Pheromone Off Chapter 11

“So I’m thinking of making you a proposal.”

“…”

“No matter how much this was your doing, you wouldn’t want to go as far as marrying the person your hyung is seeing either.”

“…”

“We won’t go as far as marriage.”

Speaking indifferently, he suddenly pulled a pack of cigarettes out of his coat’s inner pocket. He was about to light one naturally, but paused and asked Hajin.

“Do you smoke?”

At the question asking if he was a smoker, Hajin quietly shook his head. Then, he tossed the pack of cigarettes roughly into the storage compartment, stopping what he was about to smoke. Hajin was a little surprised by his behavior of not smoking just because his companion didn’t smoke. Considering a person like Seong Suhyun among his own acquaintances, it was by no means a given behavior. Still, it was an act of respecting the other person. Being respected—it was something Hajin wasn’t used to.

“Back to the main point.”

“…”

“I only plan on going as far as an engagement. You can just think of living together as a storefront window show.”

“…”

“No matter how much this was a marriage you wanted, that is as much as I can do for you.”

Hajin quietly stared at him while listening to his main point, which came without any explanation of right or wrong. There was clearly a misunderstanding, but Hajin didn’t bother to deny or explain it, and slowly opened the mouth he had kept shut.

“…Are you saying you’re going to deceive Grandfather?”

At the direct question, Kwon Sayoung quietly knitted his brows. It was a subtle movement, but it seemed like Hajin’s question was unexpected. A appearance that looked withered every time they met, the type that didn’t reveal his opinions or inner thoughts. Kwon Sayoung, who had judged Hajin to be the obedient type due to his family’s position, slightly raised the corners of his mouth, as if his talking-back answer was unexpected.

“You could say that.”

“…What if we get caught?”

At the returning question, Kwon Sayoung pondered for a moment while leaning his arm against the car seat.

“That’s something I’ll take care of.”

“I don’t want to deceive Grandfather.”

Hajin continued in a low voice. After hearing all of the conversation Kwon Sayoung and Seong Yeonwoo were having earlier, only one thought came to mind. It was the thought that he didn’t want to deceive his grandfather, who didn’t have much time left to live, like that. And they had continued their conversation as if the news about Grandfather was rather a relief. Somehow, he thought it was a bit sorrowful.

“…Do you think the Chairman is pushing forward with this just because you simply said you wanted to marry me?”

To such a version of him, he questioned back again. Hajin met his gaze with somewhat puzzled eyes, as if asking what that meant.

“It seems like the Chairman won’t be satisfied until he sees you and me getting married.”

“…”

“He must really cherish you. Seeing how he wants to see you leave that corner of the house and live properly before he dies.”

“…How does Hyung know that…”

“He’s not a gentleman who would push things this far just because you’re throwing a tantrum.”

“…”

“Don’t think of it as deceiving him, think of it as granting an old man’s wish.”

“…”

“Seeing how he called both families in and is talking to this extent, he’s not a gentleman who will ever bend his stubbornness, so accepting it in any way for now will be comfortable for both you and me.”

Hajin knew it too. Seeing how he even made an official declaration in front of everyone listening, it didn’t seem like he would bend his stubbornness at all. As proof, he hadn’t budged even though he himself had tried to stop him for several weeks.

“Just pretending to do it, if you accept only this, I won’t spare any support I can give you either.”

“…”

“If there’s something you want to do, I’ll back you up as much as possible, and there won’t be any reason to be short on finances either. My fiancé—I can do everything that fits that title. Except, only emotional things excluded.”

He brought up the words in a businesslike manner, offering generous conditions. It was a tone as if he were strictly doing business.

“I plan on acting out your fiancé perfectly, but there won’t be anything beyond that. The fact that you like me is something I can’t help, but there won’t be any occasion where you get compensated for it.”

“…”

“As you know, I’m dating your hyung, and I won’t be breaking up even while continuing this act.”

“…”

“It’s a matter that talks have already ended with your hyung too. And this matter will be known to only three people: you, me, and Yeonwoo.”

“…”

“As long as you don’t get caught by another third party, you may make a separate lover too. If you feel reluctant because it’s unpleasant, I’d like you to present compensation for it. That way, the profit and loss will balance out.”

He rattled off his business one after another. Listening to that talk blankly, Hajin felt his chaotic mind calmly sinking. A sinking feeling. A feeling of dropping heavily. Even though he knew his feelings, he didn’t seem surprised, nor did he particularly seem to feel any reluctance. It was just a simple attitude that it was none of his business. An ‘I’m sorry, but it doesn’t matter to me’ kind of attitude.

