I Slept with the Villain Holding My Hand Chapter 136

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Boom!

 

The dark clouds rolled in, rumbling ominously. 

 

What had started as scattered raindrops had now turned into a relentless downpour.

 

Clatter—

 

The horse, reluctantly spurred on by Merria’s urging, snorted and came to a halt. 

 

Sensing the threatening air—perhaps because the grand duchy was now within reach—it refused to go any further.

 

Finally, Merria dismounted and began striding through the biting rain.

 

“Hah… Hah…”

 

Crash—!

 

A sudden clap of thunder startled her, causing her to misstep and tumble to the ground. But she pushed herself up without hesitation.

 

Why was the estate still so far away? And why were my own legs so useless?

 

Never before had the sprawling grounds of the grand duchy felt so hateful.

 

“Ugh…”

 

Even as she clenched her ring-adorned hand, the surging emotions refused to settle.

 

Faster. Faster. More.

 

“Ngh!”

 

Whether it was the rain or something else, her vision blurred further. The sodden earth clung to her feet, stubbornly slowing her down.

 

Please.

 

Please…

 

She ran on, not even noticing when her shoe slipped off.

 

A gardener, who had been sheltering from the downpour, spotted a figure racing toward him from afar and gaped in shock. By the time he recognized her as the master’s lover, Merria had already rushed past him.

 

Bursting through the front doors with her body, Merria stood disoriented, unsure where to go.

 

“Reukis—!”

 

She stood firm and called his name.

 

“Reukis! Reukis!”

 

Hearing the commotion, Harriet hurried out in a fluster.

 

“What in the world is happening?!”

 

Having heard of Merria’s disappearance, Harriet couldn’t hide his surprise. But before he could even feel relief at her safe return, Merria urgently demanded:

 

“Where is Reukis?”

 

Merria tightly grabbed Harriet’s arm.

 

Harriet’s expression hardened as he saw the bloodstains on her hand.

 

“My lord is currently with a guest…”

 

“No, not with that woman. Tell me where Reukis is right now.”

 

“He is in the second room on the left in the office.”

 

Seeing Merria on the verge of collapse, Harriet offered to escort her himself.

 

But Merria shook her head fiercely.

 

“You must take everyone and leave. As far as possible, beyond the reach of Reukis’ power.”

 

Because this is for Reukis’ sake.

 

Merria added in a trembling voice. Harriet could grasp the entire situation from those words alone.

 

The fact that the violent outburst that had tormented his master was about to happen again.

 

Hurriedly blocking Merria’s path as she tried to head upstairs, Harriet spoke.

 

“It’s dangerous. You must not go!”

 

“Harriet!”

 

Merria understood his feelings well.

 

He had been by her side since childhood, witnessing the scars left by Reukis’ past outbursts. She already knew he didn’t want her to get involved.

 

But Merria had to go.

 

The ring in her hand could calm him.

 

If there was a better way, she would take it—but for now, this was her only choice.

 

“It has to be me, no one else. I don’t want Reukis to fall into despair again.”

 

Merria looked Harriet straight in the eye as she spoke.

 

The strength slowly drained from Harriet’s arm, which had been blocking her way.

 

Without hesitation, Merria ran up the stairs toward the office.

 

Fortunately, it seemed Harriet had decided to trust her. From below, his voice occasionally rang out as he directed the servants.

 

Tap-clack. Click-clack—

 

Tap-clack. Click-clack—

 

Bare feet and shoes alternated in hurried steps, creating a rhythmic sound.

 

“…”

 

The moment she finally reached the door, the flow of the air seemed to shift. She couldn’t explain how, but she vaguely felt it.

 

Merria flung the door open.

 

“Ugh.”

 

She had clearly opened the door, yet what faced her was pure darkness.

 

An endless void, as if night had swallowed everything in an instant.

 

When she reached out her hand, the darkness gnawed at it, sending a numb ache through her fingers.

 

If just briefly touching it felt like this—She couldn’t even imagine what stepping inside would be like.

It would hurt. Maybe enough to kill her.

 

But…

 

“Reukis is in there alone.”

 

If that was the reason, then gladly. If her past self from just a year ago saw her now, she might have recoiled in horror and tried to stop her.

 

When had she become someone so willing to sacrifice herself?

 

Was it when Reukis tenderly called her name?

 

Or when she received his desperate confession amidst the lavender waves?

 

Whenever it was, whatever the reason—it didn’t matter now.

 

Without hesitation, Merria leaped inside.

 

“Reukis.”

 

She stretched out her hand, searching for where he was. And as she moved forward, she instinctively sensed his location.

 

A place where the darkness swirled violently, like a raging storm, stood out to her.

 

‘There he is.’

 

The pitch-black darkness, undulating like a black hole, resembled a blackened heart.

 

Fragile, as if ripped from a body—ready to burst at any moment.

 

As Merria walked, her ring reacted. The closer she got to him, the harder it became to breathe, yet her vision grew clearer.

 

“…Have you been like this the whole time?”

 

He was kneeling, forehead pressed to the ground, curled into himself.

 

Merria didn’t know why, but the memory of that night—the night of her nightmare—resurfaced.

 

Perhaps it was because this was the first time she had seen someone writhe in such wretched agony.

 

This was before she had met Reukis—back when, to her, he was nothing more than Duke Frederick.

 

It was a night when the still-young Merria woke from a nightmare.

 

In the quiet, empty room, she trembled with anxiety and shed tears. She resented her own helplessness as much as she feared the endless nightmares.

She just wanted to run away.

 

The more Merria succumbed to her weak heart, the more relentlessly the nightmares sought her.

 

Each time, the small ring given to her by the old woman reassured her. Her mother would comfort her when she cried.

Lexie’s warm hot chocolate would soothe her.

