Keep Going Crazy Chapter 13

Until the moment he was surrounded by the marshals, Ryeoun tried his best not to cry. Truly, he felt like bawling his eyes out like a little kid. He couldn’t even blame the drivers ahead. They had simply done their best to race their own race.

He should have calculated the distance to the two battling cars a little more carefully—it was his own fault for not getting through safely. What if he’d been just 0.3 seconds slower, or maybe 1 second faster?

Even making such assumptions was pointless. Han Ryeoun’s race was already over.

Victor came running toward Ryeoun as he returned to the pit. He pulled Ryeoun into an embrace and checked on him multiple times, asking if he was okay and whether he was hurt.

Retiring from a race, whether voluntary or not, happens often enough… But why did it have to happen now of all times? Starting from 11th and climbing to 7th—how happy he’d been in that moment.

He’d been certain he could do well, that he could finish this race perfectly.

Aiden Carter finished the race in 1st place. Honestly, he didn’t even want to see him standing on the podium spraying champagne.

In a bathtub full of ice water, Ryeoun had to suppress his anger inwardly. He didn’t want to blame others after ruining a race. But at that moment, he just hated Aiden Carter. Soon, though, Ryeoun stopped hating him.

Because he couldn’t have sex with Noah, because he couldn’t overcome superstitions, because Aiden Carter got on his nerves… All of that was just excuses. In the end, he was the one driving the car.

He should have driven more delicately. He should have calculated the distance to the cars ahead more safely. He should have prepared his overtakes more cautiously. He’d let his guard down because he thought he could do well, because his condition was so good, because the thrill of that early overtake was so exhilarating.

He could have consoled himself by saying it was just bad luck, but instead Ryeoun reviewed his own race that had ended in a futile retirement. Even bad luck—isn’t that part of a driver’s skill? In F1, the process doesn’t matter. Only the records remain.

Ryeoun kept his face submerged in the ice water for a long time.

Flecks of resentment with nowhere to go swirled around Ryeoun.

∞ ∞ ∞

There was a little time before the second race, the Chinese Grand Prix in Shanghai.

Arriving in Shanghai, Ryeoun sprawled out on the hotel bed and stared blankly at the ceiling. He always felt good coming to the Chinese or Japanese Grands Prix, but today was completely different. His insides were far too complicated.

Since becoming an F1 driver, he’d never disliked the Australian Grand Prix. It was the season opener that signaled the start of the season, and with the Melbourne circuit’s characteristics allowing for high speeds, racing there was always enjoyable. After tasting defeat at that very Melbourne circuit, sighs kept piling up one after another.

The Shanghai circuit is trickier than Melbourne. It has many unique corners, making tire management no easy task. Strategy mattered, of course, but so did the driver’s personal condition and the racing car’s setup.

For Ryeoun, one of the drivers with excellent cornering feel, the Shanghai circuit offered as much enjoyment as it did difficulty. The long straights were also an advantage, allowing for planned overtakes.

‘I can do well, right…’

But to be honest, after that bitter retirement at the Melbourne circuit, Ryeoun’s confidence had taken a slight dip.

He didn’t want to make any other excuses.

F1 drivers are pushed to their limits every single time. Whether mental or physical, it wouldn’t be wrong to say that surpassing those limits is their primary duty.

So he didn’t want to blame others. There was nothing to gain from doing so anyway. Ryeoun forced himself to shake off those uncomfortable pieces from his mind.

Since the schedule from Melbourne to Shanghai was tight, Ryeoun’s agenda wasn’t too packed. Today, all he had to do was minimize jet lag and fatigue and maintain good condition.

Tomorrow, once he felt a bit better, he planned to head to the trailer to run the simulator. He also needed to stop by the motorhome for a massage and a strategy meeting. He had to lay out tire management plans and contingency responses for various situations in advance.

The team principal, Rowan, had called Ryeoun aside separately after the Australian Grand Prix.

‘Don’t get buried in the retirement.’

His request was simple. Retirements can happen at any time throughout a Grand Prix, so don’t get hung up on that one incident.

Since the retirement wasn’t caused by Ryeoun’s mistake, the team members also said nothing but words of comfort. That made him feel even worse, like he was going out of his mind.

Ryeoun sighed and confessed honestly to Rowan.

‘I don’t get along with Aiden.’

‘I know.’

‘The retirement in this race wasn’t because of that bastard, but if things keep going like this, I can’t help but be affected.’

‘Woon, listen to me carefully. You two are teammates. And at the same time, you’re rivals. If you and Ed were on different teams, do you think you wouldn’t have to deal with him? As you get used to racing and your results improve, you’ll naturally end up facing Ed. Because that bastard is a World Champion.’

‘….’

‘Do what you need to do. We saw great potential in you, and we boldly chose you over other experienced drivers. We judged that you’d also fit our team’s style well. And actually, you showed good form at Horizon too. We don’t want to place a heavy burden on you. If you’re feeling pressure about the Constructors’ Championship, put it down right now. As long as you adapt well, we’ll fly much higher than we are now. Challenging for the Constructors’ title can come later. Focus on developing.’

‘But Aiden doesn’t seem to think that way, does he?’

Those words had risen all the way to his throat…

Helix isn’t a charity. They, too, had essentially bet on Ryeoun’s potential. Still, it would be a lie to say he wasn’t grateful for Rowan’s words. In the world of F1, where astronomical sums of money change hands, it meant they would believe in him and watch over him.

At any rate, he couldn’t cause trouble for the Helix team members who tried their best not to put pressure on him and supported him with everything they had. That was Ryeoun’s conclusion.

Let’s stop thinking about the relationship with Aiden. Erase the Australian Grand Prix from his mind too. It’s all in the past anyway. Isn’t forgetting everything the only way to move forward?

But just as Ryeoun had steeled his resolve, a massive obstacle appeared before him.

It was a message from the PR team, received before boarding the flight to Shanghai.

[There will be a simple shoot on Wednesday on the hotel rooftop. It’s light driver content for the team’s MyTube channel. Since both drivers will be shooting together, please be on time. A few interview questions are prepared. Nothing difficult, so come relaxed. Oh, and don’t forget to wear your uniform!]

Upon receiving that message, Ryeoun felt a wave of fatigue wash over him.

Becoming an F1 driver is no simple task. It means that it’s not all just about racing around the circuit, pressing pedals, and turning the steering wheel.

Attending sponsor events and appearing in various media are part of the natural duties. Much like K-pop idols, drivers meet and communicate with fans and hold autograph sessions.

Each team operates various social media accounts, including Instagram, MyTube, and Bluebird. It’s common to carve out time for shoots to produce content for those platforms.

These content shoots are great for exposing sponsor logos, and they also make it easy to show driver relationships and gain fan support.

Suffering through packed schedules like celebrities to appease fans’ disappointment and attract media attention is something every F1 driver in this era has to endure.

He had completely forgotten about the content shoot with his teammate—the most central one of all. No, to be precise, “wanted to forget” would be more accurate. He knew full well that the team would never forget such a shoot.

When Ryeoun was with Horizon, the chemistry between Ryeoun and Alex was quite famous. Fans called them “Reice.” A combination of Rey and Alex—a kind of couple name.

The Reice couple’s chemistry shifted from father and son, to teacher and student, to close older-brother-next-door and younger brother, to solid teammates.

Fans might have been disappointed in Horizon’s performance, but they had never once been disappointed in the big and small content featuring the two drivers. That was something Ryeoun knew well from occasionally monitoring it himself.

“With that bastard, I’ll be lucky if we don’t end up grabbing each other by the collar…”

Rolling around on the bed, Ryeoun muttered to himself.