Your Majesty, Dinner Is Ready. Chapter 212 - Let Me Show You What Truly Counts as Something Shocking

Chapter 212: Let Me Show You What Truly Counts as Something Shocking

 

A crowfolk with drowsiness plastered all over his face leisurely smoked from a long tobacco pipe.

Hoo…

Dreamlike, iridescent smoke drifted upward.

The chairman of the Interracial Association, Blackbeak, blankly gazed at the mountains outside the window as he let himself relax.

‘Now I can finally breathe easy.’

The Grand Gathering for Interracial Harmony, which Jerix, the spiritual pillar of the hardline faction, had pushed through with all his might, had concluded safely without any major incident.

Although several moderate-faction executives who had participated in the tournament had suffered serious injuries, they could recover with sufficient rest.

Compared to the catastrophe that would have occurred had events gone the way the hardliners intended, those sacrifices were undeniably minor.

‘…I should be able to rest peacefully for a while.’

Feeling the breeze blowing in through the window, Blackbeak thoroughly enjoyed the refreshing sensation of relief filling his chest.

Jerix had been suffocating to deal with.

The stress had been so great that he’d even reduced his beloved sleeping time from thirteen hours a day to eight.

Tap. Tap.

When he lightly tapped the low desk with his pipe, the mountain of paperwork disappeared, replaced by a bottle of liquor.

“…Heh.”

Just as Blackbeak was about to boldly start drinking during work hours…

Bang!

The door suddenly swung open, and an Association member entered.

A small sparrowfolk. It was “Miracle Archer” Wonderbeak, an explorer belonging to the Unity Guild directly under the chairman.

“Godfather, I’ve come to make my report.”

“Mm. You must be tired. Go get some rest today.”

“I can’t.”

The little sparrowfolk firmly shook her head.

“We cannot ignore established procedures. Godfather, laziness is a poison that eats away at our spirit. Please do not cast diligence from your mind.”

“…Very well.”

Blackbeak quietly made the liquor bottle disappear before picking up his pipe again.

Meanwhile, Wonderbeak began giving a detailed report of everything that had happened during the tournament.

Not summarized in the slightest. A report so obsessively detailed it bordered on compulsion.

Hoooo…

Instead of sighing, Blackbeak exhaled a long stream of smoke.

‘Whatever am I supposed to do with this inflexible child?’

If she’d simply smiled cutely as her appearance suggested, he would’ve accepted that as a “report.”

Instead, Wonderbeak maintained perfect posture and a stiff expression while endlessly rattling on, completely oblivious to other people’s feelings.

“…And thus, by supporting Golden Crow Karr’s strategy, we were able to stop Lord Jerix’s plan.”

“Hearing the detailed process somehow makes it even more unbelievable….”

Golden Crow Karr had eliminated Jerix through an utterly absurd scheme.

He’d entrusted the request to Karr under the belief that every available method should be utilized.

In the end… it had been the right decision.

Though, because Karr’s methods had been so bizarre, they’d decided to heavily edit the middle portions of the tournament recording.

After all, publicly revealing the process by which Jerix had been seduced by ‘his son’s lover’ might severely damage the Interracial Association’s reputation.

“What kind of explorer did Golden Crow seem to be?”

“……”

Wonderbeak pondered briefly before answering.

“He carried out a self-sacrificial ritual simply to deceive Lord Jerix once. He’s a cultist willing to do absolutely anything to achieve his goals.”

“Hmm….”

“Please don’t misunderstand him. Golden Crow Karr is free from prejudice and preconceptions. He possesses the potential to achieve true harmony.”

“……”

Blackbeak lightly tapped his temple with his index finger.

“Are you certain?”

“Yes.”

Wonderbeak’s judgment was never wrong.

[Marvelous Intuition]. A constitution that allowed Wonderbeak to instantly grasp the truth from whatever information she was given.

It was why she’d been able to discern Karr’s true intentions for stopping Jerix merely by observing from afar.

“Understood. Good work. Now hurry and get some rest.”

“Yes, sir.”

After Wonderbeak bowed and left the room… Blackbeak blankly stared up at the ceiling.

“True harmony….”

As if something like that could possibly exist.

Blackbeak had always maintained that every race couldn’t live without conflict or disputes. That belief hadn’t changed even after becoming chairman.

‘…That doesn’t mean I can simply ignore it.’

Even if he’d only accepted the chairman’s position out of necessity, he still had to fulfill his responsibilities.

No one was forcing him to. But he wouldn’t be satisfied otherwise.

