The World of Contrasts Vol. 5 Chapter 2

Seol Daeyoung wants to kill me? It sounded like complete nonsense, but… remembering Daeyoung’s eyes during his rut made Jaemin’s nape prickle with goosebumps. If Daeyoung had gone completely mad over some trigger, killing someone who had dared to escape from him wouldn’t be entirely impossible.

But could Seol Daeyoung really kill him? Even if there were no feelings left, would he go so far as to kill?

No, if there are no feelings left, maybe my life means nothing to him anymore.

While these thoughts repeated in Jaemin’s confused mind like a broken record, Kwon Sangdo’s voice echoed hazily.

“You shouldn’t be talking to me like that. That thug…”

Kwon Sangdo, his gentle expression gone, continued with sharp eyes behind his glasses.

“To a public servant, and to me, about you…”

“…So what?”

Jaemin twisted his lips as he looked at Kwon Sangdo.

“I plan to save my son and kill that thug.”

Thud. Jaemin’s breath trembled as if his rapidly beating heart had dropped. Kwon Sangdo’s reason for meeting him was finally becoming clear. He swallowed dryly, looking at someone with an even more absurd and dangerous plan than he had thought. Was he serious?

“Mr. Mayor.”

Noticing Jeonghoon gently restraining Kwon Sangdo, Jaemin realized he wasn’t lying. Kwon Sangdo continued without hesitation.

“Getting rid of a social evil that’s come out into society, having been given an absurd amount of respect because he’s an alpha, aligns with my political stance. It’s extreme, but that’s what justice often is.”

“…Ah, I see.”

Jaemin nodded without hiding his lack of enthusiasm and asked him.

“Why are you telling me this?”

“It would be wise to delegate the task to a professional.”

“Aha.”

So, he wanted him to kill Daeyoung. That was his main point. Jaemin slightly opened his lips and rubbed his molars with his tongue.

“You won’t have to dirty your hands. Just lure him out, by any means necessary.”

“30 years after appearing out of nowhere, you ask for filial piety in a very strange way.”

Jaemin mocked him, but Kwon Sangdo responded with unwavering eyes.

“Yes. Asking for filial piety doesn’t make sense.”

Isn’t that obvious?

“Because you were an unwanted child.”

“…”

A blue vein popped on Jaemin’s temple.

“If you handle this well, I can make sure you live without worries in America. Of course, if you want, I won’t look for you ever again. I think what you want is probably… the latter.”

“I’ll take care of my own life. Sorry, but I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that. Seonho, let’s go.”

Jaemin stood up, and Seonho followed as if he had been waiting. Knowing the kind of aftermath getting entangled with Daeyoung again would bring, this proposal wasn’t even worth considering for him.

He only wanted to escape from him for a peaceful future, not for Daeyoung to die.

“Why, do you still have feelings for him because he’s the father of your child?”

Kwon Sangdo’s words, sharp as a blade, caught Jaemin’s ankle. He clicked his tongue and continued.

“For the alpha who raped you like a dog in front of people?”

“…”

“The biggest problem with omegas is exactly that. They think it’s natural to be exploited, not asserting their own rights.”

Jaemin’s clenched fist trembled beside his thigh. If Seonho hadn’t gently grabbed his arm, Jaemin might have overturned the table and grabbed Kwon Sangdo by the collar.

Jaemin had never once represented the position of omegas in his life, but the deceitful words from the man in front of him made his heart burn with anger.

Had he ever experienced exploitation in his life? Had he ever been in a position where he needed to assert his rights?

It might have been better if he had openly mocked omegas. The sight of him living by exploiting a group he despised internally while pretending to care for them on the surface made Jaemin nauseous.

“I am exercising my right to reject your shitty request, Mr. Mayor. To devote myself to putting you in the president’s seat… I don’t think our relationship is that close.”

“It’s not just for me. It’s the surest way to break the marking. Isn’t that the life you wanted? To forget the past and live peacefully, happily with someone unrelated, raising a child.”

Jaemin clenched his teeth before retorting.

“Now that it’s come to this… I’m curious where your confidence comes from, thinking I won’t go straight to Daeyoung and tell him this.”

“Go ahead and tell him.”

“…”

“I’ll never get involved with that thug again. But…”

Kwon Sangdo wet his lips with his drink and looked up at him.

“You’ll be the one to die. And your child will go to the other world without seeing the light of day.”

“Let’s go.”

If Seonho hadn’t strongly pulled Jaemin away, he might have stabbed Kwon Sangdo’s carotid artery with the chopsticks on the table. When Seonho opened the door, Jeonghoon stood up to block them.

“The mayor hasn’t finished speaking yet… Ugh!”

Before Jaemin could extend his hand, Seonho moved first. Jeonghoon, thrown roughly to the ground, tried to call someone from outside, but Kwon Sangdo raised his voice.

“Don’t cause a scene!”

Jaemin glared at Kwon Sangdo one last time before stepping over the threshold.

“I’ll wait.”

“No need.”

The sliding door closed behind Jaemin with a click.

“Are you alright?”

Jeonghoon asked in a lowered voice beside Kwon Sangdo.

“Anything is better than them sticking together. Send an audio file to that guy, stir things up a bit.”

“Do you think there’s no possibility that Jang Jaemin will actually go to Daeyoung?”

“Well. What do you think?”

Kwon Sangdo asked back while lighting a cigarette.

“From the information gathered, it seems certain they’ve split. Jaemin’s emigration preparations are also real. But I haven’t heard anything about the divorce.”

