Kill Your X Chapter 11

“Please stop. If you wanted someone who only moves according to your will, you should have gotten a robot, not given birth to a living, breathing child.”

I stood up first. Ignoring my father’s rising temper, I fled towards the front door. Behind me, the noise my father was making mixed with my sister’s weak attempts to calm him down. My mother, who had followed me, tightly gripped my hand, looking distraught.

“Gyujin, don’t be too upset. You know your father does everything for you, right?”

My energy drained away. It felt like I didn’t have a single person truly on my side in this world.

“I’m not going on that blind date, so just know that.”

“Oh, actually, everything’s already been arranged. She’s the daughter of the district congressman, so you absolutely can’t refuse this time…”

I gently shook off my mother’s hand. Before throwing open the door and leaving, I turned and forced the corners of my mouth upwards.

If my mother had any fault, it was only that she chose a domineering man like my father as her husband. Even though her thoughts had eventually become aligned with his, I considered her a victim just like me. I didn’t want to resent her for not being able to shield her child.

“I’m sorry to leave so early after coming here after such a long time. Take care of yourself.”

“Gyujin!”

The sound of the front door closing behind me brought a wave of liberation. The biting wind outside was more comforting than the warm, stuffy air inside the house, even though I’m usually very sensitive to the cold.

“Ha…”

As I retraced my steps, my mood plummeted. I was sick and tired of the conservative, almost suffocating atmosphere of my family home. I felt like screaming in the middle of the road.

The pressure to get married, which started right after I graduated from university, had intensified with each passing year. While the focus was always on building a happy family, the reality was no different from an arranged marriage. It was a thinly veiled directive to sell myself off as a sacrificial lamb to benefit my father’s network.

Marrying without love wasn’t the only problem. The expectation of grandchildren was even more unbearable.

“My dick doesn’t even get hard when I see a woman, so what the hell am I supposed to do?”

I wanted to come out and be done with it, but my father’s position kept my mouth shut. With him nominated as a candidate for Chief of the National Police Agency, if it somehow got out that his son was gay, there was a risk of unnecessary gossip and scandal.

Even before questioning the rights and wrongs of homosexuality, that’s just how things worked in that world. My father’s excessive pretense of integrity stemmed from that very reason.

On days like this, I usually relieved my stress with sex, but since I currently had Si Yeonho hanging around, it felt awkward to go to a club. Especially after that one time I was followed.

Should I just try switching my preferences at this point?

He’s a guy who said he’d willingly be fucked by me if I wanted it. It was contradictory that I avoided relationships with guys taller than me, even though bottoms are supposed to like big dicks, and Si Yeonho’s looks weren’t common in this scene.

I finally escaped the congested road and arrived home. Even after I showered, taking twice as long as usual, and lay in bed, I was still consumed by the same thoughts I’d had in the car. I tried to ignore them and force myself to sleep, but it only backfired.

Close to midnight, as I wrestled with the knot of emotions in my chest, I abruptly sat up. I didn’t know what might happen if I kept holding onto this anger, which had morphed into sexual frustration. I picked up my phone and searched for Si Yeonho’s name.

Despite calling him out of the blue late at night, he answered surprisingly quickly.

―Hello, Sunbae.

“Come to my place now.”

―Okay.

The plan came together in less than a minute. I was satisfied with his unquestioning obedience to my demands. I didn’t know what dark secrets he was hiding, but at least for tonight, I was certain he would bend to my will.

“If it comes down to it, I just won’t let him penetrate me.”

Sex wasn’t just about shoving a dick in a hole and pumping. With the right partner, there were countless ways to relieve sexual frustration. This was knowledge I had personally acquired over ten years.

I pictured the prey that would soon enter my space. Pale skin, as if he’d lived in a sunless cave, contrasting with jet-black hair and eyes. The empty, world-weary look in his eyes strangely blurred his handsome features.

Adding to that his well-built physique, perfectly suited for a suit, and his uniquely gentle tone of voice, my cock throbbed in my pajama pants. The anticipation of exploring a new relationship had already made it quite hard.

Imagining his expressionless face contorting in exquisite pain, I reached into my pants. A violent desire, built up over a considerable period, seethed within me.

