Struggle Chapter 47

The attendants who served Nanyoung arrived one after another at Taerok’s villa. Sim Eung first asked to be told which room Nanyoung was in. Had he sunk into the ground or risen into the sky—he had already spent half the day pacing frantically because of his master, who had suddenly vanished the moment night passed. Suhwan, the son of the villa’s owner who had come along saying he would attend the grand prince, remained silent no matter how much Sim Eung questioned him. He merely kept offering nothing but the vaguest of replies—His Highness will be well, presumably.

At this, Sim Eung wondered for the first time if this was why Lee Taerok set himself against meritorious subject families. He even entertained such an absurd thought—whether Suhwan was acting out, trusting in his father the Commander-General, who was treated practically as a meritorious subject himself even if only a junior meritorious subject.

And Suhwan had disappeared and then returned. Upon returning, he said that they must move to where the grand prince was staying, and that they should pack the luggage. Suhwan’s expression as he said this was so like that of a wretched loser that Sim Eung’s boiling rage subsided for a moment.

Even Sim Eung had not known that the place they arrived at after packing the luggage was the villa of another meritorious subject family, the Min clan, nor that the person staying there was Lee Taerok. Moreover, he had absolutely no idea that the place Nanyoung was staying was the innermost part of that villa, the large sarangbang. He had assumed that, as a guest, Nanyoung would at least be in a separate building.

The moment he saw Nanyoung lying down, occupying the master’s room, Sim Eung cried out, “Aigo!” and slumped down. Barely a night had passed, yet as if he had met with some mishap in the meantime, salt flowers had bloomed on Nanyoung’s lips, needle-like sweat beaded his skin, and his wrist was wrapped thickly in bandages.

“Did you go tumbling down a mountain?!”

“I-I do not know.”

The villa caretaker, who had been peeking in—was this a eunuch without his thing, he wondered—replied, startled by Sim Eung pressing him.

“No, then how did His Highness, who was perfectly fine yesterday, end up like this in a single night!”

“Truly, truly, I tell you I do not know, Elder…”

It was deeply awkward. He truly did not know. He was merely looking after this villa. If only someone would come and save him from this distress inflicted by the eunuch. Someone appeared to save that servant. At the same time, it was someone who could answer Sim Eung’s question.

“He went tumbling down a mountain.”

Taerok answered just as he was entering through the door. Sim Eung hastily made his courtesies. Taerok acted as if he did not see him and went to stand where he could look down at Nanyoung.

The fever had not gone down but simmered on stubbornly. It was not a high fever, but it was a lingering fever more than sufficient to debilitate a person.

“It seems he went for a night walk. Chasing after some dog that didn’t know its place.”

Although Sim Eung had long since fallen off the path to Chief Eunuch, he had still lived as a eunuch for decades and had been by the grand prince’s side for twelve years. He could easily glean from the circumstances that the dog Taerok referred to was not actually a dog, but Sim Suhwan.

Thanks to the servant who tactfully slipped away so that the high-ranking persons could speak, Sim Eung was able to ask.

“It seems Sim Suhwan went for a night walk with His Highness the Grand Prince.”

“Indeed. And it seems you had no idea your master had gone out.”

“…”

That was a somewhat unfair accusation. Sim Eung had truly not known Nanyoung had gone out. Because even Sim Eung, who had been staying in the room right next door, had not known that Nanyoung could slip out so quietly, deceiving people’s eyes and ears.

“However, if that is the case, then Sim Suhwan should have personally escorted His Highness the Grand Prince back—how is it that His Highness came to be here?”

“I brought him.”

“…”

“I happened to be wandering about like a dog myself.”

“I am overcome with awe…”

No, why the talk of dogs… Sim Eung openly revealed his awkwardness.

Over the years he had lived as a eunuch, Sim Eung had survived by his wits alone, and he felt that the atmosphere surrounding Taerok was prickly and sharp. Taerok’s choice of words was likewise so. He had known that Taerok’s manner of speech was deeply sardonic, but he had never said things like “dog” before.

Had the two grand princes quarreled? Sim Eung also knew that the two had had almost no interaction for the past four-plus years, nearly five. He had thought it was merely awkwardness that came with Nanyoung being grown up. But if so, what reason could there be for meeting suddenly and quarreling? No matter how he thought about it, it did not seem like the grand prince he served would do something that would suddenly so thoroughly displease his uncle.

