My Alpha Era Began with Gongjindan Chapter 82

I tried to put myself in Jung Pureum’s shoes and think about how he must feel. If Jung Pureum were eight years older and I was the younger one living next door… just imagining it was quite horrifying.

Jung Pureum, who wouldn’t notice my hints no matter how much I showed interest? Thinking about it again, it’s still the worst. Even if Jung Pureum is usually perceptive, imagining him not getting it even when I kept saying “I like you” properly… how could I even like someone like that?

Thinking back, Jung Pureum had been consistently obvious about his feelings. It was always me who responded to his “I like you, hyung!” with “Oh, I really like you too, as a person.”

It wasn’t intentional. Back then, my social dignity and conscience were still alive and well. If I had found out that Jung Pureum liked me when he was still a minor, I would have definitely run away to preserve my social standing.

But that must have hurt Jung Pureum. One trivial action of mine would have meant a great deal to him.

“…I’m sorry I put you through so much emotional turmoil.”

At my words, Jung Pureum finally reached out and pulled me into a tight embrace. The suffocating hug left me breathless, but the warmth of his body against mine felt good.

Jung Pureum was truly remarkable. Anyone else would have given up and collapsed from exhaustion after I kept putting up walls so cluelessly. It was amazing that we’d made it this far because he hadn’t given up.

Because Jung Pureum had pulled me in so eagerly, our positions had reversed, and now I was the one being held in his arms. I rested my forehead against his chest.

He’d come this far all on his own, struggling every step of the way—of course he’d be anxious about when I might change my attitude again.

This anxiety was much easier for me to understand than blind devotion. When I dealt with Jung Pureum, I too often felt anxious about how easily our relationship could shift with the smallest change.

They say negative feelings arise because of affection. Because you like the other person and want as much attention as you give, you feel jealousy, depression, anxiety—all of it.

These are completely natural emotions. You can’t trust because you love, and you worry more because you care. If humanity were to go extinct due to negative emotions, the source would surely be affection, not hatred or anger.

“But Pureum-ah, hyung isn’t that much of a bad person, is he?”

“…”

“I’m not the kind of guy who says he likes someone eight years younger and then just shuts his mouth overnight.”

As the older one by eight years, I had a duty to comfort Jung Pureum. Since I knew how much that kind of anxiety could churn a person up inside, I couldn’t pretend not to notice.

Just as Jung Pureum had held me firmly, I needed to give him some certainty. The reassurance that I wouldn’t suddenly turn around and pull out of our relationship.

…But I had no idea how to give him that certainty. Shocking! Too much bad karma accumulated!

Looking back, I really had done a lot of terrible things to Jung Pureum. I wanted to grab my past self and ask why. But why? Because back then, it was justified.

“Then, will hyung take responsibility for me to the very end?”

Jung Pureum asked pitifully.

Responsibility? That sounds like a terribly dangerous word… I felt like my past self had thought, “If you say you’ll take responsibility, you’ll have to change your surname.”

But what’s so bad about changing your surname? I nodded in agreement. Instead of Moon Yeonghwa, I’d be Bear Yeonghwa—pretty unique and nice, actually.

“Even if you don’t win a gold medal, it’s not like I can do anything about it.”

“After we date and imprint, will you marry me too?”

“You’re trying to skip ahead in life all of a sudden? After the Olympics, we’ll just date—hey, don’t squeeze so tight! Hyung’s going to burst!”

“But I’ll still bring back a gold medal.”

“Of course, you need to win at least one for the military exemption.”

“I’ll win all three.”

“Sure, dream as big as you want. Just don’t get sick from stress.”

Might as well feel around Jung Pureum’s shoulder while I’m at it. Where exactly does this kid hurt?

Leaning against Jung Pureum, who was holding me, I frantically felt around his shoulder. Even as I kneaded his shoulder, Jung Pureum didn’t let out a single groan.

“Hyung, it’s obvious you’re feeling my shoulder…”

“I’m not feeling it—I’m taking your pulse.”

“It doesn’t hurt outside the water. My bones and ligaments are fine too.”

Come to think of it, he’d seemed perfectly fine when I last saw him. If it only hurts in the water, it seems like some kind of neuropathic pain. For those symptoms, Korean medicine is more direct than Western medicine.

I held onto Jung Pureum and launched into a lengthy speech about the efficacy of moxibustion and the potential of cupping therapy. Jung Pureum listened quietly while holding me tight.

“One session of moxibustion could cure it completely.”

“Really?”

“Of course. I can fix it all. Don’t you trust hyung?”

Physical therapy is great. But for this kind of neuropathic pain, moxibustion and cupping are truly the best. While I was planning out the treatment, Jung Pureum clung to me without moving an inch.

Being held was more comfortable than supporting Jung Pureum’s weight, but something felt off. What was this sensation touching my thigh?

And Jung Pureum’s pheromones were growing stronger. It smelled like fabric softener had been spilled on the floor before going into the washing machine. It was too distinct a scent to be my imagination.

