The Sweet Alpha Crown Prince Loves Me So Much Chapter 133

Chapter 133

“What are you apologizing for? Do you think I wouldn’t know what you were thinking when you did that? I thought you would at least look back once.”

That was what was on Adrian’s mind. He was deeply hurt that Carl Lindbergh hadn’t looked back even once when he threw himself into danger.

It was as if he was saying he had no regrets about leaving him.

Adrian grabbed Carl Lindbergh’s hand and pulled him closer, somewhat roughly.

Carl’s upper body awkwardly collapsed onto Adrian’s lap.

With his cheek touching Adrian’s chest, Carl could hear his heartbeat clearly.

“I understood that you have many things you cherish, so I endured your desire to be a good person to everyone.”

He had said he loved Adrian, after all. He had revealed his secrets to Adrian.

He had managed his feelings, thinking that was enough.

“But how could you? You turned your back to save me? Did you even think about me, who was left behind?”

Adrian embraced Carl’s body. Why wouldn’t he want to touch him? If he had ten nights, he wouldn’t be satisfied even if he held him continuously.

“What on earth makes you like that? Is it because I’m lacking? Did my love and trust sound absurd to you?”

He wanted to do as he pleased, but in the end, he made Adrian blame himself again. Overwhelmed with guilt, Carl closed his eyes tightly.

“No, it’s because I lack confidence. I thought I couldn’t be equal to you unless I did that. At that moment.”

At the absurd words, Adrian took a deep breath.

Carl held Adrian with his limp arms.

It wasn’t to soothe Adrian’s jealousy as he whispered his love, but a desperate attempt for Carl Lindbergh not to lose Adrian.

He crawled onto Adrian’s lap, clinging to him like a baby monkey, and pressed his lukewarm forehead against his neck.

“I don’t know your feelings, Carl Lindbergh.”

At Adrian’s tearful words, Carl shook his head.

If he didn’t convey it properly now, Adrian would have to suffer from anxiety again.

Hurting him once was enough.

No, come to think of it, he had already hurt him many times.

At first, he had disappeared because of the plot of the novel, and the second time, he had dared to imagine his infidelity.

Adrian had always stood there with the same feelings, but it was Carl Lindbergh who kept wavering.

Carl took a moment to catch his breath.

“I’m sorry for being reckless. I didn’t want to put you in danger, and I was filled with unfounded confidence. So, I didn’t realize that you would be in pain if something happened to me. I’m really sorry.”

“……”

Adrian stubbornly kept his mouth shut and tightened his embrace.

Carl confessed his weakness.

He was a transmigrator, he didn’t know about Omegaverse, and he had already finished the superficial story of this being a novel, but he had never told him in detail about the person ‘Jeon Woo-young.’

“I, um. I’ve lived like this all along. For all twenty-seven years of my life.”

Thus, Carl began the story of Jeon Woo-young.

“I wasn’t born into a very good family, but even though we were poor, our family of four—mom, dad, younger sister, and me—being harmonious was our only pride.”

He calmly told him things that not even his close friends, not even his younger sister Jae-young, knew.

Adrian listened intently.

“When I entered elementary school, no, when I was 8 years old, my younger sister was born. I remember my mother, who was old at the time, suffering from severe labor pains.”

His mother, who had always been frail, was withering day by day, he said in a trembling voice.

Adrian realized then why Carl had been so devoted to the Empress.

“My father loved my mother very much, but it must have been a little lacking for my mother. After giving birth, my mother became so depressed that she had to take medication. It started with her hating herself for not being able to take care of the child due to her poor health, and later it turned into hatred for other family members.”

It was something Adrian couldn’t easily understand. He had grown up in a loving family and felt that he, the only one without a mate, was quite pitiful.

“My mother’s condition was good for two days and bad for one, but when she was feeling good, she was the warmest person, so I was happy.”

Carl Lindbergh’s happiness was always in the past tense.

“When my sister was 7 and I was 14. My mother chose to kill herself in front of my sister, and my father followed.”

Adrian pulled Carl Lindbergh away from his body. He couldn’t bear not to see his face.

Paradoxically, Carl Lindbergh smiled faintly.

“My younger sister lost all her memories due to the shock, and I handled everything alone. When I delivered the obituary, when I reported the death with the police, I said it was all an unavoidable accident. It was obvious that there would be all sorts of rumors if parents committed suicide, leaving their child behind. That was all I could do.”

It was a miserable and pathetic past.

Carl Lindbergh’s eyes were filled with tears, but he didn’t wipe them away and instead smiled.

At the heavier story than expected, Adrian let out a sigh.

“If I live as I please, then all I could do was cry and resent my parents every day. Then my younger sister, who knows nothing, would also be hurt. So I smiled. I wanted to appear like a person without any flaws. I wanted to look brave.”

The world was not easy for a child. Inevitably, he couldn’t survive without someone’s help, but not many people were willing to help a gloomy and depressed child.