“With how long they were stuck together, the expiration date must have passed. Whether that thug kills both Choi Jisun and this guy as I say, or this guy grabs my hand to save himself, it’s not a losing deal either way.”

“Yes.”

As Jeonghoon bowed his head, he saw Kwon Sangdo unfastening his belt buckle. Jeonghoon silently turned around, knelt on the floor, and assumed a crawling position. From behind, Kwon Sangdo muttered while taking out his dark organ.

“Omegas change strangely when they’re pregnant… even if they live like flies, they start to value their lives.”

Muffled moans echoed in the closed room.

✽ ✽ ✽

Instead of going straight home, Jaemin checked into a hotel. This was on Seonho’s advice, thinking it would be better than moving with a tired body and extending the travel time.

“Call me if anything happens.”

“If you’re going to be so restless, you might as well share a room.”

When Jaemin gave a dry laugh at Seonho’s serious face, Seonho tightened his lips and asked back.

“Would you rather do that? I can change to a twin room even now…”

Surprised by Seonho’s serious response to what he had said expecting a refusal, Jaemin was the one taken aback.

“…No, it’s fine.”

Jaemin added, awkwardly frowning.

“You know I can’t sleep with someone next to me.”

Except for one person.

The face of the only person he had shared a bed with came to mind again. Seonho, sensing Jaemin’s complicated feelings, gave a bitter smile before nodding calmly.

“Rest. I’ll be in the next room, so contact me if anything happens.”

“Okay.”

“What do you want for dinner?”

“Room service. You too, just eat something.”

After Seonho left, Jaemin flopped onto the soft bed. The meeting with Kwon Sangdo replayed slowly in his mind.

So, Kwon Sangdo’s purpose for meeting Jaemin today was one: to cooperate in cutting off Seol Daeyoung’s head. If not, his own head would be on the chopping block.

“Hu…”

With so little time left before departure, why did this shit have to happen? Or maybe it’s a good thing to resolve everything before moving to America. But how should he solve this? Is it even possible to solve it…?

Jaemin’s brows furrowed, his eyes narrowing as he stared at the ceiling.

Killing Seol Daeyoung as Kwon Sangdo wanted was, firstly, impossible. Jaemin had tried and worked at it, but at best, he could only stab his abdomen, avoiding any vital organs.

He didn’t want to think about why that was the case anymore. Because remembering his first and last love, which ended so shittily, only increased his unwelcome loneliness.

But could I die?

In the past, Jaemin would have laughed in Kwon Sangdo’s face for threatening him, taunting him to try it, even throwing a kitchen knife at him. Since his manifestation, he had never been afraid of death. On the contrary, he had often wished for an accidental death. Earning a bit of Jang Wonjung’s approval by recklessly engaging in thug activities was part of that. But…

Jaemin closed his eyes and took a deep breath. The day when he would become afraid of death was here.

Despite the situation, a dry laugh escaped his lips.

Three months ago, after leaving Daeyoung behind and returning to his old apartment, there was a day when Jaemin secluded himself and thought about not needing to live anymore while looking at the night view. He didn’t even need to define the chronic emotions that had tormented him since childhood as depression.

But why did he want to check one last thing before dying?

With trembling hands, he used up a pregnancy test and ran to a 24-hour pharmacy to confirm his pregnancy again, perhaps because he needed to find a reason to live.

Even knowing that the probability of pregnancy skyrockets when rut and heat overlap, he took no precautions. Maybe it wasn’t out of lack of motivation but because he desperately wanted something.

“Hey, whose daughter are you?”

Jaemin muttered in a slightly subdued voice, his hand on his stomach.

“……My daughter.”

In an empty space, not only talking to himself but also answering his own questions, the bizarre being that made him do this was undoubtedly his child. This meant there was no way he would let his child die at Kwon Sangdo’s hands.

“You’ll be the one to die. And your child will go to the other world without seeing the light of day.”

Kwon Sangdo’s expression when he said those words was vivid in Jaemin’s mind. A man who could say he would kill his own child without even blinking. Jaemin had long since given up any expectations of humanity, but he couldn’t help but feel anger anew.

Even the repulsive Chairman Jang Wonjung had tried to concentrate all power on Daeyoung upon learning he was his biological son.

“Because you were an unwanted child.”

As Kwon Sangdo’s words echoed in Jaemin’s mind again, he swallowed dryly, feeling suffocated. He wanted to smoke but resisted, burrowing into the rustling sheets. But the foul mood that had come upon him wouldn’t go away.

On a cold winter day, the face of Seol Junkyung, who appeared wrapped in a tacky scarf, haunted him. She had said she came to him when his rut started to create a ‘bond’ with Kwon Sangdo because she loved him.

“……Fuck…”

Despite trying not to, Jaemin couldn’t stop his own image from overlapping with Seol Junkyung’s. He had scoffed at Seol Junkyung, who had confessed she hadn’t known she was pregnant until her belly grew, even though she had thrown herself into the fire like jumping into a blaze. Why? Because it was absurd.

Did Seol Junkyung want to get revenge on Kwon Sangdo, who didn’t love her, or did she just want to create the fruit of one-sided love on her own terms? Either way, it was equally shitty. The dirty fate that seemed to mock him for despising and laughing at Seol Junkyung made his stomach ache.

Jaemin suddenly stood up and picked up the room phone. He ordered a lot of room service, trying to convince himself that the discomfort in his stomach was due to pregnancy. As he forced the food down his esophagus, he opened his phone.

