Hazardous Concentration Chapter 12

Even though he had asked them several times over the phone to pay attention, they only said they would, but it was never put into action.

He couldn’t get angry and fight with them, either. If he did that and they shouted that they couldn’t do it anymore, it was he who would be left in a difficult position. Eunhoo hung up the phone, saying he would think about it, and let out a sigh. His chest area kept feeling stuffy, as if something was firmly blocking it.

Eunhoo was sick and tired of his own incompetence.

Even after returning to his accommodation, Eunhoo could not rest comfortably. As soon as he finished washing up, he unfolded the household account book on the table.

The edges of the notebook were thoroughly frayed from how much he had been fidgeting with them over the time.

The largest amount in the breakdown was, by far, the private loan interest. Next were his mother’s hospitalization fees and caregiving fees in that order. At least recently, the monthly rent expense had been removed, so he could breathe a little easier.

“And cell phone costs and transportation expenses.”

Following that were the daily necessities he bought when going to the hospital. He had finished organizing everything.

“What should I do?”

No matter how much he looked into it, he couldn’t see anywhere else to cut costs. The money that previously went toward monthly rent was being saved bit by bit in a bank account he created to pay off the principal.

“Should I walk to the hospital?”

When his mother was hospitalized at the university hospital, it was about a 30-minute walk from [Songrim], so it didn’t matter, but the current hospital took at least 40 minutes by car no matter how conservatively he estimated it.

“Two hours on foot? No, would it take about three hours?”

If he had a smartphone, he would at least be able to figure out the travel time roughly.

Staring intently at the numbers, Eunhoo closed the notebook because he couldn’t find an answer. It was better to look for another part-time job rather than spend time like this.

Since he couldn’t afford the interest and hospital bills with only his [Songrim] salary, Eunhoo went out to do daily part-time work at a logistics warehouse every Monday whenever it was his day off. Because his stamina was weak, he couldn’t do heavy lifting, so he was in charge of packing and inspection.

“It’s miserable.”

Even with a body like this, Eunhoo thought he would be able to do something when he stepped out into society. But reality was not like that.

“Should I look for more early morning work?”

If he slept about four hours a day, that was sleeping a lot. Having repeated that for over two years, he suffered from chronic fatigue, and his head was always heavy. Still, there was no other way.

“I won’t die.”

Even if he did, there was nothing he could do about it.

Thinking he should look for a new part-time job starting tomorrow, Eunhoo turned off the light and lay down. However, sleep did not come right away. As always, Eunhoo tossed and turned in his bedding for a long time before finally falling asleep only when it was late into the early morning.

Eunhoo, who had barely closed his eyes and was trying to sleep, let out a groan and soon began to toss and turn here and there.

“Ugh….”

It was a nightmare he hadn’t had in a long time. For the first year, he was afraid to sleep because he would have the dream as soon as he closed his eyes. But as time passed, perhaps because he got used to this situation or because his body was tired from work, they became sporadic, and now he only had the dream on days when his physical condition wasn’t good. The content of the dream was mostly similar. A black entity with an unknown shape loomed around Eunhoo. He tried to squirm to escape from it, but he couldn’t move as if tied up. Every time the black entity exhaled, black smoke rose. He could feel it grinning—the thing that had no eyes, nose, or mouth.

No! No!

As if mocking his desperate pleas, the black entity approached closer and closer. Drip. Drip. Water or something kept falling to the floor. The entity got closer and closer. Making a splashing, wet sound, it approached and reached out a hand. It felt like it was going to grab his ankle with that hand at any moment and drag him away. At the peak of terror, Eunhoo couldn’t even scream and just choked out sounds.

This terrible nightmare began after his father disappeared. The last time Eunhoo saw his father was the day before red stickers were slapped on their home.

Because he was tired after finishing his finals, Eunhoo had gone to sleep early. How much time had passed? A creaking sound of the door opening was heard, and someone approached.

‘Eunhoo, are you asleep?’

