I’m Not Doing This With A Friend Chapter 172 - Side Story 11

Carson stared blankly at the spot where Leen had left him, and then his legs gave out, and he fell to the ground.

 

Everywhere. It felt like the world was falling apart.

 

He had known that Leen’s attention had been focused on having a child lately.

 

She’d even suggested that he might consider going off the birth control he’d been taking.

 

On a recent date to the local market, she couldn’t take her eyes off the little ones.

 

But I didn’t expect it to come out of nowhere like this.

 

When she asked me if I wanted to have kids, I confidently told her it was ridiculous.

 

“I didn’t mean to sound so harsh, either.”

 

A child who looked like Leen? It was adorable to imagine, and he couldn’t wait to meet one himself.

 

But there were two main reasons why he was afraid to have children of his own.

 

One was the trouble that would arise if the child looked exactly like him.

 

Of course, looking like her wouldn’t stop Leen’s lifeblood from flowing, so it would be adorable.

 

The real problem here was…

 

Personality…

 

Carson thought back to his own childhood and shook his head thoughtfully.

 

“I used to drive my parents apart and tease my father.”

 

‘I would purposely sleep between my parents whenever my dad would try to set the atmosphere.’

 

I’d embarrass my dad by asking him how children are made, even though I knew everything.

 

Pretending to lose control and practicing magic here and there.

 

“I burned quite a few of my father’s important papers in the process…”

 

It was only because his father, the sole heir to Lysianthus, had sent him to the Academy in the first place that he was able to survive.

 

Of course, he wasn’t sure whether he wanted to follow the Duke’s orders or not, but at the time, he was bored with his life in the Duchy, so he chose to enroll.

 

Carson shuddered to think that what he had done in the past might come back to haunt him.

 

Never!

 

Leen and I have been happily married for two years without a major fight.

 

But what if the child was clever, just like her, and tried to steal her mother?

 

It’s a childish idea, but the thought of losing Leen to someone else makes him bitter.

 

He was happy enough with his life as it was, he didn’t need to take the risk of having a child.

 

And another thing.

 

The biggest reason against having children.

 

As he had explained to Leen, Carson hated the thought of her body being damaged by having a child.

 

Leen was also sensitive to pain due to a childhood trauma.

 

Would she be able to handle the pain of childbirth?

 

Women often died in childbirth, so the possibility of what might happen troubled him.

 

If Leen died, he wasn’t sure he could go on living.

 

With what loss, and how?

 

Carson steeled his heart, which had been tattered by Leen’s declaration.

 

“…No children. Not even as long as I live to wither and die.”

 

💍 

 

It’s been two weeks since Leen and Caon began sharing a room.

 

Leen thinks Carson holds up pretty well, and they’ve decided to implement their plan one by one.

 

Leen says, “He’s been on medication for two years now, so it would be weird for him to succumb to a bunch of pills.”

 

I understood what Carson was worried about.

 

In theory, I get it, but I struggle to empathize.

 

He would…

 

“I’m the one who’s going to have the baby, so why are you so scared?”

 

Leen wanted to have a child that looked like both her and Carson.

 

As she had mentioned to Carson many times, it had been a longtime dream of hers to have children and raise a family like her parents.

 

“I’m sorry, Caon. We haven’t even started step one yet.”

 

Leen forced a wry smile, remembering the half-asleep Carson who had been unable to make love to her.

 

It was the kind of laugh she had when she was teasing him.

 

💍 

 

Carson screamed inwardly, ‘Why did this ordeal have to happen to me…’

 

It was hard to spend the night alone in a bed without Leen’s warmth, but it was possible.

 

For the sake of his peaceful future and Leen’s safety, he was willing to suffer now.

 

But…

 

“Caon, are you sleeping?”

 

The moment Leen walked into the room, wrapped in a futon, Carson felt a great sense of crisis.

 

‘Oh, dear heavens.’

