I’m Not Doing This With A Friend Chapter 148

 

I dusted off my hands, watching Erhan’s visit.

 

How funny he looked, with his soul half-expelled.

 

“It’s nothing.”

 

“Leen.”

 

When I glanced at Carson for an explanation, he spoke up.

 

“What will you do if Erhan doesn’t pay you back in time?”

 

“…”

 

“I don’t mean if he can’t pay, I mean within the time frame.”

 

There’s no way Erhan would be able to pay back that much money.

 

And since it’s a promissory note, not a bond issued by the government, he couldn’t borrow for more than a few years.

 

A promissory note technically has a maximum term of three years.

 

“Actually, I knew he couldn’t pay it back, but I agreed to it anyway, because if I hadn’t, the Armeria estate would have ended up in someone else’s hands.”

 

I shrugged my shoulders lightly.

 

“To hold on to it for the time being.”

 

Come to think of it, the period of time between being betrayed by Erhan and suffering in the Armeria Countship was similar.

 

At the end of it all, I felt a rush of relief when I thought of Erhan, who had realized my situation and was begging before me.

 

“After the term ends, I don’t know. I haven’t thought about that yet.”

 

Carson tugged at the ends of my hair.

 

“You’re not going to tell your aunt until the end?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

I hadn’t told my aunt and Luca what I had been feeling during my childhood.

 

And I had no intention of telling them now.

 

I smiled bitterly and said, “Erhan is my Aunt’s son.”

 

“And you’re her daughter, Leen.”

 

“…I’m not my aunt’s daughter, I’m just her niece. I don’t want me to break the peace of their home.”

 

Speaking in a patronizing tone made the reality seem even colder.

 

Carson’s mouth clenched and parted several times before he finally spat out a question.

 

“Don’t you think your aunt is not your family?”

 

“…She is family.”

 

“Leen, you said your dream was to have a close-knit family.”

 

His lips pursed firmly and said, “So to you, your aunt isn’t the kind of family that will ever be broken up, that you can turn to in times of trouble?”

 

“She’s fragile. You’d be shocked.”

 

“And you’re strong?”

 

I was at a loss for words. I’d broken down time and time again in front of Carson, and lying wasn’t going to work anymore.

 

He strokes my hair affectionately.

 

“Your aunt would want you to lean on her.”

 

As I did. My pupils flutter as I stare at Carson.

 

“…I only need you.”

 

I really do.

🍃

 

Clutching Carson’s sleeve, I gazed at the estate of Count Armeria.

 

“It’s been a long time.”

 

I’d lived there for years, and yet it felt so familiar.

 

I hadn’t visited since my first year. Now the Duke of Lysianthus was considered my home.

 

In fact, it was the first place I thought of when I realized that it was time to return home to the Lysianthus estate.

 

Carson’s gaze lifts from my overworked hands to lock eyes with mine.

 

“You haven’t seen your Aunt in a long time, have you?”

 

“Yes. I’ve only sent my regards in letters.”

 

He brings up another topic, as if to lighten the mood.

 

“So, Leen, when are you leaving for Abascanthus?”

 

“About the time my letter arrives, which is pretty quick with your space traveling magic.”

 

We decided to accept Kun’s invitation.

 

It was a bit odd, since Carson had never been invited.

 

With his status, he would be treated, not ignored.

 

Staying at the imperial residence was a bit of a burden, so I sent a letter asking to stay at Grand Duke Caris’s residence, as he was kind enough to offer.

 

My letter also has another purpose.

 

I wanted to stay at the Grand Duke’s mansion, get to know him a bit, and then bring up the subject.

 

So I decided to spend some time in the capital while the letter was being delivered to Abascanthus.

 

Now I was at the Count of Armeria and Carson to see my Aunt and Luca.

 

Now there was nothing at the Count’s that I needed to avoid. If Erhan avoided me, I would shun him. 

 

Releasing the sleeve I was clutching, I reached for Carson’s hand.

 

“Shall we go now?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

He smiled as if it was pleasant to hold my hand.

 

And so, after alerting the guards to our arrival, we were waiting…

 

Suddenly, I felt Carson’s body stiffen.

 

“Caon?”

 

I looked at Carson in surprise, and he met my gaze with a stunned expression.

 

“…Leen.”

 

“What’s wrong, is something the matter?”

 

“Come to think of it, isn’t this the same as asking my father-in-law’s permission to marry you?”

 

“What? Hahaha!”

 

“Don’t just laugh…!”

 

“Haha, you’re so cute.”

 

I couldn’t believe that was the only reason he was nervous.

 

Carson chewed his lip nervously, “What if your Aunt doesn’t like me…?”

 

“It’s not like you won’t marry me if my Aunt disapproves, is it?”

 

Unlike me, who was relaxed, he was nervous.

 

“Leen, I’m saying I don’t think she’d hate you, too.”

 

Oh, no. He’s a quick study.