It was his father. Since he was young, he would often come into Eunhoo’s room and check if he was sleeping well or if he had covered himself well with the blanket. So, Eunhoo couldn’t detect anything strange at all. Only, a faint smell of alcohol drifted from his father. It was unusual. When his uncle came over, he would lightly enjoy some drinks with a meal, but at most, it was only two glasses. It wasn’t that his alcohol tolerance was low, but he had developed a habit of restraining himself for the sake of the business the next day.

His father sat silently by the head of the bed, looked at Eunhoo, pulled the blanket up to his neck, and slowly stroked his hair.

‘I’m sorry. Eunhoo.’

In the past, too, Eunhoo’s parents would often say habitually that they were sorry they couldn’t give birth to him healthy.

Whenever they did, Eunhoo would always frown. He was struggling to keep his mind under control, and if they said that, wouldn’t it really feel like he was a defective product? So, after he shouted at them once, the first and last time, to stop, they never brought those words up again.

Even back then, Eunhoo didn’t know how much his father’s business had tilted. He was that naive and ignorant.

‘Never forgive Father.’

When he knew the reason, his father had already disappeared.

At first, he couldn’t believe it. He didn’t want to admit that that affectionate and responsible father had abandoned them and run away. He waited every day, counting down the days, thinking he would appear after today passed. However, to this day, he hadn’t seen his father’s face, let alone heard any news.

Not only was it bewildering to be chased out of the place they lived overnight, but loan sharks even rushed in. They were qualitatively different from ordinary creditors.

In a state where he couldn’t even figure out exactly how much debt his father had incurred, he heard all sorts of horrible things.

‘What a waste. If you were a girl, I could get about 500 or 600 million won as a ransom.’

He felt nauseous at the gaze that examined him from head to toe and made an evaluation. Watching them click their tongues as if they were genuinely regretful, all Eunhoo could do was shiver in fear.

Later, he managed to pull himself together and applied for personal rehabilitation, but the procedure was complicated and took a long time. Above all, would they give up money obediently just because he did that? A fact Eunhoo felt desperately after his house went under was that the law was far away and reality was harsh.

The relatives who used to come in and out of the house as if they were kin ignored him as if they had never known him. Like that, Eunhoo was thrown out naked into the freezing wind.

‘How about it, do you have any thoughts of selling your body? With that face, there seem to be quite a few guys who would pay for your back passage.’

‘I, I will pay the money back. I can just pay it back, right?’

He would rather die than do something like selling his body—that was something he absolutely couldn’t do. Eunhoo shook his head in terror. The fortunate thing was that at the time, there were still several years left until the repayment date. He only had the thought to work somehow to earn the money to pay it back by then. But reality was not easy. He was struggling just by paying the interest every month.

‘Don’t you know? The guys masturbating while looking at your photos. Including me.’

Ptooey! The department head, who was the collection manager, spat and licked Eunhoo up and down with a gaze even creepier than before.

Having a pretty face for a man was not a blessing, but a disaster. He became a target of sexual harassment every chance they got. One day, he even reached a truly dangerous moment.

‘Ah, I don’t care about your back door, I want to fuck! I’ll pay you well, can’t I try piercing it once?’

The man laughed, giggled, grabbed Eunhoo’s buttocks, and pressed them tightly against his lower body. The moment the bulging object touched below, Eunhoo let out a shriek as if he were shuddering in disgust.

‘Haa. Haa.’

The look of disgust was clearly visible on the face of Eunhoo, who had run away while panting heavily. Even while facing that, the man, as if finding it rather amusing, clenched and opened the hand that had just grabbed his buttocks and grinned.

‘Your reaction is just like a virgin girl. Are you really a man?’

As if he were guilty and had been hit in a weak spot, Eunhoo was startled and shouted.

‘I, I, I really am a man!’

‘It doesn’t look like it at all. Should I take it off and see if your dick is properly attached?’

And at the same time as finishing his words, he grabbed the waist of Eunhoo’s pants tightly.

‘Aaack!!’