 

He instinctively knew what Leen was hiding under the covers.

 

Gritting his teeth, Carson desperately began to feign sleep.

 

He even sang the national anthem in his mind, trying to summon up the patriotism he didn’t have.

 

But despite his best efforts, Leen crawled into the room and slammed the door behind them.

 

Gulp—

 

Carson swallowed hard as he was overwhelmed with emotion.

 

He realized that the sharp-eyed Leen had already realized that he was pretending to be asleep.

 

But he continued to pretend.

 

It was the best option for him.

 

Leen walked over to Carson and sat down on the bed, stroking his hair affectionately.

 

“Caon, are we going to have a baby today?”

 

Swish—

 

The sound of her covers falling to the floor was clear in Carson’s ears.

 

To be forced to pretend to sleep in the presence of a seductive Leen.

 

It tasted like death.

 

He wished he could just pass out and let this moment pass.

 

“You won’t answer. That’s it.”

 

When Carson continued to feign sleep, Leen leaned over him and nibbled lightly on his earlobe, urging him to answer.

 

“Answer me, honey.”

 

“Hm…”

 

Carson finally made a sound and, realizing that this was the end of him, pulled the quilt up to his head.

 

He used it as a shield to hide underneath.

 

It was a flimsy shield, but it was effective in that he didn’t have to face Leen directly.

 

Beneath the covers, he squeezed his eyes shut and covered his ears, wishing this ordeal would end.

 

Leen, meanwhile, let out a small chuckle as she watched Carson hide behind the covers.

 

He was so cute in every way, even the way he gritted his teeth and held on.

 

Seeing that, Leen decided to give him a chance.

 

“I lost today, but it won’t be easy next time.”

 

Leen wrapped the blanket around herself and left the room in a leisurely manner.

 

She still had a few tricks up her sleeve.

 

💍 

 

The Duke received word from Leen that Carson and the baby were at each other’s throats.

 

He smirked and immediately summoned his son, Carson.

 

At the Duke’s summons, Carson was tempted to ignore him.

 

But he realized that this was a face he would have to see at some point, so he sought out the Duke’s office.

 

“I hear you’ve been sharing a room with Leen lately.”

 

“Wipe that smile off your face, darned father, this is a serious matter for me.”

 

Sure enough, the Duke’s mouth was twitching with a smile he couldn’t hide.

 

It was a laugh that was filled with a sense of relief, as if a weight had been lifted.

 

Carson’s face, on the other hand, grew grim as he watched.

 

“If you called me here to tease me, I’ll leave.”

 

Just as he was about to turn his back and leave the room, the Duke’s lips moved.

 

“I heard you fought about having a child. Leen has been complaining to me and Sylvia.”

 

“…Then it must have passed already.”

 

“Of course not. I’m always on my daughter-in-law’s side.”

 

Carson, who had always thought that Leen was the only person he needed by his side, felt a pang in the pit of his stomach.

 

Probably because Leen wasn’t around now either. I never realized how lonely it is to be alone.

 

The Duke looked at his son, who had grown thinner in recent weeks, and smirked, gesturing to the couch in his office.

 

“I won’t make fun of you, so sit down. Perhaps I can help you with your troubles.”

 

Carson looked at his father in disbelief, then flopped down on the couch in a heap.

 

“What is it.”

 

“I was skeptical about having children at first, too. I thought we could just adopt an heir and be done with it.”

 

“Very fatherly.”

 

“But when Sylvia became pregnant with you and gave birth, that was quickly dispelled.”

 

The Duke’s eyes slowly lowered as if reminiscing.

 

“You have no idea how lovely you were, the fruit of my and Sylvia’s love.”

 

“But you must have regretted it for years, until I grew up.”

 

The Duke raised one eyebrow as if to ask what he was talking about.

 

“I think you misunderstand me, Carson. I have never, not once, regretted having you.”

 

“…What?”

 

“I’ve loved you all along, I just never expressed it.”