Struggle Chapter 38

Suhwan was merely somewhat lazy and lacked ambition, but he was clever. He was especially gifted with words. His father would click his tongue, saying that with such eloquence he should have been a merchant, that he had been born into the wrong station. And he even possessed an audacious boldness, enough to smoothly deflect even such scolding from his father.

Yet this time, he could say nothing. For a fleeting moment, his speech was completely stopped. What on earth is this grand prince saying… .

Nanyoung was certainly twenty, but due to his appearance, his physique, and the impression Suhwan had held from their first meeting, Suhwan had been treating Nanyoung more like a younger brother. It meant he was handling him with care, even if it did not appear so. That reasoning and the secret, lewd interest Suhwan inwardly harbored had been coexisting well—until Nanyoung crossed the line first.

Sim Suhwan’s attitude, which had been extremely playful just moments before, shifted completely.

“What is the meaning of that, young master?”

Suhwan asked, his voice lowered though he was smiling.

“I am afraid I do not quite grasp… what your intent is.”

“Do not pretend you do not know.”

Unexpectedly, Nanyoung’s response was bold.

“Men kissing and embracing one another spread like a fashion, and His Majesty the King commanded it be suppressed—that was merely two years ago.”

“Oh my…. But of all the many people, why do you ask me of all people that….”

Well… because I have no one else I know. The only person close to me was my uncle, and now even my uncle has grown distant, leaving only you, Suhwan.

Not wanting to utter such feeble words, Nanyoung pressed his lips tightly shut.

His closed lips were a transparent red, like sansuyu berries. Suhwan’s eyes narrowed slightly before he soon took a step back. The hand that the two had been unknowingly holding until then finally fell away as well.

“If I had answered that I do know of sodomy, what was it you would have asked?”

Suhwan’s attitude as he asked this was considerably earnest.

“…”

“And have you also considered, young master, what would have happened if someone other than I had heard such a question from you?”

This time, it was Nanyoung who was pushed back.

Suhwan, too, was of large build. Not as much as Taerok, but still, taking after the Deputy Commander-in-Chief, he was of a grand and robust frame. Unaware that he was retreating, Nanyoung stepped backward and nearly struck his back against the bookshelf. The only reason he did not was that Suhwan caught his back.

“Be careful, young master.”

Was that an answer to his question, or concern for his back that had nearly struck the shelf… .

Up close, Suhwan bore not a single trace of the smile he usually showed Nanyoung.

“I… though I do not know if it is something to boast of, am quite popular among men who lust after men.”

At those words, Nanyoung abruptly shoved Suhwan’s chest away. Yet it was only Nanyoung’s strength, such as it was. Though not as skilled in archery or swordsmanship as his father the Deputy Commander-in-Chief, Suhwan was not one to be bested in strength or resilience anywhere; in truth, he had stepped back of his own will, not Nanyoung’s.

“My asking you was a mistake. Spend the time you use boasting of such things on holding a wedding ceremony instead!”

His face flushed bright red, Nanyoung shouted. Suhwan was about to let out a trailing, hazy laugh when Nanyoung, who had been storming out, turned back and pointed a finger sharply.

“No, rather, since a woman would be too good for you, if you are going to commit sodomy, then just live alone!”

“Huh… but I never said that I do it, young master!”

Suhwan shouted after Nanyoung, who was darting away as nimbly as a squirrel.

Even though Nanyoung surely must have heard, he did not look back.

Suhwan brushed off his clothes with a few pats to smooth out the wrinkles. And then he headed again toward the inner quarters. Using the servants who held a favorable impression of him, he found out exactly where Nanyoung was and stood before that door.

“Young master. Did you not say you would lend me the military strategy text?”

“…”

“A grand prince must not go back on his word, must he? Should you not set an example?”

“…”

“If this is how it is, the promise to escort you to Gokryang House at Lesser Heat….”

Rattle. The sliding door opened noisily. And through the gap, a book came flying out.

It was a rare book, hard to come by. Suhwan, crying out, hastily caught it. And when he raised his head, the door was already closed again.

Tucking the book under his arm as he left, Suhwan murmured to himself.

