My Alpha Era Began with Gongjindan Chapter 4

That night, I spent a truly agonizing dawn. The heat cycle that I had been putting off with acupuncture and medication finally broke through.

My body burned as if I had a fever. Heat rose to my face, and my breathing became short. Even from places that shouldn’t normally secrete, fluid leaked out.

I was on the verge of suffocating from my own pheromones filling my room. Ugh, that sickening sandalwood scent.

I filled the bathtub with water and tried my best to calm the situation, but even soaking in cold water only made things worse. My rationality gradually blurred, and the desire to thrust into something below began to take over.

I wanted to find something and fill myself with it. Even though I’m not usually that sexually driven, during this period those urges would arise.

I recall there being some peculiar research paper about intelligent people being weak to pleasure—it seemed that data was indeed reliable.

“Ah, hnn….”

A pitiful sound that I couldn’t believe was coming from me escaped my lips.

I was alone in the house right now, but out of embarrassment I bit my lower lip hard. Fumbling, I reached my hand down and grasped my genital. As I stroked my already erect shaft up and down, the water filling the tub sloshed and spilled over.

I raised my fingertip and stimulated the urethral opening. My bluntly cut nails, clumsy at masturbation, slid uselessly over my shaft a couple of times.

I rubbed the front frantically like an adolescent boy unable to control his sexual urges, but unfortunately, I couldn’t ejaculate easily.

I really wanted to cry. Normally, just touching the front would be enough, but when the heat cycle came, I needed other stimulation.

The sense of futility I felt when I bought an adult sex toy with my own hands…. While sexual desire is to some extent a natural urge for humans, times like this made me feel truly beastly and filled me with self-loathing.

Leaning back in the tub, I pushed my hand into my already softened lower part.

Unlike touching the front, the act of thrusting into the back never became familiar no matter how many times I did it. I had no idea how other omegas endure this insane act every month.

The thin thread of rationality remaining scattered away like dust. No matter how hard I tried to keep my mouth shut, moaning sounds escaped.

No matter how many fingers I added, my own hand couldn’t reach the parts I could properly feel. From my still erect shaft, which hadn’t ejaculated, clear pre-cum dripped down.

Tears naturally came to my eyes. I couldn’t bear the sorrow of this entire situation.

But what was worse was that once a heat cycle broke out, it wouldn’t end unless properly relieved.

I crawled out of the bathroom wearing only a bathrobe, curled up on the bed, and pulled the blanket over myself.

There was a dildo well-sealed in my drawer, but I didn’t want to take it out and use it. Not being accustomed to such things even at this age, I couldn’t even manage insertion by myself. As a result, I just buried my face in the bedsheet and continued groaning.

But whether I liked it or not, there was no other way. Dignity can only be maintained after you survive. Dying from a heat cycle because I couldn’t masturbate with insertion was truly horrifying.

In the end, I took out a medium-sized dildo that was easier to insert. In my head, I was sobbing about how this was happening to me, but my body, betraying my mind, trembled with anticipation for the stimulation to come.

I pushed the dildo into my already thoroughly wet and loosened opening.

Just as when I had tried with my fingers earlier, inserting something in there was never easy. No matter how I think about it, the fact that humans succeeded in reproduction is truly a mystery of biology.

After fumbling for a long time because my hands kept slipping, I finally managed to push the dildo in about halfway. I knew that going deeper would reach the pleasurable spot, but inserting further than that was frightening.

Hunched over, I grasped my front again and stroked it. As the mild stimulation in the rear continued, my erect genital finally spat out thick semen with a gush.

“Eu, huk… Ah, hut! Suddenly, why….”

I tried to pull out the half-inserted dildo now that I had ejaculated once, but because I shifted my position badly, the dildo was pushed in a little further.

My mind went white and my vision went dark. The unexpected pleasure made my inner thighs quiver. On top of that, I must have pressed something wrong because the dildo turned on by itself and started buzzing with vibration.

The vibration intensity wasn’t strong, but that actually made it more tormenting. The tickling stimulation recklessly churned the shallow interior. Saliva spilled out along with moans from my unclenched lips.

By the time I fumbled and barely grabbed the end of the dildo to pull it out, I had ejaculated once more. Having discharged semen twice, my beastly body, having not coupled with an alpha, didn’t recognize its owner and craved even more stimulation.

If only there were a trustworthy alpha.

I’ve heard that, though rare, there are alphas and omegas who meet appropriately for mutual relief of desires, even without being lovers. Of course, the problem is that usually that ends with them succumbing to instinct and imprinting.

If there were an alpha I could meet on a purely business basis, at least I wouldn’t have to endure the heat cycle with this kind of insufficient masturbation. But usually, such alphas are unicorns. Meaning they don’t exist in this world.

I looked despondently at the blanket messed up with my bodily fluids.

At this rate, I’d go bankrupt from laundry costs. Since I can’t even dream of using a coin laundry because of pheromones…. Realistic worries soon evaporated, mixed with the endless waves of heat.

What can I do anyway. Let’s think about it after the heat cycle ends.

∞ ∞ ∞

I’m so wronged and resentful I can’t stand it. If Heaven was going to be so heartless as to bestow this estrus upon humanity, it should have made everyone suffer together. It’s against fairness that only a few suffer.