“I suppose I’ll have to take good care of him….”

Muttering absentmindedly, Blackbeak lightly tapped his desk with his pipe.

Then he spoke into empty air.

“Mek. Bring Lord Karr to the chairman’s office.”

 

***

 

The lodging district of the Interracial Association headquarters.

The large room of the inn “The Sleeping Piggy.”

“I’m tired.”

Our Moonlight Expedition was sprawled all over the warm room.

Normally we’d have thrown a celebration party for winning the tournament, but instead we’d decided to rest.

The aftereffects of [Grand Chaos Disruption Field] left everyone dizzy and aching all over, causing us to collapse from exhaustion.

“I’ve got a dream now after this expedition.”

Astrimia was the only one completely unaffected because she was a sword chattered away in her beautiful voice.

“Having a living body… it was really wonderful, you know? Looord Kaar, there has to be at least one Mystery or technique that can turn a weapon into a human form, right?”

“Of course.”

As I sipped Charlotte’s health juice, I looked outside.

The artificial sun’s warm rays felt pleasantly comforting.

“It’s entirely possible through Mysteries. I’ll gladly help you.”

“Just what I’d expect from Lord Karr! Pendrick, aren’t you excited too?”

Pendrick, who was holding his lover in his arms, hesitated briefly before answering.

“…Yeah.”

Why was his answer so lukewarm?

“Karr, I have a question.”

Marlin, lying with her head in Rosalia’s lap, lazily opened her mouth.

“What do you think Lord Jerix is doing now? Do you think he’s currently thinking something like, ‘I haven’t given up yet, so don’t think this is over!’?”

“Gasp. That’s an incredibly plausible guess.”

“……”

Marlin glared at me upside down.

Maintaining eye contact, I created an illusion of her beside me with [Illusion].

“[…Stop teasing me. I hate you, Karr.]”

The illusion of adult Marlin turned her head away with tears welling up in her eyes.

The real Marlin immediately sat upright.

“…Erase it.”

“Why? She’s adorable.”

“[That’s right. She’s so cute!]”

“I-I think she’s cute too….”

Brightfeather cautiously tried to join in, only to immediately shrink back after meeting Marlin’s gaze.

“If you don’t get rid of it right now, I won’t just sit by either!”

“What are you going to do?”

“Starting today, I’m not eating a single vegetable. I’m only going to eat meat. Hehehe!”

“…No!”

I immediately dispelled [Illusion].

For a moment there, the still-growing teenager Marlin had nearly fallen into the clutches of the terrifying demon known as nutritional imbalance.

“You’ll eat your vegetables now, right?”

“I’ll decide based on how you behave from now on, Karr.”

“Would you like to watch my adorable ‘Wiggle Wiggle Dance’?”

“…The one you did for Lord Pingpi during the [Southern Continent Expedition]? I’ll pass.”

Ding!

As I was trying to coax Marlin out of threatening picky eating, a cheerful sound rang out.

Rosalia held up two fingers toward me.

“Two guests are waiting outside?”

She nodded.

The Sleeping Piggy had a courtyard, and there was a mechanism inside the building for opening the front gate.

“I’ll go.”

After finishing my health juice in one gulp, I stood up and opened the gate.

Then I stepped into the courtyard.

“Hi, Karr!”

My goblin friend, Mek, waved both hands from the middle of the courtyard.

His complexion was noticeably brighter than before the tournament.

“Hmm. It’s been a while.”

Standing beside him was the dog beastman martial artist, Huztis.

Pendrick, who had followed me outside, immediately bowed deeply.

“Master!”

Huztis was the one who had taught Pendrick the martial Mystery [Circulating Qi and Regulating Breath].

As Mek’s friend, he was a rather unusual member of the Interracial Association who got along well with humans.

“Pendrick. Have you been cultivating your internal energy properly?”

“Of course.”

“And using it well in battle?”

“…Yes!”

His answer came a little late.

Proof that the triangle of conscience within the super-genius swordsman still hadn’t had its corners worn away.

As a cultist who couldn’t tolerate injustice, I decided to become a shameless whistleblower.

“Actually, he doesn’t actively use it. He relies mostly on aura.”

“…Captain, that’s so mean!”

Pendrick grabbed my slender shoulders and shook me before immediately dropping to his knees before Huztis.

“I’m sorry, Master!”

“Why are you apologizing?”

Huztis tilted his head as though he genuinely didn’t understand.

