Simmering Heat Chapter 23.2

The flowers that had once bloomed like embroidery on the branches had long since shed their petals in the gentle breeze. The trees lining the campus grounds, as if preparing for the coming summer, unfurled their lush green leaves, providing shade. The sun was still mild, making it a pleasant day for a walk. With some time to spare before his next class, Lee Taeun was giving Jinhyun a tour of the campus.

“This was newly built. It used to just be a grassy field, but they made this after I came back from my leave of absence. Pretty, isn’t it?”

Taeun led him to a small garden next to the humanities building and stopped. It was a beautifully landscaped area with a small pond, too small to be called a lake, surrounded by rocks.

The guide, who had run ahead, boasted that this was all built with his tuition money and told Jinhyun to take a good look. Jinhyun obediently followed, his mind still reeling from the Plato incident, barely registering the scenery. Taeun had brought him here for a reason, though, so he couldn’t just stay lost in thought. He looked around, trying to find something to comment on.

—————————————————————————————————
Youth is short, the night is long, K University Festival
5.25(Wed) —27(Fri) 30th Student Council
—————————————————————————————————

His gaze landed on a promotional banner hanging in the distance. It was an unexpected find. Intrigued by this opportune topic of conversation, Jinhyun approached Taeun, who was sitting on a log bench. He saw the back of Taeun’s head, a swirl of thick black hair, and his slender neck.

He wanted to touch it. The urge was relentless.

Just a light caress of his neck was a common enough gesture, it should be fine. With that justification, he cautiously reached out, but just as his fingers brushed against Taeun’s skin, Taeun tilted his head back, their eyes meeting. Jinhyun quickly withdrew his hand and spoke.

“What are you doing during the festival?”

Caught off guard, his heart raced as if he’d been caught stealing. Are you really in middle school? Jinhyun mocked himself. It was ridiculous.

“Festival?”

“That.”

His fingers, yearning for the soft skin, now pointed at the crudely designed banner. Taeun followed his finger and, having spotted the banner, muttered, “Oh, that.”

“I’m not part of the student council… I don’t think I’ll be doing anything.”

“Really?”

“And I have a part-time job that day.”

Wednesday, Thursday, Friday. Unfortunately, they were all Taeun’s workdays. A college festival truly began after sunset, but Taeun wouldn’t have time to experience it. He’d been deliberately trying to ignore it. Imagining everyone gathered and having fun without him was too painful.

“I might go help out during the day, though.”

“With what?”

“The academic society. There aren’t many guys in our department, so I sometimes get called in to help move things.”

“I see.”

Jinhyun sat down next to Taeun, a short interjection replacing a proper response. He was sure Taeun would be disappointed to just watch the festivities from afar. Working all three days… Jinhyun glanced at the large banner again, memorizing the dates: 25, 26, 27.

A soft hum reached his ears. Taeun was tapping his foot and humming, looking utterly adorable. Jinhyun crossed his legs and arms, leaning slightly towards Taeun and gazing at his profile.

Dangling shoelaces, the distant sound of a ball being kicked, the small fountain spraying water in the middle of the pond, and the warm sunlight. A peaceful, leisurely afternoon.

“You know,”

Now was the time to bring it up.

“Why did you suddenly look that up?”

“Huh?”

“That…”

Jinhyun forced his reluctant lips to move, hoping not to ruin their rare moment of peace.

“…Plato or plankton or whatever.”

“Oh.”

Taeun’s feet, which had been playfully kicking the air, gradually stilled. He scratched the area below his ear, then glanced around. He was clearly checking for onlookers, cautious about the topic.

“I thought it would be okay to… you know… not have sex… and still date.”

After a long pause, Taeun finally responded, the explicit word awkwardly drawn out as if he was uncomfortable saying it aloud on campus in broad daylight. Jinhyun’s face darkened. He’d been imagining having sex with Taeun just that morning.

