Chapter 9
[This was a defeat that had been inevitable. The young lady was lying comfortably inside her room with her back nice and warm, while I was pacing around outside like a dog. How could I possibly be a match for her?
I had to come up with another method. I had already received my salary in advance, after all.
And so, the method I came up with was…
Talking.
I talked like a madman.
The young lady seemed to be especially shy around strangers, after all. I thought that if I kept talking to her like this and gradually approached her, perhaps she would at least say one word to me.
With that thought, I talked about absolutely everything.
I started by apologizing for what happened last time, then introduced myself.
My name, age, height, appearance, personality, body measurements, special skills, hobbies, likes, dislikes, and so on…
As I talked, the subject naturally turned to my job as a dung carrier, and I got even more excited.
I had accumulated quite a lot of things to complain about. I lamented that, as a matter of human decency, the cooks should make the food a little less delicious, and that people really needed to stop shitting so much. Eventually, I even started talking about the steward.
The steward was the biggest shitter in the entire Xiao Manor. He produced twice as much as everyone else, and the smell was… ugh. It was enough to make you understand what it meant to literally faint while standing.
Anyway, while I was talking about things like that, I heard a faint rustling sound from inside.
What was that? Did she react?
I was startled and called out to the young lady several times, but I didn’t hear another sound after that. Would it really hurt her to answer me just once…?
Still, perhaps the young lady had found it entertaining to listen to.
All right, tomorrow I’ll talk about poop again!]
[Some day.
It’s already been five days since I started talking about poop.
I’ve run out of things to talk about.
No, how have I already run out of stories when I’ve been working here for so long?
But I can’t help it. The truth is, all a dung carrier does is clean dung tanks, scoop poop, and wash dung tanks all day long.
So what should I do?
Today, should I try… going inside?
Honestly, after going this far, isn’t it okay? So I gathered my courage and went inside.
Something flew at me immediately.
Haha, of course. There’s no way our young lady would lower her guard just because of a few poop stories, right?
I knew that would happen, so I prepared myself to dodge in advance… but I still got hit without being able to do anything. Yeah, I get it. If I could dodge things, I’d be learning martial arts instead of serving her here, wouldn’t I?
Still, this time it wasn’t a knife.
It was a teacup. A very sturdy and solid teacup, at that…
That damn teacup broke my nose.
It really hurt. Honestly, it hurt more than when I nearly got stabbed. On top of that, I got a double nosebleed, and when I ran away clutching my nose and screaming, the martial uncle standing guard looked at me from behind with such a dumbfounded expression.
Ah, damn it. So embarrassing.
Anyway, I thought it would be at least a fracture, at worst a serious one, but when the physician examined me, he said there was nothing wrong… How hard is my head?
No wonder learning the characters here has been so difficult. I guess it’s a good thing my head is hard, at least.
…Should I roll it around a little more?]
[Some day.
This time, I didn’t even hesitate and opened the door immediately.
Then several books came flying at my face like bolts of lightning.
Rather than hurting, it made me puzzled.
Huh? Why isn’t she throwing anything hard this time?
Could it be because I shouted at the top of my lungs and ran away yesterday? It hurt a little, but there was nothing wrong with my nose. Of course, I did have it wrapped up tightly in bandages.
…Could she have thrown something lighter because she was secretly worried about me? No way, right?
I was bewildered, but I immediately took a few more steps inside. Honestly, compared to everything I’d been hit with so far, a few books were nothing. But once I got a certain distance inside, bowls came flying at me as if she’d been waiting for exactly that moment.
Ah, damn it. Of course it wasn’t going to be that easy.
I ran away like a dog again, dodging the bowls.
But now that I think about it, those bowls didn’t hit me either. Most of them either flew past me or fell to the floor.
It’s not like the young lady couldn’t hit me… Could she have deliberately thrown them so they would miss me?
What, what? Is she really doing that because she’s worried about me? Are you feeling sorry for me, Young Lady?
Even though I thought that couldn’t possibly be the case, I couldn’t help grinning.
It was even more so because I’d discovered an unexpected side of the young lady.
Maybe… I don’t actually dislike the young lady?
But it could all be my imagination. Shouldn’t I experience this a few more times before I can know for sure?
All right, tomorrow I’ll take two steps inside!]
[Some day.
My prediction was correct.
