Your Majesty, Dinner Is Ready. Chapter 1 - He Knows Everything

Chapter 1 — He Knows Everything

 

[(Guide) A Twisted Truth Cultist Guide Written by a Fossil Who Spent 20,000 Hours Playing Nothing but a Cultist Because Watching You All Play Is Painful]

– Author: Lidni’s Foot-Washer 

 

The Forerunner of the Twisted Truth.

The Evil God of Perverse Knowledge and Abominable Sorcery.

The Cunning Magician who tore out His own eyes as an offering, devoured the World Tree, and seized infinite wisdom.

Lord Lidni knows everything.

But you idiots don’t seem to know anything, so I decided to write a guide for Cultists of the Twisted Truth.

If you disagree, you’re wrong, so just turn your brain off and follow along.

 

1. Why should you worship Lord Lidni?

Cultists of the Twisted Truth start with “Eyes That Perceive the Truth,” and this thing is basically a universal tool. It’s insanely helpful for surviving the early game.

On top of that, the class has eighteen different skill branches, making it by far the most versatile Cultist.

 

2. Race

Humans and goblins aren’t bad, but personally, I highly recommend Half-Elf Cultists.

“Isn’t God of Nature curse elves who worship an evil god? That’s nonsense.”

As I already said earlier, the fact that you felt like arguing just proves I’m right and you’re wrong.

The reason I recommend Half-Elves will be explained later in the Mysticism and Build sections, so stop questioning it and keep reading.

 

3. Traits

No more, no less.

Take “Fanatic Believer” and “Rusted Mind.”

The reason is….

 

I stopped typing and rested my hands on the keyboard, lost in thought.

This was difficult.

How could I explain every useful piece of information while keeping the guide from becoming boring?

‘Should I just write: “Combining the traits [Fanatic Believer] and [Rusted Mind] lets you worship an unlimited number of other evil gods at the same time, which is amazing”?’

No.

That was far too vague.

I’d have to explain it in detail for people to actually understand it.

But then it’d become way too long.

These days, if there isn’t a three-line summary, most people just hit the back button, so I had to keep it as short as possible.

‘This is giving me a headache….’

 

Why had I become obsessed with a class that was both difficult and weak, to the point that I was writing guides like this?

The truly unfair part was that balance patches came out every few months without fail, yet despite Cultists being the worst class in the game, they got nerfed every single time.

Apparently, it was “necessary for the setting.”

[Oh dear! Once again this month, the Evil Gods have been neglected by the people! Without faith, they failed to gain any power at all! Our condolences to all Cultists!]

That was the kind of smug joke the North American developers loved stuffing into the patch notes.

Sure, Cultists were supposed to be weak according to the lore, but how could they never receive a single buff?

Still grumbling to myself, I continued typing away.

‘It’s already dawn.’

I’d become so absorbed in writing that I’d ended up pulling an all-nighter.

Stretching my overworked fingers, I stood up from my chair.

I was getting sleepy.

Maybe it was time for some caffeine.

“Huh?”

I grabbed one of the buy-one-get-one coffees I’d bought yesterday from the refrigerator and peeled the lid open.

Then I frowned.

Words I had never written were appearing on my screen.

[Seeker who treads the path toward the Twisted Truth.]

The sentence appeared in a bizarre font, as though someone had scribbled it by hand.

Before I could process what was happening…

More text began writing itself without anyone touching the keyboard.

[The Wise One has been moved by your utmost devotion.]

The instant my eyes read those words… My vision suddenly began to blur.

[Lord Lidni watches over you. Learn new knowledge, and ceaselessly seek the truth. May the glory of the One who beheld the Twisted Truth spread throughout the world!]

My eyelids grew unbearably heavy.

Everything before my eyes turned white.

‘…What?’

Unable to resist the overwhelming drowsiness, I staggered in place before collapsing.

As my consciousness faded, I caught sight of the final sentence appearing on the monitor.

Unlike the previous lines, it was written in a neat, elegant typeface.

[May your journey safely reach its destined end….]

 

***

 

“Why would you worship an evil god?”

The ragged-looking boy suddenly threw the question at me.

I couldn’t answer immediately.

It wasn’t because I didn’t know what to say.

If someone gave me enough time, I could spend half a day explaining exactly why anyone would abandon kind, benevolent gods to worship capricious, ill-tempered evil ones.

The real culprit silencing the words that were practically bursting to come out was the strange black text floating before my eyes.

[Abel, an impoverished pickpocket from the slums (Tiger Beastkin, age 12). Barely scraping by together with his older sister, Marlin. An insolent brat whose attitude toward you is highly disrespectful. It would be best to eliminate him.]

“…”

A simple profile floated in midair, accompanied by a recommendation to commit murder.

As absurdly unrealistic as the sight was…

It wasn’t actually that difficult to accept.

At the very least, it was easier to process than the reality that I’d lost consciousness and woken up in an entirely different world.

I slowly turned my head and looked around.

Every time another person, object, or scenery entered my field of vision, more text of the same handwriting floated into view.

[A forest with a suspicious atmosphere. The unusually thick branches and dense foliage completely block out the sky, creating an oppressively dark environment.]

When I looked at the forest surrounding us…

[Vance, swordsman of the Cheonhwa Mercenary Company (Human, age 39). A hopeless drunk who gulps down beer the moment he wakes up every morning. What an idiot!]

When my gaze landed on a heavily intoxicated mercenary…

[Marlin, burglar from the slums (Tiger Beastkin, age 14). Abel’s older sister. Despite her young age, she already possesses outstanding thieving skills… a future master thief.]

And even when I met the eyes of the wide-eyed girl who hurried over and hid her little brother behind her back…

Information I had absolutely no desire to know appeared before me.

