Struggle Chapter 7

Until now, Taerok had only ever called him by abstract titles that anyone else could substitute—”Young master” or “Your Highness”—but now he had called him properly by his name. Even if it was in a stern tone.

“Come here, Lee Nanyoung.”

Taerok at least knew that what he was doing now was ridiculous. This was not the way of the royal family. This affectionate and mischievous behavior was not Taerok’s way either.

But precisely because of that, it worked thoroughly on Nanyoung. Nanyoung slowly lifted his head from the eunuch’s robes and turned around. A string of clear mucus stretched from the eunuch’s robe and then snapped. Taerok frowned and inadvertently laughed.

“Uncle…”

Nanyoung approached Taerok with his arms outstretched. On the green robe of the eunuch, the stains from Nanyoung’s tears and snot remained in a darker shade of green. The eunuch was dumbfounded, and Taerok was flabbergasted. Distracted by the ridiculous state of that robe, Taerok found himself embracing Nanyoung, who had come with arms wide open. Even if it was nothing more than bending at the waist and awkwardly hugging the small back that clung to his legs.

“Don’t be angry… I won’t be impertinent either.”

“…Originally, Grand Princes are beings who have nothing to do except be impertinent.”

“Even so… I learned that you shouldn’t behave that way to family. I shouldn’t have done that to you, Uncle.”

“Is family that important to you?”

“Then is it not important to you?”

Nanyoung lifted his head and looked at Taerok. It was not important. To him, it held little meaning. But he could not confess that to that innocent face. Because he was suddenly seized by a premonition that if he did, this young, stubborn child—who was cherished and all the more lonely because of it—would cry for three days and nights. If he heard that wailing even once, he felt it would torment his ears even after he returned to the Grand Prince’s residence.

“Well. Let’s say it is.”

So Taerok glossed over it and patted Nanyoung’s back. Exactly three times. Then he peeled Nanyoung off, and placed the wooden sword back into his hands.

“Never throw away your weapon from your hand again. How foolish an act that was, I will tell you myself once Your Highness has grown a bit more and become sturdy enough to go hunting.”

“…Then are you promising to take me hunting?”

“How did it come to that? I didn’t say that. Your Highness, is it true that you receive praise from your teachers? You don’t seem particularly bright.”

“…”

“First, just grow up some more.”

Because it was terribly annoying, yet hard to treat him harshly.

Even Taerok, who rarely got tired, must have been unusually fatigued, as he straightened up with a sigh. Nanyoung put some distance between them and swung his wooden sword again. Whether the day would ever come to teach that child a lesson about truly foolish acts, or whether he would even grow up enough to get married—Taerok found it surprisingly impossible to imagine.

That day, the evening meal was shared with the King and Queen and even the Crown Prince gathered together. With the addition of the Queen Dowager, it was a picture-perfect family scene. It was not a very good look for a royal kinsman who had left the palace to enter the palace privately. Moreover, since Taerok was already grown and well beyond grown, the general opinion among the adults was that there was no need to summon him to such a gathering.

Still, Nanyoung thought it would have been nice if his uncle could have been there too, and before he knew it, he let that thought slip while having a light palate cleanser after the meal.

“It seems you are fond of your uncle, child?”

At his grandmother’s question, Nanyoung’s mind snapped to attention. Then, just as he had practiced alone, he smiled as smoothly and healthily as possible. He answered in the brightest voice, “Yes!”

At that answer, the King, the Queen, and the Queen Dowager exchanged glances. Even though they wished to spend time together warmly, it was Taerok who drew the line first. The younger the child, the more honestly they should see people, yet it was astonishing that even the guileless Nanyoung liked Taerok like that instead of being wary of him. Perhaps the rumor that quietly circulated within the palace—that Taerok held only his nephew dear—might actually be true.

“Indeed… As the ancient sages taught, you must respect your elders. Continue to serve your uncle well.”

The King, ever benevolent, soothed Nanyoung with his affectionate voice.

The sun set. As the days passed, the night grew greedy, swallowing the sun faster and approaching with ever quicker strides. The Crown Prince Gak ended up saying something a little sulky to Nanyoung.

