The Prosecutor’s Office’s Proposal Chapter 58

While eating the salad that came as a side dish at the restaurant, I thought of Prosecutor Joo again. These days, whether I’m at home, watching a drama, or a movie, Prosecutor Joo’s face never leaves my mind.

I went to pay after lunch, but Chief Song stopped me and practically snatched my card away. Then, he offered his own.

“Hey, I’m the sunbae, so I should pay. What are you doing, trying to hand me your card, Officer Lee?”

Worried that I might have looked arrogant, a flush of red spread across my cheeks, though for a different reason this time. Since showing too much apology or embarrassment could also lead to a negative assessment by the other person, I chose my words carefully to reply.

“It’s just that I’ve never treated anyone to a meal before.”

“Of course you haven’t. I’ve already been working at the Prosecutor’s Office for eight years.”

“Has it been that long?”

“Yes. My seniority is the same as Prosecutor Joo’s. Though I’m younger in age.”

“You must have passed the exam right after graduating from college.”

“That’s right. My only talent is taking exams.”

While I truly felt that was my only talent, I was certain that wasn’t the case for Chief Song. Watching Chief Song receive the card and receipt and smile while saying thank you to the clerk, I realized his real talent lay elsewhere: his sociability, his ability to treat others comfortably and kindly. It was a skill I had never had the opportunity to learn.

I rode in Chief Song’s car to a nearby movie theater. There was a small theater at the top of a tiny shopping center near City Hall. Since Chief Song had already bought the movie tickets, I insisted on buying the popcorn and cola.

As soon as we entered the dark theater, I turned off my phone and looked up at the advertisements. I started eating the popcorn with Chief Song, but I immediately thought I’d made a mistake—I should have just bought two small ones instead. Our hands kept bumping into each other every time we reached into the bucket. I was startled inwardly, and as the movie progressed, I reduced how often I reached for the popcorn.

If it had been Prosecutor Joo, would I have decided not to eat the popcorn? Just because our hands bumped a little?

I knew the answer, but I stubbornly refused to answer my inner question. If I had gone to see a movie with Prosecutor Joo in the first place, I would have been so nervous I wouldn’t have been able to properly appreciate the content anyway.

As the end credits rolled, Chief Song gathered the empty popcorn bucket and asked me.

“Did you enjoy it? I saw you laughing here and there.”

“Yes, it was so much fun. It’s nice to come to a movie theater for the first time in a while.”

“I think that’s the first time I’ve heard you laugh, Officer Lee.”

“It’s because I’m not the type to laugh much usually.”

“There’s really nothing to laugh about at the Prosecutor’s Office, is there?”

Chief Song replied comfortably and then asked.

“Then shall we head straight back to the staff residence?”

“Yes, let’s.”

I felt a subtle sense of regret about parting ways early.

If I were someone who didn’t fear interpersonal relationships, I might have suggested we get a drink, but I couldn’t easily bring it up for fear of making a mistake while intoxicated. That was because thanks to Prosecutor Joo, I had confirmed that if I got drunk, there was a possibility I might speak informally to my superior. My lifelong learning experience—that things always went wrong whenever I tried to get close to friends or colleagues—also played a part.

As soon as we got in the car, Chief Song played some music. It seemed to be songs by idol groups active these days, with a bubbly, bright feel. Listening to the unfamiliar, frantic music, I delivered a simple thank you.

“Thank you for everything today—the movie and the lunch.”

“It’s nothing. If anything, I should have contacted you sooner so we could get closer. And I still haven’t kept my promise to treat you to tteokguk.”

“Lunch was plenty.”

I was grateful for his warm heart. Chief Song pulled the car over to the side of the road near the residence.

“I have somewhere to stop by for a moment, so would you like to go in first?”

“Yes, I will. Thank you for the ride.”

I bowed my head and got out of the car. Chief Song even opened the passenger window, smiled brightly, waved again, and drove off.

I stood still, watching the rear of the car, then shoved my hands into my coat pockets and moved my feet lightly. I almost laughed without realizing it, so I pressed my lips together to keep them from curling up and struggled to calm my fluttering heart.

