I’m Not Doing This With A Friend Chapter 63

🌸

 

Jane bit her lip, stopping herself from speaking.

 

“No, it’s not. I’ve got enough on my plate with Fjord right now, but we can talk about it later.” (Leen)

 

I remembered having a similar conversation the other day.

 

Was what she was going to say then the same thing she was going to say now?

 

“Is it bad?”

 

She smiled bitterly at the question.

 

“Maybe.”

 

I felt a twinge of anxiety, wondering if Fjord would be the first to leave, followed by Jane.

 

“You’re not telling me you’re leaving the Academy, are you?” (Leen)

 

“I’m not leaving the Academy.”

 

“Then tell me when you’re ready. I’ll be waiting.” (Leen)

 

Jane’s eyes trembled, “Thank you, Leen. And…”

 

‘I’m sorry.’

 

I couldn’t hear the rest of her words because I was too distracted by the way she opened and closed her fists.

 

It was the kind of thing she did when she faced a situation that made her want to run away.

 

🌸

 

Leen ran through the halls tap, tap, tap differently than usual.

 

Her face was reflected in the glass windows.

 

She was out of breath, or maybe it was something to do with her emotions, but both of her cheeks were flushed.

 

Leen deliberately stiffened her facade, not wanting to give away her feelings of excitement to Carson.

 

Today was the day Leen was supposed to accompany Carson to the desert store after school.

 

Seeing that Leen’s mood had been down lately, Carson said ‘no’ and pulled out a trick.

His ploy worked.

 

The mere thought of going for a cookie lifted a lot of her depressing feelings.

 

Leen walked to an area less frequented by students. She wanted to reach her destination a little faster.

 

It was while she was walking briskly that a familiar silhouette caught her eye.

 

A girl she recognized from the academy.

 

And…

 

Fjord, who was locking lips with the girl.

 

Leen paused in her tracks and stared at the scene.

 

‘Wow. This is the same Fjord I knew. I guess old habits die hard…?’

 

The feeling of guilt at witnessing a friend’s clandestine affairs was short-lived.

 

It was somehow reassuring to see him the way he was before.

 

Leen moved carefully past them, keeping her footsteps quiet.

 

No, she tried to pass them.

 

Fjord’s eyelids lifted, and his dark green eyes met hers.

 

Fjord’s eyes widened at the sight of someone he never expected to see.

 

Leen was equally taken aback.

 

Ugh, oh, um…

 

“Sorry to disturb you. Please finish what you’re doing.” (Leen)

 

With that, Leen scurried away. She ran for a long time.

 

Perhaps it was time to slow down, thinking that it would be fine to walk slowly now.

 

Fjord, who had caught up to her, grabbed her shoulder and pulled her to a halt.

 

“Leen!”

 

Leen flinched, even as she realized that it was Fjord who was holding her hand.

 

The action was reflexive.

 

Surprised by the rather strong reaction, Fjord quickly apologized.

 

“I’m sorry. I was in a hurry.” 

 

“It’s okay.” (Leen)

 

Leen stretched and looked at him, then noticed something was odd and looked around.

 

He had abandoned the girl he had been with earlier and followed her.

 

Leen stared at him, slightly dazed, “Hey, are you…” (Leen)

 

“Oh, it’s a misunderstanding.”

 

Fjord interrupted her, calling it a misunderstanding.

 

“What?” (Leen)

 

“What you just saw. Whatever you’re thinking, Leen, it’s a misunderstanding.”

 

“What misunderstanding…? That you like the girl, or that you’re toying with her?” (Leen)

 

Fjord was speechless, unable to form any words.

 

“I’m sorry that I happened to witness that moment, but I won’t interfere with your privacy. Don’t worry.” (Leen)

 

No prying eyes. Leen didn’t seem to mind that he was making out with another girl.

Her tone sounded like it had nothing to do with her.

 

For some reason, the words stabbed him in the chest.

 

“But I’m curious. I thought you said you weren’t going to date anyone anymore?” (Leen)

 

“…I’m getting married.”

 

Leen was surprised.

 

She thought it was a casual fling, but she didn’t think he had feelings for a girl to the point of marriage.

 

But at the same time, she wondered.

 

“Then why are you making excuses in front of me, Fjord? What misunderstanding are you trying to clear up?” (Leen)

 

Fjord’s jaw clenched again at the question.

 

There was no misunderstanding to clear up. Following Leen had been an instinctive act. It felt like he had to.

 

The words that followed were filled with emotion he didn’t recognize.

 

“I know. I wonder what misunderstanding I wanted to clear up.”

 

Fjord laughed self-deprecatingly and walked away. It was a hollow gesture.

 

He hadn’t actually mingled with anyone from a truly powerful family before this moment.

 

‘It would have come back to haunt me.’ Fjord thought.

 

He’d only dated women from families that he could moderately benefit from.

 

This time, however, he found himself engaged to a noble daughter of a marquis whose flourishing business was now in full swing.

