Kill Your X Chapter 96

Although he had passionately immersed himself in his studies, Seo Seunghan failed to reach the goal he had set for himself on the upcoming mock exam. He missed the grade cut-off in two subjects, each by a single question.

He glared at the test paper for a long time, as if it were an enemy he had to tear apart and kill. It was a good thing he wasn’t someone who usually cursed; an ordinary person would have spewed a stream of harsh words.

Feeling sorry for all the effort he had put in, I diligently sucked Seo Seunghan’s cock that night. From the halfway point, it became a bit ambiguous whether it was for him or to satisfy my own selfish desires, as I originally love sucking cock, but anyway, it was good. Smelling his body scent up close made my lust boil. I was quite horny, having not had proper sex for about three months.

He, too, seemed to have lost some of his reason. Swallowing his semen, I slyly tried to move on to the next stage. I figured he must have gotten the message about how much I wanted him to get into B University by now.

After taking his breath away with a deep kiss, I was about to align his menacingly erect dick with my hole when he stopped me.

“What’s wrong?”

“I haven’t reached my goal yet.”

“Ah… it’s okay, Seunghan. You did well enough. It’s really not easy to raise your scores that much in just three months. A lot of kids barely maintain their previous mock exam scores, or even do worse. Ugh!”

In an instant, my body was flipped over. I was stark naked, so my erect member was blatantly exposed. Despite having clearly seen mine, Seo Seunghan pulled the blanket over to cover my body. Then, he quickly got out of bed.

“Seunghan. Are you okay?”

“I’m sorry. I don’t think I can hold back any longer if I stay here,” he said, his body more than halfway hidden in the bathroom.

“You go to sleep first. I’ll have some time for self-reflection alone.”

A desperate voice escaped me without my realizing.

“You really don’t have to. I know how hard you’ve worked all this time.”

“A guy who got a level 3 in Korean doesn’t deserve to fuck you, Sunbae.”

Before I could retort, the bathroom door closed. Under the blanket, my painfully erect penis went half-limp. I was so dumbfounded I couldn’t speak.

Was he disappointed in himself because his scores were lower than expected, or did he genuinely want to do something to me after cleanly achieving his goal?

The lingering heat in my body was agonizing. I covered my face with both hands and writhed. Dating a student preparing for college entrance exams comes with sacrifices. I knew that when I started, but experiencing it firsthand was different.

Under the blanket, I put a finger in my hole, then quickly gave up. A wave of self-loathing washed over me.

✽✽✽

“The building you see ahead is the College of Liberal Arts. You’ve never been inside before, have you?”

“No.”

“It feels new, coming back after so long. Our lecture hall was far from the main gate, so I often had to run to not be late for class.”

We had returned to Korea for the first time in several years and were visiting my alma mater. Having been in a warm country for so long, I wasn’t used to the Korean winter weather.

I was heavily armed with a hat and a mask. It was partly because of the bitter cold, but also because I was still afraid of people’s stares. My body kept tensing up, worried that I might be subjected to unwanted attention out of the blue, just like what happened at a famous overseas tourist spot a few years ago.

But it was all for naught. The people we passed on the street were busy hurrying along with their hands shoved in their coat pockets. I felt a little relieved, and at the same time, it was a strange feeling. It made me realize that a lot of time had passed while I was holed up in my own world.

“You studied here too, right, Sunbae?”

Seo Seunghan subtly emphasized the title ‘Sunbae.’ I found it cute and let out a soft chuckle. I quickly shook off my distracting thoughts and answered.

“Yeah. Our departments were different, so we were mostly on different floors. Still, it’s fair to say you’re pretty much my direct junior.”

Seo Seunghan stared intently at the department building. I couldn’t tell what he was thinking, so I poked him in the side.

“So, how does it feel? Being a college student in your 30s.”

“I’m sure you’ll say something if you hear it, Sunbae.”

He was also wearing a mask, so his low voice was a bit muffled.

“What is it? I won’t, so just tell me what you think.”

“Now that I’ve actually gotten in… I don’t really feel like attending school.”

“Do you want to die?”

When I genuinely snapped, Seo Seunghan shrugged. It was a silent protest, asking why I was breaking my promise not to say anything.

After three attempts, Seo Seunghan became a freshman at B University. The hardship he endured during that time was unspeakable, but considering he was someone with absolutely no foundation in studying, it was a phenomenal achievement.

The proposal to hold penetrative sex hostage fell apart in less than six months due to our mutual lack of willpower. Still, it seemed to have been a great help for Seo Seunghan to get his act together. He would say that if a sex addict like me said so, that was all that needed to be said, and he would study fiercely.

On the day the final acceptance list was announced, after a whole three years, I finally learned about Seo Seunghan’s ultimate sex fantasy. Thinking back on it made me hang my head in vain.

‘Sunbae. Please wear this, just once.’

