Chapter 20
When I came to my senses, I was climbing a mountain.
Sweat was pouring down my entire body. I frantically pushed aside the thin branches blocking my vision and moved forward, stepping over tree roots jutting out of the ground.
Then, suddenly, I realized.
‘Ah, this mountain.’
It was that mountain.
Nabu Mountain, where Seo Dan had fallen.
I didn’t know why I suddenly knew that. I had never been here before, and I had only come looking for the place where the spiritual medicine was.
But I felt a strange sense of déjà vu. Somehow, I felt like I knew this place well. Even this path I was on now was definitely…
At that moment.
“Huff, huff…”
Strange visions began to appear.
A small, skinny child was hurriedly climbing the mountain, but the labored breathing and unsteady footsteps made it clear that he was in no normal condition.
As I examined the child closely, I unconsciously realized.
‘That’s me.’
That familiar figure.
It was the Seo Dan I had possessed.
‘I’m tired now. I’m really tired…’
Suddenly, various memories poured into me.
Memories of having to care for my sick mother since childhood. Days spent worrying desperately about how to make money somehow, wandering from place to place and taking whatever work I could find.
Amid all that, Seo Dan was gradually becoming exhausted. She was tired of constantly bowing her head, begging, and getting beaten. One day, a drunken man slapped both her cheeks so hard that her nose started bleeding.
In the end, Seo Dan stole the mistress’s jewelry. It was an entirely impulsive act.
“How dare you steal the mistress’s jewelry?!”
Of course, Seo Dan, who had never stolen anything in her life, was bound to get caught.
The moment the jewelry hidden in her bundle was discovered, Seo Dan was seized by two burly servants and forcibly shoved into a sack. Then she was hung from a crossbeam and beaten madly with clubs.
The beating lasted for half a day. Looking down at Seo Dan, who was sprawled on the floor covered in blood, one of the servants spat out phlegm.
“We took in a damn beggar like you because we felt sorry for you, and this is how you repay our kindness? Ptooey, if I catch you around here again, I’ll really make you pay!”
Only after bowing several times and expressing his gratitude was Seo Dan finally allowed to leave. But even getting home was no easy task. Her entire body felt as though it had been shattered, and she could barely stand properly. People only glanced sideways at Seo Dan as she crawled along and avoided her.
In the end, Seo Dan collapsed unconscious after barely taking a few steps. When she opened her eyes, the surroundings had already grown dark.
Looking up at the pitch-black sky, Seo Dan thought.
‘It’s hard.’
Seo Dan staggered to her feet and began walking again. There was a well along the road, so she drew some water and washed her face, which was dirty with dirt and blood.
Then, looking at her own face reflected in the water, she thought again.
‘It’s so hard.’
When she arrived home, fortunately, her mother was asleep. Like a mouse, Seo Dan slipped into the room and changed out of her ragged clothes.
The next day, when her shocked mother asked what had happened, she lied that she had been falsely accused and thrown out. Her mother believed Seo Dan’s lie. Looking at her mother shedding tears, Seo Dan murmured inwardly.
‘It’s too hard…’
For some time, Seo Dan wandered around looking for work. But perhaps rumors about her had already spread, because everyone seemed reluctant to hire her. The neighbor, Mr. Pyo, went around furiously trying to explain what had happened, but it was no use.
In the end, Seo Dan climbed the mountain himself to gather medicinal herbs. I don’t know if she really went up there to gather herbs.
There was only one thought in her mind.
‘…I want to stop now.’
When she came to his senses, Seo Dan was standing on the edge of a cliff.
Seo Dan blankly stared into the darkness below the cliff. The darkness looked comforting. It felt as though she could rest peacefully if she entered it.
Seo Dan, just like that…
“Huff……!”
I suddenly opened my eyes.
My entire body was covered in sweat. I hurriedly looked around, and sure enough, I was standing on that very cliff.
My heart pounded like crazy.
‘Why am I here……?’
Only then did I think I understood why I had felt that sense of déjà vu.
I had been following exactly the same path Seo Dan had taken up the mountain. Then Seo Dan’s memories had naturally flowed into me, and I had arrived at the exact same place where Seo Dan had reached.
This was the place where Seo Dan had thrown himself down. Seo Dan, Seo Dan had tried to end everything…
“Huh?”
That was when I noticed the small medicinal herb growing on the edge of the cliff.
“Uh?”
I grabbed the tree trunk beside me and crouched down. Stretching my neck out as far as I could, a fragrant smell brushed the tip of my nose. Only after spotting the nine leaves growing from the stem did I become certain.
