‘Could it be similar to how Ludville desperately searches for me, even though he doesn’t remember me and my very existence has been erased?’
As if to hide the heat rising in her face, Odely buried her head against his chest.
Then she whispered even more quietly.
“I don’t know what I should do with you.”
Until the very end…….
Should I keep pretending I don’t know?
Yes. That was what she had to do.
He had such a strong body, and his natural lifespan was supposed to be over a hundred years.
So how had he ended up getting entangled with someone like me, of all people, and living through thousands of repeated deaths?
Only Odely could break that terrible cycle.
She had to pretend she knew nothing.
Who he was waiting for.
Why he felt a sense of déjà vu whenever he saw her.
Just as she had done until now, she had to act as if she knew nothing and give him another reason to live.
‘That’s what I decided to do.’
She could not let her heart weaken just because he had held her for a little while.
How could she drag him down the road to the afterlife while pretending she had no choice?
Doing that thousands of times had been enough.
Now, she really had to let him go.
She slowly loosened the arms she had wrapped around his back.
“……Lady Odely!”
Just then, the soldiers from the expedition who had followed Odely came running toward them.
“Good heavens, what on earth happened here?!”
“His Highness lost consciousness and collapsed toward me.”
Odely immediately erased all emotion from her face and calmly explained what had happened.
****
He barely managed to lift his heavy eyelids.
The faint patterns on the ceiling slowly came into focus.
A familiar ceiling filled his vision.
‘……My room?’
The room was dimly lit.
Morning sunlight filtering through the thick curtains softly illuminated the edge of the bed.
Ludville slowly inhaled.
Even though his lungs filled and expanded with air, there was a strange emptiness somewhere in his chest.
It felt as though he had lost the whole world.
Even though he had lost nothing.
“…….”
And that was an unpleasant sensation he could not explain.
He absently touched his chest.
A ridiculous thought briefly crossed his mind.
What if someone had cut out his heart while he was asleep?
But, of course, he was still alive.
The familiar ceiling, familiar fatigue, familiar pain.
Everything was the same as usual, yet somehow, today, everything felt strangely unfamiliar.
It felt as though he had been holding onto something tightly……
But there was nothing left in his hand now.
Ludville looked down at his palm and slowly clenched and unclenched his fist.
He had thought he had finally managed to hold on to something.
Only to realize once again that he had been grasping at an illusion, like grains of sand slipping between his fingers……
The pulse beneath his skin was the only thing that felt real.
‘……There was something.’
Joy and fulfillment.
An overwhelming sense of relief, as though something had finally clicked perfectly into place.
For one brief moment, he had definitely felt as though fireworks had exploded above his head.
Yet his mind was now completely blank.
What had made him feel so fulfilled?
What had he desperately tried to hold onto and refused to let go?
Everything had disappeared, leaving behind only an unbearable longing.
Ludville closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead, then habitually reached toward the bedside table.
He was looking for the silver case containing his cigarettes.
He thought that if he smoked one and forced himself to sleep, perhaps he could have that sweet dream again.
He wanted to hold on to even a momentary illusion.
But before he could reach it, someone grabbed his wrist.
“Your Highness.”
It was Odely.
“…….”
Ludville stared blankly at her for a moment before looking down at the hand holding his.
Small and soft.
A pale, delicate hand that looked as though it had never known hardship……
Without thinking, he gently ran his thumb over the back of her hand.
“……What are you doing?”
“You’re the one who grabbed a man’s hand without permission, Lady Odely.”
“I did that because Your Highness started reaching around the bedside table like an addict the moment you woke up.”
Odely shot back as if she found him ridiculous.
“An addict…… So you grabbed me to stop me?”
“What if I did?”
“Then will you become my substitute instead?”
“What does that…….”
For a moment, Odely lost her composure.
Ludville was slowly bringing his face closer, as though he were about to kiss the back of her hand.
She startled and quickly pulled her hand away as if she had been burned.
“Looks like you haven’t fully woken up yet. Get a grip.”
Ludville’s gaze suddenly shifted to Odely’s ear.
The pale, neat curve had turned faintly red, like a shy flower petal.
……Well, well.
Ludville’s eyes, black and dead like burnt ashes, suddenly sparkled with interest.
As if he had found his prey, he casually lifted the corner of his mouth.
“Ahem.”
Just then.
The physician, who had been quietly standing nearby from the beginning, cleared his throat and interrupted the moment.
“Your Highness, cigarettes are forbidden for the time being.”
Ludville’s expression immediately soured.
He had been staring intently at her reddened ear, wondering how he might tease her, but now his face turned sour.
“Hah. Who are you to ban something I enjoy without my permission?”
“I’m your physician, Your Highness.”
The man answered firmly.
His tone made it clear that he would not back down.
To work as the personal physician of a Grand Duke who treated his own body like a disposable object, you needed at least that much courage.
“You think I’m going to listen to that?”
But Ludville was not easy to deal with either.
The smile at the corner of his mouth instantly turned into a sneer. A sharp intensity entered the crooked smile.
Just as the physician instinctively took a step back—
“Clause Five of the contract. If you become ill or injured, you must report it immediately.”
What was she talking about……?
Ludville gave Odely an incredulous look.
Odely continued in a calm voice.
“Clause Seven. Any medication other than weapons must be kept in a designated place and may not be used without prior approval.”
Odely’s cold gaze settled over Ludville’s face.
“If you’re going to sign a contract with me, these are things you’ll have to follow.”
“We haven’t signed a contract yet.”
Even as he said that, Ludville’s gaze returned to the physician.
“……You said for the time being, right? Fine. We’ll go with that for now.”
The physician let out a short breath.
Looking at a man who had no sense of cooperation, or even the slightest awareness that he was a patient, he sighed with the full weight of professional exhaustion.
If the young lady hadn’t helped……
The physician hoped Odely would stay by the Grand Duke’s side for a long time, and spoke.
“Your Highness, do you remember what happened before you lost consciousness?”
Ludville immediately returned to his usual bored expression and answered carelessly.
“I was hunting monsters. I remember killing all of them.”
“……Your Highness was exposed to an extreme amount of monster miasma at the time. According to Lady Odely, your condition had progressed to the point where you were on the verge of becoming a monster.”
Comments (0)