Chapter 21
When I opened my eyes, I saw an unfamiliar ceiling… no, it was the familiar ceiling of the medicine room.
I blinked my eyes and let out a hollow laugh.
‘How many times has this happened now?’
Even before I was possessed, I had almost never fainted. Yet ever since I started working under the young lady, it seemed like I was constantly passing out at every opportunity.
Thinking that, I turned my head. Through the window, I could see the faint moonlight filtering in.
‘Right, it’s still night…’
…Night?
‘Wait, what time was it when I arrived?’
I didn’t remember clearly because I had been half-conscious when I reached the Xiao Household, but I distinctly remembered that it had been before dawn.
I had been so relieved when I saw the Steward come out beyond the main gate that the strength had left my legs and I fell forward, holding out my right hand to give him the Nine-Leaved Purple Lingzhi Herb that I had been carrying…
Had I given it to him?
“Ah!”
I hurriedly sat upright.
And at the same time, I screamed.
“Eeeek!”
Because a hazy figure was sitting right in front of me.
A ghost wearing long, flowing white clothes like mourning attire, with long, pitch-black hair hanging loose. What especially caught my attention was the veil covering its face….
‘A veil?’
“Young lady?”
I asked without realizing it. Only then did the figure, which had been looking down, raise its head.
My mouth fell open.
‘Why are you sitting like that?! I almost had a heart attack!
Those words nearly slipped out, but I desperately held them back. Instead, I asked the young lady what I really wanted to know.
“Young lady, are you feeling a little better? Is your seizure over?”
“…….”
“When I arrived, it should have been dawn, so why is it still night… Ah, did I wake up quickly? And did your seizure end during that time, too? That’s a relief! The medicinal herb I brought you worked well…”
“No.”
The young lady’s low voice interrupted me.
“It’s true that the seizure ended faster than usual. But you didn’t wake up quickly.”
“Pardon?”
“A whole day has already passed. It’s evening the next day.”
A day? A whole day had passed?
I blinked blankly. Then, finally coming to my senses, I looked over my body again.
Sure enough, just as the young lady had said, quite some time seemed to have passed, because my body had been treated. Bandages were wrapped around various places, and my right ankle in particular had even been fitted with a splint.
I scratched my head and gave an awkward smile.
“Haha, it’s not like I was seriously injured, so why did you treat me this thoroughly…? Young lady, don’t worry about it. Something like this will heal quickly.”
“…….”
“But more importantly, are you all right, young lady? Are you completely recovered now? It’s only been a day since your seizure ended, so shouldn’t you still be taking it easy? What if you make yourself worse! You need to think about your health.”
“…….”
“Instead of staying here, go back to your room for now. If there’s anything you want me to do, I’ll come to your quarters tomorrow. Or, if you tell me now…”
“How is everything so easy for you?”
“Pardon?”
I looked at the young lady in confusion. Somehow, her voice sounded even colder than usual.
“Is getting injured nothing to you? Doesn’t it hurt? Aren’t you angry? And then what? Is it nothing? Don’t worry about it?”
“Young lady…”
“How could I not worry? You. Why have you been acting like this toward me since last time? Why do you keep throwing yourself at things as though you have no life to lose? When did I ever ask you to do that? When did I ever ask you for anything?”
“…….”
“This time too. What does it matter to you whether I live or die? Why does it matter so much that you go off on your own to gather some medicinal herb and come back looking like that? You could just watch. You could pretend you don’t know, like everyone else!”
The young lady huffed and puffed before finally shouting,
“Do you perhaps pity me? Do you pity this life of mine, where I can’t even move properly like everyone else and have to depend on medicine just to stay alive? Is that why you’re doing this, because you pity me?!”
“Of course I pity you! How could I not?!”
I shouted without realizing it.
“A young girl around my age is sick and can’t even get up, and when she has a seizure, she struggles so violently that her hands and feet have to be tied down. How could I not feel sorry for you?”
“…….”
“You asked what it has to do with me, didn’t you? Of course it has something to do with me. I’m the person watching over you from right beside you! You might not understand because you’re the one who’s sick, but do you know how painful it is to watch someone precious to you slowly die?”
“…….”
“You know when you look at the expression on the Head’s face. You know how painful and helpless that feels. You can’t die in their place, and you can’t suffer in their place. All you can do is pray that they’ll please get better…”
“…….”
