I Ran Away And The Reverse Harem Started Chapter 120

Madam Bullosen stared at me with wide, disbelieving eyes. Her face was a whirlwind of emotions too complex to name, and I couldn’t say a single word.

“Young lady—no, you… are you really Irene?”

She hesitated in her steps as she approached me. Her expression looked dazed, as though caught in a dream, wandering through a memory.

But she didn’t rush toward me. She kept her distance—because of me.

Seeing her take a step forward, reaching for me, I instinctively stepped back. My mind told me that I should run into the arms of the mother I’d been separated from for twenty years, but my body flinched, reacting to her like she was a stranger.

No… this isn’t right…

Madam Bullosen stopped in her tracks at my reaction.
She looked at me, confused, then clutched her dress tightly and smiled through trembling eyes.

“We’ve had so much stolen from us, haven’t we…”

Her voice was steeped in sorrow, the kind no one could easily imitate.

“They took our time… they even took away our ability to recognize our own family. It’s unbearable.”

“I… I’m sorry, madam.”

The apology slipped out before I could stop it. I just didn’t want her to be hurt. But to my relief, Madam Bullosen gently shook her head with a soft, understanding smile.

“You have nothing to be sorry for.”

“……”

“I’m your mother, and I couldn’t even recognize you at first. It’s only natural that you’d feel distant from me.”

“……”

“I think… we’ll need a lot of time. Maybe not enough to make up for what was lost… but still, time to slowly grow close again.”

“……”

“It’s okay. Just knowing you’re alive is enough. Really…”

“……”

“It’s such a relief.”

She nodded, as if that fact alone was enough—that I had survived. And before I realized it, her eyes had welled up as she looked at me. There was a flicker of deep relief in her expression.

She nodded again, gently, as though convincing herself that it was truly enough. Then, slowly—almost as if asking for permission—Madam Bullosen stepped closer and took my hand.

She was wearing soft, white gloves. The gloved hand gently patted the back of mine.

It felt strange. Even through the thin fabric, her warmth reached me. It was unfamiliar, but something inside me swelled unexpectedly.

I could say with certainty—this reunion, one she must have dreamed of for over a decade,  wasn’t supposed to feel this awkward. And that made me feel terribly sorry, bringing tears to my eyes.

A strange sense of loss washed over me.

“Don’t cry, sweetheart. We’ll be close again, you’ll see. I’m your mother. And you’re my daughter. Isn’t that right?”

“……”

“Someday, you must tell me everything. How you grew up so well—I want to hear all of it.”

“Yes.”

“I’m so sorry I left you alone back then.”

Her voice trembled, even as she tried to smile. She couldn’t hide the shaking in her words.

“I just… I had to say that. I’ve held it in for a lifetime.  Just being able to say it now—that’s enough. Your father… he was so sorry, too.”

“……”

“I truly am sorry. Can you ever forgive me?”

Her hand gently stroked the back of mine as she spoke, and I couldn’t say anything in return. My vision had blurred too much.

Behind her, even Yvette, Daniel, Colin, and Deborah looked like hazy silhouettes through mist.

Madam Bullosen, watching me hiccup and sob with my lips trembling, just kept patting my hand.

She stayed by my side, waiting until my tears stopped. That, too, was a kindness just for me.

 

 

 

****

 

 

By the time I had stopped crying, the moon had started to tilt, and a bluish light had settled over the surroundings.

Colin, Daniel, and I decided to return to Roan’s estate. Even though it had been revealed that I was the missing second daughter of the Bullosen family, it didn’t mean that a bond with them had suddenly formed.

My lost memories hadn’t returned, and the people who’d been separated from me for twenty years still felt like strangers.

Because of that, I couldn’t go to the Bullosen estate. Yvette and Madam Bullosen, as if understanding how I felt, gently encouraged me instead. Deborah, on the other hand, would stay at the Bullosen estate instead of the temple.

“If Saint Deborah were to be captured by the temple or the royal court, we can’t predict what might happen. And with news of the fake saintess and the kidnapping plot spreading tomorrow… the Bullosen estate will be the safest place.”

Deborah nodded in agreement. But she didn’t immediately return to the carriage. She hesitated and then approached me.

“…I never would’ve imagined that Miss Rosieta was actually Lady Irene Bullosen. I…”

Deborah couldn’t easily continue. She too had believed that Irene Bullosen was dead. Only now had she realized I was the missing daughter.

Guilt clouded her expression—deep, unfiltered guilt. Though the Bullosen family had comforted her, the moment she faced the one who was meant to be the real saintess, she looked pained all over again.

