Chapter 10
It had already been twenty days since I began my battles with the young lady.
Now, the young lady would occasionally speak to me.
“Young Lady, I brought your medicine.”
“Go away.”
“Young Lady, it’s time to take your medicine. I brought some candied sweets too!”
“Go away.”
“Young Lady, why don’t you try just one sip? Just, just one sip…!”
“Go away.”
“Young Lady! Knock knock, knock knock, would you like to take your medicine with me? Or you could take it later if you’d rather–”
“I said go away!”
Crash, clang, smash!
“O-okay, bye…!”
Even if it was nothing more than the single word “Go away,” It was still tremendous progress compared to before. Whereas she used to simply try to beat the crap out of me without saying a word, now she at least gave me a warning before doing so.
And as much as the young lady had improved, I too was gradually improving.
‘This time… to the right!’
Now I could even dodge the objects she threw!
Whether it was because I’d been hit so many times, or because I was desperately struggling to survive, I wasn’t sure.
At first, whenever something flew at me, all I could do was run away. But at some point, I began to see the trajectories of the objects flying toward me. If I calmly watched the direction of the trajectory and moved accordingly, I could naturally avoid them. The first time I managed to dodge one like that, I was so exhilarated…
‘What? Do I actually have talent?’
Of course, that stroke of luck didn’t last long. My stamina was far too pathetic to dodge anything beyond that.
So I began training my stamina.
“Huff, huff, huff…!”
At first, I simply ran around the manor without any particular plan.
Why? Wasn’t the first thing protagonists in fantasy novels did running laps around the training grounds? So I figured that if I just kept running no matter what, my stamina would naturally improve.
Perhaps my pathetic little performance looked so pitiful that…
“What have you been doing all this time?”
One of the martial uncles guarding the entrance to Sonaungwon suddenly spoke to me.
I was secretly surprised. Until then, we’d only exchanged nods whenever we passed each other, so why was he suddenly talking to me?
“Me? Well…”
I answered honestly, still bewildered. The martial uncle, Brother Im, listened to me and burst out laughing.
“I wondered why you’ve been running all over the place since the other day. So that’s what it was? Then I’ll teach you something good. This is the best thing for basic training. Especially for strengthening the legs…”
And what he taught me was this…
Horse Stance.
It meant keeping my back straight and bending my knees until my thighs were parallel to the ground, then staying completely still in that position for as long as possible.
Of course, there was no way I could last very long.
“One, two… argh!”
I collapsed after only three seconds of taking the stance. Brother Im burst out laughing when he saw me.
“I’ve thought this for a while, but you’re a really funny kid. Still, if you keep at it, the amount of time you can hold it will naturally increase. It’ll really make a difference in your leg strength, you know?”
…He was right.
I didn’t want to admit it because it annoyed me that he’d laughed at me, but after actually doing what he’d taught me, the amount of time I could hold the stance gradually increased.
And it wasn’t just that. My legs became stronger, and I became faster at running away too.
Once I saw that the training was working, I got excited. So while I was at it, I also started doing other exercises besides the horse stance, such as running, sit-ups, and push-ups.
However, it wasn’t long before I encountered my next problem.
‘I need to dodge faster, and more accurately.’
It was time to develop my agility.
After all, I needed to be agile enough to avoid the objects the young lady threw at me. But I wasn’t a physical education student, nor did I know how to train my agility, so this time I decided to borrow the power of money.
<Three Talents Footwork>
I bought a book from a street vendor!
Of course, I couldn’t read Chinese characters, so I had to get some help from Aso. But I couldn’t help being confused when I heard the very first sentence.
[The Three Talents refers to the three: Heaven, Earth, and Man, and the Three Talents Steps can be said to be a three-beat step containing the principles of Heaven, Earth, and Man. If one advances while walking with the Three Talents Steps, one can defend against attacks from any direction…]
‘What the hell is it saying?’
Fortunately, the movements were explained in detail with illustrations beneath the text.
I stood in the middle of the servants’ quarters’ courtyard and slowly followed the movements shown in the illustrations.
Extend the left foot to the side, then extend the right foot in front of the body… whoosh!
Extend the right foot to the side again, then extend the left foot in front of the body… whoosh whoosh!
‘Is this right?’
The more I followed the movements, the stranger they became. It was almost like I was dancing, or doing the choreography of a failed idol group.
After practicing for quite some time, I finally realized.
‘Is this… the Curse of Tae Bo?’
Suddenly, a song rang in my ears…
“Hello, everyone~! Tae Bo is currently enjoying tremendous popularity all around the world. Tae Bo is a combination of our country’s Taekwondo and boxing…”
My wrists began turning on their own.
“You can do it too! Invest just 25 minutes a day and enter the world of Tae Bo!”
Jab-jab, jab-punch-hook! Jab-jab, jab-punch-hook!
“Just follow along, just follow along!”
One, to the right, side kick, cross, jump!
Two, to the left, side kick, cross, jump!
One-two, jump! One-two, jump!
Jab-jab! Jab-punch-hook!
“Ahh…!”
As I flailed my arms and legs in every direction like I was possessed by a ghost, I let out an exclamation of awe upon reaching a sudden realization.
All Streams Return to One Source.
Countless streams and currents, every flow eventually becomes one in the sea. The ultimate state of martial arts is the same… Seeing that I had attained enlightenment, Aso was also impressed.
“You seriously look like an idiot.”
Eons passed.
…Ah, anyway.
As I fought bitter battles with the young lady for countless hours, my body gradually ripened like a fruit coming to maturity in late summer.