✽✽✽

The doorbell rang not long after I hung up. Instead of going to greet him, I remained seated and called Si Yeonho.

“I just texted you the door code. Come on in.”

I stroked my cock, anticipating the sight of him soon entering my view. I heard the sound of the door opening, and Si Yeonho appeared.

“Sunbae.”

Even though it was past midnight, Si Yeonho was fully dressed in his suit.

“What? Are you disgusted to see me like this as soon as you arrive?”

The chill he exuded excited me, intensifying the feeling of impending orgasm. It felt like he’d been waiting for my call and rushed over immediately.

“Ugh…”

Our eyes met. I thought I didn’t have a voyeuristic streak, even with all my other kinks, but the thrilling sensation from his intense gaze suggested otherwise.

With his indifferent face as a side dish, I came again. My body felt languid from the consecutive orgasms. Just a few hours ago, I’d been in a terrible mood, but my body, unlike my mind, was simple.

“Was it because you were horny? The reason you called me?”

He spoke as if genuinely curious.

“Is that a problem?”

“Not at all.”

Si Yeonho stared intently at my now reddened cock as I wiped away the semen with a tissue. Even though it wasn’t my first time showing my dick to another man, a wave of embarrassment washed over me.

“Yeonho, were you annoyed when you got my call? It’s late.”

“I was awake.”

“What were you doing up so late?”

“Nothing.”

“That’s good. I was a little worried I might have interrupted you while you were busy. I heard the entertainment industry has a lot of late nights.”

Our conversation would have seemed quite normal if it weren’t for the fact that I was half-naked.

“You can contact me anytime, Sunbae. I’ll come running like this if you need me.”

“You’re so cute, Yeonho.”

Give me your coat. I finally stood up and attended to my guest. He was like a matryoshka doll; his overcoat, suit jacket, and even his shirt underneath were all black, which made me chuckle. It would have been quite a sight if his underwear was black too.

“Why do you always wear black, like some kind of grim reaper?”

I made a silly joke, asking if his closet was filled with nothing but black clothes. It was nothing serious, but Si Yeonho’s silence made the atmosphere awkward.

“…….”

“Well, it suits you, though. Black.”

I brushed off the failed joke and went back to the bed. As I passed by, Si Yeonho seemed slightly flustered.

Was he intentionally ignoring me, or was he simply at a loss for words? It was becoming a problem how cute I found his awkwardness, given his good looks.

“Yeonho.”

“Yes, Sunbae.”

“You said you’ve never had sex, right?”

“Yes.”

Among some men, sexual experience at a certain age was treated like a matter of pride, but Si Yeonho didn’t seem at all embarrassed about being a virgin at twenty-nine. Well, at that point, it wasn’t that he couldn’t have sex, but rather that he chose not to.

“Then you’ve never sucked a dick either.”

Instead of answering, his gaze shifted to my crotch. Not backing down from his blatant interest, I slowly scanned his entire body. Sometimes, clothes made a body look even sexier, and Si Yeonho was a perfect example of that.

“Come here.”

I beckoned with my finger, and Si Yeonho approached me like a well-trained dog. Without being asked, he lowered himself onto one knee. In an instant, our eye levels were reversed.

I brushed his jet-black hair back. The soft texture against my hand sent a rush of blood downwards. His gentle yet unreadable eyes were fixed solely on me.

“Tell me now if you don’t want to do this. I won’t force you.”

“Do you like it when someone does this for you?”

“Hmm. I usually prefer to suck, but I’m not in the mood today.”

Si Yeonho reached for my pants without hesitation. I lifted my hips slightly, and he pulled down both my pants and underwear. His bold move, wedging himself between my legs to prepare for oral sex, sparked a flicker of suspicion again. As he stroked my exposed cock, I asked him,

“So, what do you think? Seeing another man’s dick right in front of you.”

Whether he was secretly experienced or not didn’t really matter. Hoping he would hold out until my anger subsided, I pulled on the back of his head.

“It looks like you, Sunbae.”

My thoughts screeched to a halt. Was he subtly insulting my dick? Was this his way of protesting being summoned so late at night?

“I mean, it’s beautiful.”

Si Yeonho said, looking back and forth between my cock and my face. His gaze fell back on my cock.