Your Majesty, Dinner Is Ready. Chapter 218 - Won't You Come to Me Instead?

Chapter 218: Won’t You Come to Me Instead?

 

Odilon Brites.

There were only three people in the entire world whom the Young Master, who distrusted every living being without exception, trusted completely, without even the slightest hint of suspicion.

His bodyguard secretary, Rosalia.

His butler, Sergius.

His maid and cook, Charlotte.

His own parents… were not included on that list.

Even from my perspective, as someone unrelated by blood, it seemed like an entirely reasonable lack of trust.

“Kyaaaaah!”

Inside the dining room of Odilon’s mansion.

Odilon’s mother, Michelle, slammed her wine glass down onto the completely shattered dining table and let out a long sigh of satisfaction.

“As expected… nothing beats Deep Well!”

Lying sprawled across the floor in a drunken stupor, there wasn’t the slightest trace of dignity befitting one of the Twelve Heroes.

Bang! Bang! Bang!

After giggling to herself for a while, Michelle suddenly grabbed one of the broken table legs and repeatedly pounded it against the wall.

“Charlotteee! Forget the cooking and get over here to pour me another drink!!”

Her shouting and racket were so loud that, had this not been a detached house, the neighbors would’ve probably shown up with clubs in hand over the noise.

Even at the drinking parties of the dwarves from the Eastern Continent, people who caused this much trouble while drunk were rare.

“Where is the butler?”

As I peered into the dining room, Odilon frowned.

“Mother sent him to District Two on an errand.”

“All the way there?”

“She kept demanding premium liquor that can’t easily be found in District Six.”

He sighed.

“He hasn’t come back for three days now….”

“I see.”

Michelle Brites. The greatest headache of House Brites… was an incurable drunkard.

Blackbeak enjoyed drinking quite a bit himself, but compared to Michelle, our Godfather could practically be called the guardian of healthy drinking culture.

“How much alcohol do you still have left in the mansion?”

“The bottle of Deep Well Mother that is being drunk right now is the last one.”

“…This is an emergency.”

I swallowed hard.

The tension I felt now was even greater than when I’d confronted Jerix during the Interracial Grand Harmony Tournament.

“Cultist Karr.”

Odilon looked genuinely relieved.

“I’m truly glad you came….”

“My apologies.”

I lowered my head.

“I should’ve returned sooner. I’d already heard before the tournament that Lady Michelle would be coming, yet I allowed myself to become too complacent.”

“No.”

Odilon shook his head.

“Don’t apologize. Mother’s rampages are no different from natural disasters.”

“…What exactly are you two talking about?”

Still clinging to me, Marlin poked me in the back while staring into the dining room.

“The Young Master is depending on you, and you’re speaking to him seriously instead of teasing him.”

She blinked.

“What on earth is happening?”

Astrimia whispered as well.

“If that’s the Young Master’s mother, then she’s Michelle, one of the Twelve Heroes, right? I’ve heard her reputation isn’t particularly good despite her abilities…”

“Not particularly good?”

Odilon smiled bitterly.

“It seems you’ve only heard the greatly watered-down rumors spread through our family’s influence.”

He looked toward the dining room.

“Mother is an assassin so exceptional that even Rosalia, as she is now, can’t compare.”

Then he quietly added,

“…And to be honest, she’s actually calmer while she’s drunk.”

[Mythical Egocentrism]. 

A penalty trait that reflected Michelle’s personality… someone who always did exactly as she pleased, without the slightest concern for anyone else’s feelings.

Normally, she was practically a walking disaster. But while intoxicated, she became comparatively well-behaved.

“…This is ‘well-behaved?'”

Marlin stared back into the dining room.

“Heeeey, Charlotteee! How long are you planning to stay cooped up in that kitchen?!”

Crash!

Craaaack!

The already-destroyed dining table finally collapsed completely, as though it had been finished off.

More wine glasses and dishes were sacrificed, shattering into countless pieces.

“…What happens when she sobers up?”

At Marlin’s question, Odilon slowly took out [Comforter] and answered.

“The very first person she sees…”

He spoke matter-of-factly.

“…will end up half dead. That already happened to someone two days ago.”

“…What?”

“Look carefully in the corner of the dining room.”