Kwon Sangdo. Jang Daeyoung. Choi Jisun.

Entering these search terms one by one, the most eye-catching news was that Choi Jisun had been hit with an egg at an event. A picture of yellow yolk dripping from her beautiful face adorned the news with sensational copy. The culprit caught at the scene was said to be kids from an omega-phobic community.

“……”

Jaemin tossed his phone aside and leaned back against the fluffy pillow. His eyes, with deep double eyelids, showed signs of fatigue. Apart from his child, or rather, because he wanted to protect his child, Jaemin had no desire to get involved with them.

But knowing that highly power-hungry politicians or money-hungry businessmen could not be distinguished from thugs, he couldn’t simply ignore Kwon Sangdo’s words.

So, what should he do now?

The most realistic and safe option at this point… might still be to go to Seol Daeyoung.

Jaemin bit his lip hard.

Go to Daeyoung, tell him what happened with Kwon Sangdo, whisper that the mayor is targeting him, and that he was asked to use his hands in this matter. That he was threatened with death if he refused.

‘So what?’

Jaemin took a short breath, imagining Daeyoung’s emotionless voice echoing in his ears. If Daeyoung asked that, how would he respond?

‘Are you here to tell me to be careful now that we’re apart?’

Could he handle Daeyoung’s gaze that seemed to dissect his inner thoughts like a microscope?

‘Or are you asking for my help because Kwon Sangdo might kill you? Now?’

Daeyoung had already told him that his arms were the safest place in the world, and he was the only one who didn’t know this. How ridiculous would he look to Daeyoung?

“That thug offered to kill Jang Jaemin for me.”

It made no sense. Jaemin considered the possibility that Kwon Sangdo might have lied to provoke him. He seemed like someone who could do that, and his duplicity, which was clear to Jaemin, must have been visible to Seol Daeyoung too.

Did Daeyoung really want to work with such a man? And Kwon Sangdo… had sent people to Japan to try to kill him?

“What the hell are you doing, fuck.”

Jaemin tried to regain his composure while fighting the urge to smack his own head. He was annoyed at himself for trying to force his way back into Daeyoung’s world in this situation.

Even excluding himself, Kwon Sangdo wasn’t someone who met Daeyoung’s standards. Would Daeyoung really try to coexist with someone of lesser caliber than himself? Perhaps it was a smokescreen to help Choi Jisun.

“……”

Feeling extremely frustrated at not being able to confront Daeyoung, Jaemin stood up abruptly. Maybe it was because of the food he had crammed down earlier, but he felt he needed to walk to ease the discomfort.

✽ ✽ ✽

Jaemin bought workout clothes and shoes from the hotel’s underground arcade and headed to the gym. He wanted to lift weights but feared he’d overdo it in his condition, so he opted for the treadmill. Light jogging was recommended by the doctor, so this should be fine.

As he ran at a steady pace, his tangled thoughts gradually calmed. Among Kwon Sangdo’s words, the most sincere seemed to be his intent to kill Seol Daeyoung. He proposed cooperation to Jaemin, adding that if Jaemin didn’t accept, he would be the one to suffer.

Since Kwon Sangdo wouldn’t suddenly have paternal affection after decades, his intentions were clear.

“Haah…”

As sweat beaded on Jaemin’s temples, his eyes grew clearer. Having been cooped up indoors so much, he had clouded his own judgment. The most certain way now was to talk to Daeyoung. Even if he rejected Kwon Sangdo’s proposal, it was clear Kwon Sangdo wouldn’t leave an opponent he found bothersome alone.

Perhaps he had used even more sinister methods than Jang Wonjung to eliminate enemies, which was why he still held power.

Thinking about where his own annoying personality came from, Jaemin’s irritation flared up again. He repeatedly pressed the speed button on the treadmill.

Tap tap tap tap. Jaemin’s feet moved quickly on the belt. Running hard enough to make him breathless, he finally felt his stomach settling.

Yes. He needed to contact Seol Daeyoung and pass on the message. Just one word to be careful with Kwon Sangdo would be enough. There was no need to add his own sordid details that Daeyoung didn’t need to know. Daeyoung wasn’t dull; he’d find his way, and Jaemin had left him for that reason from the start.

“Haah…! Haah…!”

Because there’s no way he wants to create any kind of bond now, not even if he were dead.

“I’m sorry, sir.”

It was then that someone approached him while he was running at top speed. Jaemin glanced at the nametag of the suited employee and slowed down a bit.

“What is it?”

“We have to inspect the equipment. For safety reasons, the gym will be closed for an hour.”

Shouldn’t they have mentioned this at check-in? Jaemin frowned, and the person with the room manager badge looked apologetic.

“The pool is currently open if you’d like to use it…”

“Thank you.”

Jaemin cut him off and stepped off the machine. Swimming was one of the exercises doctors recommended during pregnancy, but he hadn’t been in water for ages. Probably never in Korea.

After living with Chairman Jang, showing his bare skin in front of others felt like going to war without armor. Imagining a heat cycle while wearing just a swimsuit gave him goosebumps, so he hadn’t gone to the beach he used to love.

The memory of the winter sea he saw with Seol Daeyoung came to mind, and regardless of his will, it felt like a cold wind was blowing through his heart. The beach in Japan where he had run to escape from Daeyoung, losing his memory, and then Daeyoung appearing before him, knowing all about his feelings which even he hadn’t fully understood – these images played in his mind like slides, making him feel even more suffocated.