That was it.
The Nine-Leaved Purple Lingzhi Herb!
Only then did reality finally sink back in. Right, I had climbed the mountain because of this. Unconsciously remembering the original story and searching for the spiritual medicine, I had come here… To save the young lady.
‘I have to get that.’
The herb was growing in an incredibly precarious spot.
It was just barely within reach of my fingertips if I did everything right, but one mistake and I could fall straight down.
I lay flat on my stomach directly above where the herb was growing. I stretched my hand out as far as I could, but it was nowhere near enough. I needed to go just a little farther, farther down.
Fortunately, there was a small tree jutting out right beside me, so I grabbed it with my left hand. Then I slowly lowered my upper body. Blood rushed to my head, and sweat gathered on the bridge of my nose, but I focused all my attention solely on the herb. Little by little, my body and the herb were getting closer. I reached out again.
I could touch it!
‘Good. If I grab it by the roots like this…!’
Just as I was about to grab the herb.
Snap.
“Huh?”
The support beneath my left hand suddenly disappeared. I hurriedly turned to the side.
The tree I had been holding had broken.
“……!”
Unlike my body, which had begun to fall, my eyes remained fixed on the herb. I hadn’t grabbed it yet. If only I could grab the herb while falling…!
I squeezed out the last of my concentration. And just as the herb was about to brush past my body, I swung my hand and snatched it together with the soil around its roots.
I saw the nine leaves caught in my hand. Just as I was about to let out a cheer…
“I got it…! Huh?”
Whoosh.
Before I knew it, my body was floating in midair. At the same time, my vision went completely dark.
***
When I regained consciousness, I was sprawled on the dirt ground. Blinking, my consciousness, which had been shut down, slowly returned.
I blankly blinked my eyes, then suddenly came to my senses and looked at my right hand. Nine leaves were swaying gently above my tightly clenched fist.
I let out a sigh of relief.
‘I barely survived……’
I looked up at the cliff I had fallen from.
Looking at it again, the cliff wasn’t a sheer drop all the way down. There were hills rising high beneath it. I would have noticed them in daylight, but since it was a dark night, I hadn’t been able to see what was below.
On top of that, it seemed that getting caught on thin branches here and there had slowed my fall as well. I tried to get up, only to collapse back down.
“Ow! …Huh?”
Looking again, my right ankle was swollen terribly.
It didn’t seem to be broken, but perhaps I had twisted it when I fell. The throbbing pain was clearly not normal.
I let out a deep sigh. Instead, I looked up at the sky and estimated the time.
‘Dawn hasn’t broken yet. I still have time.’
It was fortunate that I had woken up quickly. I looked around, picked up a sturdy branch, then used it to support myself as I stood and slowly began walking.
Cold sweat trickled down my body. My entire body ached, and especially whenever I put weight on my right foot, I felt a pain as though someone were gouging it with an awl.
I wanted to pass out right then and there, but I endured it. Before I knew it, I was muttering to myself.
“It’s not hard. It’s not hard…”
At some point, I was thinking about Seo Dan.
Perhaps Seo Dan had felt something similar.
When she walked home covered in blood, when she climbed the mountain to give up on her life. Did she feel this pain and helplessness?
But I knew.
Seo Dan’s true feelings. The feelings hidden behind her despair.
That day, Seo Dan had definitely fallen from the cliff. That was the truth. Seo Dan had tried to end everything through death. That was also the truth.
But the moment Seo Dan fell, she had instinctively grabbed a branch on the cliff.
Her small body trembled as she hung from the cliff. At some point, Seo Dan had begun to cry.
‘I, hic, I…’
Watching that, I wanted to ask.
You didn’t actually want to die, did you?
You didn’t want to give up, did you?
That must have been it. That’s why you desperately clung to the branch, struggling with your body, and cried out loud as though you had been wronged.
Even so, you couldn’t survive, but if you regretted that choice…
“Haa, haa…”
I won’t give up on living for your sake, too.
The main gate of the Xiao Family Manor came into view in the distance. Perhaps the gatekeeper recognized me, because he hurried inside.
When I finally reached the gate, I saw the chief steward running out.
“Child, your body…!”
I gave a faint smile as I looked at the chief steward staring at me in shock. Somehow, I felt as though I could see an illusion of Seo Dan smiling faintly in front of me.
In the end, I collapsed right there.
My right hand, which was holding the Nine-Leaved Purple Lingzhi Herb, remained stretched out.
Truly, everything went black.
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