Struggle Chapter 141

Under the stream of water pouring down like a sudden shower, Nanyoung gradually became unable to think. Washed away by the water, his guilt and distracting thoughts were all swept clean.

Originally, sin is addictive by nature. You must not cross the line carelessly. Only the first time is difficult; everything after that is simple. Just as Lee Taerok had simply emptied Nanyoung’s mind like this.

Nanyoung wrapped his arms around Lee Taerok’s neck. He clung desperately. He had no intention of pushing himself inside the sick boy, but touching each other to relieve things would be fine. Lee Taerok lowered his hand. Usually, he had embraced Nanyoung as if driving him into a corner. His touch was sometimes so stern that it almost seemed like a slap, and he would peck at him like feeding a baby bird so that Nanyoung would swallow every bit of that sternness. But today, he was as gentle as a wave.

Lee Nanyoung’s body heated up easily, and Lee Taerok held his thing in his mouth with an attitude that seemed solely devoted to serving.

“Don’t think about anything.”

Just before Nanyoung climaxed, Taerok pushed his fingers inside him and whispered.

“It’s already too late.”

Where is this place? Didn’t we make hell our home and decide to live there forever? Is that promise mine alone? No way. If not with Lee Nanyoung, if it weren’t Lee Nanyoung, Lee Taerok wouldn’t have made this choice at all. He would have lived a life that was easier and simpler than anyone else’s, so terribly tediously.

You shook me up and then. You should have agonized over it sooner. No, we shouldn’t have met from the beginning. The paradox that is ours is that such a hypothesis is useless, since we are a relationship bound by blood.

“I know.”

Nanyoung answered in a shrill voice as he reached his climax.

“That’s why I’m scared.”

As if Nanyoung wouldn’t know that it’s irreversible.

To say now, let’s stop because it seems like a mistake, or this isn’t right. There are any number of trite words he could come up with. But even though he can, he doesn’t bring them to mind, nor does he speak them out loud. Because theirs is not a trite, conventional relationship.

What could be the reason that once you cross the line even once, everything else becomes easy? It is because, before crossing the line, you can never go back. Lee Nanyoung and Lee Taerok must live in this place. Neither of them can leave.

Modern AU Special Side Story. Episode 2

It wasn’t that Nanyoung deliberately avoided thinking about his parents after that. The bigger reason was that although the cold symptoms had improved, he hadn’t fully recovered and remained sick for a few more days after.

At least the symptoms didn’t worsen, thanks to Lee Taerok taking him straight away to get an injection. However, his throat was so swollen that he couldn’t eat properly, and his fever kept fluctuating. Naturally, he couldn’t go to school.

It was a strange thing, that every time he woke up from sleep, Lee Taerok was right before his eyes.

‘You’re not going to work?’

When he asked in a very hoarse voice, Lee Taerok would close the book he was reading and make Nanyoung drink water.

It was also Lee Taerok who washed and dried him while he was barely conscious.

There were no particular words, and even when Nanyoung asked a question occasionally, he didn’t answer.

Only once Nanyoung maintained a temperature of 36.8 to 37 degrees all day did he say this:

‘I think I’ll have to go into the office tomorrow.’

Nanyoung nodded, chewing the jelly that Taerok had put in the refrigerator.

‘I’ll be a bit busy for a while.’

It was because work had piled up, and the reason was that he couldn’t go to work because he was taking care of you. There were no such words. Lee Taerok doesn’t make excuses. About anything.

‘It’s dripping.’

Looking at the jelly about to drip from the spoon Nanyoung was holding, Taerok scooped up some porridge. Nanyoung was just getting sick of porridge by now. With a sulky expression, Nanyoung stirred the porridge around and around. Then Taerok also brought a bowl of porridge and sat down. He could eat something else, though…. Every time Nanyoung felt Lee Taerok’s consideration, the affection that was the foundation of that consideration, his whole body felt ticklish. It felt like being buried in pollen. And at the same time, he realized just how much of an adult he was. Affection that doesn’t boast of itself.

But at the same time, he also felt disappointed. He was unwavering the whole time, while Nanyoung worried that he only ever seemed like a child. How could Lee Taerok never waver even once? As if he hadn’t hesitated for a moment even when choosing Nanyoung.