Hajin quietly looked out the window. He needed a moment to think. He too showed a willingness in this matter—to the extent of putting his own lover on the back burner. Of course, it didn’t look like he had any intention of giving up, but Hajin could fully feel that he was desperate in his own way. If Grandfather, the oldest adult of both families, and Kwon Sayoung, who held a huge presence in the family, pushed for it, it wasn’t a matter that would be ruined just because he disliked it.

Hajin knew his position, his place, very well. Hajin, who realized that he ultimately had to comply with every situation, realized the bitterness and the self-misery he always felt once again, and recalled the simple purpose of this matter. Something that happened anyway, something that would happen anyway. The purpose he had to consider most important. If it was something he couldn’t help anyway…

“…Can I attach conditions too?”

Hajin brought up the words calmly. Since it was going to turn out this way anyway, he recalled the most important purpose to himself.

At his question, he tilted his head, telling him to speak. Hajin hadn’t even thought about profiting from this marriage. But if there was one thing he wished for.

“To Grandfather… please never get caught.”

“…Didn’t you say you didn’t want to deceive him earlier?”

“…Since Grandfather wouldn’t be stopped if he’s coming out to this extent anyway. Though of course, I couldn’t stop him either.”

At his words, Kwon Sayoung nodded his head a couple of times as if understanding.

“Since we’re doing it anyway… I want to show Grandfather properly.”

“…”

“…The way I’m doing well.”

From the beginning, that was the purpose. Seeing him leave that house and live well. Grandfather’s wish, wanting to see him live well inside a solid fence called Kwon Sayoung. Grandfather’s words that he didn’t have much time left to live were real. One year—he couldn’t know whether it would be shorter or longer, but if he wanted to see it to the extent of throwing such a tantrum, he himself wanted to do that for him too.

“So… Hyung, please act out my fiancé perfectly too.”

Hajin added the words firmly. With the prayer that he could use him however he liked, but to please fulfill his one wish.

He lifted his lowered gaze at Hajin’s condition and stared intently. As if he considered that condition unexpected too, interest was overlaid onto the staring gaze. Just then, when silence lingered in the space where only the low sound of the engine was laid down, he, who delayed his answer for a moment, caressed his chin and answered softly.

“…Just what I wanted.”

After that, the conversation broke off. Until they arrived in front of the house, there was no other private conversation besides that.

As if proving that they were a relationship that only shared business—nothing more, nothing less.

࣪˖ ִֶָ🍇་༘

Somehow, he was incredibly tired.

As soon as Hajin returned inside the house, he started by washing up. It felt like tremendous things had happened, but when he actually faced the matter, he was calm. He thought he would feel a bit excited or more sorrowful, but when it actually hit, it was a numb feeling.

But after a little while passed, the memories were recalled and his chest gradually shrank. Entrusting his body to the stream of water, Hajin digested his gradually chaotic feelings and mind. In the end, things he thought could never happen would happen, and from now on, he would officially become Kwon Sayoung’s fiancé in front of quite a lot of people.

Sigh…

Hajin let out a sigh several times throughout washing. He realized that it was no use thinking and reflecting all the way. If so, there was no choice but to accept it calmly.

If someone looked at it, they might say isn’t it a good opportunity since he was the person he liked anyway, but it was rather the opposite. Because he directly felt that those feelings were of no use or meaning to him, it was only more miserable. Since he bluntly heard the words that ‘you are business and the person I love is separate, so don’t wish for anything,’ he came to realize anew that he was a disturber between those two no matter who looked at it.

He had no expectations anyway but… a feeling of being cut down at a single stroke. A feeling of being dumped even though he hadn’t confessed. A feeling of being forced not to covet even though he didn’t wish for any answer. Even though he received confirmation of that fact, he couldn’t help the bitterness.

Hajin, who could by no means sleep even after washing and lying on the bed, quietly left the room and headed toward the wine cellar. In the basement of the Yu-jeong-je building, a wine cellar of enormous area existed. Hajin sometimes secretly went there and stole a bottle or two of wine to drink. It was a place his parents had prepared for Seong Yeonwoo, who was a lover of alcohol. All the family members used it frequently, but the real owner was Seong Yeonwoo, and even if he wanted to drink, Seong Yeonwoo wouldn’t be pleased, so it couldn’t be helped that he had to use it secretly.