 

He hadn’t lied to Leen when he told her: this time, he intended to marry that girl. So that he could borrow her family’s power.

 

That way, he would be able to stand up to his brother.

 

After all, arranged marriages were common in the nobility. It was a future that wouldn’t change, except for a few years.

 

But why do I feel like I’m on the wrong path?

 

Was it the guilt of taking advantage of someone’s innocence?

 

But I’ve done it countless times before. The guilt had never seemed so great before.

 

Suddenly, I remembered how Leen used to call me an incorrigible scumbag.

 

After a while, she upgraded the nickname to burnable trash.

 

I could still see the smirk on her face as she called me shortened versions of trash and scum.

 

She was right. He was trash. Maybe he just wanted to be good enough for Leen.

 

Now that he thought about it, he felt miserable.

 

‘What’s the point of being a good person?’

 

There’s nothing to be gained by doing so.

 

🌸 

 

“Caon. We’re in different classes, but someone might think we’re in the same class.” (Leen)

 

“It’s okay.”

 

“No, it’s not okay.” (Leen)

 

We were in the midst of an argument in the middle of the training ground, and it was during regular class time.

 

My class overlapped with Carson’s because the timetable hadn’t been finalized yet.

 

All eyes were on us as he stuck to my side like glue.

 

I was glad it was just Carson. Even Kun was hovering around me like nothing else.

 

“Caon. Go to your class.” (Leen)

 

I said sternly, and Kun turned to me, looking pleased.

 

“Didn’t you hear Leen telling you to go?”

 

Carson turned to me pleadingly, not even listening to Kun’s words.

 

“It’s not often we meet in class like this, are you really going to kick me out?”

 

“If it wasn’t class time, I wouldn’t kick you out, at least.” 

 

I raised an eyebrow. This time it was Kun.

 

“Kun, you need to stop being a prick around me and do your own thing.” (Leen)

 

“It’s my free time, isn’t it?”

 

“You’re making me feel uncomfortable, so please move away.” (Leen)

 

The corners of Kun’s mouth dropped in shock.

 

Carson, on the other hand, stares at Kun with a sneer, one corner of his mouth twitching upward.

 

“Some people in your class complain about being uncomfortable.”

 

“Well, Carson, you’re no different from me in the fact that it’s the same thing.”

 

“Yeah, well, keep up the mental victory.”

 

I watched them bicker childishly, then grabbed Jane’s hand and led her to a corner of the training room.

 

Not having Carson and Kun around me would be a great distraction.

 

…and then instead, Carson stares intently at me from a distance.

 

The other kids followed his gaze as he observed something intensely.

 

In the end, his gaze fell on me at the end.

 

What was the point of all of this?

 

With a firm grimace, I looked at Carson. I was about to give him a nudge to look away.

 

When our eyes met, he smiled broadly and waved.

 

Like a puppy greeting its master, I grinned back, forgetting about my earlier warning.

 

This time, I felt like I’d lost. How could I say anything to such a beaming smile?

 

It was a shame because Carson’s beauty scheme seemed to be working even better these days.

 

“Sooner or later, I’m going to have to practice spitting on his smiling face.” (Leen)

 

“Oh! I’m good at that!”

 

After hearing my random ramblings, Jane excitedly offered to be my practice partner.

 

Needless to say, I had to calm her down by telling her it was a joke.

 

Well, who knew that was her thing?

 

After Jane mellowed out, we chatted about things, and my attention was suddenly drawn to Fjord.

 

Carson and Fjord’s classmate, Van, had also gotten some free time and were working out.

 

Fjord was dueling with some surrounding kids with a blunt sword designed for training.

 

It was the first time I’d ever seen him handle a sword properly.

 

I nudged Jane, “The sword looks surprisingly good on Fjord, doesn’t it?”

 

“Yes. It’s funny how it looks like it’s made for a man.”

 

He gripped the sword and looked as free as a fish out of water. His face radiated joy.

 

The pleasure on his face was obvious. I should have recognized it from the way he handled the sword as if it were his life in the clubroom.

 

It felt so different from his usual studying.

 

He was so blinded by revenge that he didn’t seem to know what he really wanted.

 

Now that I think about it, Fjord told me the other day that he didn’t need the title of Marquis.

 

If that was the case, then he must have gotten himself into this mess out of anger at his brother alone.

 

So was the marriage.

 

When I witnessed Fjord’s clandestine affairs, I was shocked and didn’t think much of it. But in hindsight, it was obvious.

 

Fjord didn’t like the girl, he was probably after her family’s power or money.

 

I had my doubts. 

 

After dedicating his life to getting revenge on his brother, what would Fjord have left?

 

Closing my eyes slowly, I thought. A sigh escaped my lips when I opened them again.

 

“It’s futile.”

 

It doesn’t seem like the right thing for me to say, haunted by the past.

 

Just then, Jane elbowed me in the side as if she’d spotted something.

 

“Leen, look. That’s the girl I told you to be careful with.”

 

Naturally, I looked where she pointed with her chin.