Damn. It looks like he won’t be able to go to the beach for a while.

“……”

While waiting for the elevator to go up from the lobby, Jaemin tried to calm his breathing and organize his thoughts. Since he and Seonho had decided to leave the next day, he should contact Seol Daeyoung while in Seoul. Of course, it could be done over the phone, but there was always the chance Daeyoung might come to see him…

Ding.

As the elevator doors opened with a slight noise, Jaemin, about to step in, couldn’t help but hesitate. The person who had filled his mind was standing right in front of him. Why, how was Seol Daeyoung here?

It wasn’t just Jaemin who was confused by the sudden encounter. Daeyoung, with his furrowed brows, also seemed to be in a bad mood. After giving Jaemin, who was in sweat-drenched T-shirt and shorts, a once-over, Daeyoung spoke briefly.

“Not getting on?”

Caught off guard, Jaemin hurried into the elevator before the doors closed. His heart was pounding even more than when he was running, forcing him to take small, quick breaths.

Daeyoung, whom he hadn’t seen in three months, looked much more composed than when Jaemin had last seen him leaving his house. Standing next to him, who was perfectly groomed, made Jaemin feel ashamed of his own disheveled workout clothes. In a situation where he met his former lover, the fact that he was even worried about his attire seemed comical to him.

“Which floor?”

At Daeyoung’s curt question, Jaemin, who had been dazed, belatedly bit his lip and pulled out his key card. His hand trembled as he passed it over the sensor. Daeyoung’s room was already selected, indicating it was on the floor where the suites were located.

Why would Seol Daeyoung be in a hotel suite? Jaemin quickly dismissed the thoughts spreading in his mind. Whatever the reason, since he had planned to contact him, this was rather fortunate.

The problem was that Daeyoung had appeared in front of him much sooner than anticipated. That bastard… without giving him time to prepare. And in this state.

Jaemin licked his dry lips, blaming Daeyoung for his embarrassment. How should he start the conversation? What should he say first?

Ding!

The elevator, moving at high speed, stopped at Jaemin’s floor. He hoped Daeyoung would speak first, but Daeyoung’s face, reflected in the elevator door, showed no sign of movement.

“Goodbye.”

When Daeyoung spoke as if driving a stake into the ground as the doors opened, Jaemin realized. Daeyoung was feeling annoyed by this absurd coincidence and wanted to get rid of him from his sight as soon as possible.

And what’s with ‘goodbye’?

When they lived together, Daeyoung never said farewells like this to him. “I’ll be back. I’ll be quick. Wait for me, don’t go anywhere.”

The farewell, so clean it felt cruel, made Jaemin feel like he was reliving their breakup.

“…Let’s talk.”

Instead of getting off, Jaemin forced himself to speak.

“Is there any business left between us?”

Daeyoung’s eyes, rejecting him, were devoid of emotion. Although it was Jaemin himself who wanted the breakup, seeing Daeyoung’s cold reaction made the hole in his heart feel even larger. Feeling his heart grow heavy, Jaemin continued.

“I have business.”

As Daeyoung checked the time on his watch, the elevator doors silently closed. He let out a short breath before asking Jaemin.

“Will 30 minutes do?”

“……10 minutes, no… 5 minutes will do.”

To think he was begging for time from him. If his past self knew, he’d be shocked. But remembering that he had caused this situation, the rest of the words came out easily.

“Please.”

Because he didn’t want to live with the guilt of knowing the father of his child was in danger and doing nothing about it.

That was the only reason. Jaemin’s fingers trembled as he quietly adjusted his sweat-dampened hair while following Daeyoung down the corridor.

✽ ✽ ✽

Jaemin followed Daeyoung to his suite without a word. Initially, he hesitated a bit because inviting Daeyoung to his room would bother Seonho, who was on the same floor, and it was impossible to have a leisurely chat over coffee in a public lounge where many eyes would be on them.

Shh.

As the door opened smoothly, Daeyoung crossed the living room. The space, with separate living and sleeping areas, was spacious and luxurious. Jaemin wondered if Daeyoung was living in the hotel after leaving the house they shared, but there was no real sense of habitation in the vast room.

“What do you want to say?”

Daeyoung unbuttoned his suit jacket and sat down on a single-seater sofa.

“……What kind of manners are these, not even offering tea.”

Jaemin tried to lighten the mood with a faint smile, but Daeyoung’s expression didn’t change. He didn’t respond to Jaemin’s words, showing through his silence that he genuinely did not want to be with him. Jaemin, who had been trying to ease the tension with awkward humor, felt his mood sink and swallowed dryly.

“You look good. I mean it.”

“Do I?”

Daeyoung’s eyes, devoid of any disturbance, looked at Jaemin as he added,

“I’d like to say the same to you… but it’s difficult.”

Was he talking about Jaemin’s red, sleep-deprived eyes? Or was it a reference to his emaciated body from repeated bouts of eating and vomiting? Why did they have to meet in such a situation? Jaemin barely suppressed the urge to tear off his sweat-soaked shirt that clung to his upper body.

“I’ve been ill for a few days, so I look a bit ridiculous. I know… but…”

“Jang Jaemin.”

Daeyoung cut off Jaemin’s excuse-like words.

“What’s your business?”

Jaemin had plenty to say, but he hesitated, unsure what to start with. Looking at Daeyoung’s urging, what came out of Jaemin’s mouth was entirely different from what he had rehearsed.