“I heard there are relationships like that.”

“…….”

“It’s not like… that important, right?”

‘It is important.’

…But he couldn’t bring himself to say it. He felt powerless in the face of the disaster he’d created.

He knew why Taeun was avoiding physical contact, what he was afraid of. It was his fault. He’d thought he could carefully approach Taeun, break down his walls, and persuade him, but…

It seemed he’d been too optimistic. He hadn’t anticipated that Taeun’s thoughts would take such an extreme turn. If he wasn’t careful, he’d end up involuntarily celibate. Jinhyun collected his thoughts and formulated a suitable response. They were ostensibly having a casual conversation about “platonic love.”

“…Of course, I think spiritual love is important,”

He licked his dry lips and continued,

“And I agree that it should be prioritized in a loving relationship, but…”

“…….”

“Sex is also a way of expressing love, so why neglect it?”

“…….”

“I understand that love can be explained in terms of mind and body. But unless you have absolutely no desire for it, I don’t think it has to be an either/or situation…”

Yin and yang, heaven and earth, soul and body swirled chaotically in his mind. The plausible but nonsensical argument that true love was achieved through the harmony of body and mind, just as light and darkness harmonized to create the world, almost slipped out, but he managed to hold it back. This was more of a sex education lesson than a philosophy lecture.

“Having sex doesn’t mean it’s not love, it can actually strengthen the relationship.”

“I heard a lot of people break up after having sex.”

He’d really done his research. Jinhyun had no idea what Taeun had been reading or how much he’d absorbed.

“That’s their problem, don’t you think it’s pointless to worry about fitting into some statistic?”

“It’s not about fitting in… it’s about preemptively eliminating the possibility since there are such cases.”

He was baffled by Taeun bringing up other people’s relationships, but Taeun countered with a surprisingly sound argument. It was proving incredibly difficult to break down his defenses. Taeun seemed resolute, unwilling to be persuaded.

This meandering conversation, invoking philosophers, espousing derived ideologies, and citing anecdotes of strangers, ultimately boiled down to “us.” Jinhyun chewed his lip for a moment, then made up his mind. He was tired of skirting around the issue.

“Lee Tae… I mean, Taeun.”

“…Yeah.”

“I think we’ve beat around the bush enough, so I’ll just ask.”

Jinhyun sighed.

“…Do you not want to sleep with me?”

Taeun couldn’t believe his ears. The blunt question made his mind go blank. He processed the question.

“…….”

Do you not want to sleep with me?

The sentence, missing its object, was short and simple. Only a fool wouldn’t understand the implied object. The unspecified subject of their conversation about Plato suddenly took form. It was him, and the guy sitting next to him. The abrupt question had hit the nail on the head.

Embarrassment washed over Taeun. Despite understanding the question perfectly, he feigned ignorance.

“Suddenly… why are you bringing yourself into this?”

“We’re talking about us, I don’t think we need to be indirect.”

“…….”

But Jinhyun wouldn’t let him off the hook. His gentle voice was firm. Taeun glanced at his wrist. It wasn’t time for his class yet, so he couldn’t use that as an excuse to escape.

“Let’s just be honest with each other.”

“…About what?”

“What you’re thinking, what’s bothering you, how much it’s weighing on your mind, everything. I’ll tell you too.”

The man demanding communication appeared calm, his anxiety only visible upon closer inspection. Taeun, lacking the perceptiveness to notice this, felt a surge of frustration.

What am I supposed to say? It’s your fault. Instead of snapping at him, he pressed his lips together.

It wasn’t that he didn’t want to. There had been times when he’d wanted to hold Jinhyun close. Times when the desire to embrace him had been so overwhelming that there was no room for any other thought. Even after everything that had happened, that foolish desire, though diminished, hadn’t disappeared. It grew stronger every time he witnessed Jinhyun’s affection.

