I’m Just a Counselor Chapter 79

I was very puzzled, not knowing why Jeremiah had that look on his face.

 

I wondered if my mood was causing his face to look that way, but that didn’t seem to be the case.

 

Jeremiah had an unmistakable look of regret on his face, his light green eyes narrowed as if he were holding something back.

 

“No, why, no…”

 

Before I could finish, Jeremiah sighed softly and opened his mouth.

 

“Are you…”

 

He looked at me with a furrowed brow.

 

“Is it so important to you that you do it on your own?”

 

“No, I don’t…”

 

“Or is it important to you to draw a line in the sand between you and me?”

 

Jeremiah said, as if he was offended by something. I was speechless, unable to say anything. Maybe it was because his words hit the nail on the head.

 

“I’ve been thinking about it since last time. That Miss Vanessa keeps pushing me away.”

 

“…….”

 

“Of course it was me at first, because when you and I first met, all I had was Estella.”

 

“…….”

 

“But Vanessa, I’m obviously different now than I was then, and things have changed between you and me. Isn’t it?”

 

I flinched at the sudden question.

 

There was no way I didn’t know. The way Jeremiah treated me had definitely changed. How could I say I hadn’t noticed the favors, the kindness, he bestowed upon me.

 

I rolled my eyes as if to avoid his gaze. Then, looking for an escape, I opened my mouth.

 

“Even if things have changed, it’s still… Estella who is most important to the Duke, isn’t it?”

 

“Vanessa, why do you keep making me weigh you against Estella? She’s my family, she’s my sister, and she’s in a different category than you.”

 

“What category?”

 

“The feelings I have for you are not in…”

 

Jeremiah paused, seemingly choosing his words, but I didn’t wait for him.

 

I began to speak, interrupting him.

 

“It’s just that I’m used to doing things on my own, and I’m sorry if that upsets you, Duke.”

 

“…….”

 

“The Duke always tries to be nice to the people of the Duchy, so you shouldn’t… You told me the same thing: I belong to the Duke, so I shouldn’t be messing with anyone. Right?”

 

Jeremiah gave me a quizzical look, but didn’t argue back.

 

I was relieved by that and continued, feeling a little calmer.

 

“But I don’t want to inconvenience the Duke any more than I have to, so I’m going to take care of the problem as best I can.”

 

“…I guess I’ve been doing it wrong all along.”

 

Jeremiah opened his mouth as if to interrupt me again.

 

He smirked, then looked at me with serious eyes.

 

“Vanessa. I don’t like to hide much about myself, and that’s why I’m telling you.”

 

From his determined tone, I could easily guess that he was about to spit out something very important.

 

I didn’t want to hear it, but strangely, I couldn’t take my eyes off Jeremiah.

 

He held me there, and he spoke again and again. So that I couldn’t even pretend I didn’t hear him.

 

“I think I like you.”

 

“…Duke?”

 

“If I’m being honest about how I feel about you, this is what I meant when I said the other day that I’d like to try something a little different with you.”

 

“…….”

 

“So, I don’t want you to back away from me anymore.”

 

I’m not going to pretend like I don’t know what he’s talking about. Jeremiah looked at me with those eyes.

 

I stared back at him with eyes that hadn’t wavered even as he told me his confession. It was like a firecracker went off in my head.

 

‘Jeremiah likes me?’

 

At the festival, I thought… ‘Oh, no way!’

 

But then I realized that Jeremiah was right. He had shown me his crush many times. Verbally and through his actions. I just pretended I didn’t see the signs.

 

“Since when?”

 

The private office at the duke’s castle? Dance practice? No… before that?

 

When had Jeremiah become so unusually affectionate with me, so surely, he wasn’t joking when the spoke of being my suitor?

 

He obviously didn’t mean it when he proposed to me with the “Estella’s sister” reference at first, and then…

 

I blushed instantly. After everything that had happened at the duke’s castle, I felt like he was getting too close.

 

I realized that I had finally recognized Jeremiah’s feelings.

 

Recognizing and acknowledging them changed everything.

 

“Vanessa.”

 

“No, it’s not that, Duke, it’s not…”

 

“I’ve been staying out of your affairs because you didn’t seem to want me to, but I must stop pretending to be so graceful.”

 

“…….”

 

“Because I can’t stand it anymore when you draw the line at me.”

 

“…….”

 

“I’m getting a little impatient myself.”

 

I blinked slowly, unable to believe that Jeremiah was getting impatient because of me. I felt like I’d just been swept up in the storm.

 

And then I had a doubt. Should I really be here, listening to this?

 

‘That’s the way it is.’

 

Compared to Jeremiah, I… am not noble, not gifted with special abilities, not beautiful enough to stand beside him.

 

I’m not even close. If I were in a novel, I’d be an extra-extra one.

 

‘What does Jeremiah see in me that he likes?’

 

I suddenly felt like asking Jeremiah, but thankfully, I knew better than to ask.

 

My chest felt strangely tight. I needed time to collect my thoughts, time to cool my face, and I needed to get out of Jeremiah’s line of sight.

 

I jumped to a conclusion and spoke quickly.

 

“Well, first of all, the Duke… of me…”

 

“That I like you.”

 

“Whatever, I know you do!”

 

I was glad he hadn’t groped me.

 

I stumbled back to the door of the office. I was embarrassed to feel Jeremiah’s eyes on me.

 

I answered, deliberately avoiding his gaze.

 

“Well, that was very abrupt of you to say… I think I need some time to think about it on my own.”

 

“Vanessa.”

 

“I’m sorry, I have to go now, have a good night!”

 

I quickly thanked Jeremiah and stormed out of his office without giving him a chance to respond.

 

Just before I closed the door behind me, I noticed Jeremiah’s incredulous face, but I pretended not to see it.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Jeremiah!”

 

Jeremiah’s eyes opened heavily at the sound of a voice calling his name.

 

His mind, not yet fully organized, was dizzy. Jeremiah squeezed his eyes shut.

 

“Jeremiah. Hey.”

 

When he didn’t answer, the person in front of him called out once more. Jeremiah rolled his eyes and looked at the other man.

 

Shane was looking at him with an incredulous expression on his face. Jeremiah spoke slowly.

 

“What?”

 

“I’m doing this on the couch in the office.”

 

Jeremiah’s mouth dropped open again at his question. “Yeah, I know. I don’t know what that was.”

 

Jeremiah slowly recalled the events of the morning.

 

The events of the early morning had been completely unplanned, even for him. Vanessa had been baffled by the suddenness of it all, but so had Jeremiah. It was all done on impulse.

 

“I don’t ask the Duke to settle my affairs.”

 

He felt a pang of bitterness and regret at the words.

 

‘But I don’t want to cause her any more trouble, either.’

 

He thought he was a little stung by that. The woman who made excuses for herself, the woman who tried to push him away, the woman who refused to recognize anything.

 

So Jeremiah was convinced, and he did something completely out of character for her.

 

To him, it was almost like he was begging to her. It was something he’d never done before.

 

“I’m… hopeless.”

 

He might as well be in the middle of a snowy field facing a horde of demons.

 

The thought of all the things he’d almost said to her made his head spin.