“Did you tell Kwon Sangdo you’d kill me?”

“Yes.”

Daeyoung answered without changing his expression, showing no hesitation. Jaemin, unable to control his dumbfounded look, asked like a fool.

“……Seriously?”

“Was that what you wanted to talk about?”

Daeyoung’s raised eyebrow seemed to say Jaemin was utterly pathetic. Unable to organize his chaotic thoughts, Jaemin even forgot that Daeyoung hadn’t directly answered his question.

“You don’t trust Kwon Sangdo, do you?”

His voice naturally got louder. His heart was beating so hard it felt like it was punching his ribs.

“What’s it to you?”

“Answer properly, you idiot.”

Frustrated, Jaemin snapped, only to receive a chillingly cold response.

“If you came to throw a tantrum, get out.”

Seol Daeyoung was perhaps the only one who could make the fire Jaemin thought he had forgotten about burn in his chest again. Realizing this, Jaemin bit his lip.

The shock of Daeyoung genuinely deciding to kill him came next. If he died, the child in his womb would disappear too. Did he know he’d be killing his own kin? Or did it not matter to Seol Daeyoung anymore?

Jaemin instinctively clutched his stomach due to the fear that enveloped him, then belatedly let go. Instead of grabbing Daeyoung by the collar, he swallowed his saliva and tried to calm his trembling voice as much as possible.

“Kwon Sangdo has no intention of working with you. He’s planning to bury you behind your back.”

“Ah, I see.”

Jaemin had to clench his fists seeing Daeyoung completely ignore his words.

“He’s different from Chairman Jang, or maybe even worse. Look at how he disowned his wife and his own blood, Kwon Yoojin. Can’t you see how vile he is?”

“I can.”

Daeyoung’s response was nonchalant, making Jaemin sigh weakly, feeling his energy drain away.

“He might kill you.”

“Doesn’t matter.”

“…”

Daeyoung looked at Jaemin, who couldn’t continue, and replied slowly.

“No. Isn’t it rather good for you? If I kill someone who wants to kill you.”

There was no emotion in his eyes.

“Is that all?”

Checking the time again, Seol Daeyoung clearly wasn’t listening to Jaemin’s warning. He must believe he could handle whatever Kwon Sangdo did.

Although Jaemin had somewhat anticipated this, Daeyoung’s reaction was even more dismissive than he thought, making his cheeks flush and his stomach churn. Why had he even come here?

“……Yeah.”

Jaemin felt he had done what he could. As he stood up, feeling dizzy enough to vomit, there was a sound.

Click.

Jaemin flinched at the sound of the bedroom door opening and frowned. Was someone there?

“Oh? We have a guest.”

A woman in a white bathrobe with a matching towel wrapped around her head, her face without makeup, was unmistakable. It was Choi Jisun, who had appeared on TV alongside Seol Daeyoung many times, smiling broadly as she approached Jaemin.

“Jang Jaemin? I wanted to see you in person, and here we are. Nice to meet you.”

Seeing the reason Daeyoung was in the hotel suite before his eyes, Jaemin’s hand turned cold and trembled slightly.

“Are you okay? You don’t look well.”

That’s why Jaemin couldn’t take Choi Jisun’s outstretched hand. He didn’t feel like pretending to be okay.

“No, I was just about to leave. I didn’t know you had company…”

Seeing Daeyoung, who had stood up at some point, handing Choi Jisun a cold bottle of water, Jaemin’s voice trailed off.

“How’s your health?”

“Yeah, don’t worry. Thanks.”

In the end, the fire that had been simmering in Jaemin’s stomach turned into nausea, rising through his esophagus.

“Huh…!”

Unable to suppress the nausea, Jaemin covered his mouth, and it was Choi Jisun, not Daeyoung, who kindly led him to the bathroom. The sweet smell of shampoo and the matching scent of shower gel from Choi Jisun made Jaemin’s skin prickle from his forearms to his neck.

“Need some help…”

Jaemin rejected her help with a gesture and barely managed to close the bathroom door. Kneeling on the floor and clutching the toilet, he vomited everything he had eaten in the room, his eyes bloodshot.

“Ugh…!”

Fuck. Every time he remembered what a mess this was, the nausea intensified. After emptying his stomach to the point of exhaustion, Jaemin stood up shakily, his face drained. There was no need to check to know his reflection in the mirror was a mess.

He turned on the tap to cool down his heated eyes, nose, and mouth. Even with the prescribed anti-nausea medication, it was ineffective, so he couldn’t blame anyone. If he had to blame someone, perhaps it was his own fault for getting so worked up upon seeing Seol Daeyoung and following him here. What good sight was he expecting to see?

Click.

As Jaemin stepped out from the bathroom, Choi Jisun handed him a bottle of water. It was the same bottle of water Daeyoung had given her earlier. Jaemin wanted to smash the innocent bottle of Alpine water on the floor, but his throat was so dry he couldn’t bear it.

“Excuse me for the inconvenience.”

After finishing the bottle of water, he crumpled it and placed it on the table with a thud. Contrary to his desire to disappear from this space as soon as possible, Choi Jisun was quite talkative.

“Just out of curiosity, Mr. Jang Jaemin… are you pregnant?”

Jaemin managed to hide his surprise by glaring at her. He gave a weak, mocking, “What?” but Choi Jisun continued with a faint smile.

“There are things only someone who’s been through it can tell.”

“No, I’m not.”

“Really?”

