Kill Your X Chapter 60

—Yes. I also ate all the side dishes evenly.

The flow of thought was so absurd and cute that a groaning sound came out of me automatically. I answered him with my hand on my forehead.

“Yeah. Good job. You’re pretty because you eat well, Seunghan.”

He was satisfied after getting a compliment in a way that was like bowing to receive a bow. Before I called him, I was full of worry, but seeing him talk about trivial things gave me a sense of expectation that the situation might be going better than I thought.

“Keep eating well like that. By the way, when are you coming back home?”

—I’m not sure about that yet. I’m currently trying to make contact with the Russian mafia.

“What, the mafia?”

The expectation that had just been created evaporated in an instant. I unintentionally raised my voice at the drastically increased scale of the response.

—Yes. The mafia.

I’m going to have kimchi stew for breakfast tomorrow. Seunghan replied with about that much weight. It was always my job to be driven crazy.

“You said you had a plan, so why are you suddenly meeting the mafia? Won’t that make you more dangerous?”

—If things go wrong, that’s what will happen. But Sunbae, the police and the organization already have a strong connection in this country. Your father won’t budge unless you push with a bigger force. He’s a man with a lot of ambition when it comes to honor.

“Father is…”

—Don’t worry too much. I have no intention of making him step down from his position. He’s your family, Sunbae. My goal now is to neatly cut out only the Kumto gang.

“Seunghan. I know you’re a really capable and great person, but what’s in it for the mafia to help you?”

—It sounds like an insult, am I right?

He seems clueless, but at times like this, he’s a ghost.

“Halfway.”

—It’s simple. It creates an opportunity for them to break into the domestic crime distribution network that the Kumto gang has monopolized so far. Even if they don’t make it their base, Korea is a highly useful country just for its geographical advantages. If protecting one person like me is the price, it’s a profitable business for them.

Is it because he stayed in the organization for over twenty years? The information Seunghan held was much more extensive than I thought. It encompassed not only drug import and export routes but also stock price manipulation and defense industry corruption.

I knew the country was rotten, but I was quite shocked to find out it was to this extent. It was no exaggeration to say that the dark organization had controlled the country as they pleased, and if all this information were to be released, the country would turn into a mess overnight.

The Kumto gang probably never imagined that the karma of entrusting all the practical work to Seo Seunghan would come back to them in this way. After all, he had lived as the organization’s dog with his ego castrated from a very young age.

“So when are you coming home? I miss you.”

—Ah.

From my confused heart, I only took out my sincerity and conveyed it. I imagined his flustered expression and a small laugh escaped me.

—I think it will take a little more time. It’s more complicated than it looks to coordinate the scope of the information to be handed over. They also have to decide when to start their actions. So….

“Why are you rambling, unlike yourself?”

I heard a deep sigh over the speaker.

—I’m anxious. Sunbae might not be able to wait and go looking for another man’s dick. Do you by any chance have any sex toys?

Not just another man, but another man’s ‘dick’. I admit I’m a slut, but it was a little sad that Seo Seunghan also treated me like this.

“Rest assured. There are many men with dicks in the world, but people like you are rare.”

—I’ll be there soon, Sunbae. I miss you too.

It was a shame, but I ended the call. I hadn’t heard all the situations and conditions, but in my own judgment, the probability of Seo Seunghan’s plan succeeding seemed to be 50/50. Even if the plan succeeded, there was a possibility that retaliation would come back to him in a different way later on.

I had half-heartedly made up my mind to live abroad if necessary, but I couldn’t help but feel troubled at the thought of giving up so much.

✽✽✽

I was still lost in my personal worries.

As the case of the serial disappearance of police officers resurfaced, related materials could also be easily found on portal sites. The scene of people who had lost their families overnight wailing did not leave my mind. Also, an old mother who beat her chest, saying it was her lifelong regret that she couldn’t hold a funeral because she never found her son’s body.

Seo Seunghan said he wouldn’t touch my father, but the fact that my father was the real culprit of that incident remained unchanged. One thing that bothers me is my father’s memory of that day’s incident.

‘Does he really not remember the events surrounding my death?’

According to Seo Seunghan’s explanation, although he could revive a dead person by lending his life, it was impossible to completely erase the memories of the people involved. He said that the best he could do with his ability was to put the memory to sleep deep in the unconscious. In fact, Si Yeonho also only remembered parts of the incident where he jumped to his death accurately.