Held in Jung Pureum’s warm embrace, I fell into thought. Given his condition, Jung Pureum was—as expected—right on the verge of a rut. Should I stay like this, or not?

“Pureum-ah, can I ask you something?”

“Yes.”

“Hyung absolutely isn’t trying to harass you… um, what was your last rut?”

“Two months ago.”

“By any chance, are you feeling strange right now? Like your heart is racing, your senses are heightened, and… I look appetizing to you?”

“…”

“I mean, something’s poking my thigh…”

I hadn’t said anything weird—I was just talking about moxibustion on his shoulder, right? Yet Jung Pureum seemed somewhat excited. I couldn’t understand what part of moxibustion could have triggered that.

Maybe the rut, which had been suppressed with medication, had been pulled forward by my influence. I was a bit flustered myself, having inadvertently ended up in Jung Pureum’s arms and covered in his pheromones.

“…Should we save the moxibustion talk for when we’re upstairs?”

If we stayed here any longer, a notice really would go up in the elevator saying “Please refrain from public displays of affection within the apartment complex!” To avoid earning the resentment of the neighbors, I dragged Jung Pureum, who was clinging to me like a leech, and forced my feet to move.

He responded properly when I spoke to him, but Jung Pureum clearly had no intention of letting me go. Even when I huffed and puffed about how hard it was to drag him, he still refused to release me.

Whenever I tried to pry him off, he only held on tighter, so I practically crawled to the elevator. …Huff, puff—save this Korean medicine doctor. How much does this kid weigh? No matter how important weight class is for athletes, this is abuse of a Korean medicine doctor.

I don’t even remember how we made it inside. From the elevator ride alone, Jung Pureum had been groping me, and I was sweating bullets.

If any resident uses the elevator after us, I’d like to offer my apologies as a neighbor. It’s just a rut, so please understand… I’ll go out at dawn and spray some deodorizer or something….

“Alright, sit here. Hyung will definitely develop a rut-suppressing moxibustion and…”

“Hyung…”

I separated Jung Pureum from me and sat him down on the living room sofa. Even though the weather was chilly, I was sweating from the sudden physical exertion.

As I struggled out of my outerwear, Jung Pureum naturally reached out toward me. I slightly pulled back because of the sweat, and Jung Pureum’s eyebrows drooped downward.

“Why are you avoiding me?”

“Calm down. I’m sweaty from holding you up.”

“I don’t mind, though.”

“But I do.”

I coaxed and soothed Jung Pureum, telling him to wait while I washed up. Normally, he would have said “Okay!” and waited obediently by now, but today he kept whining.

He looked like he’d follow me all the way to the bathroom, so I couldn’t push him away any further. Option A: Let him watch me shower vs. Option B: Take the supposedly “fine” guy to bed… Option B won by a landslide.

I’ll definitely develop a rut-suppressing moxibustion and win the Nobel Prize in Korean Medicine—really.

With that thought, I laid Jung Pureum down on the bed. I’d lead Jung Pureum through his rut with style and make his body incapable of feeling any anxiety.

∞ ∞ ∞

Actually, Jung Pureum wasn’t the type to lose his reason or degenerate into a beast just because a rut came on.

There are individual differences, of course, but Jung Pureum only suffered physically during his rut cycle—his mind remained perfectly clear. Is a human who can’t control their desires really human? That would be a beast.

The widespread prejudice that alphas and omegas lose consciousness and throw themselves at each other during certain cycles is due to the spread of misinformation through media.

No matter how much the differentiated claimed it wasn’t that extreme, people just refused to believe it. Not knowing the facts, betas simply shrugged it off as “Oh, pretty beastly, huh?” Apparently, acting like a beast is more exciting than acting human.

Since Jung Pureum had once been a beta himself, he used to think that alphas or omegas lost their minds like virus-infected zombies whenever a rut or heat cycle hit.

But in reality, only a tiny minority of the differentiated turned into uncontrollable beasts. If all differentiated individuals were like that, this society could never have functioned normally.

“Today, I’ll handle it myself. You just stay still.”

After laying Jung Pureum on the bed, Moon Yeonghwa undressed him with considerable skill. He must have learned from doing it a few times. His face as he undressed someone else’s clothes looked quite solemn.

Jung Pureum slightly raised his upper body to make it easier for Moon Yeonghwa to remove his clothes. Immediately, Moon Yeonghwa pressed him down with his own weight.

The rut had come at just the right time. It seemed to have started a few days earlier than scheduled because of Moon Yeonghwa. Jung Pureum briefly thought of his coach, who would surely scold him again for failing to manage himself.

But it was hard to keep thinking about a coach who, no matter how he looked at him, wasn’t pleasant to see. Not when Moon Yeonghwa, who looked nothing but lovely no matter how he looked at him, suddenly thrust his face right into Jung Pureum’s.

“What, you still have room to think about other things?”

Jung Pureum lay pinned between the bed and Moon Yeonghwa, contemplating. This moment felt like some kind of event reward. To be given a rut at just the right time for living well…