Choi Jisun still looked suspicious but didn’t press further. Jaemin quickly bowed to her and turned around.

“Is the boss leaving too?”

“It won’t take long.”

Realizing that Daeyoung was following him out, Jaemin felt his stomach churn in a different way than before. As the door closed, silence enveloped the corridor. Jaemin, walking on the carpet that absorbed even the sound of footsteps, finally broke the silence.

“If you’re worried about what she said, you don’t need to be. It’s just stress-induced gastritis that sometimes turns my stomach…”

He said this, certain that Daeyoung had followed him out because of that reason. But Daeyoung’s response was beyond indifference; it was cold.

“I’m not worried. Not at all.”

“…”

Jaemin stopped walking without realizing it and looked at Daeyoung’s face.

“You would have taken precautions after that shitty incident.”

From the way his thick eyebrows slightly furrowed, it was clear how ‘shitty’ Daeyoung thought that incident was. Jaemin rubbed his sweaty palms on his pants while glaring at the elevator. Neither of the two elevators that had stopped at the lobby showed any sign of coming up.

“Even if, by some chance, such a thing happened, I would obviously get rid of it.”

Daeyoung’s statement, without specifying the subject, was undoubtedly directed at Jaemin. But to Jaemin, who was already carrying life, it sounded like Daeyoung would terminate the pregnancy if he found out.

“……Yeah, I was worried for nothing… fuck…”

He wanted to say it nonchalantly, but his voice trembled against his will. Jaemin clenched his thigh, biting his lip in pain. His rational mind told him to shut up, but he couldn’t understand why he kept babbling on.

Normally, he would have easily suppressed his emotions and even laughed at such a situation, but now he was being swayed by every word Daeyoung said like a reed in the wind. Was it because he was pregnant? He couldn’t think of any other reason for such fluctuating emotions.

As if sensing his desperate wish for the elevator to arrive, the doors opened with a clear sound.

“I’m leaving.”

“Oh, and.”

Just as Jaemin was frantically pressing the close button after getting into the elevator, Daeyoung held the door. Jaemin looked at him with a face drained of color. Was he going to clarify what he said earlier? Even though his mind knew Daeyoung wouldn’t do that, the dissonance between that knowledge and his desperate hope made Jaemin want to scream.

“What, speak.”

Daeyoung asked him when he finally managed to speak.

“Why haven’t you submitted the divorce papers? Are you stalling for time?”

“……Stalling for time, what does that mean…”

He had signed the documents the day he received them and handed them over to Seonho. Jaemin’s lips trembled, but the mystery was solved in seconds. Seonho hadn’t proceeded with the paperwork for some reason.

“If there’s something you’re not satisfied with, communicate through your lawyer.”

That was why Daeyoung had come out. Jaemin just nodded, avoiding his gaze.

“Understood.”

His voice was choked, but there was nothing he could do about it. As the doors closed, with Daeyoung frowning at him, he drove the final nail in.

“Handle it as quickly as possible.”

The moment the door closed and Daeyoung’s face disappeared, Jaemin collapsed on the spot. What came out from his lips, which he had tried to keep closed, was not a shout of anger but a stifled sob.

✽ ✽ ✽

“Really, can you just let him go like that?”

Choi Jisun, who had changed her clothes by now, clicked her electronic cigarette and asked as Daeyoung entered the room.

“How’s your condition?”

Instead of answering her question, Daeyoung changed the subject, causing Choi Jisun to wrinkle her nose.

“I poured half a bottle of shampoo on my head, so the smell of the egg has mostly gone.”

“Luckily, the photos came out well.”

Looking at the article photos on the tablet PC Daeyoung handed her, Choi Jisun gathered her still-damp hair to one side. Perhaps due to thorough preparation, her expression while getting hit with eggs showed only surprise and shock, without any distortion or anger.

“Mr. Jang is really good at playing dirty.”

“This doesn’t even qualify as dirty.”

When the mastermind of the provocation answered nonchalantly, Choi Jisun smiled with her brows furrowed.

“It’s not nice to say that in front of someone who’s gone through a lot.”

“If it had been a gun or nitric acid attack, I would have comforted you.”

Was he joking by saying that with a smirk? As she sighed in exasperation, Daeyoung gave her a short nod.

“Rest. I’ll be going.”

“Is your business done? I was excited when I came here as you instructed, expecting something.”

It was Daeyoung who had called her after she had been cursing in the car following the egg attack, specifying this hotel. When she came out of the shower, there was a heated conversation between Daeyoung and his partner in the living room.

Daeyoung raised an eyebrow and scoffed at her playful tone.

“Is it fun to say things you don’t mean?”

“I was excited thinking I might see you rekindle with your ex.”

“…”

“I even went out without changing my clothes to give you a chance.”

As Daeyoung reached for a cigarette in his jacket but withdrew his hand, Choi Jisun’s voice grew more intrigued.

“You quit smoking, didn’t you? Want to smoke one of mine?”

“No, thank you.”

Seeing him quit smoking even during his separation from his pregnant partner, it was clear he was not just any crazy person. Though, it was thanks to his craziness that she could pull him to her side.

Years ago, when she first met him after he was released from prison, her evaluation of him was low. Until he proved his capabilities with his arrogant claim that he ‘chose’ her because she was an omega. The eyes of the man who said he was doing it for his hidden partner somewhere seemed a bit mad, but one thing was certain: he would do anything for his partner.

“Did you find out something useful, like that Jang Jaemin is pregnant?”

