Lie Again! Chapter 35

<Chapter 35. To Hide, to Hide, to Hide (1)> 

 

Tap, tap—her footsteps echoed down the hallway, oddly lacking in energy. Though the weather was still warm, the shortened daylight cast long streaks of crimson sunlight across the corridor, as if quietly announcing the approach of winter. 

 

She had finally made it through the seventh and last period and was now, at last, alone. 

 

Jin finally let go of the tension in her facial muscles that she had strained all day. With no attempt to hide her emotions anymore, her face openly reflected a sorrow that dripped off her like falling rain. 

 

Whether her effort to hide it had worked or not, none of the kids except Ruth seemed to notice Jin’s sinking mood. But she couldn’t fool herself, and throughout the entire day at school, she only sank deeper beneath the surface. 

 

The sea that had swallowed Jin was made up of negative emotions—anger, anxiety, helplessness, inferiority, and exhaustion—and the more she tried to escape, the more suffocating it became. 

 

She longed desperately for the bed tucked in the corner of the attic in their three-story house. She just wanted to crawl under the covers and watch the drama she’d been putting off, mindlessly, without thinking about anything at all. 

 

Then Jin remembered that the reason she’d fallen behind on her drama was the rejected world history assignment, and her shoulders slumped heavily. 

 

She truly didn’t want to stay at school for even one more second. But despite how she felt, her feet were already carrying her briskly toward the old music room. 

 

She planned to leave the note on top of the piano. After all, it was a promise between them. If something came up and they couldn’t make it, they would leave a note on the piano. 

 

She still vividly remembered Evan’s face from that day when she had gone home early with the kids in Ruth’s car because of prior plans—how he had greeted her the next day with a crooked smile. 

 

With a tone that showed no attempt to hide his anger, he sarcastically mocked the fact that Jin had gone home in Ruth’s car. 

 

You’re here today. I thought you were going to Evan Ruth’s place again today. 

 

Although she had made a mistake, Jin had something to say in her defense. Normally, Evan was never alone, so keeping their promise to avoid acknowledging each other meant there was no way for her to approach him. 

 

Leaving a note in Evan Butterfield’s cabinet? The moment she touched that cabinet, rumors would spread throughout the school that “Jin confessed to Butterfield by leaving a letter.” 

 

Moreover, when it came to this issue, Evan Butterfield wasn’t entirely innocent either. Feeling deeply wronged, Jin protested, “Didn’t you do the same last time?” In response, Evan silently took a pen and placed it in front of her. 

 

‘You know how to write. If you think you can’t make it, at least leave a note. I would do the same.’

 

As Evan said that, his face showed irritation, coldness, and a hint of impatience, which made Jin quietly nod. It was also the reason she was heading toward the music room instead of leaving through the school gates. 

 

Usually, Evan would arrive at the music room later than Jin, so if she moved quickly, she could leave the school before they crossed paths.

 

“….”

 

“….”

 

But when she opened the door, she saw a boy sitting at the piano under the deep sunlight. The unexpected sight made Jin blink in surprise. 

 

In the brief moment of silence between them, Evan, who had been studying Jin’s gloomy face, was the first to speak. His tone was somewhat playful, relaxed, and light. 

 

“You look like you’re in a bad mood, Jin.” 

 

It was a light, careless comment, thrown without a second thought, from someone who knew nothing about Jin’s day. 

 

And yet, for some reason, that one simple sentence stirred the sea that had swallowed Jin. She couldn’t explain why the faint ripples on the surface were pushing her emotions so strongly. 

 

“I hate Mr. Wayne so much.”

 

Jin said as if she was whispering.

 

* * * 

 

The rambling confession wasn’t very long. Though her voice trembled slightly at the end, Jin managed to maintain a calm tone throughout. 

 

And this was the answer that Evan took out for a while after hearing all the stories. 

 

“Let’s go home.” 

 

Jin was momentarily speechless, staring at Evan after his straightforward response, without any elaboration or embellishment. Then, as Evan began to gather his things and open the door, Jin too hastily grabbed her bag and followed him out into the hallway. 

 

Is this the end? Really? 

 

Jin let out a sigh, barely managing to erase the question marks that kept popping up in her head, unable to believe what was happening. 

 

What did I expect from him in the first place? When have we ever been that close? This is only natural. Suppressing her disappointment, Jin gathered her thoughts. 