“Uncle never spared me a single glance… I never imagined that even Uncle would dote on you.”

Once words are spoken, they cannot be taken back. Realizing his mistake, the Crown Prince bit his lip tightly.

The position of the Crown Prince was weighty and grave. While there were no expectations around Nanyoung and no one who expected anything of him, the Crown Prince was suffocated by nothing but expectations and those who expected. Because of that, there were inevitably times when he felt this petty jealousy toward his younger brother, who only ever received affection. Very occasionally… and those occasional, encroaching feelings were venomous and terribly shameful.

The loneliness Nanyoung knew and the loneliness the Crown Prince knew were entirely different, but both were undeniably piercing.

“Your Highness…”

Nanyoung murmured blankly. He was ashamed to face his younger brother, who had been ill again and lost the little weight he had just managed to gain. The Crown Prince spat out a fading “I’m going ahead,” and turned sharply away.

Behind the Crown Prince, who disappeared with long, swift strides, the deepening night was settling in. Watching that retreating figure for a long while, Nanyoung could not leave the spot, and the eunuch approached to soothe him.

“He could not have meant it.”

“…Right. He couldn’t have.”

Nanyoung nodded his head, deliberately putting on a brave front.

“Brother was just tired for a moment. I can understand.”

Admirable. Yet it was also pitiful. Even though they were brothers, one was the legitimate Crown Prince, and one would become a Grand Prince, so their paths would only grow further apart. Just as Taerok had become an eternal stranger despite being family.

Though he said he could understand, Nanyoung still could not take his eyes off the Crown Prince’s retreating back, so the eunuch very carefully blocked his view. Only then did Nanyoung drop his head slightly and step forward. The sound of his footsteps walking away was lonely.

∞ ∞ ∞

Time for young children flows like water. A year passed, and it was already summer. Nanyoung, being a child who sweated a lot, was reading aloud, drenched in perspiration. Giheum, who had been the Crown Prince’s teacher since his days as the Royal Heir, taught Nanyoung with a comparatively gentle manner, unlike before.

“That is correct. That is what filial piety is. Respecting one’s parents, and furthermore, cherishing the body given by one’s parents. Not only serving one’s elders, but also protecting oneself can be called filial piety.”

Giheum’s voice was very gentle. It also held pride. Nanyoung learned in a free manner and expressed his own thoughts. It was a flexibility not permitted to the Crown Prince.

“Shall we rest for a moment?”

Giheum asked with a generous smile. Only then did Nanyoung relax his posture. The fact that simply sitting with his back straight tired him out indicated that even after a year had passed and he had turned six, Nanyoung’s body had still not become a healthy one.

The fruit punch was brought in. After being served in the order of the King, the Queen Dowager, the Queen, and the Crown Prince, finely crushed ice was served to Nanyoung as well, presented in a brass bowl.

“It is a precious thing, so eat it sparingly, without leaving any, and with a grateful heart.”

“Yes, Teacher.”

A spirited reply. Having once suffered severe indigestion from eating something cold too hastily, Nanyoung carefully picked through it with his spoon and drank. It was sweet, so sweet. Color returned to Nanyoung’s face.

“May I open the window?”

“Please do.”

Giheum readily nodded. The watching eunuch tried to open it for him, but Nanyoung opened it himself. And by coincidence, he discovered Taerok passing by just at that moment.

Nanyoung’s eyes sparkled. At high noon, it was only natural that the moon and stars were not visible, yet the stars embedded in Nanyoung’s eyes glittered even when the sun was at its zenith.

“Uncle!”

Despite Giheum’s presence, Nanyoung was so overjoyed that he ended up calling out to Taerok.

At the sound of someone calling him, Taerok turned his head sharply.

At that moment, Taerok was in a very bad mood. It was because of the reason he had entered the palace. Taerok had entered the palace by the King’s command and had a private audience with the King. As soon as he sat down, the King got straight to the point and brought up the subject of Taerok’s marriage.

‘I hear you still haven’t met Park Changcheon’s daughter?’

‘Did you summon me to talk about that?’

The King smiled gently at Taerok, who openly wore an expression of weariness.