Struggle Chapter 13

Taerok nocked another arrow and asked. Nanyoung wished that when asking such things, he would please look at him. But Taerok was a lukewarm uncle. Neither warm nor entirely cold.

‘Still, uncle is fond of you.’

His elder brother, the Crown Prince, treated him well, but very occasionally, on days when he was scolded extremely harshly or gave a wrong answer to an exam question in the presence of His Majesty the King, he would tack on that remark at the end of his grumbling.

Nanyoung felt somewhat wronged. Because uncle had never been fond of him. Growing up, that had only become more certain. Even at only eight years old, he knew that uncle simply spent a little more time with him than others did; it wasn’t that he was fond of him.

At the age of eight, Nanyoung was at an age ripe with desires.

“You’re not concentrating.”

Taerok spoke.

“And uncle asked you a question. Whether the Royal Academy is not enjoyable.”

“…It is enjoyable.”

“That sounds like a lie.”

“It truly is enjoyable!”

Nanyoung cried out urgently, as if making an excuse.

“They are all older than me… but still, learning together is good.”

Taerok recalled in his mind his half-siblings, with whom he had never been particularly close even when growing up together in the palace. He had been distant even with those siblings, so there was no way he would have any interest in their children. Only a vague, blurry image of childish forms came to mind.

“Is there someone bothering you?”

“No. There is not.”

“Even as a Grand Prince, you can still be bullied. I won’t scold you for speaking honestly.”

Though he might have something to say to those who did the bullying. No, he might even do something about it.

Taerok thought that if he uttered such words without any thought of the pranks he himself rarely played on Nanyoung, he would seem childish.

Unaware of Taerok’s inner thoughts, Nanyoung instead asked.

“Uncle, have you ever been bullied?”

Saon, who had come to fill the quiver, shook his head, Oh dear.

“Sir, the uncle standing here is not someone who would suffer something like bullying.”

“Saon, you speak too many unnecessary words.”

“Is it not a true statement?”

Taerok let out a breath that was almost a sigh, Hm, and shot the bow again. The flag waved once more.

“Young master Grand Prince, if there is anyone who bothers you, be sure to ask their name. Remember it and come tattle to uncle.”

“Teaching a Grand Prince fine things, I see.”

Even under Taerok’s rebuke, Saon’s mouth was undaunted.

“You never know. Uncle might remember and give them a thorough scolding.”

Give them a scolding, indeed… Taerok, who just moments ago had thought he might do something to those bullies, felt a chill when someone else actually egged him on.

Nanyoung glanced at Taerok and then shook his head. It wasn’t that he was reading Taerok’s mood; he was simply curious about his uncle’s expression.

“There is no need for anyone to scold them on my behalf. I am still a Grand Prince… I will manage my own affairs well, and there will be no cause to trouble you, uncle.”

Even at eight, his manner of speaking had become quite dignified. And his thinking, a little, too. Saon looked slightly surprised for a moment before chuckling, Heh-heh.

“My, His Majesty is truly blessed with great virtue.”

“You’ll die young if you keep running your mouth so carelessly.”

“Who says I run my mouth carelessly, sir!”

“I do. Don’t make me end my close friend’s life with my own hands; get lost.”

This time, Nanyoung’s eyes widened slightly. It was because he had never seen his uncle speak such words before. It was the first moment Nanyoung realized, ever so slightly, just how much his uncle had chosen his words carefully in front of him until now.

“I’d like it if you’d gradually tell me why you’ve been so gloomy the whole time, nephew.”

“Does it concern you…?”

“If I said it irritates me, it might hurt your feelings, so let’s say it concerns me.”

Nanyoung immediately broke into a broad, silly grin. He was a good-natured child without any twistedness. One might expect a child with such a weak body, who often took to his bed, to have a somewhat sulky disposition, but he had none of that.

Out of a habit from childhood, Nanyoung grabbed hold of Taerok’s hem and stood beside him. Though he had grown a little now, his height was barely half of Taerok’s, so it did not look strange.

“I want to become like you, uncle, but it seems so distant for me to become such a man, and that’s why.”

“That’s a dream you’ve mentioned before.”