“Attend your master well.”

Taerok, who had been looking down at Nanyoung the entire time during the lull in conversation and even as it continued, turned his body.

“And we shall return together. The physicians here are inadequate.”

“In that case, when do you plan to return…?”

“We will know once the fever goes down somewhat.”

Taerok rubbed his brow bone. Then he added.

“So you had better look after him well. If you do not, Lee Nanyoung’s wrist, unable to return to the capital for proper treatment, will worsen further.”

It was advice that sounded like a threat.

Sim Eung bowed his head deferentially, but a sudden strangeness came over him—had Taerok ever called him ‘Lee Nanyoung’ before?

∞ ∞ ∞

Nanyoung opened his eyes.

At first, he could not see well. When he blinked his flickering eyelids, Lee Taerok’s form appeared, and when he blinked again, someone gently wiped his eyelids with a damp cloth, and with a much clearer vision he discovered Sim Eung.

“…How did you get here?”

“If I do not accompany His Highness the Grand Prince to the place where he is staying, who else would accompany you? If you wished to take in the night breeze, you should have called for me…”

For a moment, Nanyoung’s heart sank, thinking Sim Eung had come to know everything that had happened that night, but seeing his expression filled with nothing but pity, he roughly guessed that he had only heard about the night walk. Still, out of fear that it might be otherwise, he swallowed dryly. To be certain, he hazarded a somewhat dangerous move.

“Sim Suhwan…?”

“Sim Suhwan remains at the villa. No, if His Highness the Grand Prince had fallen, he should have come even carrying you on his back. He is all height and build, but a truly useless man.”

So he doesn’t know… Nanyoung finally gave an awkward smile in relief. Not understanding the meaning of that smile, Sim Eung grumbled peevishly, asking what could be so pleasing.

“We shall return once the fever goes down, so please think only of recovering your health.”

“…There’s no need.”

At Sim Eung’s comfort, Nanyoung’s smile vanished as if washed away. At the words he muttered, turning his head away, Sim Eung’s eyes grew round and wide.

“I don’t need to get better. I’m fine with being sick like this forever.”

“Good heavens, what do you mean by that, Your Highness!”

“I… I am…”

Nanyoung’s eyes stung again.

The events that could never be buried because Taerok had said they were not a mistake came to mind. But what was more fearful than what had happened was the feelings that had been awakened. The feelings, once realized, began to wrap around Nanyoung’s entire body like wisteria vines, as if they had been holding their breath all this time. When these fully bloom, he would suffocate on their scent and die. Nanyoung was afraid. A secret he could not tell even Sim Eung—no, not anyone…

As tears slid down his eyes and pooled between his sight and the bridge of his nose, Nanyoung wiped them away roughly with his hand. Taerok had said that if his fever rose further here, he would summon Sim Suhwan. He was not the least bit afraid of Sim Suhwan coming, but he was afraid of what his uncle would do upon bringing him. The fact that he could not even imagine what that would be made Nanyoung even hold back his tears.

Watching the round back of Nanyoung’s head, Sim Eung chose his words by way of comfort. What came out at the end must have only been the worst possible choice.

“Still, is it not fortunate that your uncle, Grand Prince Baegan, happened to be there? Had you been more seriously injured, I would truly have died, Your Highness.”

At Sim Eung’s lament, Nanyoung turned his body entirely away. He turned his back. His heart pounded, thump thump. Sim Eung was a different being from Taerok. He was his guardian. Someone who had stayed by his side when he was lonely, a presence—if he dared say it—like a parent. And now he had a great secret from him. Originally, he had only had the secret about Min Nanok, but now an even greater secret had come into being.

“I’m going to sleep.”

Nanyoung spat out stubbornly. Then, though sleep would not come, he forcibly closed his eyes.

“I shall brew the decoction, so please close your eyes for a little while.”

Sim Eung soothed him in a gentle, measured voice. That voice tormented Nanyoung all the more. The vines that constricted his body from the outside and the thornbushes that grew rampant from within, piercing every part of him, coexisted.

He heard the sound of Sim Eung leaving.

“Uuh…”

Nanyoung curled up his body, letting out a moan of pain.