Like when his indifferent expression softened the moment he saw Taeun. When he checked Taeun’s mundane messages. When he brushed Taeun’s hand while walking side-by-side, briefly grasping his wrist before letting go. When he fidgeted nervously, trying to sit next to Taeun. It was the unmistakable behavior of someone in love. He knew, because he’d experienced the same feeling.

These small gestures fueled Taeun’s affection, slowly chipping away at his distrust, allowing him to entertain hopes and indulge in shy fantasies. And that was it. The moment those fantasies became concrete, his desire dissipated like smoke.

Taeun was content with the present. If he could remain in this state, where Jinhyun liked him, he could suppress his desires. Patience was second nature to him, requiring no effort.

So, there was only one thing he could say. After chewing his lip for a while, he gathered his thoughts and spoke.

“I don’t want to do it with you.”

“…….”

The moment he said it, Taeun felt a pang of regret. Oh, did I phrase that wrong? He realized too late that it sounded harsher than he’d intended.

The blunt reply, devoid of any explanation, sounded cold even to his own ears. He glanced sideways, wondering if he should add something. Jinhyun wasn’t the type to be easily hurt, but…

“I-I mean, that’s not what I meant.”

And Taeun had to add something. Because the face staring back at him was like nothing he’d ever seen.

He’d known Jinhyun since they were kids, but he’d never seen such a strange expression. He supposed his words had been rather harsh. Did I hurt him? Taeun scrambled to retract his words, mentally deconstructing and reassembling them.

“I mean… I think it’s better if we don’t.”

“…….”

Then, Jinhyun’s expression changed.

A deep despair, like a condemned prisoner reminiscing moments before his execution, spread across his face. Even Taeun, oblivious as he was to such nuances, couldn’t ignore it.

“Dude, your face is weird…”

“…Shocked… I mean, a little… hurt…”

Jinhyun stammered, unable to form a coherent sentence. He ran a hand over his face, his head dropping as if severed.

“…Why do you think that?”

“Well…”

“Because you think I’ll act like that again?”

His voice was muffled, his head still bowed as if ashamed to even ask. He slowly turned to look at Taeun. Taeun, looking down at the dejected man, answered honestly.

“I don’t think you’ll act like that again.”

He didn’t think Jinhyun would hurt him again with harsh words. He probably just quietly pull up his pants and say, I’m sorry, my friend. This isn’t going to work…

“I know… you like me. I can feel it. I’m not stupid…”

Taeun continued cautiously, imagining the sad beginning and end of their potential sexual relationship.

“But that’s a different issue.”

“It’s the same issue.”

A swift rebuttal. Jinhyun straightened his slumped back. Unlike a moment ago, when he’d seemed speechless, he now appeared to have a lot to say.

“Accepting my feelings means accepting everything, including sleeping with you.”

“Even if you think that, once it starts…”

“I like you, so I want to touch you, I want to be close to you, I want to know everything about you.”

His desperate tone as he confessed his desires was endearing. Taeun felt a familiar tingling sensation, like ants crawling over his heart. Even simple, honest words made his heart race. That’s why he didn’t want to move forward. It was a dilemma.

Taeun fidgeted, intertwining his fingers, then asked a random question.

“Have you ever slept with a man?”

Jinhyun’s serious expression instantly turned to one of disbelief.

“Are you crazy…”

He blurted out a reflexive response, then stopped himself. A warning signal went off in his head, memories of the past flooding his mind.

‘Can you sleep with me?’

‘Are you crazy?’

There had been a time like that.

Taeun’s dismissive laughter flashed through his mind. He almost made the same mistake again. Sleeping with a man other than Taeun was still a “crazy” notion to him, but emphasizing that here would be foolish. Jinhyun quickly spoke, preventing a prolonged silence.

“…Crazy.”

“…….”

“I haven’t… done that yet.”

It was a rather clumsy save, despite the strange turn of the conversation. Taeun, oblivious to Cha Jinhyun’s misstep, continued.