What he held out was none other than a dog collar.

At first, I thought he wanted to do bondage play, but Seo Seunghan didn’t even go that far. As soon as I put on the collar, he lightly tugged on the attached leash a few times and then quickly let go. His head tilted slightly from left to right, then right to left. An unreadable breath escaped from between his slightly parted lips.

‘Is that it? Nothing more?’

‘This feels strange. It’s much prettier than I imagined, though.’

He then actually tried to take the collar off. I instinctively backed away.

‘You used to choke me all the time before, why are you being so coy now?’

‘I still regret that.’

‘No need to. Since I’m already wearing it, you might as well do everything you want to do. That’s what makes it a reward.’

The hesitant Seo Seunghan, encouraged by my words, gradually began to reveal his desires without restraint. He had acted so indifferent, but had he really wanted to restrain me like this all along? The look on his face as he fiercely slammed his thing into me from below while pulling the leash was so hot that from the halfway point, I too lost my reason and surrendered my body to him.

After the storm had passed, Seo Seunghan removed the restraint from my neck. Then he tried to throw it in the trash can.

‘Why throw it away? It’s a waste.’

‘I don’t think I should use it a second time. It’s left a severe mark on your neck, Sunbae.’

He should have said that after fucking me a little more gently. He really knew how to say pretty things after shooting a load of cum inside me.

‘Then you can wear it instead. Give it here.’

As I sat up, a sticky liquid trickled down my thigh. Ignoring the ticklish sensation, I put the dog collar on him. I wrapped the leash around my hand and pulled, and his body was drawn towards me without resistance.

‘I think this suits you better than it suits me. What do you think?’

Our reflection was visible in the large mirror on the side. I could sort of understand why Seo Seunghan had made that strange expression earlier.

It was like willingly handing over control of your own body to the other person. I had tried even more extreme play before, but I never knew I could feel so aroused by a simple leash.

‘But Sunbae. Why do you seem so used to handling a leash?’

‘Huh?’

‘Have you, by any chance, done this with someone else before?’

Seo Seunghan narrowed his eyes and interrogated me. We were too close for me to lie, so I confessed honestly.

‘I’ve had a similar experience. I briefly met a partner at Jerome who liked this kind of play. Back then, it wasn’t just a dog collar like this, but something that wrapped around the entire upper body… Nngh!’

He bit my chin painfully. Seeing the dissatisfaction in his eyes, I hastily added an excuse.

‘Don’t worry about it. You’re better at it than he was.’

‘Better than he was…? You mean there’s someone else who turned you on more than I do, Sunbae?’

Seo Seunghan grabbed my shoulders and pushed me down. The leash connected to the dog collar brushed against my chest, tickling me.

‘Don’t be childish and pick at my words. The past is the past, why do you care so much?’

‘I’m not going to throw away the leash, just as you said, Sunbae.’

He unfastened the collar with one hand and then put the restraint back on me. The skin chafed by the leather stung annoyingly.

‘Your offer to let me do whatever I want is still valid, right?’

Unlike a moment ago, his grip on the leash was firm. It was a night I vowed to fix my habit of speaking without thinking.

“Sunbae, are you mad?”

He roused me from my thoughts. It was a big problem that this hulking man, who looked at me so cautiously after saying something so infuriating, was becoming more and more lovable by the day.

“Stop talking nonsense and just enjoy it. If you drop out or anything in the middle of it, I’ll make sure you can never use the title ‘Sunbae’ again.”

“Got it.”

“Congratulations on getting into B University, Seunghan.”

I squeezed his hand once and let go. The warmth seemed to have been conveyed through the leather glove.

We strolled leisurely across the campus. It was during the vacation period, so there were few people, and the cold weather made them hurry along, so we drew less attention. Breathing gradually became easier. Maybe people’s interest in me had really cooled down by now.

“Ah, this place is….”

Wandering aimlessly, we arrived in front of the central library. Memories blossomed everywhere my eyes landed on the surrounding facilities.

The school library has been a special place for me throughout my life. Whenever my father’s overbearing attitude, my mother’s subtle academic pressure, and the future decided without my consent suddenly became unbearable, I would always come here.

It wasn’t just the books; I loved the uniquely static atmosphere of the library. Here, no one forced me down a path I didn’t want. Even when I let my wild imagination run wild, I was simply free.

Some might find the long rows of bookshelves stifling, but since I was young, the spaces between them were the only place I could breathe. If I hadn’t had the sanctuary of the library, I probably would have become a much worse person than I am now.

It was only after I lost my job, half by choice and half by force, that I realized what a calling being a librarian had been for me. Not that I had the courage to start working again, though.

“I think we’ve seen enough. There’s a cafeteria over there, but it’s probably closed since it’s vacation time. Let’s go eat somewhere off-campus.”

“Sunbae.”

“Hm?”

He stopped me as I was about to turn away.