Kill Your X Chapter 87

He didn’t leave a will, so all sorts of speculations were rampant in public. Among them was a rumor that the Kumto gang boss, feeling resentful for being dragged into the mess, had carried out a private revenge. For those of us left behind, there was no way of knowing the truth.

I was originally supposed to stand as a witness in the trial, but due to the suspect’s death, the indictment itself was dismissed. There were many victims, yet it ended with the empty conclusion that no one had properly taken responsibility. The effort I put into revealing the truth vanished into thin air, but that was as far as my feelings went.

I became the chief mourner and kept watch at my father’s funeral home. My mother’s health hadn’t fully recovered, so she wasn’t in a state to leave the hospital, and my older sister had to take full-time care of her young nephew, so she hardly ever came out of the waiting room behind the funeral hall.

I was more comfortable with that, too. I had asked Seo Seunghan to erase the information that had spread online, and it was obvious that if a new photo of me was taken by mistake, it would only cause more stress.

The media summarized this incident as a tragedy perpetrated by a power-abusing psychopath. My father’s acquaintances were busy cutting ties, worried that the fire might spread to them.

My father had boasted of such a wide network of connections, yet the number of people who came to pay their respects at the funeral home could be counted on one hand. In fact, there were more people who came because of me.

I hadn’t even sent out an obituary notice on purpose, but Yeojun and Hyun Jin arrived on the first day of the funeral and stayed the whole time. I knew well that this was a consideration for me, rather than for my father.

Starting in the afternoon, more reporters than regular mourners began to show up. It seemed they had been grinding their teeth while I was in hiding, as the level of their questions was intense.

“Mr. Song Gyujin. What are your thoughts on the speculation that your father was suicided by someone from the Kumto gang?”

“Did you not feel any guilt for exposing your father’s crimes? Did you anticipate it would turn out this way?”

“Your mother attempted suicide a while ago. There is speculation that she actually already knew about her husband’s illicit activities. Did you not sense anything of the sort, Mr. Song Gyujin?”

“Just one word, please. Mr. Song Gyujin!”

“Mr. Song Gyujin!”

They were so persistent that the funeral home staff had to step in and drive the reporters out. Seo Seunghan, who had worn a black suit but said he would mostly just stay outside, couldn’t stand it anymore and came in to help. Because of his noticeably fierce demeanor, some people even asked if he was a bodyguard I had hired separately.

“Hah…”

I don’t know how I got through the service in one piece. As I was sitting collapsed on the floor, staring blankly at the portrait of the deceased, Seo Seunghan came in. He stood before my father, paid his respects, and lit an incense stick. I watched him silently. It was late on the second night of the funeral, when the already few visitors had almost completely stopped coming.

Seo Seunghan was also there when the coffin was carried and moved. The feeling I had when my father was buried in the family plot was something I felt I would never be able to forget, even in death.

It was sorrowful and empty. Such is death.

✽✽✽

With the funeral, my father’s business was concluded. My mother, who had been in the hospital for a while, safely recovered her health. I was told that she recently moved to a distant region with my sister and nephew. After long deliberation, I tried to call to check on her, but my mother didn’t answer my call. The non-response was the answer itself.

As time passed, the fervor of the press that had clung to me so annoyingly finally cooled down. It seemed my consistent silence had been effective.

For a while, I suffered from symptoms of depression, but I gradually got better with Seo Seunghan’s devoted care. The very first thing I pushed for after my body and mind returned to normal was to repay those who had helped me.

I wanted to be sure to express my gratitude before leaving on a long trip. Yeojun and Hyun Jin, who had come to my father’s funeral, stayed by my side for three whole days, and even helped carry the coffin at the end, were without a doubt the top priority. Including the debts I owed them from before, even if I spent my whole life paying them back, it wouldn’t be enough.

I had sent Seo Seunghan to the supermarket alone to get groceries, and he came back with enough to feed at least twenty adults. After setting down the grocery bags at home, he drove the car again to pick up our guests from the nearby station. This was because taxis didn’t come all the way to the villa very often.

In the meantime, I prepared the ingredients. At first, I wondered when I would ever finish it all, but seeing the long table on the terrace completely filled with food made me feel secretly proud. It was truly a barbecue party after a long time.

Before long, Seo Seunghan and today’s guests arrived home. It was a welcome sight to see their faces after several weeks.

“Hyun Jin, you’re here?”

I was about to follow up by asking why his complexion was so pale. The cause was standing right next to him.

“Sunbae!”

Hyun Jin ran to me and hugged me tightly. The considerable weight almost made me fall backward. I thought he was just being overly cute as per his usual personality, but Hyun Jin urgently whispered in my ear.

“Wow, Sunbae. I was so, so scared. Can you believe Seunghan hyung-nim didn’t say a single word the whole ride here? Even when he came to pick me up at the station, he just gestured—once, sharply. I tried to talk to him first in the car, but he just stared at me, so I almost made a mistake. It wasn’t even a domestic car; if I did that in a foreign car, the rest of my life would be rough.”

Towards the end, the volume of his voice grew, so it wasn’t really a whisper anymore. I laughed, understanding his predicament, then slowly pushed Hyun Jin away when I noticed the icy glare directed at us as we continued to hug.

The more I looked at Seo Seunghan, the more I realized he was rich in emotions. It’s just that his facial muscles moved within an extremely limited range compared to an average person. Still, I could understand everything. Just a moment ago, didn’t his eyes clearly convey the words, ‘Just how much am I supposed to tolerate this person?’