“What wind has blown through our fair young master? He ordinarily seems to have no interest in such carnal desires, and now suddenly it is a lamentable affair. Has the time come for him to take a wife?”

And then, after sinking deep into thought alone, Suhwan let out a derisive laugh once more.

“Or perhaps, even though several years have passed, he simply cannot accept that his elder brother has married….”

To Suhwan, Nanyoung had already become a presumptuous grand prince harboring feelings for his elder brother.

Even though it was the sort of imagining others would revile as disgusting, Suhwan did it without the slightest hesitation. For he merely had an interest in morality, but did not worship it.

“It matters not if he has a lust he cannot resolve alone, but if he tries to test it on me… I am no paragon of virtue who would restrain himself. I, that is.”

Grinning, Suhwan tossed the book into the air and caught it, quite unlike the careful way he had received it just before.

At that moment, the ground shook. Recognizing that the tremor was from the sound of horse hooves, Suhwan stepped aside. Other passersby strolling along also pressed their backs against walls and waited.

Before long, a group of men, all on horseback, appeared. Who rides a horse so dangerously on this narrow road? Suhwan raised a crooked glance. It was to check if the one leading the group was a face he knew.

“…”

As it happened, the man at the very front of the group was also looking at Suhwan. Whether he merely cast his gaze there or recognized him, it was hard to tell, but coincidentally, the two men were acquainted.

Suhwan slowly bowed his head. The man on horseback soon averted his eyes. There was not even a response to the greeting.

Only after the group had passed did Suhwan raise his head, letting out a low whistle. It was an act his father would have severely scolded as frivolous mischief, had he seen it.

“So that is his true face. As the rumors say, he seems to have cold blood indeed.”

The man at the front who had met his eyes was Lee Taerok. Grand Prince Baegan—cold even to his own family, affectionate only toward his one nephew—or rather, the Cold-Blooded Grand Prince.

“But even that rumor has become an old tale now. A rotten rumor nearly ten years old.”

Humming as if singing a song, Suhwan soon turned away.

Yet even with his back turned, the impression left by Lee Taerok’s blade-like eyes, his icy gaze, and his tightly closed lips that seemed as if they would never emit a single cry, would not fade in the slightest.

∞ ∞ ∞

Lesser Heat arrived. News of the palace no longer reached Nanyoung well now. He could have heard it if he wished. Particularly matters like the king’s health were bound to be hushed up, so it was not Nanyoung’s fault that he had followed Suhwan to the Deputy Commander-in-Chief’s Gokryang House.

Unaware of the circumstances within the palace walls, Nanyoung, who had been soaking his feet in the flowing stream, bent his waist deeply forward. He bent until his face could fit between his knees, and just as his hair was about to touch the water, Suhwan grasped Nanyoung’s shoulders and lifted him up.

“Young master!”

“…What, you startled me.”

“It is I who was startled! Why do you suddenly try to put your head into the water…?”

“In this position, no matter how hard I try, my face will not submerge in the water, so do not worry.”

“How can I not worry! If something were to happen to you while you are staying at our country villa, would my entire family not be as good as dead?”

“How could it be as good as dead….”

“Then is the life of the grand prince not more precious than all of ours combined? Here, eat this, young master. It is a delicacy.”

Though it may not be a delicacy to you, young master. So chattering, Suhwan held out a melon.

“…”

Nanyoung stared blankly at the melon.

How many years had it been? It was something he was seeing for the first time in a very long while. He had avoided it all this time. Ever since that day when he had that quarrel—if it could be called a quarrel—with his uncle.

With his feet still soaking in the cold water, Nanyoung accepted the brass dish. He gently scraped out the seeds with a spoon. Suhwan’s eyes grew round, and he asked.

“No, why do you scrape out that delicious part?”

“If I eat the seeds, my face itches and my lips swell….”

“Then you should have said so.”

Suhwan took the dish back from Nanyoung’s hands. He carefully scraped out the seeds and set them aside. Nanyoung chewed only the white flesh, like a sweet cucumber. Then, suddenly, he gave a small laugh.

“Do you know the saying that if you eat melon seeds, sprouts will grow in your belly?”