Seeing that his attitude towards me hadn’t changed for over ten years, there was a high possibility that my father’s memory of that day’s incident had been neatly cut out, leaving only me.

I wanted to try and touch that state. Just as I had remembered the past, I believed that if there was some kind of trigger, my father could do the same.

“Mother. Is Father at home right now? It’s nothing special, I just have something to tell him.”

My voice didn’t tremble as I made the appointment. My two feet standing on the floor were also firm.

“Yes. Then I’ll visit you at home the day after tomorrow. Good night.”

After hanging up the phone, I looked out the window. The orange sun and the navy blue sky met, creating a strange color. The time of the dog and the wolf, whether the being hidden behind it is on my side or an enemy will naturally be revealed when dusk falls.

“Father…”

I mulled over the title that had never been easy to pronounce. I know well that the world doesn’t only turn on good. But at the very least, there should be no one who doesn’t even remember the sins they committed.

✽✽✽

The main house, which I visited for the first time in a while, was peaceful. The two-story detached house located in a quiet, wealthy neighborhood was one of my mother’s prides. It was the house my father had moved into after a special promotion about ten years ago, and my mother was as happy as a girl, saying that she never thought she would live in such a magnificent house when she got married.

Starting as a patrol officer, he is now the current Seoul Metropolitan Police Agency Commissioner, and the position of the National Police Agency Commissioner General is just around the corner. The success story my father had written was, on the surface, at a marvelous level.

“Our Gyujin is here? What’s the occasion that you want to talk to your father first?”

As I entered the house, my mother greeted me with a bright smile.

“He has a big event ahead of him. If Father really becomes the police commissioner general, he’ll be even busier than now, and as a son, I should at least not forget my parents’ faces.”

“This kid, he’s getting better and better with his slick words.”

The last conversation we had was a heated argument over a blind date that was set up without my consent. The memory of having a proper conversation between parent and child was a distant one.

“Where is Father?”

“He’s working in the study. I don’t know how hard I had to persuade him when he said he wouldn’t come home because he was busy.”

Of all places, the study. My throat was already tight because it was the place where I had eavesdropped on a phone call in the past.

My mother handed me a tray of refreshments she had prepared in advance, telling the men to have a cozy conversation for the first time in a while.

“Mother, I have something I’m curious about.”

“What is it?”

“Do you by any chance remember the day I came home after sleeping out for one night when I was a high school senior?”

After a moment of recalling, my mother clapped her hands.

“Of course. You came in at dawn looking like you had rolled around in a mud field. Do you know what you said when I asked for the reason?”

“What did I say?”

My mother shook her head as if it were funny just thinking about it again.

“Well, you said you got lost while hiking to clear your head because of the stress from the college entrance exams. And that’s how your uniform got into this mess because you slipped. I don’t know how much stress that stoic kid was under on the inside. I can still vividly picture your dazed face as if you were half-asleep.”

The suspicion was gaining more and more weight. Hearing it from someone else’s mouth, the memory came back to life much more vividly.

“Did Father scold me a lot back then?”

“Of course. It had been a long time since I saw your father shout like that at home. But why are you suddenly asking about that?”

“It just came to mind on my way here. I thought I had lived a quiet life all this time, but looking back, there was also something like that.”

My mother smiled, saying that even though a high school student’s body is all grown up, their mind is still like a child’s. I gave a bitter smile at her sincere compliment that she was so grateful that I had grown up so well.

“Go ahead and rest comfortably first. My conversation with Father might get long.”

After confirming that my mother was going up to the second floor, I knocked on the study. As I entered with the tray, my father let out a short ‘ha’ and clicked his tongue.

“Father, have you been well?”

“Do you know how embarrassed I was in front of Assemblyman Kim after you ruined the blind date I had arranged with so much difficulty?”

My father said, taking off his glasses. I placed the tray on the desk and pushed a teacup in front of my father.

“I went to that meeting out of consideration for Father’s face. If I had intended to ignore it completely, I would have just ghosted them.”

“This kid, where did you learn to talk back like that.”

“Have some tea. It’s green tea, which you like, Father.”

I pulled a chair without permission and sat opposite my father. It was the first time I had initiated a conversation since becoming an adult, so my father seemed inwardly bewildered.