Even when his hands were freezing in the cold winter water, he kept his uniform collar clean. He washed his hair every day and brushed his teeth diligently.

Even though his past was miserable, people finally opened their hearts and approached him when he smiled brightly and acted friendly.

Jeon Woo-young went from being a seemingly good and upright child to a dishonest adult.

“It’s a depressing story, isn’t it? But don’t dwell on it. I just wanted to tell you. So that you can…”

Understand me, I want to ask you to understand me, even if I’m like this.

Finishing with a faint voice, Carl Lindbergh wiped away his tears with his sleeve.

Adrian will now pity Carl Lindbergh.

He will live cautiously, not wanting to touch Carl Lindbergh’s past.

Ah, the worst-case scenario. Carl hung his head.

The tragic backstory of a character in a novel was a pretty good element, but it was a bit different when it was reality.

It became a foothold for prejudice, ridicule, and pity, and was easily misunderstood. That was why Carl Lindbergh wanted to hide it if possible.

“Look up.”

Adrian grabbed Carl Lindbergh’s chin, but he shook his head and looked at the ground. He was too ashamed and embarrassed to face him.

“Sometimes, I worry that I might taint you. You’re the Crown Prince, after all.”

And the protagonist. If I don’t play my part, how can I stand by your side?

“I didn’t want to stand above you, but sometimes, wanting to be a good person, I do ridiculous things. But I won’t do that anymore.”

“I promise,” Carl raised his pinky finger, and Adrian desperately said, “Carl Lindbergh, please, look up.”

Adrian gritted his teeth. He grabbed both of Carl Lindbergh’s cheeks, who was desperately avoiding his gaze, but he tightly closed his eyes.

“Um, if you weren’t curious about that, I apologize for that too. But, really, I… I like you. I’m grateful that someone who has everything I want says he loves me. Just listen and forget it. Don’t pity me either. He’s dead. Jeon Woo-young is dead.”

The one in front of you is Carl Lindbergh. So please.

Keep loving me like that, Carl Lindbergh cried, and for the first time, Adrian felt disgusted with himself.

“Carl Lindbergh, open your eyes. It’s okay. Huh?”

Adrian soothed Carl Lindbergh and cried with him.

Carl was still out of his mind, with his magical power not yet fully recovered and the effects of the medicine.

“It hurts, Carl. Please.”

Adrian pushed his finger between Carl’s teeth, who kept biting his own lips.

Carl shook his head and clung to him. With a gentler motion than before, Adrian lifted him up, and at the sensation of his shoulder getting wet, he sobbed.

He had avoided delving this deeply into his heart.

“Adrian, I’m sorry.”

Apologizing, Carl asked Adrian if he still loved him.

“Don’t apologize. Huh? It’s okay, so don’t apologize anymore. It’s enough.”

What do you mean still? I have never not loved you, Adrian replied.

Carl Lindbergh’s sincerity was surprisingly pathetic.

Adrian swept up his hair covering his forehead and kissed his forehead repeatedly.

What Adrian wanted was for Carl Lindbergh to be unable to live without him. So that he wouldn’t look elsewhere, leaving him behind.

He wanted him to willingly stay by his side without needing to be isolated due to Adrian’s unconditional affection, not to beg for affection like this.

Unable to hide his miserable feelings, Adrian kissed the tears on Carl Lindbergh’s eyelashes.

The salty and sweet tears were as painful as being cut by a knife.

Funnily enough, Adrian Heineken had grown up relatively well compared to Carl Lindbergh. It might be impossible for him to fully understand his pain and deficiency.

But because Carl Lindbergh’s past, present, and future all belonged to Adrian, there was one thing he could be sure of.

“You won’t have to be in pain anymore. I’ll do better.”

“No, I’ll do better, Adrian.”

Wrapped in a blanket, Carl sniffled.

The two, embracing each other, awkwardly smiled, saying, “You,” “No, I.”

Then, Carl’s forehead started to heat up.

Adrian’s hand touched his forehead.

“I won’t force you to forget your previous life, Carl. Let’s overcome it together. Is that okay?”

He nodded silently.

Adrian was truly not harsh. He loved Carl Lindbergh too much to be harsh.

Carl Lindbergh reflected. He resolved to cherish himself for him, just as he wished, instead of throwing himself away to show his affection.

The two skipped dinner and talked until an exhausted Carl fell asleep.

Instead of Jeon Woo-young’s painful stories, they dug up good memories with his parents and younger sister. In the process, Adrian also learned that the witch was Carl’s younger sister. 

When Carl apologized for unintentionally hiding it, Adrian said, “I can’t win against someone who’s dead for a lifetime, but it’s different with someone who’s alive. I’ll try to make you cherish me more than her.”

As Adrian kissed his hand and patted his chest, Carl blinked and thought, ‘You’re already my top priority.’

As dawn broke and a new morning dawned, the two were closely attached without a gap.

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