Speak of The Devil Chapter 18

I forgot the positions of us being secretary and boss for a moment, and my lips, which had been fighting fiercely, stuck together as if they had applied glue. Instead, I lowered my head and my gaze trailed to the lower part of his body. He was wearing my pajamas because I took his pants. Was the front part of those gray pants bulging out of my eyes?

“…Boss, really, in this situation…”

“I think it’s inappropriate too.”

Whether it was a joke to lighten the mood, Jung Yiyeon responded with a grin. Even if it was a joke, the space between his legs looked really heavy.

Judging by Jung Yiyeon’s mood right now, it didn’t seem like he would have heard what Hyung said. If that was the case, then, aside from that, the problem was that I showed Hyung the scene of my affair with a man. Of course, considering how he looked when he left, it seemed like it wouldn’t be a problem, but there was nothing I could do about my troubled heart.

Oh, I’d rather he hugged me tight. However, Jung Yiyeon was not a lover who would hug me and comfort me. So I couldn’t and shouldn’t expect him to ease my mood.

But wasn’t it a matter of comforting hugs even between simple sex partners? I was just so upset, so should I ask for a hug?

Ah… But what if Jung Yiyeon heard what Hyung said earlier?

“…You can leave now.”

In the end, what I chose was to banish him. It seemed that Hyung and Jung Yiyeon would be able to deal with it only if I could organize my thoughts first. Of course, I liked Jung Yiyeon and wanted to be with him, but at least now what I needed was time alone.

“Wearing this?”

“Ah.”

It was then that I realized that I was still wearing his pants and stood up. I took off the pants and tried to hand them over.

But the moment I unbuckled it, I suddenly remembered that I wasn’t wearing anything under jeans. Jung Yiyeon’s eyes were on me. Feeling like a stripper in the middle of the day, my hands stopped.

“…Secretary Lee.”

Jung Yiyeon called me, who was hesitating.

“Well, the matter with your Hyung can’t be solved now, right?”

“…That…Yes.”

“Um, then…”

Jung Yiyeon hesitated without answering.

“Would you like to finish what we started?”

To say something like that.

Father, Mother who watched over me from heaven, and my Hyung who found out that I had sex with a man. What was I going to do with this person? How could that person be so faithful to his instincts? I didn’t think the intention was ever to make me forget reality for a while…

As I was looking for my whole family, I suddenly remembered a second problem that I had forgotten for a while. I wanted to check it out, but at the same time, my heart was pounding. Perhaps my gaze on Jung Yiyeon was also unusually trembling.

“…Boss.”

“Hm?”

“… Did you hear what my Hyung said before leaving?”

My voice was a little shaky as I asked that question.

Jung Yiyeon kept his mouth shut for a moment. Waiting for his answer, I couldn’t say anything as well and the tip of my tongue hardened.

A few seconds of brief silence. But for a time that felt like eons, the tension that gripped my whole body felt like my breath stopped. I wanted to avoid Jung Yiyeon’s gaze fixed on me. But he couldn’t take his eyes off me. In vain hope that maybe I could get a glimpse of his inner heart, I waited for his reply, immobilized as if caught in a spider’s web.

“Your Hyung…”

Ba-Dump. The beating of my heart was beating loudly as if it would tear my ear, Jung Yiyeon’s soft voice penetrated my ear.

“Did he say something? Since I was punched by you, I was so out of it, I couldn’t hear anything.”

***

Just as it was a lie to say that I had a week that was no different from riding a roller coaster, despite the riots over the weekend, when a new week began, my daily life was the same as usual. There was one thing that made me feel at ease.

When I contacted my brother, he told me not to worry because he wasn’t shocked at all. When he said that I should do what I want to do and live, it seemed that it was not limited to the realm of the career path. My Hyung was a person who would not care about my identity, whatever it was. He also relieved my worries by telling me not to worry about it, since he had seen a lot of things in his life.

Of course, hearing those words didn’t make me feel at ease right away, but time was short.

It’d been a month since then. It had been a long time since my mind and body were restored, and my daily life flowed quietly as always.

“Boss, it’s meeting time.”

“Yes.”

Including my relationship with Jung Yiyeon.

That morning, what more could I say to Jung Yiyeon, who replied, ‘I haven’t heard anything’. I was relieved, to say the least. I strangely had a bitter aftertaste in my mouth. I laughed awkwardly without being able to understand whether I was unhappy or lucky.

If Jung Yiyeon’s attitude had changed since then, I could have been certain that he had listened to his brother. His attitude toward me was the same as before. Thanks to this, at first I was wary of whether he heard our conversation but pretended to be ignorant, however as time passed, even the tension and vigilance became dull.

