her hair.

“Ivy — I don’t want our first night memories tied to some random place and time. I want to etch us into a place and time where — when we look back — we can smile and say ‘remember how wonderful it was?’ — not some shabby hotel room in a foreign city whose name we’ll forget by morning.”

She felt deep in her soul — how much this man loved her. And she was ashamed of herself — for acting like a cat in heat.