The young lady said nothing. I stopped speaking for a moment and took a deep breath. Strangely enough, after letting everything out at once, I felt like my thoughts had settled down.
After calming down somewhat, I slowly continued.
“Actually, I’m in a similar position to the Head. You may or may not know, but… I have a sick mother too.”
“…….”
“I don’t know the exact cause. I don’t even know the name of her illness. They say there’s no cure, either. So she’s been holding on with medicine until now. But… even that has become difficult. She collapsed a while ago. Fortunately, she made it through the critical point, but if things continue like this, eventually…”
“…….”
“You used to ask me, didn’t you? Why I went so far. It was because of my mother. I thought that if your health improved, I might ask you for help with my mother’s illness. I’m sorry I’m only telling you my true feelings now. At first, that was all it was…”
I hesitated for a moment before giving a bitter smile.
“But at some point, I started worrying about you.”
Thinking about it, I had been that way from the beginning.
A child who acted as though she had already given up on living.
She refused to become attached to anyone, and no matter how much anyone approached her, she tried to push them away. Because she believed she would die soon.
Sometimes, her appearance overlapped with my mother’s.
My mother always said, ‘It’ll be all right,’ but there was something strangely resigned about her. She didn’t try to find any more solutions, and the way she withered away day by day sometimes made her look like someone preparing for death.
That was why I approached the young lady even more. ‘There has to be a way. I know a way.’ So please, don’t give up on life. Because then, I felt like my mother wouldn’t give up either.
‘‘It may have been pity, but perhaps it was also empathy.’’
It was like that at first, but now….
“I don’t want you to be in pain, young lady.”
“…….”
“I told you earlier, didn’t I? There’s nothing more difficult than watching someone precious suffer. I’ve started finding it painful myself whenever I see you suffering.”
“…….”
“Haha, I guess I’ve grown attached to you without realizing it after bickering with you so much. Ah, but don’t worry. It’s not that kind of love I mentioned before or anything.”
Not knowing how to bring things to an end, I rambled on. Then I suddenly looked at the young lady.
Her small hands, clenched as tightly as she could, were trembling.
I simply smiled.
“You understand, right?”
Only then did the young lady open her mouth.
“I…”
That was when it happened.
A strong wind blew.
Whoosh…
I frowned at the sudden gust. Then I happened to look ahead and opened my eyes wide.
The young lady’s veil had been lifted.
‘Huh?’
I could see the pale face I had seen in my dream.
Her skin, white as though carved from snow, looked almost translucent with its pallor, while her long eyelashes cast a sorrowful shadow beneath them.
Her beautifully shaped, rounded forehead flowed softly downward, followed by neatly arranged eyebrows, a smooth, high nose, and small lips that were plump yet tinged with a faint pink.
More than anything, her black eyes, sparkling as though stars had been embedded in them, caught my attention….
“Wow.”
I couldn’t help but marvel.
Then I stopped.
The eyes that had been revealed for that brief moment had strangely distorted. Somehow, they seemed stained with fear and resignation…
‘Huh? What’s wrong with her?’
Was she surprised because her face had been revealed?
I quickly came to my senses and casually started talking.
“Wow, young lady, you’re so beautiful~! You really look prettier than most child actors… Ah, what’s a child actor? I mean, just someone who’s pretty.”
“…….”
“Anyway, with a face like this, why have you been hiding it all this time? People around here kept saying there must be something wrong with your face, so I really thought that was true. Good grief, and I can’t even show our young lady to those people…”
“…Ah.”
“Pardon? What did you say? You want me to leave? Get out? No, honestly, it’s not like I intentionally looked at your face. And it’s difficult for me to get out right now, anyway. If you look at my foot…”
“Are you all right?”
“Pardon?”
I blinked. But the young lady asked again with utmost seriousness.
“You… are you all right? Even after seeing my face, you don’t feel anything?”
“Pardon?”
“D-Don’t you feel strange? Like, wanting to do something to me, or being unable to see anything except me, or wanting to obey all my commands…”
“No, pardon?”
“You don’t feel anything? Really… are you perfectly fine?”
I stared blankly with my mouth hanging open.
‘This can’t be. Our young lady has an overinflated sense of self-importance.’
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