 

She felt her cheeks flush, realizing that she had mistakenly thought they were close just because they studied together in secret. The other person didn’t think that way at all, and here she was, pretending to be close and spilling everything with a shaky voice. 

 

And so, this was how she marked the peak of a day that had been as colorful as it was tough.

 

A bit more desperately than before, Jin longed for the attic, the bed, and the drama. She had a feeling that tonight, she wouldn’t be able to fall asleep easily, tossing and turning under the blankets. With that thought, she offered her goodbye. 

 

“Yeah, then… bye.”

 

Wanting to disappear quickly, she turned and tried to walk away, but a bewildering voice came from behind.

 

“What are you doing?” 

 

Jin, briefly hesitating under Evan’s bewildered gaze, blankly asked back. 

 

“…Why?”

 

“When I tell you to go home, I mean I’m going to take you there.” 

 

Evan let out a long sigh and rubbed his forehead as he spoke. The road to winning over this clueless girl and getting her to confess was still long.

 

* * *

 

The car carrying the two of them passed through the downtown area near the school. On the sunlit afternoon road, a few cars rolled by here and there, and from the randomly tuned-in radio, disco funk was playing. 

 

I’m in love and I really don’t want to do it.

 

‘Cause I know that love isn’t true.

 

You’re a baby, a coward, a liar.

 

Try to hide love, to hide, to hide.

 

The song on the classic car made a strange feeling that seemed to be running in another era. 

 

The realistic sense that rarely left Jin felt like it was drifting away with the breeze, and she didn’t mind it at all. Amid the simple and upbeat rhythm’s repetition, her tangled thoughts seemed to gradually untangle.

 

While the Mustang steadily moved forward, the two of them remained silent. Whether it was out of consideration for Jin or simply because there was nothing to say, Evan didn’t speak, and Jin didn’t bother to either. But the silence wasn’t uncomfortable.

 

The sound of the wind rushing in and tousling their hair, along with the voices of unknown Black singers layered over the flashy rhythm, filled the silence between them.

 

While the car was stopped at a red light, Jin stole a glance at the driver’s seat. Under the sunlight streaming through the barely tinted windows, Evan, wearing sunglasses, had one arm resting on the window as he stared at the traffic signal.

 

A large hand, lightly gripping the thin steering wheel with its distinct wood grain, tapped the wheel with its index finger in rhythm. 

 

Outside of school. Evan Butterfield wearing sunglasses, driving. Lee Jin sitting in the passenger seat.

 

It was a series of unfamiliar combinations. Jin briefly looked at the man before turning her gaze back out the window. 

 

It seemed like today was going to be a day full of nothing but unfamiliar things. 

 

The teacher’s hostility that was experienced for the first time, the car experienced for the first time, the sight of Butterfield experienced for the first time, and the first time… 

 

Jin didn’t like the first time. The person she wanted to become was someone calm and skilled, not someone who fumbles and messes things up. And firsts always made her feel like an inexperienced person. 

 

She was tired of the regrets of thinking, “I should’ve done this,” or “I should’ve done that,” tossing and turning in bed until the early hours. Minchae had told her that all of this would make her a better person, but in the end, what stuck in her memory wasn’t “the better version of me” but “the mess of the first version of me.” 

 

What if others remember me that way? Incompetent, clumsy, and frustrating, as I am. That’s why Jin was afraid of the first time.

 

Jin recalled an event from the past. Her cousin, who had come to visit after confirming her university acceptance. Her face was lit up with a bright smile, filled with the relief and ease of having finished high school. 

 

‘I wish I were like my older cousin.’

 

Twelve-year-old Jin had wished that all those experiences could be hers. Since she had already gone through it once, the second time would surely be easier. 

 

‘What? Haha. It seems like Jin likes you too.’

 

Her mom and older sister took the little one’s words as a joke and laughed, thinking it was cute. 

 

However, Jin remembered that at the time, she had been serious. Around that time, she had thought that if she could, she would want to keep all of her grandmother’s memories and her mother’s memories as well.

 

For Jin, firsts had always been like that. More fear than excitement, the fear of making mistakes, something unpredictable, the unknown. 

 

Still somehow.

 

‘This kind of first isn’t so bad.’

 

The palm trees scattered along the Florida roads quickly passed by beyond the car window.

 

The foreign landscape, now a bit more familiar. The air brushing against her cheek felt cool.