Struggle Chapter 12

“Bring up the plum tea. The young master might get indigestion.”

You’re the one who made him that way. The eunuch only grumbled internally. He did not let it show on his face.

“I won’t get indigestion.”

“We shall see. For someone who catches a cold even in summer, I find that hard to believe.”

“…At what age does one become like that?”

“Become like that, you say.”

Taerok pressed down on Nanyoung’s nose, wiped it clean thoroughly, and then tossed the cloth into the basin. With his face softly puffed up, Nanyoung asked again.

“Like you, uncle. I want to become a man like you.”

The eunuch Sim Eung, who was just entering, wore a complicated expression. Regardless of Taerok’s disposition or reputation, he was indeed someone admirable even in the eyes of men. It was not at all strange to harbor admiration for him. Even the eunuch, who had been stripped of the male physical characteristics, could understand Nanyoung’s feelings completely, a hundred times over.

However, Sim Eung also knew. Anyone could see that Nanyoung could not become a man like Taerok.

“You, nephew, should grow up just as you are. What use is it to resemble me? Do you wish to grow old a man unable to marry, like me?”

“But you will… get married.”

‘Even if you, sir, postpone the marriage, I am fine with it.’

He recalled the words of his betrothed, whose true feelings were unreadable. Taerok did not answer.

“More importantly, I heard that you, nephew, will be invested as a prince.”

Nanyoung was now six years old. It was early, but not excessively so. The king had personally informed Taerok of the news that he would be made a Grand Prince. He asked Taerok if there was a good title he had in mind, and Taerok said he would think about it. When Taerok asked if it would be best for His Majesty to bestow it, the king replied,

‘Nanyoung has been following you around quite a lot lately. Wouldn’t he be pleased if it was something his favorite uncle thought of?’

“Is there a character you like?”

“A character I like?”

Nanyoung fell deep into thought for a moment before soon speaking.

“Tae (太), Sook (淑), Rok (綠), Heon (憲)!”

Originally, a Grand Prince’s title was taken from the fiefdom granted to him, but listening to the king’s words, it seemed that would not be the case this time. So he had asked, and unexpected characters had come out. For a young child to know, ‘Tae’ and ‘Rok’ were easy, but the others were difficult characters.

However, for Taerok, the appearance of ‘Tae’ and ‘Rok’ was even more unexpected.

“Coincidentally, the character from my name is in there, no? Though the meaning differs somewhat.”

“A character from your name, uncle? It’s a coincidence!”

At the immediate reply without hesitation, Taerok gave a wry smile. Then he lightly pinched Nanyoung’s chubby cheek.

“You knew full well. How can someone soon to be invested as a prince tell such a brazen lie.”

To gloss over the situation, Nanyoung grinned, Heh…

“It is a coincidence.”

Nanyoung answered with a mumbling pronunciation.

“It is a coincidence. Still, it is my true heart.”

For an instant, the cheek he held felt heavy, and Taerok ended up releasing his hand.

He only humored the rumors that ‘That cold-blooded Lee Taerok seems to have a soft spot for his nephew’ because he found them amusing. Such sincerity was burdensome.

Taerok rose from his seat.

“Congratulations on your investiture.”

Nanyoung stood up as well. Taerok lightly pressed down on the small, slender shoulder. Though he pressed only very slightly, Nanyoung sank back down into his seat.

“You will become a proper member of the royal family. It is a position that is lonely, requires endless self-proof, and yet has no answer.”

“Uncle…?”

He felt a little sorry. Taerok mocked himself, thinking that he apparently still had a shred of conscience left. Having been about to turn away, Taerok leaned back towards Nanyoung.

“Still, from the monsters I conceive of, I shall protect you, nephew. Since you say you like the character of my name, making at least this much of a promise is the duty of an elder, is it not?”

Nanyoung could not understand Taerok’s words. He was that young.

Taerok turned and came out. He told the eunuch that he would not enter the palace until the end of the month. The Grain in Ear season had only just passed. The end of the month was still far off.

“The Young master Grand Prince will be disappointed.”

“Nanyoung may be, but you certainly won’t be. I’ll be off now.”

Not even realizing he had casually called Nanyoung by name, Taerok stepped down onto the stone step.

The season of sowing seeds to begin the year’s farming. What was sown in Taerok—was it a sliver of conscience, or a bit of humanity? One cannot know until it grows. For Taerok was no farmer.

Just before the Summer Solstice, on Nanyoung’s birthday, Nanyoung was invested as a prince. A plot of land, modest yet sunny, a prime piece that had never suffered flood or drought, was granted as his fief. Taking the name of that land, the title ‘Heonui’ was bestowed. Coincidentally, it contained the character he liked.

