Charles and Richard Chapter 27

After Charles’s sharp, probing remark, both of them fell silent. Richard was the first to lower Charles’s zipper. Charles forgot even to breathe at what was about to happen next. Richard slipped his hand inside the waistband of his boxers. His hands, used to handling machinery, were hard and rough, but his movements were agonizingly gentle and slow. He slowly wrapped his palm around Charles, who was already fully erect. Charles swallowed his breath. The two boys stared at each other as if spellbound, barely blinking.

Charles could no longer read any expression on Richard’s face. He was completely absorbed by the sensation in his lower body, surrendering all his time to Richard’s touch without any thoughts, predictions, anxieties, or worries. Richard, aroused, narrowed his eyes and stuck out his tongue. Between his parted lips, white teeth were visible, and his moist red tongue licked his lips. The disheveled honey-colored hair on his smooth forehead gradually grew damp with sweat. It was a sensual face. Charles was utterly captivated by that face, and when Richard moved his hand, he found himself opening his mouth involuntarily. Richard watched him from so close that Charles’s ragged breaths hit his face.

Richard moved damn slowly. He seemed to know “how” to do this much, but he wouldn’t do it the way Charles wanted. He watched Charles carefully. The changes in Charles’s expression, and even the way his breathing grew rapidly irregular. When the hard fingers, with their slow, agonizingly sweet movements, rubbed the tip and stroked the shaft, Charles unconsciously grabbed the hem of Richard’s shirt. He foresaw that from now on, just seeing Richard’s hands touching car parts or holding tools would be enough to excite him.

Richard gradually, teasingly gradually, picked up the pace. At some point, Richard’s cheeks had flushed red. The boys never took their eyes off each other. Charles moaned as if sighing. Richard chewed his lips, then unzipped his own pants and brought his hand between his legs. He began stroking himself while steadily quickening his pace on Charles. The attic terrace quickly filled with the sound of the boys’ breathing and suppressed moans. Richard’s clear eyes gradually began to haze over. Charles reached climax first. But Richard didn’t notice and kept caressing him, so Charles felt a pleasure close to pain. He grabbed Richard’s firm wrist and shook his head.

As pleas for mercy slipped out between ragged breaths, Richard belatedly stopped. Richard stared at Charles’s pale, slender fingers gripping his wrist as he climaxed. The boys’ ragged breathing slowly subsided. The heat of the attic gradually dispersed through the wide-open window. Charles was still gripping Richard’s wrist tightly. When Richard tried to pull his hand away, Charles finally let go in surprise. Charles and Richard met each other’s eyes. Charles didn’t want to answer whatever Richard might say, so he took the initiative and kissed him first. Fortunately, Richard responded by tangling his tongue instead of speaking.

It was a long while after their kiss ended that Richard spoke.

R: But Charles…

Richard mumbled as he wiped his wet hands with a tissue. Charles was sitting on the windowsill and didn’t hear him call. Richard got up and leaned his back against the opposite windowsill. Only then did Charles look down at Richard, swinging his legs. Richard swept his hair back, revealing his sweat-beaded forehead. Charles impulsively pulled Richard in and kissed his forehead. Richard stood still. Even when Charles awkwardly pulled his lips away, he remained close.

Charles noticed that Richard’s expression had turned gloomy. His heart suddenly sank. Was he regretting it? If he regretted it, how should he answer? Richard looked up at Charles with drooping eyebrows. Charles quickly pulled his hand away from Richard’s nape, which he had been holding until then. Richard seemed startled by that action. He glanced at Charles’s hand, which had retreated into his pocket, then stepped back. He leaned against the windowsill where he had been standing before. Richard kept his head bowed for a while, staring only at Charles’s feet.

R: Charles, friends don’t do things like this.

C: ….

R: I’m sorry.

His voice was heavy, almost guilt-ridden. Charles gritted his teeth. He glared at Richard’s honey-colored head and the pale nape visible in the darkness, then pulled his legs up and sat. Then what about all the kisses they’d shared until now? The kisses they’d shamelessly exchanged, tongues tangled? Weren’t those caresses? If he was sorry, what exactly was he sorry for?

It wasn’t as if Charles could blame Richard for trying to back out now. That was entirely Richard’s choice. But he couldn’t stop the ache in his chest. It was hard to pretend not to notice the betrayal rising to his throat. The sense of betrayal toward someone he had just climaxed with ten minutes ago was overwhelming—more anger than sadness. Charles glared at Richard with a hurt, cold expression, then opened his mouth. His voice came out far chillier than he had expected.

C: You said you wanted to be friends with me.

R: That’s right. I really do…

C: This is all I want from you.

R: What?

C: This kind of thing. Touching each other… just touching. That’s all.

R: ….

C: Don’t like it? Then stop. I won’t hold you.

To his own disbelief, not a single tear came. Charles jumped down from the windowsill. Even though it was a hot summer night, his whole body was cold. He felt like he was trembling, but he desperately held it in. Without a single glance at Richard, he went down from the attic. He stood still for a moment, but Richard didn’t follow him down. Charles went back to his room and slammed the door shut. Only then did tears begin to fall.

∞ ∞ ∞

As graduation drew nearer, the atmosphere at school grew increasingly excited. Charles’s high school was the kind that held elaborate graduation ceremonies and proms. Charles himself had never been interested in prom and hadn’t gone in eleventh grade either, but this year he wouldn’t be able to avoid it. He sat among his friends, absently listening to talk about who was going to ask whom to prom, and which couples had broken up right before prom.

Parties were also held frequently in the lead-up to prom. Charles’s friends were going to every party thrown, scouting for dates. Charles still wasn’t interested. His friends half-considered him an oddball, so they didn’t bother him. They chatted about the party happening this weekend and casually asked Charles if he wanted to come along. Charles shook his head. He just wanted all of this to be over. The excited atmosphere erupting all around him was uncomfortable. Every topic was about dating or girls. Charles, having just been heartbroken a few days ago, naturally wanted to avoid those subjects.