“A dream, you say? Could you not call it a future for me?”

“It’s a dream. Meaning there are times when one must wake from it.”

It was just something a mere child said; he could have spoken a little more kindly, but he was mean. Taerok hung up his bow and turned to look at Nanyoung. His lips jutted out a good five inches. It brought to mind the tale of the monstrous bird with a tail five feet long and a beak five feet long. Taerok firmly pinched Nanyoung’s lips and then let them go.

“Each person has their own suitable place, their own way of growing, and their own capacity for it. You, nephew, will grow in a different way, so do not be impatient, and you don’t necessarily have to resemble me, do you?”

“But uncle, you are the most manly of all the men I have seen…”

Taerok lightly cast his gaze upward, then swallowed a sigh and lowered it.

“In your words, at least, you should say His Majesty the King is the foremost, should you not?”

“His Majesty is a noble gentleman, so as a gentleman, he is foremost.”

“Huh.”

Taerok laughed as if dumbfounded.

“You see? My nephew has found the place that suits him. You, nephew, are eloquent, so you can go as an envoy later on.”

At the word ‘envoy,’ Nanyoung’s eyes lit up. Then, as if he had been waiting for it, he poured out questions.

“An envoy? You mean the kind of thing you have done, uncle? What were the places you visited like? Is it true that the sky and earth are endless? I heard there are horses with humps on their backs; is that truly so?”

Regrettably, the things Nanyoung was asking about were of absolutely no interest to Taerok. He had seen a horse with a hump on its back, but was that really such an amazing thing? Was a child simply being a child, or were their interests truly this far apart? The thirteen-year age gap, which would never narrow, suddenly felt vividly distinct.

Since he was so curious, telling him about his experiences as an envoy or showing him the things he had brought back would likely please him greatly and satisfy his curiosity. However, even if he showed him the objects, he had no confidence that he could talk about them in a way Nanyoung would find enjoyable.

“…Are you that curious?”

“Yes!”

“Then it might be good for you to meet my betrothed.”

Why had he said that?

Taerok was himself flustered by the words that had suddenly slipped out. But Nanyoung’s eyes were already sparkling intensely. With such anticipation, it was awkward to say he had misspoken. It was a change in Taerok, who just a year ago would not have hesitated to say he had spoken wrongly.

“Your betrothed? You mean the lady who will become my aunt?”

“Yes. Though she did not accompany the envoy delegation, by coincidence, she was staying in the same region with her mother and maternal grandmother.”

They had not traveled together. He had only seen her once. Considering the cruelty of having let two years slip by in a position that was betrothed in name only, his conduct as a fiancé could be called abysmal. At this point, he was curious. Was it Nanok who wished to maintain this betrothal, which verged on insulting, or was it her father?

“That person will have better eloquence than I do.”

“But since you have not married, I cannot rashly invite her to my residence.”

“Then you, nephew, can simply come to my house.”

Oh no, what nonsense was this.

Only after the words were out did he realize his blunder. Even if the earlier remark could be dismissed as something one might say as a polite greeting, this proposal was truly unlike him. Saon, too, surprised by the words he could not believe Taerok had uttered, turned around sharply from organizing the bows.

But Nanyoung’s eyes sparkled beyond compare to cancel it now. A river of stars flowed in his eyes. His moist eyes glistened and shimmered.

“Really? Truly, may I come to your residence, uncle? Are you really inviting me?”

“…”

From behind Nanyoung, Saon, who had been organizing the bows, shook his head with a Tsk, tsk expression that said, ‘If you cancel now, he will cry quite thoroughly.’ Taerok felt a throbbing headache coming on. Nanyoung crying was even more troublesome. Nanyoung’s crying was not fussy; it was quiet. Yet those sobs had a persistence to them, fragile as the fluttering of a small bird’s breast, yet tenacious as the flapping of wings. To the point that even after leaving the palace, the sound of that crying seemed to ring in his ears like an auditory hallucination.

“…Very well. Come. However, you wouldn’t be unaware that it is proper etiquette to send a letter in advance to arrange a meeting before making the journey, would you, nephew, having advanced to the Royal Academy.”

“Of course not! I will also bring… a small gift for you, uncle.”