“And this is after you’ve had things fall apart on you more than once or twice before.”

Expectation has never added anything of value to my life. Drawing a calm state of mind is always better.

I arrived at the door of Unit 1, 3rd floor of the villa with a faster gait than usual. As I was about to enter the password, a heavy hand firmly grabbed my elbow from behind. I was so startled I couldn’t even scream, frozen like a wooden doll as I was pulled back.

In my flustered state, I landed almost as if I were being embraced, and when I looked up, I saw Prosecutor Joo Taeson right in front of my nose. I gasped like someone who had lost their voice, and only after a while did I manage to grasp the situation. My voice, having struggled to escape, finally reached him with difficulty.

“Prosecutor, why are you at the residence….”

“You said you only stay home on weekends. Who did you go meet that you come back up smiling so broadly?”

I had tried to suppress my smile, but it seems I hadn’t done a very good job. It was embarrassing to have my foolish, uncontrolled expectation caught by Prosecutor Joo. Feeling awkward, I slightly bit my lower lip, and as usual, Prosecutor Joo’s gaze stuck to my lips. That look in his eyes that keeps making me misunderstand him.

“I’m on my way back after watching a movie with Chief Song.”

“Chief Song Haneul?”

His sharp eyes moved along the stair railing downward. It looked as if he were checking to see if Chief Song was coming up late. I shook my head.

“No. Chief Song said he had other business, so we parted ways right out front….”

As he often does, he cut me off before I could finish.

“So that must be why Officer Lee’s phone was off. The movie—I didn’t think of that. I was worried you’d been in a hit-and-run and wondered if I should report it.”

He held my wrist without letting go of my body as he spoke. The distance was too close. Close enough to see the fine hairs on his skin.

After spending the whole day alone with Chief Song and then running into Prosecutor Joo, I could truly realize how tense I get whenever I talk to him. The blood vessels from behind my ears to the nape of my neck were throbbing, and lukewarm sweat beaded on my palms. The feeling of my mouth and throat drying up was a bonus.

Once again, I spoke with difficulty.

“Were you waiting for me?”

“Is there anyone else besides Officer Lee who lives in this building?”

Prosecutor Joo replied as if it were obvious, but in reality, many other staff members lived in the residence besides me. Even Chief Song, who worked in the same office.

However, instead of asking the obvious, I asked what I was truly curious about.

“Did you wait a long time?”

“You’re asking that quite late. It seems you had a lot of fun with Chief Song today. It’s not easy to see you laugh, Officer Lee.”

“It’s not so much that it was extremely fun, but….”

“Go in and get some rest. I’ll be going now.”

“Yes? Aren’t you coming in together?”

Prosecutor Joo’s hand finally released me. My wrist, where he had held me, throbbed.

Left to myself, I was seized by the strange impulse to grab his sleeve and cling to him.

“Forget it. If you talk to me, Officer Lee’s good mood will just disappear.”

“No, that’s not—”

“Your expression has already hardened. It’s fine, just go in.”

Prosecutor Joo shoved the black plastic bag he had been holding into my arms and stepped toward the stairs leading down. I accepted it in a daze. It was certain that he had been waiting for me, but his decision to return without coming in left me flustered and anxious. I opened my mouth hurriedly at his departing back.

“Prosecutor, if you had let me know in advance….”

“You said you only stay at the residence on weekends.”

“…”

“I think I’ve spent enough of my time on Officer Lee today, so I’ll see you on Monday.”

Without even looking at me, Prosecutor Joo replied sharply and soon turned the corner of the stairs and vanished.

The situation had happened in the blink of an eye, and I was bewildered. As I typed the password into the old villa’s door lock, all sorts of thoughts surfaced—should I have chased after Prosecutor Joo? Should I have tried harder to stop him?—and it left me feeling troubled.

I leaned my leather cross-body bag, which I carry everywhere, against the wall and went to the sink. I placed the black plastic bag Prosecutor Joo had shoved at me on the countertop and checked its contents. Inside were the soboro bread and cannelé I had bought for Prosecutor Joo the morning after I had been drunk, the coffee drink I often drank at the office, and… milk-flavored ice cream.