“If you’re only using aura, then it simply means you haven’t properly learned how to use internal energy. Train with me, and I’ll solve that problem.”

“…Huh?”

“Come. The arm I lost during the tournament still aches somewhat, but I can more than adequately supervise your training.”

“Right now?”

“Do you dislike the idea?”

How chilling. It sounded like an ordinary question… yet there was something dangerous about the atmosphere.

“I only asked because I was so happy it didn’t feel real. Let’s go immediately!”

Pendrick instantly donned the [Mask of Whimsy], transforming into the gray orc Dmirik before bowing deeply.

As expected of someone with monstrous social skills.

“Mek. We’re going to the training district.”

“…Do whatever you want.”

After Huztis dragged Pendrick away… Mek snorted with amusement and took a carrot from his pocket, putting it in his mouth.

Perhaps because there were children around, he’d commendably decided to stop smoking whenever he came to see me.

Crunch.

Taking a bite of the carrot, Mek spoke while chewing.

“Thank you. Thanks to you, I managed to stop my father before he ran himself off a cliff.”

“It was nothing.”

“You don’t actually believe that, do you?”

“Actually, I think it was an incredible achievement. Defeating the invincible Jerix… I’m truly amazing. Would you pat my butt?”

As I turned around, Mek burst into laughter and walked over to sit by the pond.

As expected of the Cunning Sage. Rather than refusing outright and making me sad, he’d simply ignored the request altogether.

“Since you accomplished something incredible, I’ll let it slide that you pretended to be my lover. But next time you’re planning something like that, tell me beforehand.”

I knew Mek wouldn’t be offended.

“Like you, I’d endure anything to achieve my goals. I’d gladly cooperate however you need.”

If it meant stopping Jerix, Mek really was the sort of goblin who would’ve willingly accepted even bearing my child.

If he’d insisted on only safe and moderate methods, he never would’ve earned the title Cunning Sage in the first place.

“Karr, I heard the chairman hired you?”

“That’s right. We haven’t settled on a specific reward yet, but I’m sure he won’t disappoint me.”

“Of course not. Our chairman’s excellent at his job. As long as you don’t make unreasonable demands, he’ll give you just about anything.”

“Ah. That’s a little disappointing.”

“Why?”

“I was planning to make the unreasonable request of asking for ‘Mek,’ the future of the Association, as my reward.”

As I winked while stepping closer, Mek chuckled and bit into his carrot.

“Heheh. That’s why you’re fun. You’re way more confusing than ordinary humans.”

“…Did you just say confusing?”

I immediately shortened the lower half of [Sky Invader], placing my hand on the chain tattoo around my thigh.

“Lord Mek! Okail is waiting for you. Have you considered converting? He’s more chaotic than any other deity, you know.”

“…I’ll pass on the Evil God.”

Clank!

“A revelation from Okail? What did he say?”

“He says he likes you even more because you refused.”

“…Why?”

“Proud people who eventually come around are more attractive than those who surrender immediately.”

“…I gave the wrong answer.”

Mek shook his head slightly before beckoning.

“Anyway, put your clothes back the way they were.”

“My irresistible charm must have troubled you. My apologies.”

[Half-Elf Survival Techniques] had the passive effect of seducing people according to one’s Charm stat.

I had become a sinful half-elf whose mere existence inevitably caused emotional suffering to countless people regardless of gender or race.

“…That’s not it. There’s somewhere we need to go.”

“You’re changing the subject because you’re embarrassed. I understand.”

When I lengthened the lower half of [Sky Invader] again, only then did Mek continue chewing his carrot while gesturing.

“The chairman wants to see you. Come on.”

“Is this where we’ll decide both the tournament prize and the reward for the request?”

“Probably. Our chairman’s pathologically lacking in motivation and concentration. He wouldn’t bother calling you twice when he can settle everything at once.”

The goblin known as the Sage grinned.

“When you meet the chairman, make use of your specialty and keep throwing out the most shocking things you can think of. If you keep startling him enough to drive away his laziness, he’ll shower you with rewards beyond your expectations.”

“Thank you for the useful advice. Ufufufu… Just wait.”

A sinister smile befitting a cultist spread across my face.

“I’ll show you what truly counts as something shocking.”

 

***

 

“…Huh?”

Chairman Blackbeak dropped the long pipe from his mouth.

“Ah, that came out a little disorganized. Let me explain it more clearly.”

Smiling brightly, I continued.

“To put it simply, as payment for completing your request… I would like to become a public asset of the Interracial Association, available for every Association member to use however they wish.”