“Maybe you’re so confident because you haven’t experienced it.”

That was the point of his absurd question. You haven’t even experienced it, how can you be so sure? Jinhyun was about to retort when Taeun continued,

“I’m embarrassed to say this, but… that was the first time I tried to sleep with someone.”

Lee Taeun had experience. He’d experienced a crushing defeat at the hands of someone he liked. Jinhyun was speechless at the sudden confession. Despite the unexpected revelation that it had been Taeun’s “first time,” he felt a pang of sympathy rather than joy.

“It was because I was being stubborn, so I can’t really complain…”

Taeun’s self-deprecating tone betrayed his fear. He continued, avoiding Jinhyun’s gaze,

“Anyway… I really wanted to do it with you then.”

“…….”

“I thought things might change if we did.”

But what had happened? He’d only shown his selfish desire and lost the right to even like him. It wasn’t the first time. The more he’d pushed, the more things had gone wrong, spiraling into unbearable consequences.

“But we didn’t, in the end.”

Because he’s a man… Taeun trailed off.

He hoped this would make Jinhyun understand. His strange feelings: wanting to, yet not wanting to; curious, yet not curious. He wished he could articulate exactly what was bothering him, as Cha Jinhyun had suggested. But his confused, conflicting desires were too ambiguous for him to define.

“First of all… it’s not because you’re a man.”

Jinhyun, who had been listening quietly, spoke cautiously. Taeun, who’d been looking down, snapped his head up and retorted,

“You’re lying.”

“I know it sounds like an excuse, but it’s true. I wasn’t even thinking about it.”

That was ridiculous. Taeun narrowed his eyes, glaring at Jinhyun.

“Then why did you buy condoms? You bought condoms, but then chickened out because you were grossed out by the thought of sleeping with a man.”

“Those wouldn’t even fit you anyway.”

“…….”

The unexpected response brought a sudden silence. Taeun slowly raised his hand and scratched the bridge of his nose. What the…

“…You never asked my size.”

He could have ignored it, but he responded anyway. Jinhyun continued his explanation, unfazed.

“What I mean is… even if you were a woman, I wouldn’t have done it that day.”

Taeun, who had been speechless, now stared at him in shock. Jinhyun quickly stopped Taeun’s train of thought before it went off the rails.

“It wasn’t because you’re a man. I didn’t mean it like that.”

“…….”

“I thought that if I bought those damn condoms from the convenience store and took you to that run-down motel… you’d tell me to stop.”

“…….”

“Yes, I was provoking you, trying to hurt your pride. It was a terrible idea… and I regret it.”

He regretted pushing Taeun to act on his self-destructive impulses, for leaving such a terrible memory of what could have been his first time. It was another moment of self-reproach. He’d done a lot of stupid things in a short period of time.

“…Give me a chance to make it up to you.”

And ultimately, it was his responsibility to fix it.

“I’ll study up, I won’t disappoint you.”

Taeun stared at him, his eyes wavering at his earnest tone. A bewildered question escaped his lips.

“…Are you asking for a chance to… to have sex… with me?”

“Is that how it sounds…?”

“…….”

“I guess it is.”

As if realizing something new, Jinhyun nodded slowly. His expression as he suggested sleeping together was oddly determined. Taeun sighed, watching his resolute demeanor. He was more bewildered than embarrassed.

“How can we do that when we’re not even dating?”

“There are tons of people who sleep together without dating.”

“…Did… did you do that too?”

“…I’m not some kind of animal, I didn’t.”

“…….”

Then why are you asking me? Taeun felt slightly dejected by his misguided thoughts.

Because I liked you, because I still seem to like you, because I look easy… He couldn’t stop his thoughts from spiraling downwards.

“What’s wrong? What are you thinking?”

Jinhyun, noticing his darkening expression, gently grasped his wrist.

“…Nothing.”

