Struggle Chapter 78

Nanyoung did not seem to be in this place. It was as if he were looking at empty nothingness somewhere else.

“To you, Uncle, am I nothing more than a plaything to add interest to a tedious life?”

A plaything….

Indeed, among Nanyoung’s scattered garments left undone, there was such an item.

Taerok lowered Nanyoung from atop himself and moved toward the rumpled clothing. From within, he found and lifted up the ornament.

“Something as trivial as this?”

He rolled the gourd-shaped jade ornament in his hand, then gripped it as if to crush it.

“You’re more precious than this. You’re my own blood.”

Taerok gathered and put on his clothes. Nanyoung, seated on the floor, stared blankly up at him. He could not even bring himself to ask, “Are you leaving?”

The paper he had tried to take had gone into Taerok’s bosom. There seemed little hope of taking it back, or of Taerok pulling it out again.

Having fully dressed, Taerok turned to look at Nanyoung. From his bosom came the rustling sound of fallen leaves. At that rustling, both Nanyoung and Taerok felt as though a wind that did not blow was parting the space between them.

“I misspoke earlier.”

“…”

“I will take this ornament with me. I must always keep in mind that you are more precious than this.”

Without waiting for an answer, without permission, Taerok tucked Nanyoung’s ornament into his bosom, bent down, and stepped out through the door.

What he had taken was merely an ornament. So what was lost was merely an ornament. And yet it felt as though everything had been lost, and even what had been taken was himself—so Nanyoung could only sit there blankly, like an abandoned child, from the morning sun until it became evening.

∞ ∞ ∞

Taerok lay propped on his arm. With one ankle resting on the thigh of his bent knee, he repeatedly tossed the gourd-shaped jade ornament into the air and caught it with his free hand. Each time it rose and fell, the deep green silk tassel spread and gathered like midsummer foliage, repeating the motion—like a multicolored moth.

“…”

His posture was unmistakably that of a idle wastrel, yet Taerok’s expression was quite grave. More than grave, he seemed deeply angry. Every time he lightly tossed and caught it, the sinews stood out on the back of his hand, as if the jade might shatter at any moment. With the master’s mood so foul, the atmosphere within the palace was equally chilling.

Whether unaware of this needle-sharp tension or simply unbothered by it, a voice from outside called, “Grand Prince.”

Taerok propped himself up on his elbow. Though no window was open, a bleak wind seemed to blow.

“Who is it.”

Even at his question, there was no answer.

“I asked who it was.”

Even at a tone that would make most who knew or didn’t know Taerok’s reputation feel a chill in their knees, the other party gave no reaction.

Only then did Taerok approach the door.

“Is it Saon?”

He asked, though he knew it was not.

“If it’s not even Saon, then get lost. I didn’t call for you.”

He does not believe in most things. Unless he can understand and accept it with his own mind, he dismisses it as an illusion. And if it were an illusion, he had never engaged in such fragile acts as being bewitched.

Just as Taerok was about to turn away coldly—

“If you won’t let me in, may I go to Grand Prince Heonui instead?”

It was a clear, resonant voice. Only then did Taerok recall that there had been a voice resembling this in his forgotten memories.

With a scoff, he leaned his body against the doorframe.

“You dare weigh the royal clan against each other?”

“Shall I have you struck? If so, please open this door. Even if I am struck, it would be the Grand Prince who would be thoroughly humiliated.”

She was utterly audacious. At this point, he wanted to at least see her face. Taerok pulled the door latch and opened it. The bleak autumn wind surged in.

The visitor wore a plain, low-quality overcoat and an old, worn hat. It was too dark to see clearly. Taerok reached out, lit a flame, and brightened the sitting area. Only then did the uninvited guest slightly lift her hat, finally revealing her face.

“Heh… Am I dreaming now.”

His tone was surprised, but his expression showed no change at all as Taerok murmured.

“May I be received now?”

“…”

“It has been a long time.”

“For what business have you come all the way here?”

At Taerok’s mocking tone, the other smiled lightly.

“Is there reason for me to be shameless? You are not my father. The only ones before whom I should be shameless are my parents and my siblings.”

Taerok looked at the uninvited guest’s face for a long while and did not step aside.

“You don’t say a word inviting me in.”

“Because I see no reason to.”

Arms crossed, Taerok was indifferent. If it were Saon, who had been staying as a guest for several days, he would have been ashen as if he had seen a ghost—but Taerok was not. Taerok was not curious whether the other was real or an apparition. More accurately, he had no curiosity at all.

“What business brings my wife here? Have you come to shake me again?”

This was as good as telling her to leave. But Nanok chuckled and only asked back.

“How could I possibly be such a presence? The only person in this world who can shake the Grand Prince is one, is it not?”

“I wouldn’t know. Are you speaking of His Majesty?”

“Such a joke. I wondered if nothing had changed about you, but it seems that’s not the case? You know everything, yet why do you pretend not to? I know very well that you are not that kind of person.”

“It seems we share a certain selfishness, after all.”

Nanok answered like a nightingale.

Then, groping the lattice door, she glanced into the room.

“I am dressed in men’s clothing, I have no intention of stirring gossip with the Grand Prince—or with any man—and I merely wish to offer my regards. Since the Grand Prince will not be shaken an inch by me, it should be all right to let me in, should it not?”

“How brave of you.”

“Yes, I have been well.”

“Shameless, too. Shall I report you to the patrol officers on night watch and have you arrested at once?”

“I know you won’t do that. I know that you do not wish for, nor would you ever do, such troublesome things as getting entangled with someone who suddenly appears as your wife, someone you do not care for.”

Nanok answered without yielding an inch.

Taerok raised an eyebrow. Indeed, they were truly alike. So alike that he loathed it.

If she had something to say, whether it was real or an apparition, she should say it quickly and leave—so Taerok stepped aside. As soon as Nanok entered the room, the door closed by itself. Taerok stared at the door for a moment, then continued nonchalantly.

“Does the hat and overcoat suit you rather well?”

At that, Nanok removed her hat. A rather neatly tied topknot was revealed.

“Does the topknot not suit me well as well?”

“Is this for your own convenience, or is it the attire imposed by the Heavenly Lord you believe in?”

“Since I am a sinner who brought great disgrace upon my family, I could hardly just enter as I am.”

This time, Taerok could only sneer.

“Thanks to you, that illustrious Min clan is serving as my bait. What if things go wrong and they face annihilation?”

“Things could also go well, and they might become meritorious subjects once again.”

“Hoh. So you know what I am trying to do?”

“I do not. In truth, I have no interest.”

She was not told to sit, nor did she ask if she could. It was merely an uncomfortable situation for both. Taerok turned and opened a mother-of-pearl box. The box, fitted with a dressing stand utterly unsuited to this place, was what Taerok had once prepared to send to the one who would become his spouse. Nanok had never used it, and Taerok had opened it only to show it off and tease Nanyoung when they had lain together. The hand placing the ornament inside it was quite careful and gentle.

Watching that gesture closely, Nanok asked.

“How is he doing?”

“As you can see, well.”

“No, I am not asking about the Grand Prince.”

Taerok, who had been gazing at the ornament, slowly turned only his head to look at Nanok. But even seeing Nanok, who appeared as a handsome young man, Taerok’s heart did not change. It was the same with other men. By nature, he was indifferent to others, but especially men—to Taerok, they were tiresome and their body odors unpleasant. Only toward Nanyoung was Taerok’s desire not uncomplicated.

“Is your relationship with your nephew the same as before?”

A tremor appeared in Taerok’s impassive expression. As if that fissure alone was enough to know, Nanok smiled quietly.

“I thought as much.”