“You went through a lot coming all this way. I would have normally suggested we meet somewhere halfway, but as you know, it’s still a bit difficult for me to go out freely.”

“It’s okay, Sunbae. It was nice taking the train for the first time in a while, felt like I was going on a trip. By the way, wasn’t someone else supposed to come today too?”

“Ah, Yeojun had something urgent come up, so he can’t make it. I’m planning to treat him separately later.”

After being briefly intimidated by Seo Seunghan’s aura, not living up to his large frame, Hyun Jin was soon busy looking around the villa in admiration. Finally, he entered the kitchen and made a huge fuss.

“Ooh, 1++ Hanwoo beef!”

“You recognized it right away. Seunghan, how much did you say this was per geun?”

“I don’t know.”

“The marbling is insane. You once said that unrequited favors only extend as far as American beef, Sunbae.”

Hyun Jin joked, quoting my past words. He must have gone through a lot of heartache because of me, so I was relieved to see him regain his bright smile.

Once the fire was lit in the brazier, the barbecue party began in earnest. I didn’t realize it until then, but coincidentally, Seo Seunghan, Hyun Jin, and I were all the type to fight for control of the tongs in front of meat. Since Hyun Jin was my junior, I could at least overrule him, but Seo Seunghan showed no signs of budging on his stubbornness.

Perfectly cooked meat was piled up neatly on the plate. Grilled over charcoal, even the smell was to die for. Hyun Jin, who had been antsy about not being able to grill the meat despite being the youngest, soon began to devour the meat excitedly.

“Seunghan. That’s enough, let’s switch. You need to eat some meat too.”

“I am eating.”

“You’ve had exactly one piece so far. And that was just to taste if it was cooked well.”

As I hovered nearby, Seo Seunghan suddenly opened his mouth. Flustered, I glanced at Hyun Jin for a moment. He was in a trance, focused on eating meat.

“I said hand over the tongs?”

“If you really want to, you can feed me, Sunbae.”

“Feed you what? Just pick it up and eat it yourself.”

“Then the tongs are mine forever.”

It felt like it would be weirder for this conversation to continue, so I made a small wrap and popped it into his mouth. Seo Seunghan chewed with small movements and cooked the meat deliciously. He couldn’t have learned it anywhere, but his skill was amazing.

The cycle of him opening his mouth like a baby bird and me feeding him meat repeated. As it continued, Hyun Jin, who had let it slide the first couple of times, started giving us the side-eye.

“I’ve been curious for a while, but what exactly is the relationship between you two? You seem too close to be just high school senior and junior. And also, Seunghan hyung-nim, you’re not really involved in a multi-level marketing scheme, are you?”

Instead of answering directly, Seo Seunghan looked at me. Unlike me, his face hadn’t been exposed to the media. If so, there was probably no need to reveal to Hyun Jin the fact that he used to be a gangster.

“He’s my boyfriend.”

“Pfft!”

Now that I had confessed, it was no big deal. I thought I would never say such a thing in front of an acquaintance, not even if I were about to die. You really have to live a long life to see everything.

Hyun Jin’s face turned beet red as he asked back. He thumped his chest like a gorilla, as if he had swallowed his food the wrong way.

“Sunbae, cough! Why do you joke around with such a serious face? I almost fell for it.”

“That’s right. Boyfriend.”

Seunghan, who had been quiet the whole time, drove the final nail in. Hyun Jin thought I was doing it on purpose to not give him any hope, but his expression changed moment by moment as we exchanged a subtle glance.

“Uh… really, for real?”

“We’re going to go abroad and register our marriage, Sunbae and I.”

“Hey. I haven’t agreed to that part yet. Don’t just slyly say it like it’s a fact.”

“Then were you planning to do it secretly with someone else, Sunbae?”

“Do what secretly? If I were to do it, of course I’d do it with you. But do you think it’s easy for two men to register their marriage abroad where we have no connections?”

I got excited and went on a passionate rant, then remembered Hyun Jin’s presence and gave an awkward laugh. Feeling unnecessarily embarrassed, I made a wrap and put it in his mouth too. I made it carelessly without looking, so it was too big, creating a situation that looked as if I were bullying my junior.

“Eat up, our Hyun Jin. Seeing you today, it looks like you’ve lost some muscle mass too. Have you checked your InBody recently?”

“Oof, pff!”

When there was no more space to put dishes on the table, Seo Seunghan stopped grilling and sat down next to me. Then, just as I had done a moment ago, he made a meat wrap and put it in my mouth. He took it a step further and tried to spoon-feed me some dongchimi broth. The way he did it with one arm wrapped around my waist, it was clearly for Hyun Jin to see.

“Ah, say ah, Sunbae.”

“Cut it out. One step further from here and we’re sleeping in separate rooms.”

“Wow… wow… see. My gut feeling was right. Hong Hyun Jin’s gaydar is still intact. It doesn’t need servicing just yet, I tell you.”

There were only three of us, but all three were just saying whatever they wanted. Would it have been different if Yeojun, whose social skills fall into the normal category, had been here?

No, I think I would have just received a relentless stare that said, “You guys are being ridiculous.”

Having regained his composure, Hyun Jin’s eyes sparkled as he looked at us.

“When did you two start having feelings for each other? Could it be since Seunghan hyung-nim came to the school to find you, Sunbae? No, wait, so was the multi-level marketing thing also flirting?”

Multi-level marketing flirting. My head spun at the combination of words I had never heard before in my life.