“Yes, you are. What is it? Tell me.”

“It’s really nothing.”

“It’s something to me, so tell me.”

Taeun hesitated for a moment, his lips twitching open and closed soundlessly before he finally spoke.

“…I know I’ve been kind of reckless with you, but…”

“Yeah.”

“Honestly, I’m the type who wants to do that kind of thing within a relationship.”

“…….”

“Just so you know.”

It was a complaint, carefully concealed and finally revealed. He didn’t want a casual, one-night stand like “tons of people.” Jinhyun agreed.

“I’m sorry. I was being careless.”

“It’s fine.”

“Let me rephrase that. Give me a chance to serve you.”

“Huh?”

Taeun, whose heart had been melting at the apology, let out a confused sound.

Serve. It was a strangely suggestive word. Taeun couldn’t bring himself to refuse and started imagining what Jinhyun meant. It was an irresistible force of the universe.

What was he planning to do? Give him a handjob? Taeun’s neck flushed as he imagined his hand in Cha Jinhyun’s. But is that any different from sex? Preoccupied with such thoughts, he fell silent.

And Jinhyun felt impatient in the comfortable silence that followed. He was running out of time.

Taeun would be leaving for class soon, and if he let him go like this, he’d be screwed. Prolonging this conflict wouldn’t do any good. Unable to bear the silence, Jinhyun compromised, lowering his request.

“Or at least let me masturbate in front of you.”

“Are you out of your mind?”

Taeun’s shout was loud enough to startle the birds perched on the power lines. He’d been lost in thought, snapped back to reality by the absurd suggestion. He quickly covered Jinhyun’s mouth, afraid someone might have heard. Jinhyun pulled his hand away and continued,

“Everything else aside, Lee Tae… I mean, Taeun, honestly, there’s no other way than to just do it. I know you’re scared.”

He continued his earnest attempt to persuade Taeun.

“So, at least let me show you that I’m aroused by you. I’ll be the only one naked, you can just sit there and watch.”

“What the… are you giving me a strip show?”

“If you want me to, I will.”

“N-n-no, thanks.”

He sounded like he’d drop his pants right there and then if Taeun said yes. Flustered, Taeun stammered his refusal. Jinhyun clicked his tongue, his disappointment evident.

“Then what?

“…….”

“What do I have to do to make you believe me?”

He was asking for solutions after making those preposterous suggestions, his expression completely serious.

“Should I get naked and shout?”

“You’re really going all out.”

“Do I not look like I would?”

Taeun swallowed hard. I shouldn’t have brought up platonic love… He was overwhelmed by Jinhyun’s near-manic behavior. He must really like… sex. The thought suddenly occurred to him.

“Let’s… let’s talk about this later. I have to go to class.”

Fortunately, it was finally time to use his class as an excuse. He wasn’t in a hurry, but it was time to leave. Taeun stood up abruptly, and Jinhyun followed suit.

“When is later?”

“Later is later…”

“Just give me a date.”

But Jinhyun wasn’t about to let him go that easily. He was still holding Taeun’s wrist, his grip firm but not painful enough to warrant a struggle.

“Uh, next Wednesday.”

Taeun picked the busiest day he could think of. It was during the festival. He’d be busy helping the academic society during his free period, and then he had to go straight to work, so he wouldn’t have any time. It was a cowardly tactic, but he had no other choice. He hadn’t anticipated Jinhyun’s aversion to the idea of a platonic relationship, so he needed time to come up with another plan.

“Okay.”

Having confirmed the date, Jinhyun finally released his wrist. He immediately took out his phone and opened his calendar. Taeun felt a chill as he watched him add an event.

“I really have to go to class now… so you should go home too. Just go.”

“Okay, I’m going home to masturbate.”

The chill intensified.

“…….”

“I’ll think of you while I do it.”

It’s my first time, so I’m really nervous. His voice, calmly reporting his plans, sounded as casual as if he were discussing the weather.