 

My Aunt had heard rumors that Carson liked me, and she’d written me a letter full of worry. It was obvious that she didn’t think Carson was a very good match.

 

He had the money and the family name, so if there was a problem, it was his personality.

 

‘Personality.’

 

Jealousy gets the best of me, and I’m a little tired of it… It’s hard to stop it when it’s not working its magic.

 

Even the Duke and Duchess are getting on my case.

 

At the very least, the Duchess seems to be a little more polite. I glanced over at Carson. His face was the same as always.

 

Just looking at his face suddenly filled me with positive thoughts.

 

…Shouldn’t he just be good to me, no matter what his personality was?

 

It’s much better than someone who’s nice to everyone else and only treats me badly.

 

Besides, he’s got a charming face. I was so busy admiring his face that I spat out the words as they came out, bypassing my brain.

 

“It’s okay, once she sees your face, she’ll understand why I chose you.”

 

“Is that why…?”

 

“Is there another reason?”

 

Carson fell silent at my assurance.

 

It was then.

 

“Leen!”

 

The gates of the mansion flew open, and my Aunt rushed out.

 

She was lightly dressed and wearing house shoes, a sign of her haste. She threw her arms around me.

 

“Oh, Leen. Leen… it’s been so long… I thought I’d never see you again.”

 

Hearing my Aunt’s trembling voice, I feel a pit in my stomach.

 

I tried to keep my composure, choosing the most benign greeting possible.

 

“You’ve been well, haven’t you?”

 

“Healthy as can be. With the herbs you sent me, I’ll live to be a hundred.”

 

Smiling sheepishly, I glanced behind her and asked, “And how is Uncle?”

 

“Sorry, He’s still at the palace for work. If he had known you were coming today, he would have taken the day off.”

 

“It’s a good thing I didn’t.”

 

“By the way, Leen. This person who came with you…”

 

“Oh.”

 

I gestured to Carson, slightly distancing myself from my Aunt.

 

“Allow me to introduce him, Auntie. This is the man I’m in a relationship with.”

 

Carson smiled a pleasant smile and bowed his head.

 

Given his status, it would have been enough to simply extend his hand, but he must have wanted to look good.

 

“Hello, Auntie. I’ve heard so much about you from Leen. I apologize, I should have come to see you before.”

 

Auntie’s eyes flicker as she looks at Carson.

 

“May I ask your name…”

 

Carson, speaking in cyanide, pauses and looks at me. I tilted my head with a what-are-you-doing expression.

 

“…My name is Carson Lysianthus.”

 

I winced.

 

My aunt swayed as if her legs gave out. Carson quickly helped her to her feet.

 

“Are you all right?”

 

“Tha— thank you.”

 

Auntie hurriedly regained her balance, her face white with exhaustion.

 

Then she opened her mouth to speak, trying to sound casual.

 

“Look at my behavior. We have two very important guests, and we should be taking them inside, not here.”

 

She gestures to the butler, who has been waiting for us.

 

It’s a strange feeling to be in the position of being ushered in. I felt like a stranger in a different house.

 

As I started walking to follow the butler, I felt someone grab my wrist. A hand came up to me and pulled my wrist.

 

“…Leen, can we have a moment alone?”

 

I hesitated and looked at Carson. I felt bad for him, being alone in a strange place.

 

As if sensing my thoughts, my Aunt turned to Carson and asked.

 

“Just stay inside. Please.”

 

He grinned and opened his mouth.

 

“In the meantime, do you mind if I look around the mansion? I’m curious, since I believe it was Leen’s home.”

 

🍃

 

I sat back in my chair in the sitting room and heard my Aunt’s voice.

 

“I had hoped that the rumors of your affair with the Duke of Carson were not true.”

 

Again…

 

“Aunt. As I said in my letter, Caon is not as bad as the rumors say.”

 

“I know I shouldn’t believe rumors. But you need to be careful.”

 

“Auntie.”

 

“Same with Rex.”

 

I narrowed my eyes in surprise at the mention of Rex.

 

“I didn’t believe them when they said he killed the Duchess of Begonia. Not even when the Duke was dead, and now.”

 

Fortunately, she still didn’t seem to know what had happened between him and me.

 

“If I had known he was like that, I would never have let him associate with you, let alone Erhan.”

 

“Aunt…”

 

“Leen, I don’t care what Lysianthus does to our family, as long as I can save you. I’m sure your uncle feels the same way, so…”

 

My Aunt didn’t finish her sentence. But I could easily guess her next words.

 

She gripped my hand firmly, her eyes stern.

 

I always thought of her as a frail woman who needed to be protected.

 

Maybe I was mistaken.

 

“Carson is the one I love, Auntie. The only person I can confide in.”

 

Auntie stared into my eyes, as if to confirm the truth.

 

“The only… yes, that’s it.”

 

I could see a hint of bitterness and relief in her eyes as she confirmed my sincerity.

 

Somehow, I could hear the sound of my heart in my ears.

 

If I was going to tell her the truth, now was my chance.