I couldn’t even remember right now because so many things happened throughout the day and for a short time, my emotions were fluctuating, and I was completely restless. However, I thought it was wise not to ask more of Jung Yiyeon. The relationship between me and Jung Yiyeon was now more stable than ever.

In the end, it was a normal day again, just like any other Monday.

Jung Yiyeon, dressed in a black suit, seemed a little annoyed by the suddenly hot weather. So who was the one to tell me to wear the best and perfect outfit? He grumbled inwardly towards me, whose heart fluttered looking at how handsome he was.

However, it was only for a moment that I grumbled with excitement. It was true that he was in a bad mood as he frowned as if he hated even the sunlight coming in through the window. His outfit was too thick for the weather.

“Can I go home and bring you some other clothes?”

Oddly enough, that was what I asked. On a spring day in April, the room temperature was high due to the sudden temperature rise, but it was not the season to turn on the air conditioner yet. Of course, I could turn on the air conditioner for my boss.

It was still 11, but seeing that he was grimacing because it was hot, I wanted him to change his clothes. Moreover, he had a schedule outside for lunch.

“Will we make it in time?”

“I’ll be back for the meeting.”

“Please, then.”

…Oh I guess I really fell for you. I sighed inwardly.

You know, how people treat people younger than them. Usually, they call them using, “ya” and treat them like a stone rolling on the side of the road, but when they have something to request, they use the word, “Hyung, Unni”. When Jung Yiyeon usually asked for a favor, his use of honorifics would stir my heart. ‘Please.’ I still got goosebumps at every word he uttered.

The elevator stopped on the floor where the conference room was located, and Jung Yiyeon and I got out of the elevator. I was thinking of taking him to the conference room and leaving to visit Jung Yiyeon’s house.

But in that hallway, which was not long, I ran into an unexpected person.

“Hello.”

He bowed his head and greeted Seo Jaeoh. It was also the face I saw after a month.

Each greeting was directed to the president, Jung Yiyeon. However, after saying goodbye, Seo Jaeoh’s eyes were on me. The slightly swaying gaze made me strangely uncomfortable, so I turned my gaze away.

“Seo Jaeoh. How’s work?”

As always when receiving a greeting from an employee, Jung Yiyeon dared to stop and talk to Jaeoh, as if he shouldn’t just pass him by.

I knew that from the day after that Sunday when Hyung found out that I was wallowing with Jung Yiyeon, Jaeoh went to work as a concierge at the hotel. However, I, who was almost in the Boss’ office every day, stayed in the hotel lobby and never met Jaeoh, who had to deal with customers. It was quite a surprise to meet him like this. It wasn’t even on the floor where the guest room was, so I didn’t know what brought him here.

“Yes, thanks for your consideration.”

I laughed a little inside at the clumsy Seoul accent. Perhaps, if the boss had not been with me, I would have burst into laughter on the spot, forgetting even the awkwardness with Seo Jaeoh.

“Is there anything to consider?”

I had heard of Jaeoh’s parents running a business in Busan before. I didn’t know exactly what was going on, but I knew that when I was young, Jaeoh lived like a child who rebelled against his parents. It was he who refused even when his parents told him to study abroad. So, when Jaeoh suddenly said that he was going to his parents’ house in Busan, I remember being surprised.

It seemed that the relationship with his parents had recovered to some extent. I didn’t know if that had an influence, but his relative, Jang Wonhyeong, had previously put in a request, and Jaeoh came to work here through connections.

“Let’s have dinner next time. Now I have a meeting.”

“Of course, Sir. Welcome.”

Once again, Jaeoh bowed to greet him, and Jung Yiyeon received his greeting by nodding his head. As I followed him towards the conference room, Jaeoh’s gaze turned to me.

Oh, shot. It was so embarrassing. That was why in college, we didn’t have couples in the same department or it would have internal problems. It was embarrassing to cry in front of him saying I liked other people.

“I’ll just go.”

“…Okay.”

I took Jung Yiyeon to the meeting room and immediately left the meeting room.

Min Seowon had not visited Jung Yiyeon, and Jaeoh had never contacted me. So my mind could be relatively calm.

However, after meeting Jaeoh for a while today, my stomach became noisy again. I didn’t mind when I rejected the others, but this time was a little different. Perhaps that was because today’s me, through unrequited love, learned the same damn thing.

Also, the time we spent together was long. I couldn’t help but feel guilty about Jaeoh, who was my cherished younger brother and friend.

Of course, there was nothing I could do about it. When I tried to contact Jaeoh and express my guilt, I was just deceiving Jaeoh so that I could feel at ease. It was the right way to just let it pass and forget about it as it is.

I went down to the parking lot and opened the car door. The phone in my pocket vibrated. It was a short message.

Want to grab a drink together?

It was a proposal from Seo Jaeoh that I could never answer.

