Charles and Richard Chapter 13

Jennifer: And if we weren’t dating, why would we have lunch alone together every single day?

C: ….

Charles couldn’t retort. He was so flustered that he failed to notice that Jennifer didn’t get dimples when she smiled, and more importantly, that she didn’t have freckles on her cheeks. He had no choice but to silently watch Jennifer’s retreating back as she left with a snort. More than anything else, Jennifer’s words stuck in his mind.

That line about asking what it feels like to have feelings for someone. Charles didn’t want to be swayed by rumors any longer. So he had come to find Jennifer, and now it was time to go find Richard. Charles decided to ask Richard directly. Knowing Richard, he’d be so dense he probably didn’t even know such rumors were circulating. That had to be it.

The weather grew warmer with each passing day. Scarves had long since disappeared, and the noticeably lighter coats were now starting to be replaced by jackets or cardigans. In the meantime, Richard had grown closer to Jennifer. He still couldn’t bring himself to acknowledge Jennifer, but the fact remained that she was quite cool.

They sat knee-to-knee, complaining about boring classes, talking about tennis, and sharing gossip about who liked whom and who had fought with whom (in this part, Richard just listened to Jennifer). Richard was relieved that Jennifer never talked about Charles at all. Jennifer didn’t even know who Charles was.

Richard could finally relax a little. In some ways, he’d achieved a satisfactory result. It didn’t seem like Jennifer and Charles would hit it off, and Richard had gained a good friend in Jennifer. Of course, this was a huge miscalculation. As always, Richard only realized his mistake after things had progressed to a certain point.

For instance, Richard only realized it after Charles came to find him. Richard had no after-school schedule that day, for a change. Since the sunlight had grown warmer, he’d run straight to the park with Cherry as soon as school ended. About an hour later, the boy and the dog returned home, covered in each other’s saliva and caked with dirt. Richard realized Charles was home even before he opened the front door. Because the first thing Charles always did when he got home was water the pots lined up by the window. Richard saw the wet soil in the pots, grinned, and pulled the front door.

Click.

The door was locked. Richard was flustered. Cherry slipped inside through the dog door under the front door. Richard tried the door again, but of course, it was still locked. This was the first time the door had ever been locked.

C: Who is it?

A cold voice asked from beyond the front door. Richard answered, bewildered.

R: Charlie, it’s me! Why did you lock the door?

C: Because I hate you!!

Charles shouted from beyond the front door, sobbing loudly. Richard froze.

He had only seen Charles cry once before. That was the day of last year’s pool party. And now, he was seeing Charles cry for the second time. Well, technically, he couldn’t see him. Charles had locked the door and refused to open it.

Richard was shocked on three points. First, that the door was locked. Second, that Charles was crying. Third, that Charles had said “I hate you.” Richard didn’t know what to do and just gripped the innocent doorknob tightly. He could hear Charles sniffling from beyond the front door. Richard pressed his ear close to the door and asked in a trembling voice.

R: You hate me?

C: Yes.

R: Why?

C: My mom, dad, Emily, Emma, Christine, and even Cherry… they all like you more than me…

R: That’s not true!

C: And now Jennifer likes you more too.

R: No… Charlie, open the door… Open the door, Charlie!

C: No!

R: Open it!!

C: No! What are you going to take from me this time?! You take away everything I like!!

At those words, Richard was momentarily struck speechless. The sniffles stopped, as if he were holding his breath for a moment. Then they started again.

Richard’s heart constricted. Did Charles think he had taken Jennifer away? His mom and dad too? Christine, Emma, Emily, all of them? Richard felt like he couldn’t even breathe. He had once feared that Jennifer might take Charles away. He had been afraid that Charles might like Jennifer more than him. Richard had imagined the loss of having Charles taken from him, and that had scared him even more. If he could never get Charles back from Jennifer… But there was something even more frightening than that.

It was Charles hating him. What if Charles came to hate him forever like this? Richard was completely terrified, and his eyes filled with tears. Richard, his voice quavering, pounded on the front door.

R: I won’t take anything. I mean it. I swear. So please open the door. Charlie! Please!

C: ….

R: Please, Charlie, I won’t do it anymore…

C: ….

Finally, even Richard spoke, tears streaming down his face. There was a moment of silence, and then the sound of the latch turning was heard.

The two little boys faced each other, both crying their eyes out. Richard was bawling, tears and snot running down his face, and Charles, whose tears had been subsiding, started crying again when he saw Richard crying. Richard wiped his tears and snot and apologized, saying he was sorry. But Charles didn’t answer. He just glared at Richard, tears still flowing. Cherry paced restlessly around the feet of the two sobbing boys, whining. She clung to Richard’s knees, wagging her tail, and tugged at his pant leg, but Richard didn’t even look at Cherry.

R: I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I won’t do it anymore, so please don’t hate me.

C: ….

R: Charlie, don’t cry. I’m sorry.

C: ….

R: Don’t cry, Charlie.

Richard mumbled, unable to even stop his own tears. It pained him to see the tears streaming down Charles’s pink cheeks. His shoulders and body trembled from crying. Richard reached out his hand. He clutched Charles’s shirt hem tightly and looked at him, crying. Charles looked down at Richard’s hand gripping his shirt. He lifted his head again and looked into Richard’s blue eyes, blurred with tears.

His hair, which had been neatly combed at school, was now a tangled mess, and tear tracks were clearly visible on his dirt-and-grime-smudged cheeks. Charles hated Richard. He didn’t care at all that Jennifer liked Richard. That truly didn’t matter.

What Charles was really angry about was that Richard would never like him back. His mom, dad, Christine, Emma, Emily, Cherry… he liked all of them, he liked everyone Charles liked, he’d even started liking Jennifer, and yet he absolutely never liked Charles back.

C: You take everything I like.

That wasn’t true. Even Charles, as he said it, knew it. Richard hadn’t taken anything.

C: And you never give me anything.

But this was true.

From the very beginning, Richard had never been interested in him. He liked everyone—starting with Emily, then Christine, and Cherry, Emma, Mom and Dad, and at school, Charles’s friends, even Jennifer—but he never liked Charles himself.

Suddenly, Charles turned and ran to his room. Richard let go of his shirt. A moment later, the sound of his bedroom door slamming shut came from upstairs. Richard sobbed loudly, picked up his jacket and bag that he’d tossed on the living room sofa, and left the house. Behind him, he heard Cherry whining.