“Why… why are you telling me this?”

“I have to appeal to you somehow. All I can do right now is sexually harass you.”

At least he was aware he was being a pervert. Taeun slowly backed away, unable to retort. He had no right to scold Jinhyun, considering he’d sexually harassed him multiple times himself.

“I-I’m going now.”

He mumbled a farewell and quickly turned away, walking briskly.

Jinhyun watched him go, then fiddled with his phone before bringing it to his ear. After a few rings, the call connected. Taeun’s voice, still laced with fluster, came through the speaker.

—Ah, what?

“You’re just leaving without saying goodbye?”

Taeun stopped in his tracks. He turned around slowly, and Jinhyun waved.

“Have a good class, and watch where you’re going.”

—I’m not a child…

Despite his grumbling, Taeun waved back, his hand moving vaguely around his chest. Jinhyun chuckled, unsure whether he was patting his stomach or scratching his chest.

“Taeun.”

—Yeah.

Jinhyun stood where Taeun had been, taking a deep breath of the fresh, grassy air that filled his lungs. He exhaled and spoke.

“I like you.”

—…….

“Just wanted to tell you.”

—…….

Silence hung in the air. Only the faint sound of their breathing could be heard as they stared at each other, their figures reduced to the size of fingers in the distance. The call ended with a short reply. Watching Taeun walk away again, Jinhyun replayed the teasing words in his mind.

‘I know.’

He knew. That was a relief.

🔥

After returning home and showering, Jinhyun stepped out of the bathroom in just his underwear. He walked languidly, a towel draped over his head. He entered his room, turned on the light, and went to the window.

He closed the curtains, blocking out the sunlight that had been stretching across the room. He turned and sat on the freshly made bed, drying his hair. After a while, he tossed the damp towel onto the armrest of a chair and leaned back against the headboard, closing his eyes.

Drowsiness slowly enveloped him. He twitched his toes, a strange tingling sensation running through them, and opened his eyes.

A warmth, different from exhaustion, radiated through him like a gentle fire. The fatigue that had settled over him was just enough to make good on his earlier joke. He glanced down at his slight erection.

His penis was already semi-hard, even without any stimulation. It was as if all the lewd images that had plagued his mind all day had coalesced into a single point. He stretched his legs out on the rustling sheets and sighed, his body relaxing.

His promise to “study up” hadn’t been empty words, and now that their second meeting was scheduled, there was no reason to postpone his preparations.

He ran a hand through his damp hair and fumbled for his phone on the mattress. He’d start by looking for some reference material. He decided that audiovisual aids would facilitate immersion. Besides, he was admittedly ignorant about same-sex relationships, so it wouldn’t hurt to do some research.

How long has it been? A self-deprecating smile tugged at his lips as he added a frivolous thought. To think… the day would come when he’d be using gay porn as… well, porn.

He was really going to all lengths. A flicker of self-loathing arose, but he quickly extinguished it. After the whole platonic love discussion, was there anything he wouldn’t do? He moved his fingers in the air, then tapped his thumb on the screen. G… a… y… p… He muttered the letters as he typed them into the search bar.

The search, which he expected to take a long time, ended in an instant. Thanks to a single search query, countless sites appeared, filling the scrolling list. It was a moment of renewed realization that the world was vast and populated by a truly diverse range of people.

He clicked on the top link, which was filled with English words, and the rectangular screen was immediately covered in flesh tones. Jinhyun instinctively frowned and briefly surveyed the site.

“…Tsk.”

The thumbnails were all provocative, and the subjects were, of course, all men. His throat tightened at this obvious fact. He narrowed his eyes and carefully scrolled, selecting a relatively tame thumbnail.

It was ridiculous to look for romance in porn, but he still tried to pick something that at least resembled a couple… He switched the phone to his left hand as the screen faded to black. The video began with two clothed Western men.