Seeing Jang Jaemin’s face completely drained of color as he rushed to the bathroom, she had a hunch. As she expected, it seemed he was indeed pregnant.

“Congressman.”

Daeyoung looked at her intently before continuing.

“Let’s stop here.”

His calm, undisturbed eyes indicated he already knew this fact. Even if they were separated, maintaining such a cold attitude towards someone carrying his child made Choi Jisun click her tongue inwardly.

“Self-cultivation leads to a peaceful nation, don’t you know?”

“National affairs are for you to handle, Congressman, and I’ll take care of my family matters.”

Choi Jisun exhaled with an unpleasant expression. Even after receiving the report that the boss had arrived at the hotel, he hadn’t come up because he was busy giving strange orders to the room manager.

The reason for closing the perfectly functional gym became clear when Jang Jaemin appeared, his sweat-soaked T-shirt clinging to his chest, revealing his nipples. He indeed exuded a seductive aura that one wouldn’t want to let roam outside. The more poignant image compared to photographs was likely due to the current strain of a single, pregnant omega.

“I just want to make one thing clear.”

“Please speak.”

Choi Jisun had no interest in meddling in Daeyoung’s personal life. Her only concern was that Daeyoung might mess up his work due to his conflict with Jang Jaemin.

“Even knowing he’s Kwon Sangdo’s son, I can still call him Mr. Jang Jaemin because I trust you.”

“So what?”

Realizing she was more excited than she thought, Choi Jisun lowered her voice. At this moment, she absolutely needed Daeyoung’s strength.

“When are you going to deal with Kwon Sangdo?”

After calming her voice, she asked him. Daeyoung’s gaze no longer focused on her. His eyes, looking at the empty chair where Jang Jaemin sat, turned languid.

“Hmm… Well, I’m not in a hurry.”

“…Mr. Jang.”

As she chewed her lip in agitation, Daeyoung finally murmured like talking to himself.

“After he’s served his purpose?”

His throat made a gurgling sound as he chuckled. Choi Jisun thought his demeanor was like that of a pervert who wouldn’t even touch cutlery while waiting for the main course at a well-set table.

Seeing Daeyoung, who hadn’t reacted to her omega pheromones, now standing firm after facing Jang Jaemin, she felt an absurd hunger.

“Want to eat? I’m hungry.”

“No, I’m fine.”

Daeyoung, who seemed to have enjoyed a brief moment of contemplation, stood up, shaking his jacket.

As she watched him walk towards the door, Jisun gave a bitter smile. Seeing him grab the water bottle Jang Jaemin had touched, she thought that Jang Jaemin would have a lot of emotional hardship ahead, given how much Daeyoung was restraining himself.

After returning to his room, Jaemin checked his phone belatedly. There was an audio file from an unknown number. With a hunch that this wasn’t just a simple spam message, he played the file, and the low voice that had just played with his heart echoed in his ears.

“Shall I kill Jang Jaemin for you?”

It felt like mocking him for warning Daeyoung about the danger he might be in. Perhaps this was the emotion Kwon Sangdo wanted to evoke by sending this recording – a mix of self-loathing, shame, anger, and betrayal, creating a murky, dirty feeling. Jaemin let out a long, hot breath, laughing dryly.

“Ha…”

Listening to Daeyoung’s voice again with trembling hands, he could detect no emotion. Jaemin couldn’t be sure what Daeyoung truly felt when he approached Kwon Sangdo while with Choi Jisun. But believing that Daeyoung had actually mentioned his name was hard to accept.

“What are you thinking about when it’s already over?”

Even though he spoke aloud, clutching his teeth, the sorrowful, or rather, dirty feeling inside him wouldn’t shake off easily. Jaemin realized for sure after facing Daeyoung today.

Seol Daeyoung had no feelings left for him.

If there had been hatred or anger, he wouldn’t have felt this miserable. But Daeyoung’s eyes, looking at him like a river flowing without a ripple, froze Jaemin. It made him realize that no matter how many stones he threw, it was him who would sink without a trace.

Because of this, Daeyoung could use him as a tool, or bait. Maybe… he might even think it’s okay to kill him.

As Daeyoung himself had said, he wasn’t a saint but a human, and more precisely, an alpha with an instinct in his blood to destroy what he couldn’t have.

“You would have taken precautions after that shitty incident.”

The emotion that faintly flickered in Daeyoung’s eyes when he said that to Jaemin… was disgust.

“Even if, by some chance, such a thing happened, I would obviously get rid of it.”

It became clear that Daeyoung should never find out that a child resulted from that disgusting act. The moment he imagined Daeyoung dragging him to a hospital like a dog, he felt a sensation like a water droplet bursting inside him.

“……What’s this?”

What the fuck is this…? Jaemin stood frozen, bringing his trembling hand to his abdomen. He had been relieved thinking he was 16 weeks along, but could something have gone wrong? If the baby was affected again by extreme stress, he would never forgive himself.

He wanted to go to the hospital right away, but he didn’t want to move rashly here. Jaemin gnawed at his lip and pulled out his phone to search his symptoms. He stared intently at the search results and then dropped his phone.

“Ha ha…”

Fetal movement…? This is… fetal movement.

The sensation described as bubbles popping or a loach slithering inside was listed under the title ‘early fetal movement’ and discussed among many pregnant women. It was explained that sensitive individuals might feel it sooner.

It was a surprising and confusing situation, like the first alien signal sent by an astronaut. On the very day he met Seol Daeyoung after months, on the day he confirmed the woman by his side.