It was all useless trivia, though it did help me grasp the situation.

“Quit ignoring me and answer! Why do you believe in some evil god? Idiot.”

“Abel, stop.”

The girl clamped a hand over her younger brother’s mouth before cautiously backing away.

Apparently, she’d interpreted my silence and wandering gaze… born from trying to adapt to this impossible situation, as something entirely different.

Her eyes remained defiantly fixed on me.

Her trembling hands told another story.

“Calm yourself, human.”

At that moment, a red-skinned orc resting a spear across his shoulder stepped forward, blocking my view.

“I understand you’re upset because he worships the god you despise, but endure it for now. You can vent your anger after we’re finished. We may have gathered only because of money, but we’re still members of the same expedition, aren’t we?”

A minor conflict with a tiger beastkin boy who hated Cultists.

An orc stepped in to mediate and take control of the atmosphere.

The situation was painfully familiar.

There was no way I wouldn’t recognize it.

I’d gone through it thousands of times.

‘…The Cultist tutorial.’

Every clue pointed toward one impossible truth.

Nightmare Dungeon.

The game, whose uniquely addictive gameplay had consumed every free moment of my life after I quit my job.

This was the very world inside the game where I’d traded 20,000 hours of my life for dopamine.

‘…Is it really?’

It was the most logical conclusion.

Yet it still sounded utterly ridiculous.

Honestly, the idea that I’d been living on coffee for days while pulling all-night gaming sessions until I started hallucinating dreams like this seemed more believable.

Still…

If my guess was actually correct, standing around doing nothing wasn’t an option.

The reason was written across the air in enormous letters.

 

[E-Rank Labyrinth – Hideout of the Lurker Ghouls]

[The ghouls that inhabit this filthy den possess an incredibly keen sense of smell toward the living. They are especially obsessed with the scent of blood, so take care.]

 

I needed to run.

The moment that thought crossed my mind…

A revolting stench rapidly approached from deeper within the forest.

They’re here.

The Cultist newbie exterminators.

The miracle cure for low blood pressure.

The great wall that makes low-level players weep.

Monsters are universally praised for one thing:

Never losing sight of the rookies and faithfully ripping apart brand-new tutorial players.

“An intruder….”

Ghouls.

Undead creatures armed with razor-sharp claws, pointed fangs, and faces so hideous they bordered on horrifying stepped out from between the trees.

 

[Lurker Ghoul (Level 3)]

[At your current strength, you stand absolutely no chance against a ghoul. It is recommended that you throw the others to them as bait and escape.]

 

There were only two of them.

But in the tutorial, they were practically invincible.

The orc frowned.

The siblings nervously scanned their surroundings.

The mercenary was still busy drinking.

“So they’ve arrived already. That’s different from what that Harmony Church scholar told us.”

The orc gripped his spear with both hands and boldly stepped forward.

“But do not fear.”

“This great warrior, Tunrak, shall protect every one of you!”

Not the slightest trace of fear appeared in his confident stride.

His broad shoulders and muscular back inspired absolute confidence.

Even the siblings looked a little reassured.

…Ignorance really was bliss.

I immediately turned around and began checking my bearings.

I had to hurry.

“For eternal struggle–!”

With a mighty shout, the orc lunged forward, thrusting his spear.

Even to someone like me, who knew nothing about spear techniques, the stance looked clumsy.

The ghoul simply tilted its head slightly, casually avoiding the spearhead before extending one arm.

Crunch!

“Ghk… Ughhh….”

Its razor-sharp claws pierced straight through the orc’s chest and burst out through his back.

Without healing magic, it was a fatal wound.

The self-proclaimed great warrior convulsed briefly before going limp.

‘Just like always.’

 

[Tunrak, novice warrior (Red Orc, age 24). Although he looks like a seasoned veteran, he has never experienced real combat. A fool who trusted nothing but his muscles and got himself killed.]

 

It was tragic.

But there was nothing anyone could do.

He simply couldn’t be saved.

I’d tried every possible method, as if I were trapped in an endless time loop.

In the end, it was essentially a mandatory event.

Rather than wasting time on something meaningless, surviving by using the unfortunate orc’s sacrifice as a stepping stone was the only sensible choice.

“Wh-What the hell are these thiiings?!”

The drunken mercenary was the next target of the ghoul’s claws.

He was more experienced than Tunrak and would buy us a little time.

He was fairly strong…

But if you kept him alive, he’d only troll the party later anyway.

Another trap character planted by the sadistic developers.

It was better to abandon him.

“What are you doing?”

After confirming which direction we needed to go, I ran past the frozen tiger beastkin siblings.

“Hurry up and run.”

The young brother and sister were nothing like the helpless horror movie extras who froze in danger before getting slaughtered.

After hesitating for only a brief moment…

They immediately started running after me.

Tap tap tap tap!

Our hurried footsteps pounded across the dry forest floor.

“…Mister Cultist!”

Marlin quickly caught up to me using the superior physical abilities unique to beastkin.

She urgently asked,

“Where are we going? Can we survive if we run away?”

I’d heard this exact question countless times in the game.

I recalled the dialogue options that normally appeared here.

 

[1. Be silent.]

[2. If you don’t keep quiet, I’ll tear your mouth apart.]

[3. Ignore her.]

 

…I had no desire to become the sort of pathetic adult who spoke to children like that.

Choosing the gentlest words I could to reassure her, I answered,

“I’ll save you. So follow me, Marlin.”

“…!”

Marlin’s eyes widened.

“How do you know my name?”

“What a strange question.”

Breathing heavily, I allowed a faint smile to curl across my lips.

“Because Lord Lidni knows everything.”