I read Jaeoh’s message, ignored it, and headed to Jung Yiyeon’s house. I returned to work with a gray-tone suit made of relatively thin material from the dressing room of his house. It took less than an hour to park the car in the underground parking lot.

But, unrealistically, I ran into Seo Jaeoh in the underground parking lot. It was such amazing timing as it has been waiting, so I got goosebumps. Jaeoh found me and walked straight towards me without avoiding me. Thanks to this, I couldn’t avoid him, so I stood and hesitated for a while.

The only difference was that I felt sorry, but this kind of meeting had been a situation that I had been very tired of before. In the past, I was a person who could not curse Jung Yiyeon. No matter who he was, he only pursued a simple relationship, so he hated the messy parting with emotions and the refusal of a sincere confession. I hated the sincere confession itself, which tended to lead to such a situation after I had grown up to a certain age.

The thing I hated the most was meeting again with a relationship that wasn’t neatly organized. I had nothing to say on my part, but being awkward was annoying. I couldn’t control my anger properly, the other person was outraged by my arrogant attitude and even tried to harm me.

So Jaeoh didn’t want to meet me either. Jaeoh wouldn’t do me any harm, but he had feelings for him that were a little more complicated than other past relationships. It was the same as the fact that I had someone I liked, the fact that I felt guilty about refusing his confession, and above all, it was even more so in that I was the one who cried while confessing that I had a crush on another person on my side.

“Why did you keep on read?”

Seo Jaeoh, standing in front of me, threw a fastball without hesitating. 

“… I don’t know what to answer.”

So I answered honestly.

“I had nothing more to say. I thought it was over with how we parted last time…”

“What did you say? Did I ask you to sleep with me? Who said I like you? I have something called self-esteem, you know?”

Jaeoh said with a frown on his handsome brow, and I clenched my lips.

“I’m not so desperate that I would cling to someone who likes someone else. But does that mean I won’t hang out with you? What was going on in the first place?”

“… … .”

“Aren’t the years we spent too long for that?”

That wasn’t wrong. There was no one as smart as he was, but we were on the verge of having sex a while ago…it was true that previously we had a relationship where we causally had sex… Still, it didn’t mean that we were dating or that we liked each other. There was no confession, no possessiveness, no obsession.

But that didn’t mean I didn’t know anything.

Seo Jaeoh liked me.

Even though he knew I was an asshole, he constantly contacted me and treated me well without getting tired these past years. I actually knew that he had a great affinity for me to the point where he even gave up his position. Instead of trying to hold me for refusing to settle down, he was trying to be content with letting me set free and staying by my side.

I knew and pretended not to know. He was content with his invisibility and just enjoyed his physical relationship with me.

But the night before, didn’t he know? From now on, Jaeoh and I will no longer be able to get along like we used to.

So now I feel burdened by him. I was, of course, sorry and guilty of not accepting his heart, but…It was only part of it. I was born too selfish to be completely sorry.

Burden. To put it more frankly, I wanted to avoid his feelings for fear of being bothered. I was so tired of worrying about how Jaeoh wanted me to feel.

“I can clearly see what you are thinking, Lee Nan.”

Had my face not been able to hide my feelings again? Jaeoh laughed bitterly. He smiled as if he knew who I was and what I felt.

A smile that hid the true feelings. I used to be insensitive before, but now I feel a tingle in the corner of my heart. All because of Jung Yiyeon, I was now a little different from before. I couldn’t decide at all whether it was right to cut it off so that there was no room left, or whether it was right to pretend that I didn’t know anything at all and allow him to be by my side.

“…Nevermind. Let’s have a drink next time.”

I couldn’t stop his mouth from moving, of course.

When I returned to the Boss’ office, another secretary was filling my seat. Jung Yiyeon did not have an attendant secretary, but a secretary was essential, such as answering calls from at the office, serving tea when guests arrived, or running small errands. After I got the job, I did most of the work, but there was a secretary who kept the office when I had to be away from time to time.

“Were there any calls from someone?”

“Yes. It’s been about 20 minutes since he came from the meeting, and he is talking to Jang Wonhyung now.”

Only then did I understand why Jaeoh had appeared on the floor where the conference room was, and also from the underground parking lot. It seemed that his relative, President Jang, came and guided him.

“Thank you for your effort.”

“Of course…Secretary Lee, are you heading anywhere else? I’m going to a department store this afternoon.”

“A department store?”

“Yes. Boss’ errands.”

Seeing her smiling face, I wondered what he ordered her to buy. Often there was a case where Jung Yiyeon would send gifts to people around him, and when that happened, I tended to hand over the work to the secretary’s office under his instructions. Other times, I was mostly trying to figure it out, but this time I was curious because it happened while I was away.

“Is he buying the present for someone?”

“He didn’t say anything special but just said to buy something suited for a young man…”