 

But Reukis sat here, untouched by any such kindness.

 

Like a person frozen in time since the night he lost his parents as a child.

 

‘It won’t be okay. Maybe it will never get better.’

 

Forcing someone drowning in pain to ‘get better’ or ‘go back to normal’ was no different from tearing open their wounds.

 

Because she wished for Reukis to be just a little less unhappy,

 

Merria willingly threw herself into his despair.

 

‘Even if you hide in the darkness forever, I will stay by your side.’

 

Merria knelt before Reukis and called his name with a choked voice.

 

“Reukis. Reukis.”

 

The blue energy flowing from her hands cooled his burning skin.

 

‘Thank goodness. Really.’

 

She had worried the ring might act up, but—Merria whispered, her brows furrowed.

 

“I’m here. Don’t be afraid.”

 

Plip. Plip—

 

Hot liquid dripped onto their overlapping hands.

 

The bitter taste in her mouth told her it was her own blood.

 

Reukis, who had been curled up like a person frozen in time, slowly lifted his head. His eyes, meeting hers after so long, were starkly different from what Merria remembered.

Staring into his hollow gaze, she raised his hand and pressed a deep kiss to it.

 

“I want you to live. Please….”

 

A heavy tear rolled down Merria’s twisted eyelid.

 

With every drop that fell, it felt as though all the strength in her body was draining away.

 

Yet Merria neither let go nor fled from the darkness.

 

Staggering, she poured all her effort into calming his darkness. Then, slowly, focus returned to Reukis’s eyes, which had been fixed blankly on the void.

Whoosh—

 

As his nearly unconscious gaze sharpened, the darkness snarled like an irritated beast.

 

“Ugh…”

 

Merria gritted her teeth against the darkness, now sharper than ever in its fury. Her face stung, and her breath was cut short.

 

“Please… don’t let it consume you.”

 

Whether her words reached him or not, Reukis’s consciousness was gradually returning.

 

Finally awake, Reukis couldn’t hold back his horror at the sight before him.

 

“Merria…?”

 

The woman he had longed to see was right in front of him—bleeding and crying.

 

Like someone struck on the head, Reukis stood frozen, his voice trembling as he muttered,

 

“No…”

 

With a face as if he might collapse any moment, he spoke to her.

 

“Get away from me.”

 

“Reukis!”

 

As though her touch would bring disaster, he twisted his hand free. He could have simply shoved her away—but he couldn’t even do that.

The most he could manage was to withdraw his own hand.

 

Merria only gripped him tighter, refusing to let go.

 

He shook his head violently, pleading with her.

 

“I—I don’t want to hurt you. Please.”

 

“You won’t.”

 

“If it’s just for a moment… I can suppress the magic. So while you can, run away from me—”

 

“No.”

 

“Merria!”

 

His voice thundered like lightning. This was the first time Reukis had ever raised his voice at her.

Yet Merria only smiled sorrowfully in response.

 

Blood still trickled from her nose and mouth, and her body ached as if it were being crushed.

 

Even in this agony, on the verge of death, she found herself laughing.

 

“So now, at last… you cry.”

 

Because Reukis was crying like a child. He, who had always stifled his emotions with dry sobs.

 

Now, he was wailing uncontrollably, his face streaked with messy, chicken-dung-like tears.

 

Merria let out a shallow breath and patted the back of his hand.

 

With each touch, a verdant energy continuously drained from her into Reukis.

 

“I’m going to ask you this, so please hold my hand.”

 

At her deliberately playful words, Reukis crumbled, “I’m so scared. I don’t want to lose you… I don’t know what to do. So please, just run away. Merria. Please…”

 

Behind Reukis, who buried his face in her shoulder, darkness surged. Though he had clenched his teeth and suppressed the darkness after regaining his senses, soon, even that would spiral beyond his control.

 

Merria leaned back slightly to look at his face.

 

“I won’t run away. I decided long ago not to leave you alone.”

 

She pressed her lips softly against Reukis’.

 

His tear-stained lips were slightly salty—and just as tender.

 

“Hng—”

 

Reukis sucked in a sharp breath and tensed.

 

No matter how hard he tried to hold it back, the darkness continued to swell.

 

Merria rested her head against his chest and murmured, “Let’s live together. Survive, and afterward, I’ll take all your resentment and fear.”

 

Finally, the darkness enveloping Reukis swallowed Merria whole, leaving not even a strand of hair behind.

 

At the same time, the blue energy stored in the ring expanded, wrapping around both of them.

 

Whoosh—

 

A strong, warm power settled gently into Reukis’ heart. The darkness, encircled by light, gradually faded.

 

Merria’s ring, having expended all its power, crumbled into dust.

 

The end was eerily quiet—almost anticlimactic.

 

Reukis trembled violently as he cradled Merria’s limp body in his arms. She wasn’t breathing.

 

Merria wouldn’t open her eyes.

 

‘No. No!’

 

“Merri—ugh—Merria. Hng…”

 

Unable to even sob properly, Reukis called out to her.

 

“Ack—!”

 

Merria coughed up blood violently, gasping for air.

 

‘Ugh, I really thought I was gonna die.’

 

She let out a short, hollow laugh, her mind dazed. It was hard to open her eyes with Reukis’ tears falling heavily onto her face.

 

Merria reached up and brushed her hand against his cheek.

 

“Hic… Sniff… Merria…”

 

“Ah, I’m so worried about you. What am I gonna do? You’re crying too much.”

 

Reukis bit down hard on his pale lips, gripping her hand tightly—

 

As if letting go would mean losing her forever.

 

Merria smiled faintly and spoke in broken whispers.

 

“It’s okay. Everything’s… okay now.”

 

I must’ve lost too much blood.

 

Those were the last words Merria uttered before she passed out.