How to Avoid the Monday Blues Chapter 13

In the brief moment of silence connecting sentence to sentence, Sewon felt his heart shrivel.

“It’s hard to discuss it while leaving out biting and sucking each other.”

The man’s knife cut through the tomato. Seeing the tomato’s juice burst out onto the plate, a chill ran smoothly up Sewon’s spine.

The man’s dark brown eyes looking at him seemed to ripple like waves. This unfamiliar sensation flaring up inside him the moment he met the man’s eyes was probably excitement or tension.

After finishing the meal, Sewon impulsively bought baklava at a dessert shop. Baklava, made by spreading butter on thin phyllo and stacking it layer upon layer, then pouring syrup over it until the bottom was thoroughly soaked, was piled generously with finely ground pistachios.

“Ugh, it’s so sweet.”

At the excessive sweetness spreading through his mouth, Sewon frowned. But he adapted quickly and took another bite of the baklava. Bitter, strong coffee came to mind automatically.

“Would you like a bite? I didn’t touch this part….”

When Sewon asked while tapping a different corner of the baklava with his fork, the man opened his mouth.

“Ahh—”

Sewon’s expression as he looked at the man’s parted lips was dyed with bewilderment.

I guess I should… feed him?

Sewon agonized, looking back and forth between the baklava and the man’s face.

“Just kidding. Eat a lot, baby.”

The man said with a laugh. Thinking anew that the resonance of his voice was nice, Sewon swallowed the remaining piece of baklava whole.

The two walked following the red metro signs standing tall in the middle of the bustling city. Sewon was silent, chewing the baklava left in his mouth, and the man simply quietly stayed by his side.

Between the two as they moved their steps, a different kind of tension from before, like walking a tightrope, was hovering. Even as they were pushed by the crowd and boarded the train, a taut tension like a pulled thread flowed between them.

“I was thinking I’d make the reservation for Thursday dinner. Is that okay?”

Breaking the subtly awkward atmosphere, the man spoke to Sewon first.

“Yes. I didn’t look into restaurants. If there’s somewhere you want to go, let’s go there. I’m fine with anything.”

At Sewon’s words, the man took out his phone. Perhaps he had already looked into restaurants, because he finished the reservation with a few taps. Inside the man’s coat pocket, slightly visible, was a cigarette pack.

“By the way…”

“Yeah?”

“You didn’t smoke today?”

At Sewon’s words, the man let out a short sigh, ah…. Like someone who had heard something completely unexpected.

“Right, I completely forgot.”

The man, who had lowered his head, crumpled the cigarette pack that Sewon’s gaze had touched and added. The man looked a little dazed.

When the metro stopped at the station, passengers pushed in. The man’s gaze, now a little closer, turned toward Sewon. Sewon deliberately fixed his eyes on the train door.

“It really feels like riding Line 2.”

Every time he rode the metro, it felt excessively familiar. Perhaps because the stops on this line were marked in green, it reminded him of the subway stations he used to frequent in Korea.

“And the thing outside looks like the Han River?”

“Yes. But the scenery is different…, and this place is pretty in its own way.”

Outside the train window, instead of tall skyscrapers piercing the sky, buildings of various styles stood densely packed along the ridges of the hills. The round domes of large and small mosques with tall spires created an exotic atmosphere.

Sewon, resting his head against the door, looked back on the times he rode the subway in Korea—that is, his very ordinary daily life. He recalled himself blending in without a sense of incongruity among exhausted people. It had not even been many days since he left on the trip, yet that already felt like a distant past.

“We hit exactly rush hour.”

Having busily moved around since morning and eaten early, the time to return to the lodging landed exactly at rush hour. Passengers dressed in suits or business casual kept boarding.

“Still, there aren’t as many people on the subway as in Korea.”

“Right. I heard Korea gets really crowded on the subway during rush hour.”

The man spoke as if he had never experienced Korea’s hellish subway. Sewon’s gaze unconsciously swept over the man’s appearance.

His neat appearance, like a nobleman, and his soft, high-quality coat caught Sewon’s eye. This too was a kind of prejudice, but the man seemed like someone who would ride his own car rather than public transportation. Or perhaps a car driven by a chauffeur….

“Do you commute to work by car?”

“I ride cars too. But I also walk a lot.”

“Ahh. I guess your company and home are close.”

At Sewon’s question, the man nodded.

“I live right in front of my company. I get off work late, so I work, stop by home briefly, go on a business trip, and go to work again….”

The man smiled slightly as he listed his repeatedly continuing daily routine. Perhaps because the distance was so close, the man’s calm breathing reached Sewon’s forehead. The wind brushing softly against his bangs tickled his chest.

“Um, just a little.”

Sewon looked up at the man, who had come close enough to touch, and asked for understanding.

“…Ah.”

“We’re too…, close.”

At Sewon’s words, he could see the man’s Adam’s apple ripple. At that small movement, Sewon felt as if he could not breathe.

Sewon turned his gaze, which had been directed at the man, out the window. A sky mixed with pink and vermilion was slowly being swallowed by darkness.

After passing a restaurant decorated with a fence of sparkling lights, the hotel where the two were staying appeared. The smoking area, with only a trash can that doubled as an ashtray standing there, was quiet today. The man’s gaze briefly went back and forth between his coat pocket and the smoking area.

“Go ahead and smoke. I’ll stand next to you too.”

A conversation partner. Sewon added briefly and smiled. The man’s gaze lingered on the pink tongue that slightly slipped out when he smiled.

“I’m not rude enough to smoke in front of a non-smoker.”

Though the man refused, Sewon led him to the smoking area.

“It’s okay. Smoke. Okay?”

Sewon’s sparkling eyes held anticipation. As if telling him to hurry and smoke, Sewon urged the man on. The man took out a cigarette and put it in his mouth.

“When I skipped my interview and came traveling, my friend said I was crazy, you know?”

“The friend you have a crush on?”

“…Yes. But now that I’m actually here, I don’t think I’ve done anything really crazy. I’m just doing completely ordinary sightseeing. I wanted to do things I wouldn’t normally do. Teacher…, you were like that too.”

Saying “Teacher,” Sewon briefly furrowed his brow. No matter how he thought about it, this form of address was a little awkward. But he still could not think of another suitable one.

“I am doing it, though. Things I don’t usually do.”

The man said that, lit the end of his cigarette, and inhaled. Sewon felt as if the glowing vermilion flame was clinging to him.

[May I ask your name?]

[That’s…, a bit.]

Recalling the man who had clearly drawn the line that it was difficult to give his name, Sewon felt he could vaguely understand what the man meant by “things I don’t usually do.”

In any case, that was not what mattered now. Sewon looked up at the man with a face tinged with faint excitement.

“There’s one thing I haven’t done up to now.”

“What is it.”

“Will you help me?”

At Sewon’s question, the man let out a low laugh, pff-.

“Tell me what it is first. I don’t do business at a loss.”

“It’s not that kind of losing business.”

“What is it.”

“Um…, will you teach me how to smoke?”

At Sewon’s words, the handsome man’s face crumpled. The long stream of cigarette smoke stopped abruptly.

“No.”

“Just once.”

“No.”

At the firm refusal, Sewon simply looked up at the man without a word. He did not avoid his eyes or show any awkwardness, but stared straight at him. Unlike usual, he felt stubbornness rise and impulse stir.

“You keep making me into a bad adult.”

“Please. I’m really curious.”

The man, who had taken a deep breath, stubbed out the cigarette he had barely smoked.

“Even if you’re curious…, try to hold back a little.”

The man’s voice as he said that was low and huskily cracked. Those words stimulated Sewon’s stubbornness.

“…”