“…Ah!”

Marlin instinctively stepped backward.

Her tail stiffened.

In the corner of the dining room, amid scattered dishes, wine bottles, and piles of trash… lay the body of the horse beastman Brownmane…  formerly the vice guildmaster of the Hyena Guild, whom I’d turned into a self-aware undead in [Trial Sewer].

His torso had been neatly divided into roughly seventeen separate pieces.

“…Madam.”

Brownmane’s head, discarded in the corner, quietly spoke.

“…Excessive drinking is bad for your hea–”

Slice.

Michelle casually waved one hand. Brownmane’s head was split in half vertically.

Since he was undead anyway, he could simply be revived later after receiving a generous amount of [Death · Flame · Transformation]

So there was no problem.

“…I didn’t even see her move.”

Pendrick’s eyes widened.

Brightfeather, whose [Fear of the Unfamiliar] had triggered, slowly backed away.

“…Cultist Karr.”

The Young Master’s trembling hand raised [Comforter] toward his mouth.

Thud.

Yet even that failed. His strength had completely left him, and the pipe slipped from his hand onto the floor.

“Can you resolve this situation?”

“Of course.”

I picked up [Comforter] and gently placed it into Odilon’s mouth.

“Just leave everything to me.”

Then, I entered the demon’s den that reeked of alcohol.

“Allow me to demonstrate the secret to becoming close with a powerful person who possesses an aggressive temperament.”

 

***

 

Charlotte emerged from the kitchen carrying a steaming octopus dish.

‘…Hm?’

Her eyes met those of the half-elf cultist, who seemed to have arrived only moments ago.

Karr winked at her, then calmly approached Michelle.

“Lady Michelle.”

“…Hm?”

Michelle, who had been lying on the floor grinning to herself, turned to look at him.

“Greetings.”

He smiled.

“I am–”

Before he could finish, the frail half-elf’s body was suddenly yanked toward the ceiling.

Dangling helplessly in midair, his neck was tightly constricted by a thin thread.

“Who are you?”

Michelle clenched one hand into a fist, casually examining the cultist.

Then… her face twisted into a deep frown.

“Wait… What the hell? You’re a damn cultist?”

Creeeak.

The thread tightened even further around Karr’s throat.

“…Hng.”

He was obviously in excruciating pain.

Yet the half-elf… the victim… merely smiled.

‘He really does enjoy pain…’

Even though Karr could very well die, Charlotte wasn’t worried in the slightest.

Instead, she found it fascinating to witness firsthand the peculiar disposition she’d only heard about.

“Charlotte!”

Michelle glared.

“Why the hell is this filthy cultist crawling around inside my house?”

“He’s not just any cultist. He’s the Young Master’s–”

“…Hey.”

Crash!

The cooking pot split cleanly in half. The delicious octopus dish spilled across the floor.

“I don’t need excuses.”

Michelle’s voice turned cold.

“Apologize… I’ve told you over and over again. How have you still failed to learn something so basic?”

“……”

Charlotte silently began cleaning the ruined meal.

This happened so often that she no longer even felt angry.

Perhaps because Charlotte gave no response, Michelle became even more irritated.

BOOOOM!

The thread strangling Karr suddenly roared, violently carving into his flesh.

Michelle’s primary assassination Mystery… [Instant Execution: Hanging].

“Didn’t I tell you I hate cultists and dark mages? Or did you know and let him in anyway?”

“Ah…”

Charlotte sighed.

“Here we go again.”

“……”

A fork rolled across the floor… then shot toward her.

The throwing technique was frighteningly lethal.

Thunk!

Charlotte casually blocked it with a spinning kick.

She caught the rebounding fork, then looked toward Karr.

“Lord Karr. Are you alright?”

“Uooo… oooo….”

“Oh, come now.”

Charlotte blinked.

“You don’t seem ‘that’ troubled… Are you mocking me?”

Slice.

The sound of sudden separation echoed through the room.

Karr’s head and body detached cleanly from one another, falling to the floor. Cultist Karr… died.

“Charlotte.”

“……”

“Charlotte.”

Michelle’s voice sharpened.

“Don’t make me call your name a third time.”

“…Yes.”

“Bring me that bastard’s head.”

