The Sweet Alpha Crown Prince Loves Me So Much Chapter 132

Chapter 132

Everyone has one or two secrets they want to hide from others.

Carl Lindbergh’s secrets were like that.

Not revealing his inner feelings of depression and frustration. Not begging for sympathy by telling others how pitiful he was.

Not showing that he had lost his parents early.

The kind of part-time jobs a student could do without parental consent were often illegal, and there were always bad influences involved.

Some were just victims of the world’s prejudice, but a few really wanted to drag Jeon Woo-young into that world.

He had learned to smoke but couldn’t get along with it and quit. He avoided harsh language and tried to appear like a good person, all as a desperate effort to not burden others with his misfortunes.

He practiced an innocent expression, erased the weariness of his life, and packaged himself with a gentle tone, enduring each day.

At some point, that suppression manifested as self-destructive behavior. At first, he didn’t think it was a problem.

It was about throwing himself into danger to help others, and he couldn’t accept his own lack of composure.

As time went on, he felt that all his actions to help others were a reaction to his inferiority complex, and he suffered throughout his life.

Perhaps he was just trying to find a reasonable way out of this harsh and painful life.

It was less embarrassing to die saving someone than to commit suicide because life was too hard.

The world of the novel—except for a few months in Lindbergh—was too warm to Jeon Woo-young, and it brought him happiness accompanied by anxiety.

When he faced Adrian Heineken’s cool gaze, Carl Lindbergh was afraid because he realized that he had almost ruined it with his own hands.

Adrian offered Carl, who was waiting for his judgment like a condemned man, an absurd choice.

“Choose. Whether you want to see me, for once in your life, abandon my life for you, or if you want to bear the brunt of everything I’ve held back until now.”

There was no choice.

The mere thought of Adrian Heineken’s back, leaving his sword behind to throw away his life, was terrifying, and at the same time, it reminded him of what Carl Lindbergh had done to Adrian.

He hadn’t gone to die, but to save. He couldn’t even dare to make the excuse that he was confident he could do it.

Frankly, he was lucky that Mugicha Parman was more lax than he thought. If he hadn’t stalled for time, Carl would have truly walked into hell with Adrian Heineken as his companion.

“…Even if it’s painful, I’ll take it. Adrian.”

As long as you don’t leave my side.

Bang!

Hearing Carl’s answer, Adrian destroyed Mugicha’s magic circle without hesitation.

The magic circle, whose caster had left and whose materials were insufficient, easily lost its effectiveness. However, when Adrian broke Mugicha’s magic stone with his sword, Carl Lindbergh couldn’t help but shout, “That’s dangerous!”

“What about you? Weren’t you in danger?”

At Adrian’s sharp retort, Carl, who had become silent, was not escorted by Count Bourbon, Juniper, or Marquis Macallan, who arrived late. He was carried on Adrian’s horse to Heineken.

 

***

 

Rubbing his dry eyes, Carl Lindbergh got out of bed.

It wasn’t that long ago that he left the Imperial Palace for the kingdom, but spring flowers were already in full bloom in the gardens of Heineken.

Shortly after sunrise, a maid came in, drew the curtains, and prepared breakfast. It was already the third day that he had woken up to the spring breeze and sunlight wafting through the thin fabric covering the bed.

He rustled and looked to the side.

The indented pillow and the wrinkles in the blanket proved that Adrian had been there overnight.

“He left early today.”

Despite his threats, Adrian hadn’t done anything.

As soon as they arrived, Adrian settled not in the main castle but in an annex, ignoring the Emperor and Empress’ summons and stayed with Carl.

Carl Lindbergh ate breakfast alone, and after lunch with Adrian, who had returned. Adrian would leave again around dinner time, leaving Carl Lindbergh, who would doze off due to the drowsiness that came over him.

On the first day, he met with Jed Hendrick, the Imperial physician, had a full body checkup, measured his residual magical power, and received various medicines and healing magic stones.

Adrian didn’t joke or act affectionately as before.

He just stayed by his side and followed Carl Lindbergh’s every step with his eyes.

“Ah, there’s that too.”

Carl Lindbergh stared blankly at the empty seat beside him and muttered to himself.

There was no physical contact.

Adrian kept everything Carl Lindbergh did—eating, washing, sleeping—under his control.

Everything, including washing Carl’s naked body in the bathtub and changing his clothes.

“And yet, he didn’t give me a single sticky look.”

As if taking care of a baby.

Silently.

Two days passed like that, and then another.

Carl, who could only sit blankly in bed most of the day, do some light exercises, and wait for Adrian, realized that this was his punishment.

Every second he thought of Adrian, his heart ached.

Not being able to see anyone and being alone was nothing.

It was more painful than he thought that the person he loved no longer desired him.

He had been eager to touch, constantly kissing and snuggling without hesitation just a few days ago.

The unfamiliar and awkward time was hard to bear.

It has only been two days.

He felt like crying, so he curled up and breathed raggedly.

Afraid that his answer would be fear, Carl couldn’t bring himself to talk to him, and Adrian never initiated a conversation beyond the necessary words.