I could tell what she was going to say. Before she could apologize, I quickly reached out and grabbed her hand.

“You don’t need to apologize. Saintess Deborah, you have nothing to feel sorry about. You didn’t order anyone to kidnap me.”

Deborah looked surprised at my firm words. Her eyes reddened again, but she held herself together. She was a strong woman.

Then she smiled gently and asked:

“This might sound a bit sudden, but… would you call me just Deborah from now on?”

“Huh?”

“I’m not a saintess anymore… And I’d like you to call me by name. Like a friend. It may sound shameless of me, but…”

“Oh…”

“Is that… not okay?”

Friend. Come to think of it, Deborah and I were the same age, and we’d seen each other plenty. Now that she was no longer the saintess, friend felt like the right label for us.

If Baron Louis hadn’t kidnapped me, or if the temple had never made such a ridiculous prophecy, could we have been friends from the beginning?

Lost in thought, I lifted my head. Deborah was looking at me with a faint, hopeful smile.

Understanding what she meant, I gave a big nod.

The Bullosen carriage left, carrying the family and Deborah. The café building was now dark, and the alley around us was dimly lit.

I stood in place, watching as the Bullosen carriage vanished into a dot in the distance, then turned around. Colin and Daniel were waiting for me.

“So… should we go too?”

At my question, the two exchanged glances.

“Will you be okay?”

“What wouldn’t I be okay about? It’s not like I changed overnight. I’m still me.”

I answered cheerfully, but I couldn’t help the slight crack in my voice. My head was still spinning with fatigue and thoughts, but I straightened my shoulders and spoke boldly on purpose.

“Honestly, I do need time to sort things out in my head. But it’s fine. And even if it’s not, so what?”

“What I meant was… you can lean on us. Talk to us, Rose.”

Colin finally spoke. Daniel also looked at me in agreement.

“You always try to deal with things alone. You just met your parents—how could you possibly be fine?”

“……”

“No matter how many times you say you’re okay, we’re not buying it.”

His tone wavered between concern and complaint, but I knew exactly what they were worried about. They were afraid I’d spiral again, carrying everything on my own in silence.

I gave them a wide grin.

“Actually? I’ve got a favor to ask you guys.”

“A favor?”

“Yup. I’m planning to totally annoy you from now on. No more suffering in silence, trying to handle everything by myself.”

The two of them widened their eyes.

And I wasn’t just saying it. There were still so many unresolved things. Tomorrow, articles about Baron Louis’s horrific kidnapping scheme would flood the kingdom. The temple would be in chaos over the disappearance of Deborah.

And before the trial formally began, there was one more thing I needed to confirm.

“Can you guys spare some time for me? There’s something I need to check—outside the capital.”

“Outside the capital?”

“Yeah. Somewhere very familiar to us.”

As twilight settled and a soft blue light surrounded us, I looked at both of them in turn. They stared at me with puzzled expressions, and I smiled.

To solve an old question of mine, I had to return to where my life had begun.

“My memory. I need to find the memories from before I was eight.”

Daniel once said I had been a gloomy child before arriving at the Holis orphanage. And I remembered nothing from before I turned eight.

Sure, it could’ve been childhood haze. Old memories tend to fade, or get rewritten in your head. But not remembering anything—not a single thing—was strange.

All I had was the vague idea that I had “drifted through orphanages before settling at Holis.”

But what if even that was false?

“I need to find my childhood memories. Even if it’s just a small piece… even if it’s just remembering Rumiz abandoning me, that alone could be important for the trial.”

“……”

“Of course, I could go alone, but…”

I hesitated, then stepped closer to them. When I reached out my hands, Colin and Daniel each took one.

The headmistress at our orphanage had been a devout believer. She used to force us to hold hands and pray at set times. It had always felt uncomfortable, but right now, it strangely felt familiar and comforting.

“I won’t make you guys worry anymore. So… will you come with me? I think if I go back to where our orphanage used to be, something will come back. I want you both there with me.”

“……”

“I just don’t want to deal with things alone anymore. I want to lean on you.”

I spoke softly, carefully.

Yes— The small, old orphanage in Holis, now burnt down and gone. The place where my memories started again.

Something told me that if I went there— the place where someone had intentionally set that fire— I might find a missing piece of my life.

Daniel once said I came out of the library after a week like a completely different person.

What had The Delusional Saintess meant to me as a child? How did a lifeless girl find hope again through a book like that?

As soon as I finished speaking, Daniel and Colin squeezed my hands.  Firmly. Like they wouldn’t let go. Like they wouldn’t let me run.

“Wherever you want to go, we’re going with you. Even if you told us not to—we’d still follow.”