I had now reached the point where I could read the young lady’s movements even with my eyes closed…
‘Today is the day.’
My stamina and reflexes were sufficiently developed.
I’d accumulated enough combat experience with the young lady.
Now was the time to reach a conclusion.
‘Today, I will make the young lady hold the bowl of medicine herself!’
And so I headed toward Sonaungwon with a determined expression, like a hero entering the final boss dungeon.
***
Standing in front of the door with the tray in my hands, I announced my arrival in a solemn voice.
“Young Lady, I brought your medicine.”
Creak.
As I opened the door, I immediately stepped to the right.
Crack!
I glanced to the left and saw an inkstone lying right beside me. Feeling cold sweat trickle down my nose, I raised one corner of my mouth.
‘Hmph. Just as I thought.’
How many battles had I fought against the young lady by now?
After falling, rolling around, and getting injured over and over, I had instinctively learned everything about the young lady. For example…
‘The young lady is definitely right-handed.’
The young lady usually aimed for my left side when throwing things. Perhaps she did so to land the strongest possible blow with her most familiar hand.
Thanks to that, I could easily avoid her first attack.
But don’t let your guard down. The attack was only beginning!
Tap tap tap!
As I dashed to the right, the objects she threw immediately followed behind me.
Thud, crash!
Two more expensive teacups met their untimely demise today, as usual, but there was no time to mourn them. The young lady had begun throwing objects at me in earnest, following my dazzling movements.
I opened my eyes wide, watched the trajectories of the objects, and narrowly avoided each attack. After dodging the final bowl, I shouted triumphantly.
“Hehe, Young Lady. Will you be able to… keep up with my speed?!”
Provoked by my taunt, the young lady began throwing things faster.
I moved my body just as quickly.
Right, left, left, right, right, left, right!
My body, lost in a state of trance, was performing movements I’d devised myself based on all my experience up until now.
A technique in which I’d dodged so many times that I no longer even needed to look, predicting the trajectory of the objects as they were thrown and avoiding them. The movements were so fast that eventually, they would only hit my afterimage…
The Art of Avoiding Lady Xiao’s Attacks, First Chapter.
Binding the Remaining Image.
“Young Lady, where are you looking? That’s merely my ‘afterimage’!”
CRACK!
‘Whoa, that was close.’
I broke out in a cold sweat at the bowl embedded right beside my right flank.
The weakness of “Binding the Remaining Image” was, of course, that I left an opening whenever I spoke to provoke my opponent.
‘To find the weakness of a technique she’s seeing for the first time… As expected of our young lady! Then shall you try breaking my next technique too!’
I immediately placed the tray containing the medicinal decoction on the floor. Then I quickly raised my right arm into a defensive stance.
Perhaps confused by my sudden actions, the young lady’s movements faltered.
I didn’t miss the opportunity. I raised my left hand diagonally as well and murmured.
The Art of Avoiding Lady Xiao’s Attacks, Middle Chapter.
Arrow Deflects Captive Horse.
I began shaking my body from side to side.
“Whoosh, whooosh, shi, shibaroma, whoosh, whoosh, shi, shibaroma, whoosh, shi, whooosh, whoosh, shi, shiba, whoosh, rom, whooosh, shibaroma.”
As I shook rapidly in a motion almost drawing a circle, the young lady’s movements came to a complete halt. Judging by how the shadow behind the curtain had frozen in place, she seemed utterly stunned by a technique she’d never seen before in her life.
I smiled triumphantly to myself.
Heh heh. It’s still too early to be surprised by this.
‘Now, Young Lady! I shall show you my ultimate technique!’
The final ultimate technique I’d kept hidden until now.
The culmination of everything I possessed, and my secret trump card designed to make my opponent lose all will to fight with a single blow!
Snap!
I stopped where I stood.
Precisely in front of the young lady, where she could see me clearly.
A moment of silence descended.
I took a deep breath, then raised both hands and touched my index fingers together. Then I opened my mouth with a slightly coy expression.
The Art of Avoiding Lady Xiao’s Attacks, Final Chapter.
Spicy Candied Hawthorn.
“Then! I! Am! In! Your! Heart!”
I began approaching the young lady one step at a time while shooting finger guns at her.
“Bang bang! Horo-horo, bang bang! Hororororo.”
“D-don’t come.”
“Bang bang! Horo-horo, sweet-and-salty in my heart, hoo! Ha!”
“I said don’t come!”
I approached the young lady while sensually shaking my hips. Every time I fired my finger guns, the young lady’s silhouette trembled violently, and whenever I bounced my chest while singing “sweet-and-salty,” her silhouette leaned backward.
“Marabangbangbangbang! Hororororo!”
And just as I finally reached the young lady’s bed…
“Go awayyyyy!”
BANG!
‘Huh…?’
For a moment, I felt as though the sky itself were swaying. Only after I collapsed onto the floor did I realize that something had hit me in the head.
What was it? An inkstone? A teapot? A flower vase? I wasn’t sure exactly what had hit me, but the important thing was that the young lady had ultimately won this battle.
‘My, my. So the weakness of Spicy Candied Hawthorn was exposed so easily.’
I’d been so absorbed in my dancing that I hadn’t noticed the attack. Thinking that I’d have to improve the technique later, I mouthed toward where the young lady was.
‘Young Lady, you’ve finally succeeded in cracking my head. Congratulations…’
But no words came out, and my vision gradually darkened.
Just before I lost consciousness, I thought I saw a pale, lovely face, white as snow, drawing close to me with an expression that had gone completely blue.
‘Ahh, what a beautiful night–’
I fainted.
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