“He doesn’t even smile.”

Carl deliberately muttered out loud.

“You were bad.”

Was it Adrian? No, Carl Lindbergh was bad.

He had been so cherished and treated with such sincerity, the foolish Carl Lindbergh.

“I’m lonely, Adrian.”

I’m so lonely I could die. I’m more afraid that you might be disappointed than facing Mugicha Parman alone.

Knock, knock.

Just then, someone knocked on the door.

Adrian didn’t need to knock, so Carl, who was dressed sloppily, instinctively covered himself with the blanket.

Knock, knock.

The sound of knocking came again.

When there was no answer from inside, the person outside talked to the guards standing in front of the door in a low voice and then entered.

The person carefully walked to the table, paused for a while, and sighed deeply.

The sound of dishes hitting the table was heard as if adjusting the position of the utensils, and the person, who had been busy tidying up the room, headed for the door again.

“Prince, if you’re awake, please don’t skip your meals. And take your medicine regularly. His Highness the Crown Prince is worried.”

The person, who had carefully started the conversation, hesitated for a moment and continued.

“Her Majesty the Empress, and, also, the servants, the knights, are also worried.”

He muttered to himself, “I hope you get well soon.”

Until he went outside, Carl Lindbergh was swallowing tears under the blanket.

The familiar voice was filled with concern for Carl. And in it, he read the message that Adrian was still taking care of Carl.

Adrian still loved Carl Lindbergh.

Should love also be a habit? Only one person didn’t know.

There were many people in this vast world who worried about Carl Lindbergh, and Adrian was the foremost among them.

He almost turned his back on all of that.

“Hic.”

After crying for a long time, Carl Lindbergh got out of bed.

He stretched his stiff body, stroked the spot where Adrian had been lying, and slipped his feet into the slippers.

On the table, there was soup steaming as if it had just been brought in, light and easily digestible vegetables, and watery fruits.

Seeing the violets that hadn’t yet dried from the morning dew, Carl finished his meal and composed himself.

 

***

 

“I want to talk, Adrian.”

Carl Lindbergh, who had been dozing like a chick due to the medicine, chased away his sleep and waited for lunchtime.

Adrian, who came in with the attendant who was serving lunch, saw Carl sitting cross-legged and approached the bed, pulling back the curtain.

The attendant went out at Adrian’s gesture, without even finishing setting the table.

What if he doesn’t answer? What if he says he doesn’t want to talk to me yet? Should I stop there? As he worried, Carl licked his lips.

“I want to talk. I want to explain, and also…”

Adrian stood by the bed and looked down at Carl.

There was no sign of displeasure, but his expression was still emotionless, and his confidence waned. Still, Carl didn’t stop.

If Carl remained silent here, the time when he could reach Adrian’s heart would drift further away.

“I want to apologize.”

Adrian slightly raised his eyebrows.

Carl’s lips were getting drier and drier with tension.

It’s okay. If he doesn’t want to listen now, I’ll apologize again in the evening, and if he doesn’t answer in the evening, I’ll talk to him again tomorrow.

There was plenty of time, and Adrian always came back to Carl’s side.

After a moment of silence, Adrian chose to sit next to him, contrary to Carl’s worries.

Carl wanted to see Adrian’s face, but he feared that if their eyes met, tears would spill out before words, so he just kept picking at the blanket.

Adrian asked, “What do you want to apologize for?”

“For constantly hurting you with my actions.”

Carl’s lower lip trembled uncontrollably. He had rehearsed the script in his head dozens of times before he came, but it was useless.

“For impulsively leaving you, acting on my own, and coming back injured.”

Tearing at the hangnails around his fingernails, Carl continued to stammer.

“For showing you the scene of me getting hurt, and… for breaking the promise we made to be together, and also…”

His eyelids were getting swollen. The tip of his nose was also turning red.

“For hiding my true self from you.”

Tears fell on the sheet.

He didn’t want to cry. He didn’t want to use tears as a weapon when asking for forgiveness.

“What is your true self? You’re not going to say that whispering love and opening your body to me was a lie, are you?”

He was momentarily taken aback by the unstoppable tears, even though he bit his lip until it bled, but Adrian’s cold tone made him cry even more.

“That’s not it, that’s real. I still love you. I just wanted to be a kind and wonderful person to you. I’m sorry for disappointing you.”

Carl gathered his knees.

Adrian grabbed Carl’s hand, which was getting smaller and smaller. Seeing the blood droplets around his fingernails from tearing at the hangnails, Adrian said in an agitated voice.

“You cursing? You being violent towards Mugicha? Do you think I would be disappointed by that? Do you think my love for you would cool down because of that? Do you think my love for you is that shallow?”

Looking up at Adrian’s face with wide eyes, Carl let out a short breath.

“The reason I’m angry is because you still seem to not know what you mean to me. Because it doesn’t seem to reach the depths of your heart, no matter how much I tell you!”

Adrian’s eyes also had tears welling up.

Like the morning violets. The saddest face made Carl’s heart shatter.