Nanyoung let out a sigh.

The more you love someone, the more you should want to see only their good sides, so why does this heart also want to see the lover’s weak and shaken sides?

∞ ∞ ∞

Lee Taerok stopped by to check on the house where his hyung-nim and his wife would be staying. He periodically used a cleaning service, but this time he put in extra effort to thoroughly clear everything out and arrange the furniture.

“How long did they say they would stay?”

It was strange that Lee Taerok, who usually didn’t ask again once he’d heard something, kept asking about the length of his hyung-nim and his wife’s stay in Korea over and over, so the secretary tilted his head. Yet he answered without objection.

“They said one month.”

“Could it get longer?”

“It seems possible.”

Lee Taerok, standing tall in the middle of the living room, put his hands on his waist and rubbed his forehead with his fingertips.

He somehow looks like he’s in a bad mood…. It was very Lee Taerok of him to instantly change the atmosphere without openly showing that he was displeased.

“We should make sure they have no inconveniences during their stay.”

Soon, he murmured as if talking to himself.

They are clearly an adult couple, born and raised in Korea, so what could there be to take care of separately? The secretary thought that his boss was unexpectedly deep in brotherly affection, yet sensed something that couldn’t be explained by that alone.

But it was hard to pinpoint exactly what.

He had always been a boss whose inner thoughts were difficult to read, but in work, he was an extremely simple and efficient person. Since when had he become more complicated like this?

The secretary, who was reflecting back, murmured a small, “Ah.”

It was from then. From when he started living with his nephew.

“That’s enough.”

While the secretary was lost in a sense of déjà vu, Lee Taerok turned around.

“It’s sufficient. Just take good care of them.”

Standing behind his boss who was about to leave the house, the secretary ended up saying this without realizing it.

“It seems you have a really good relationship with your family.”

Ah, a mistake.

But a word once spoken cannot be taken back. The secretary added, as if making an excuse.

“It’s truly nice to see. You set a great example.”

So that’s why the executive director went on and on last time. He finally understood the horrifyingly awkward situation in the elevator.

Lee Taerok turned his head and gazed steadily at his secretary.

“That’s strange. Saying something like that.”

He wondered if there was a hidden barb in the words, but it also seemed like just a casual remark.

“It’s not a bad thing.”

His boss’s reaction was so nonchalant that the secretary almost thought, ‘Am I just off my game today?’ The man seemed to have nothing weighing on his conscience.

Well, indeed. Isn’t it obvious what chaebol families would have weighing on them? The secretary shook off the thought without even having time to deeply examine which direction his sense of déjà vu had come from. Thinking, well, there are countless chaebol families with bad relationships, so if they’re good, isn’t that a good thing?

∞ ∞ ∞

Despite everything, within Nanyoung’s narrow circle of relationships, Sim Suhwan was the only one he had been friends with for a long time and deeply. Sim Suhwan knew this fact too. He also sometimes felt like being spiteful, but when Lee Nanyoung looked at his spite with those clear eyes and showed no reaction at all, he would quickly become embarrassed and ashamed and end up doing whatever Nanyoung wanted.

‘What is it about him that makes me always get pushed around?’

That was Sim Suhwan’s biggest curiosity.

Suhwan might not know, but fortunately, that question isn’t his alone. Because Lee Taerok had also often thought about it.

“No.”

Anyway, Sim Suhwan spoke sternly, avoiding eye contact so as not to be swayed by Nanyoung again this time.

“You live alone anyway. I won’t ask you to just let me sleep over. I’ll pay rent and do the housework too.”

That was certainly a tempting offer.

But overly generous rewards always come with a catch. Sim Suhwan glared sideways at Nanyoung.

“If you’re going to do that, just go to a hotel. Why are you like this? Leaving a hotel-like house of your uncle’s aside.”

The house of his uncle that he had visited twice was so impressive that it made him realize anew that Nanyoung was a kid from a wealthy family. It felt like the home of an adult man who had stepped right out of a drama or movie. Just like Nanyoung, from the moment Sim Suhwan saw Lee Taerok, he had decided he wanted to become a man like that. Of course, it wasn’t easy, and every single day was a series of failures.

“It’s because I can’t be there.”

Nanyoung murmured softly.