Taerok sent a single gift to Nanyoung’s residence. It was a white folding fan, crafted from finely shaved sedge and chosen sheets of quality paper. The weather happened to be hot. Nanyoung repeatedly opened and closed the fan. He folded it a little and opened it wide, opened it wide and folded it a little. On the white paper, butterflies and orchids were drawn. Nanyoung traced the drawing before unfolding the accompanying letter.

𝓣𝓱𝓲𝓼 𝓾𝓷𝓬𝓵𝓮 𝓸𝓯 𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓻𝓼 𝓲𝓼 𝓭𝓮𝓬𝓮𝓷𝓽 𝓪𝓽 𝓼𝔀𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓪 𝓼𝔀𝓸𝓻𝓭 𝓫𝓾𝓽 𝓱𝓪𝓼 𝓷𝓸 𝓽𝓪𝓵𝓮𝓷𝓽 𝓯𝓸𝓻 𝔀𝓲𝓮𝓵𝓭𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓪 𝓫𝓻𝓾𝓼𝓱, 𝓼𝓸 𝓹𝓵𝓮𝓪𝓼𝓮 𝓾𝓷𝓭𝓮𝓻𝓼𝓽𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓬𝓵𝓾𝓶𝓼𝔂 𝓹𝓪𝓲𝓷𝓽𝓲𝓷𝓰, 𝓷𝓮𝓹𝓱𝓮𝔀.

𝓒𝓸𝓷𝓰𝓻𝓪𝓽𝓾𝓵𝓪𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷𝓼 𝓸𝓷 𝓯𝓲𝓷𝓪𝓵𝓵𝔂 𝓫𝓮𝓬𝓸𝓶𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓪 𝓖𝓻𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓟𝓻𝓲𝓷𝓬𝓮.

He said he had no talent for wielding a brush, but that was a lie. Uncle was telling a lie again. Just the bold handwriting and the rough, unhesitating finishing strokes alone seemed to paint a picture of Taerok. Even though Nanyoung had never actually seen him sit at a desk and hold a brush.

Nanyoung carefully stroked the letter before pouting his lips.

“It’s been well over a month… He could congratulate me in person…”

If Taerok had heard this, he might have frowned, thinking it typical of a child who had only ever been loved.

But let him. He didn’t come anyway.

No longer the young master but now an established Grand Prince, Nanyoung was nonetheless gloomy. Was this the loneliness of becoming a royal relative that uncle had spoken of? If so, he seemed to be grasping loneliness quite early. His interactions with peers were extremely limited, so he had no one to ask and could only keep it bottled up inside.

Still, when uncle came, he would ask him at least once. Is this what you meant by loneliness? For uncle was a Grand Prince and a royal relative just like him, and had been the Crown Prince’s younger brother.

∞ ∞ ∞

At the age of eight, Grand Prince Heonui, Nanyoung, entered the Royal Academy (Jonghak). At the Royal Academy were children born to the king’s princes and princesses who did not live within the palace. Among them, Nanyoung was the youngest and smallest.

There were no children of the Grand Prince. That was because Taerok still had not married. He told them not to gossip as he had a betrothed, but it was obvious that the Office of the Royal Clan and the Ministry of Rites disapproved of and worried about Taerok. Taerok, as if to prove something, made the excuse that he had no time for it as he traveled between countries as an envoy.

Nanyoung knew very well that it was an excuse. If he truly had no time, Taerok would have stopped teaching him. Yet Taerok was still teaching Nanyoung; in comparison, Nanyoung’s swordsmanship was still terrible; he still fell ill often; and towards such a Nanyoung, Taerok did not cease his mischievous jokes.

“Forget the tiger; I wonder if you could even catch a deer.”

“Uncle, I can hear you perfectly well….”

Nanyoung murmured gloomily.

It had been since this spring that he was told to try drawing the bowstring. With the day of his investiture two years ago approaching, Nanyoung still could not even fully draw the bowstring. Even though it was a wooden bow at that.

Taerok approached. Taerok set aside his own bow that he had been using, took his stance, and shot a single arrow. Seeing it, Nanyoung’s mouth dropped open, Huh. It was flawlessly beautiful. As if, without Nanyoung having caught up in anything, uncle had once again gone far ahead alone.

Yet, having mesmerized his nephew again, Taerok was indifferent. He merely threw out a short piece of advice.

“Isn’t it because your posture has broken down?”

Taerok had not changed from when they first met. He was still curt with Nanyoung, and occasionally, as if on a whim, gentle. Though if there was a change, it was that the number of jokes he made had increased slightly, just very slightly.

“An elder is demonstrating for you, and you are lost in other thoughts. Is that how they teach you at the Royal Academy?”

“…No, sir.”

As Nanyoung shook his head, Taerok released the bowstring. Taerok’s target was a daunting distance away. Far off in the distance, a person standing beside the target waved a flag to signal it was a hit.

“Or is the Royal Academy not interesting to you?”