How about Cosmic Horror? Chapter 3

Irae confessed, swallowing her shame. As she did, one of the rings around the planet wobbled from side to side.

“And what is with that awkward way of addressing me?”

“You look like a magnificent being. Should I say, ‘Your Eminence’?”

She wasn’t joking; she meant it. 

Wouldn’t you feel like you were in the presence of a transcendental being if you saw someone with a planet instead of a head? Like a god, or a guardian of the universe, or something.

Whatever was so funny, his shoulders began to tremble again. She had noticed yesterday, too — this man had an absurdly low threshold for laughter. He giggled at everything she said.

“Just because of one planet?”

“Your Eminence owns multiple planets?”

“You’re giving me goosebumps. Just talk to me like you used to, honey.”

“I don’t remember how I ‘used to’ talk.”

“Asshole, jerk, bastard, crazy son of a… you probably used every curse word with ‘son of a’ in it. Across the entire universe, you’re the only one who’s cussed me out that much.”

“Did you eliminate everyone else before they had a chance (to curse at you)?”

It was obviously a joke, but he fell silent.

Was it not funny…? Or was he offended? Did I cross a line? While she was busy overthinking, he spoke.

“You can say that.” 

His playful response threw her off. Why drag it out and make me nervous like that?

Deflated, Irae stared at the planet that spun where his face should’ve been. Just having a planet instead of a head was grotesque enough to trigger unease, but maybe she’d gotten used to it, or maybe because it had a mystical vibe.

The planet, which was initially blue like Uranus, was now closer to lime green. Maybe the color changed from time to time? What was the pattern? Was it random, like an LED light?

“Um…”

“Yes, honey?”

“Can I… touch your face?”

Instead of answering, he took her hand.

The unexpected contact made her flinch.

From the neck down, he had a normal human form, so it wasn’t scary per se. But the thought of being touched by a stranger made her tense. Technically, he was her husband, not a stranger, but… in her current state, he felt like a stranger she’d only just met.

His fingers slowly interlaced with hers, locking their hands together. The simple gesture made her tense even more.

Then, still holding her hand, he guided it toward his “face.”

Her hand passed through the swirling rings of the planet — and then she felt skin.

That was when it hit her.

So it really is my brain. The man’s actual face is there, I just… can’t see it.

She gently caressed his features.

His strong jawline with no excess flesh.

His straight, prominent nose.

His eyelids, closed in response to her touch.

His long lashes that tickled her palm.

His smooth forehead.

His soft, tender lips.

This was, without a doubt, a human being.

“I can feel your face, so why does it look like a giant space ball…?”

She accidentally muttered aloud, and the cheek beneath her palm trembled. For some unknown reason, she must’ve hit his laughter button again.

Wait. Is his sense of humor so weird that life was boring until I came along and hit his comedy sweet spot, so he married me? Like how comedians often marry beauties? There’s no other reason a rich, handsome guy would chase me down.

That must be it. Solving a mystery on par with the Seven Wonders of the World brought her peace.

Honestly, she’d been suspicious he might be an insurance scammer who took out a policy in her name, planning to off her for the payout. Maybe her hospital stay was the result of a failed attempt disguised as an accident. But if they got married because their humor clicked, she didn’t have to worry about being murdered.

Subtly slipping her hand out of his grasp, she stared at the planet, which had now turned light pink. The rings, which were once plain circles, had transformed into hearts of all shapes and sizes. The pink planet was surrounded by hearts, spinning merrily.

She took a picture with her phone. In her photo album, there was a handsome man with an expression as bright and cheerful as a kitten. 

What the… 

Puzzled, she set the phone down and looked at him.

“Did the photo turn out alright?”

“Yes. With a face like that, even photos taken from the most unflattering angles would turn out great.”

She checked the photo again. Even shot carelessly, it could go straight into a magazine. His beauty was truly a feast for the eyes. 

Knowing this guy was her husband made her lips curl into a smile.

“I’m glad you like my face.”

He whispered in a sweet voice. She thought it was an odd thing to say. Why else would she marry him if she didn’t like his face? 

No, his looks were beyond like or dislike. Like anything exceptional, moderate excellence can’t transcend taste, but unmatched excellence obliterates it. His appearance, at least in the photo, was in the realm of absolute beauty, undeniable by anyone. She hadn’t seen him in person, but…

Is he just insanely photogenic?

No, judging by the nurse’s reaction yesterday, he must be stunning in real life too. And in last night’s dream, he was breathtakingly gorgeous.

Maybe the dream exaggerated it, but when their eyes met, she thought her heart would stop.

“Excitement” was too tame a word for that thrill. The bone-chilling sensation, every cell in her body standing on end, was closer to the fear of death than soft emotions like love or butterflies.

I’ll never feel that intense a shock again, no matter who I meet. Too bad his beauty is sealed in a planet right now… How long will I see a planet head?

“What’s on your mind, honey?”

“Huh? Just pondering the birth and death of stars or something. By the way, uh…”

Irae hesitated, unsure how to address him. “Honey” felt too awkward without memories, and calling him “Mr. So-and-So” seemed appropriate, but she didn’t know his name. The shock of the tentacle bundle at their first meeting made her forget to even ask.

“Excuse me, but… what’s your name?”

“My name?”

He said his name, speaking clearly at a steady pace. But suddenly, a sharp ringing in her ears made her head spin, and dizziness hit. For a moment, her mind went blank, and she couldn’t catch what he said.

“Sorry, could you say it again?”

She asked, holding her forehead. Was this another aftereffect of the accident? She’d never had headaches, but this felt like her head was splitting.

After a brief silence, he spoke. 

“Yohan.”

The name, delivered softly, sounded somewhat foreign. Like John (Yohan sounds similar to Johann/John/Johan) from the Gospel? Were his parents devout Christians? 

“Go Yohan (means ‘serene/silent’ in Korean).”

Maybe they wished for him to grow up quiet and well-behaved. 

“Did you cry a lot as a baby?”

“Why do you ask?”

“I thought maybe your parents named you that, with a desperate wish for you to be quiet, since you cried day and night.”

He clutched his stomach and trembled silently.

Irae gave up on trying to understand his humor. She didn’t remember how she got there, but she must be sitting on his laugh button. Every little move she made was like tap-dancing on it. It was like the comedian version of ‘I find everything my child does adorable’, except in this case, it was ‘I find everything my spouse does hilarious’. 

“Wanna get discharged today?”

The planet atop his suit-clad body asked kindly. With no eyes, nose, or mouth, she couldn’t tell his expression, but his voice was warm, so she’d take it as kind.

After running some tests, the doctor told her she could stay a few more days for observation, but if she wanted to be discharged, she was free to go. 

Naturally, she leaned towards discharge. The private room she was in was way too lavish. It was nicer than most hotel rooms she’d seen, and she couldn’t even begin to imagine how much it cost per night. At this point, she felt like the thought of the hospital bill was more terrifying than her husband’s face changing into a tentacle monster and then a planet.

To think she’d wake up to a VIP hospital room that probably cost hundreds, if not thousands, of dollars per night… Now that was true cosmic horror. 

What’s cosmic horror, anyway? The sudden arrival of a transcendent being—a terrifying threat that humans are powerless to stop, escape from, or even comprehend. That’s the hospital bill, to a T. You don’t know how you ended up here, you don’t know how much it will cost, and you can’t refuse to pay…

Letting out a deep sigh, Irae nodded weakly.

“I should get discharged.”

“But why do you look so troubled?”