But the world has always been nothing but unfair. I spent the lonely night praying to the omega god to please bring ruin to those dog-like alpha bastards.

After that, I was stuck at home without being able to move a muscle for a whole week.

Doing anything regularly is the healthiest way, but because I had forcibly delayed my heat cycle cycle for quite a long time, the aftermath was no joke. It was similar to the karma of summer homework forcibly put off during vacation coming back on the day before school starts.

Even though I have almost no sexual desire normally, during this period it’s truly hellish. Still, thanks to the numerous herbal medicines I had prepared to manage heat cycles, I was able to get back on my feet within a week.

It was a heat cycle that was bound to break out someday anyway. I couldn’t put it off forever.

I tried to think positively. Since I’m an omega, no matter how much of a genius Korean medicine doctor I am, I can’t completely avoid heat cycles.

So, if I’m going to go through a heat cycle anyway, it’s better to bunch it up and get it over with intensely once every few months. Suffering every month is too inefficient.

The idea that omegas can’t function in society without an alpha is truly outdated.

Imprinting, bonding, whatever—I want to become a self-made Korean medicine doctor, and I have absolutely no intention of becoming some random alpha’s partner.

To repeat, a trustworthy alpha who could help resolve the cycle on a business basis is as rare as a unicorn. In the first place, can ‘trustworthy’ and ‘alpha’ even exist on the same plane?

If so, whether the Ministry of Food and Drug Safety acknowledges it or not, I have no choice but to walk my own path and manage my own energy through my specialty. Even a heat cycle, broadly speaking, is like a qi deviation. If I keep my mind straight, I should be able to control it.

“…Ha, my throat is completely shot.”

When I went outside in my exhausted state, porridge and painkillers were placed in front of my door. It was obvious who had left them.

There’s no way Jung Saebom would do such a cute thing. Occasionally, the aunt next door also looks after me during my heat cycle, but she gives me whole containers of side dishes, not something delicately prepared like porridge.

So, the only one who could do such a charming thing was Jung Pureum. Feeling grateful for my sly neighbor dongsaeng, I picked up the bag containing the porridge and painkillers.

Looking closely, there was also a neatly folded note inside. When I unfolded and read it, it said that since he’s a beta and not affected by pheromones, I should call him anytime if I need anything.

“Anyway, what an adorable kid.”

How is this kid, so pure and gentle, going to survive this harsh world?

I pictured the face of that high school senior who might actually die if I told him to. If only my clinic business were going a little better, I could have hired staff and taken it easy while tutoring Jung Pureum in math.

Even though he’s aiming for physical education and can go as a special talent, if he does well on the CSAT, his university options will be much wider.

I finished the porridge and painkillers and rang the doorbell next door to return the empty container. At this hour, Jung Pureum would be at school.

Moreover, unluckily, the aunt seemed to be out as well. The door opened only a long while after I rang.

Jung Saebom, with her long hair untidily disheveled like a ghost, poked her annoyed face through the gap in the door.

“What? At this hour of the morning.”

“Just returning the container. Your dongsaeng brought me porridge. Cool, right?”

“Just leave it in front. I woke up because of you.”

“What’s with your attitude toward someone older? Even Pureum uses proper honorifics, and you’re lacking.”

“None of my business? I’m Jung Saebom, not Jung Pureum. Jung Pureum does that because he likes you.”

“Pureum does like me a bit, yeah.”

“…Anyway, you sin-ridden bastard.”

Jung Saebom snatched the empty container from my hand and slammed the door in my face.

I’m used to this cold treatment by now. Jung Saebom, Jung Pureum’s biological sister, doesn’t really like me. I don’t know the exact reason, but Jung Saebom had been prickly with me from the very first moment we met.

At first I thought it was because Jung Saebom was an alpha, but she was far too free of prejudice to discriminate against omegas. She took after the aunt next door—the kind of personality that keeps anyone she needs by her side, regardless of gender or trait.

Probably, it’s because her younger brother Jung Pureum follows me more than he follows her. From a sister’s perspective, if her own brother prefers an outsider hyung, it might be a bit unsettling.

I felt oddly empty. Maybe it’s because I couldn’t properly thank the one who gave me the porridge.

If I had known this, I should have returned it later, during a time when Jung Pureum would be home. I wanted to say thank you in person, but not being able to tell him face to face left me feeling a bit unsatisfied.

They’re not really family, but I’m quite close with the people next door. After all, we’ve been seeing each other at least every other day for seven years.

It’s rare for me to be cooped up at home for a whole week like this. Because being bedridden by a heat cycle, of all things, is at least not common for me.

[I ate the porridge well.]

[Hyung will definitely repay you.]

[Study hard.]

I sent a message to Jung Pureum with my last shred of conscience. Whether Jung Pureum actually studies at school or not, the read receipt appeared not long after I sent it.

[Hyung]

[I miss you.]

[Because I couldn’t see you for a whole week.]

For having a read receipt appear immediately, the reply came after a long while. It wasn’t important content, but it was rather ticklish words.

I replied with a meaningless emoticon and thought that I felt a little regretful that I was born an only child. If I had a younger brother, I wished he would be like Jung Pureum.