The young lady has a surprisingly soft side.
For example, it goes like this.
The young lady hits me with a bowl. I scream and run away, making all sorts of commotion. Then, the next day, the young lady hits me with something a little softer. If I look fine, only then does she pick up something hard.
So she hits me with something strong, then something weak, and when I’m better, something strong again. Then something weak, something strong, something weak…
What, am I being trained?
But strangely enough, it was rather addictive.
Especially, the more pain I appeared to be in, the more subdued the young lady became the next day. So sometimes I even pretended to be in more pain than I actually was.
Is this what it feels like to tame a wild animal?
Like taming an animal that growls whenever it sees me. The feeling of pretending to be hurt and watching it cautiously approach me while secretly keeping an eye on me… It’s cute.
Tomorrow, I’m going to roll around on the floor and make an even bigger fuss!]
[Some day.
I learned another new fact about the young lady.
Our young lady is surprisingly perceptive.
She eventually figured out that I was pretending to be hurt…
Yeah, honestly, I was careless. Rolling around on the floor and making a huge fuss for ten whole minutes because I’d been hit by nothing more than a brush was pushing it a little.
But isn’t it a bit much to suddenly change like that?
Now, whether I’m actually hurt or not, the young lady just throws the strongest thing she can find. If I seem to dodge well, she doesn’t go easy on me, and if I hesitate a little, she gives me just the tiniest bit of mercy.
Seriously, am I a fisherman or something? Am I supposed to throw out bait and watch to see whether I’ll bite or not? Does she think I’m a fish in her fishing pond?!
That’s right, a fish in her fishing pond.
I’m going to let the young lady catch me again tomorrow too♡]
[Some day.
Something a little special happened today.
To be honest, I haven’t been feeling very good lately. Mother collapsed after vomiting blood again.
Mother couldn’t open her eyes for several days before finally coming to. When she gave me a faint smile, seeing her completely bloodless face suddenly terrified me.
What if something really serious happens this time? What if I’m alone again…?
So for several days, I couldn’t properly pay attention to the young lady. I couldn’t even muster the energy to open the door. I’d wait outside for a little while before turning around and leaving.
Then yesterday, it finally happened.
I don’t even know why I did it. Maybe because all the bruises covering my body were throbbing that day, or because I was frustrated by the reality that I couldn’t do anything. Because I felt so pathetic…
In the end, I cried in front of the door.
As if that weren’t enough, I poured out every single complaint and grievance I’d accumulated until then.
I complained that everywhere I’d been hit still hurt terribly, that I wanted to stop getting hit already, that I was upset because the young lady wouldn’t even answer me once, and so on.
Thinking about it now, how ridiculous must I have seemed to the young lady? After barging in alone and making a huge fuss all this time, suddenly becoming dejected and sniveling like that…
But apparently, that left quite an impression on the young lady.
The next day, when I came to my senses and opened the door, determined to apologize by saying, “I’m sorry about yesterday,” surprisingly, nothing flew at me.
I took one step, then two, and the same thing happened.
That was my chance to look inside. But I was so shocked that I couldn’t see anything.
The only thing I could see was a bed covered in layer upon layer of curtains. As if possessed, I staggered toward the bed like a zombie. I was about halfway there when something soft and fluffy flew toward me and lightly bumped into me.
It was a pillow. Then I heard a small voice.
“G… go away!”
My heart skipped a beat.
My heart really skipped a beat.
I was so shocked that I couldn’t move for about three seconds. Then I ran toward her, shouting like a madman, “Young Lady!”
Of course, I didn’t get to see the young lady. I immediately got hit by something and had to scream in pain and run away.
Normally, I would have cursed her out in my head, but that day, all I could do was grin. Just thinking about that soft, fluffy pillow made my chest feel strangely ticklish.
Young Lady, you don’t actually hate me that much either, do you?
Anyway, ever since that day, I’ve strangely kept wanting to go to Sonaungwon.
All we ever do is chase and be chased, hit and be hit. But now I’ve even started to enjoy getting hit. Whenever I get hurt, the young lady feels sorry for me and hits me with something small and soft.
If this keeps up, naturally the young lady will eventually let me get close to her, right? Just thinking about that day makes me so excited that I can’t sleep.
Have I developed some kind of weird hobby?
But… if it’s the young lady, I might actually like it♥]
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