Charlotte hesitated briefly, then carefully picked up Karr’s severed head and presented it to Michelle.

“Let’s see what this little bas–”

Michelle suddenly stopped speaking. She stared fixedly at Karr’s face.

Like every corpse struck by sudden death, the half-elf’s expression was empty.

Then… he winked.

“…Why are you alive?”

Bzzzt!

Karr’s head transformed into black lightning, returned to the body lying on the floor, and seamlessly reattached itself.

Cultist Karr… revived.

“Greetings.”

Rising slowly like an undead, Karr bowed politely with a bright smile.

A far more refreshing expression than his usual emotionless face.

“Allow me to introduce myself properly. I’m Karr, a half-elf and captain of the Moonlight Expedition founded by Young Master Odilon–”

“Shut up.”

Michelle strode over, roughly grabbed Karr by the neck, and looked him over.

“How did you come back to life?”

“I’m just rather durable.”

“…So you’re one of those cockroach-like cultists that refuses to die?”

Michelle grimaced and shook her head.

Comparing a person to a cockroach. Perhaps because of the harsh insult… and the tremendous killing intent… the half-elf’s complexion actually looked noticeably brighter.

“Whatever.”

Michelle tightened her grip.

“If you don’t want to die until you ‘wish’ you were dead…”

She sneered.

“Get on all fours and crawl like a dog.”

“……”

Karr thought seriously for a moment.

Then… he slowly shook his head.

“Please don’t be so angry.”

Immediately afterward, his appearance changed.

Every physical feature remained exactly the same… except for his body shape and sex.

“……!”

Michelle, who’d looked ready to strangle him to death only moments before, flinched.

Taking advantage of the slight loosening of her grip, the beautiful half-elf gently took Michelle’s hand in both of hers, carefully removed it from her neck, then stepped one pace closer.

“…W-wait.”

As the distance closed, Michelle unconsciously took two steps backward.

“…Huh?”

From behind, I heard the Young Master sharply inhale.

It was only natural.

This was undoubtedly the first time in his life he’d ever seen his own mother retreat.

Meanwhile, Charlotte remained perfectly calm.

‘…As expected. Lord Karr already knows everything.’

Charlotte was the maid whom Michelle had forcibly dragged along with her when she’d been exiled to her villa in District Six.

Her exceptional cooking was the official reason. But there had always been another reason as well.

“Excuse me~?”

Karr looked Michelle straight in the eye as he steadily approached.

Then, breaking into a radiant smile, he clung tightly to the unruly madam.

“Big Sis Michelleee!”

“…Nngh.”

Michelle instantly became as meek as a lamb, squeezing her eyes shut.

Her already flushed face from drinking turned as red as a tomato.

“You know…”

Karr leaned close to her ear.

Mixing his words with warm breaths, he whispered softly,

“Wouldn’t you leave that man behind…”

His voice was sweet.

“…and come to me instead? The two of you don’t even love each other that much anyway….”

“……”

Michelle continued trembling all over.

Then she gently pushed Karr away by the shoulders.

“Sh-Should I go kill that bastard?”

“…You’re going to leave me behind?”

The beautiful half-elf lowered his head sadly.

“No!”

Michelle frantically waved both arms.

“Of course not!”

The beautiful half-elf immediately slipped into her embrace.

Remaining pressed tightly against her, he simply smiled contentedly for a while.

Then he quietly asked,

“…Would you like to go upstairs to your room?”

“……!”

Michelle’s body shuddered violently.

Just as she was about to lift the beautiful half-elf into her arms…

“……”

Rosalia suddenly emerged from Karr’s shadow.

With the Crimson Death Rose, she scattered white poison into the air.

A sleeping poison.

Not an ordinary amount, either. It was enough to keep an average person unconscious for at least an entire month.

“Ro… sa…!”

No matter how great a Hero was, someone already thoroughly intoxicated couldn’t resist poison.

Michelle staggered unsteadily… then collapsed face-first onto the floor.

“…That was a close one.”

Karr gently pushed Michelle’s unconscious body off of himself, then gave Rosalia a thumbs-up.

Rosalia nodded vigorously, her voice filled with delight.

“Little Brother…”

She smiled.

“You’re… the best. The best. The best.”