They exchanged a few words and smoldering glances, appearing rather affectionate. It was the atmosphere he’d been hoping for. Is this really going to work? He dismissed his lingering doubts and began absentmindedly stroking himself. Then, the seemingly intimate atmosphere abruptly shifted.

Casting aside any pretense of shyness, they started kissing passionately, frantically tearing off their clothes. Like bulls in a ring, they ravenously explored each other’s bodies, their lips slick with saliva. They twisted nipples, bit and sucked, then ripped off their underwear. Jinhyun’s hand gradually stilled as the scene turned explicitly sexual. He stared at the screen, slightly bewildered. The sight of them greedily licking each other’s crotches was obscene, like the ghosts of sexually frustrated gay virgins had possessed them.

The foreplay was short and intense, and the two Westerners, seemingly possessed by some Eastern spirits, quickly moved on to penetration. Thud, smack, squelch, thud… A cacophony of sounds filled the room. Jinhyun’s gaze on the writhing naked bodies grew cold.

About twenty minutes later, with half the video left, Jinhyun quietly closed the window.

“…….”

He sighed heavily, his expression troubled. He closed all the pop-up windows and turned off his phone. Watching other men have sex had extinguished his arousal rather than fueling it.

His main goal had been to see how it was done, so this much audiovisual material was more than enough. …Sex is sex, is there really a difference just because they’re men? It was a foolish thought. He lay back on his pillow, staring at the ceiling. His erection had subsided. It was an inevitable outcome. None of the men in the video resembled Taeun in the slightest.

Their skin wasn’t as fair as Taeun’s, their necks weren’t as long and slender. Their lips were thin and almost nonexistent when they smiled, unlike Taeun’s full, inviting lips. The actors’ bodies were curvy and bulging like giant, wobbling balloons, while Taeun’s physique was lean and toned. Their close-cropped hair even hinted at receding hairlines. It was impossible to masturbate to the sight of these men, who were the complete opposite of the thick-haired Lee Taeun.

It was ruined.

His pent-up desire, which had been building all day, fizzled out, leaving him feeling dissatisfied. He stared blankly at the ceiling, then reached for his phone again. He suddenly wanted to see the face that had inadvertently been brought to mind by the comparison. Maybe looking at Taeun’s beautiful face would improve his mood.

Jinhyun opened his photo album and selected the most recent picture. In the photo, Taeun was smiling sheepishly, his cheek smeared with whipped cream from someone’s prank.

“So cute…”

He always smiles like that when he’s happy, Jinhyun muttered to himself, mimicking the smile. He gazed at the photo for a moment, then swiped to the next one. There were dozens of photos, each capturing Taeun from a different angle. He leisurely admired them.

Opening his photo album had been a good idea. Looking at Lee Taeun definitely lifted his spirits. No, it did more than that; it rekindled his dying embers of arousal. He swiped through about fifteen photos when his thumb stopped abruptly.

Taeun appeared, holding a tissue as if to wipe his cheek. He’d taken the photo because he’d found Taeun’s furrowed brows, annoyed by the sticky cream, endearing… but looking at the photo now, the angle from above, the white cream smeared on his face, and the fact that he was only wearing underwear, made him feel strangely aroused.

“…….”

Jinhyun inhaled sharply, his gaze fixed on the photo as he slowly sat up.

He swung his legs over the side of the bed and sat up, swiping to the next photo. Another picture with the same angle appeared. Taeun was looking up, his gaze directed above the camera. He swiped again. Taeun’s lips were parted as if he was about to speak, his face smeared with the thick, white cream. Jinhyun’s hand instinctively moved downwards. He stared intently at the screen, lightly stroking himself over his underwear, his penis hardening with surprising speed. A single photo had reignited his dormant desire.

One of the obscene thumbnails he’d seen earlier flashed through his mind, superimposed on the photo on his screen. A fleeting twinge of guilt quickly faded. He pulled down the waistband of his underwear. His erect penis sprang free, bouncing against his stomach. He gripped it and stroked, the engorged veins throbbing.