“Stop it, Jang Jaemin.”

Jaemin closed his eyes tightly again and spoke softly. However, he couldn’t stop emotions he didn’t want to dredge up from spreading like smoke.

“How’s your health?”

Didn’t he know that Daeyoung’s eyes, which always looked at him, could look at someone else? Honestly, he hadn’t thought that far. Jaemin was experiencing how pathetic a human could become when their arrogance shattered.

“Jang Jaemin? I wanted to see you in person, and here we are. Nice to meet you.”

The image of Choi Jisun extending her hand to him came to mind. She was beautiful and confident. The intimacy between her and Daeyoung, sharing a room and shower, was undoubtedly more than what was visible. Sexual issues due to marking were a given, but advances in modern medicine would solve that soon enough.

If he wanted to speed things up, there were quicker ways too.

“Shall I kill Jang Jaemin for you?”

If he hadn’t been pregnant and heard this, if he had witnessed Daeyoung looking at someone else, what choice would he have made? The answer came easily without much thought.

Jaemin would have willingly died for Daeyoung.

“Wow…”

He sighed involuntarily at the clear progression in his mind, devoid of any hesitation.

“I fucking love your father.”

Jaemin grimaced with a heated face and gave a dry laugh. Seeing Daeyoung paired with Choi Jisun, what flared up in his heart was… jealousy, too hard to admit out loud. If Choi Jisun ever made it to the top of power, Daeyoung would make sure she never fell, and if he decided so, that resolve would remain until his death. Meanwhile, he would have to live his life watching them from a place he could never reach.

Now he could no longer deny it. He loved Seol Daeyoung. Even after their breakup, even though Daeyoung had erased him from his life, this feeling persisted.

This is truly what it means to be the ‘lesser’ one.

The melodramatic situation that was hard to believe or understand had befallen him perhaps as a consequence of his life spent mocking others.

Knock. Knock.

At the light knock, Jaemin looked up. Even knowing it was Seonho, he found it funny that he was still tense while opening the door. The situation of reflecting on himself was even more out of place.

“Oh, Hyung.”

“You weren’t answering your phone.”

“Was I?”

Jaemin responded weakly, and Seonho furrowed his brows looking at him.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah. Come in for a bit. I have something to say.”

Seonho entered, watching Jaemin closely as he sat down. Jaemin looked at him quietly before asking.

“Why haven’t you submitted my divorce papers yet?”

“Ah…”

Seonho’s face showed confusion.

“Tell me. I won’t get mad.”

Everything Seonho had done was for his sake. That’s why Jaemin wanted to know his intentions.

“I, Jaemin…”

“Yeah.”

“I want you to be happy.”

A fact Jaemin knew better than anyone.

“I see, I didn’t know.”

Jaemin gave a weak laugh, but Seonho’s expression was serious.

“I… think you haven’t forgotten the boss yet.”

The expression disappeared from Jaemin’s face. When he didn’t respond, Seonho swallowed dryly before continuing.

“You love him, I think.”

“…So you held back the divorce papers? Thinking I might reconcile with Seol Daeyoung?”

“That was the only thing I could do.”

“Hyung, are you an idiot?”

Seeing Seonho’s nose turn red, Jaemin continued without hiding his frustration.

“Are you kind or just foolish? Which one is it?”

“Jaemin…”

He couldn’t not know the feelings Seonho had for him. Yet, the logic that he hoped for Jaemin and Daeyoung to reconcile seemed utterly foolish to him, making him lower his gaze with a dry laugh.

“Hyung, want to try kissing me?”

“What, what does that mean…”

“I’m telling you to do it, damn it.”

Seeing Seonho pull back as if threatened, Jaemin couldn’t help but laugh even more. He stretched his lips into a long smile, then closed his eyes. Seonho approached him after what felt like an eternity.

His approach was gentle, like his personality. Jaemin took a slow breath while receiving Seonho’s trembling kiss, then slowly pulled away.

“How was it?”

“Ah… that… well…”

Seonho couldn’t answer, just blushing with embarrassment when Jaemin asked for his impression right after the kiss. It was as expected.

“I felt nothing.”

Seonho’s face, which had been confused, hardened a bit. Continuing to speak while looking at that face felt like committing a sin, but letting it go seemed like an even greater sin. Damn, had he become some kind of Saint Mary?

“Seol Daeyoung is the same with me.”

“What does that mean, Jaemin?”

“Like how I feel nothing for you, no matter what feelings you have for me.”

“…”

“Daeyoung feels the same.”

He tried to explain as calmly as possible, but his voice trembled. Jaemin rubbed his sunken eyes, feeling extreme fatigue.

“Before we leave tomorrow, go see the lawyer and handle it.”

“Okay, I understand. I’m sorry.”

As Seonho stood up with an expression mixed with regret and heaviness for doing something unnecessary, Jaemin added.

“And if you have Kwon Yoojin’s phone number, give it to me.”

Concern mixed with curiosity appeared on Seonho’s face as he looked at him.

“Why?”

“She seems like the only one who might understand the situation now.”

“What are you going to say when you call?”

Of course, Jaemin had no intention of reconnecting with his half-sibling now.

“I have to say I want what she wants. Kwon Yoojin has cut ties with her father.”

Seonho’s act of hiding the divorce papers was frustrating, but through him, Jaemin realized something for sure. Jang Jaemin didn’t want Seol Daeyoung to be unhappy, no matter how much Daeyoung despised him.