“Ah…”

He lowered his head, his gaze fixed on Taeun in his hand, then closed his eyes.

The fragmented images that had been floating around in his mind all day now seamlessly connected in the darkness behind his eyelids. He pulled Taeun into his mental image and laid him down on his bed. He was wearing the same plain navy sweatshirt and white t-shirt peeking out from underneath that he’d seen earlier today.

He gently lifted the hem of the sweatshirt and caressed Taeun’s flat stomach. The way his skin shivered at the cool air only heightened the sensation. He pushed the bothersome sweatshirt up and placed his lips below Taeun’s navel, the shivering intensifying. He imagined trailing his lips along his side, licking up his ribs. As he gently sucked on his nipple, a soft moan, unlike any he’d heard before, escaped Taeun’s lips.

He suddenly wondered, Would Lee Taeun feel it here too? Would he moan like those men if he sucked him? He felt an urge to greedily suck on places he hadn’t considered erogenous zones before, just like the men in the video. The porn, which had failed to arouse him earlier, now served a different purpose. He swallowed, his mouth dry, and continued his fantasy. As he teased his nipple, he unbuckled Taeun’s pants, and Taeun gasped, grabbing his hand. Even in his imagination, it wasn’t entirely under his control.

He kissed the inside of Taeun’s wrist, peeling away the fabric covering his trembling body and moving between his legs. Taeun was now beneath him, naked, his face partially hidden by his arm, turned away, only his lower jaw visible. His skin, all the way to his collarbone, was flushed. He held Taeun’s knees, which kept trying to close, and gently pulled them apart. A flustered voice tickled his ear.

He started at Taeun’s soft calves, licking and sucking his way up his legs, leaving marks near his groin as he caressed him. He teased the tip of his penis with his thumb, smearing the precum, and reveled in the sound of Taeun moaning his name. In his imagination, he carefully slid a finger between Taeun’s buttocks.

Taeun gasped, his eyes, wide and flushed with arousal and fear, shimmering with unshed tears. It was a look he’d seen often, yet in this context, it was unfamiliar, and a tightness gripped his lower abdomen. He buried his face in Taeun’s neck, his body pressed against his. Taeun clung to his shoulders, just like he always did.

“Ah, fuck…”

His hand moved faster, stroking his hardening penis.

The scene he’d conjured brought him intense satisfaction. He sucked on Taeun’s earlobe, the body beneath him writhing in response. He lifted his torso slightly and held one of Taeun’s spread legs. A phantom moan, almost like a sob, echoed in his ears, heightening his senses. He positioned himself at Taeun’s entrance and slowly pushed inside. A wave of overwhelming arousal shot through him.

The engorged veins in his penis pulsed. An intense pressure built in his groin. He threw his head back, his breath coming in ragged gasps. His damp hair clung to his sweaty forehead. Thick, hot semen spurted out in several bursts.

“Ha…”

He lay there for a moment, eyes closed, catching his breath, then slowly opened them and looked down. A puddle of semen glistened in his hand, overflowing and dripping onto the sheets. His gaze drifted to his phone lying at his feet.

Taeun, his face clean, smiled innocently from the screen.

Jinhyun muttered a curse and grabbed a tissue with his left hand, wiping his phone. The unfinished fantasy lingered, a residue of strange arousal. He dragged himself out of bed, his limbs heavy.

…Shit, maybe I shouldn’t have done that.

As he entered the bathroom, he had a premonition that lewd thoughts would now fill his mind every time he saw Taeun. The image of his semen on Taeun’s face resurfaced, unsettling him. It was natural to feel sexual attraction towards someone he liked, but… this was bordering on perversion.

“Ugh.”

He groaned and splashed cold water on his face.

One thing was certain: this time, Lee Taeun was wrong.