Love Born of Pity Chapter 111

Kwon Jiho let out a small, breathy laugh. Do Yeonjae scrunched his brow at the throbbing pain in his chest again. He didn’t know if it was because of the one-sided imprinting or because he was forcibly suppressing his rut, but he could actually feel pain whenever he thought of Kwon Jiho. The more frequent it became, the more severe the pain grew.

But just the fact that Kwon Jiho was sitting in front of him made it feel like nothing. He could just endure this much pain. Rather, he wanted to confirm that this moment, facing Kwon Jiho, was not a dream. He wanted to hear from those chapped lips that he was the one who had called him here.

An incredible fantasy continued in Do Yeonjae’s mind. Then, at the sound of Kwon Jiho’s soft breath, Do Yeonjae raised his gaze, which had been fixed on the area around his lips. He slowly began with the excuse he hadn’t been able to make yesterday.

“To continue what we were talking about yesterday, the reason I didn’t tell you anything, Mr. Kwon Jiho, was… not because it was something you didn’t need to know, but because I judged it to be information you didn’t necessarily have to know. I thought you’d find out naturally later on, since it wasn’t something I was going to decide on my own anyway.”

“How would I know? How could I when you wouldn’t tell me… Even now, I don’t know what you’re thinking… or what you’re feeling, Director.”

At Kwon Jiho’s reply, Do Yeonjae felt all the words he had prepared evaporate in an instant. He couldn’t remember anything he had planned to lay out without embellishment, even if he couldn’t say it eloquently. The moment he parted his lips, feeling anxious, Kwon Jiho’s words flowed out a step faster.

“…I felt like… you weren’t treating me… like a person.”

“What?”

“I didn’t really know at first, but I started to feel that way as time went on. Later… later, I felt like I had become a useless object that you’d bought for a high price. Just like you said, you bought it because it was pretty, but it didn’t fit in anywhere… so it was useless. The kind of thing you can’t bring yourself to throw away, so you hold onto it reluctantly.”

The thing he had agonized over the most while resolving to meet Do Yeonjae was whether the man truly liked him. In the early morning, the late afternoon, the deep of night, or while looking at the pale blue sky of dawn, he thought of Do Yeonjae.

If he hadn’t presented as an omega, if he hadn’t gotten pregnant, they would have gotten married as planned. Then, was the reason he was acting like this now a sense of responsibility, because he had no choice now that there was a child? Was there really any other reason to force a marriage with a partner he didn’t even like?

“I… liked you. The way everything became easy when I was in front of you… it was amazing, and it seemed so incredible. I think it might have been admiration. I was also envious of you, who was the opposite of me and my situation in every way… That’s why I was okay with it, even knowing our relationship wasn’t a normal one. Because I… liked you so much.”

Do Yeonjae, who was sitting in front of Kwon Jiho as he spoke to the end even while choking up, moved from his spot. His heart grew urgent at the past tense expression, “liked.” Without realizing it, he knelt on the floor and grabbed Kwon Jiho’s hand.

“Mr. Kwon Jiho.”

“But now, now I’m not so sure. Is this liking someone? I resent you, and I want you to hurt… as much as I have.”

Watching Kwon Jiho frankly confess his feelings, Do Yeonjae nodded his head. The hand he held trembled faintly. As Do Yeonjae bowed his head low and rested his forehead on it, a rambling voice continued.

“You said it back then. That if I were an omega, you wouldn’t have been interested. Then what about now…? What about now? Is it okay even if I’m an omega? Why did you tell me to have the baby…? You said you didn’t want it. So why did you change your mind? I thought you were getting married…”

“No. It’s not because of the baby. Everything I said back then was bullshit. They weren’t such important words that you should remember them and be upset like this.”

“…I don’t know if this is right. Back then, what you said… asking if I was trying to make a business deal with the baby… I still can’t forget it, it keeps coming to mind.”

Do Yeonjae swallowed a deep sigh at the tearful voice. He lifted his bowed head and laid out the thoughts that came to him incoherently.

“When you left me, all I could think about was blindly… finding you and bringing you back. Just, blindly. That I had to keep you by my side… my head was completely filled with just that.”

At his continuing voice, tears that had welled up in Kwon Jiho’s eyes streamed down his cheeks every time he blinked. He carefully reached out a hand to wipe the wetness from his cheeks and opened his mouth again.

“Even as I followed your traces, I was angry, without even knowing what I did wrong. It’s funny, but… I was angry. I was probably the reason you ran away, even hurting your own body at the hospital to do it, but I… I thought we were okay.”

“…Back then, I was not okay for a single moment.”

“That’s what I’m saying. You weren’t okay at all, and I didn’t know that. And the reason I didn’t tell you right away that I’d broken off the engagement when I brought you back was… because you were having such a hard time with the morning sickness, I was going to tell you when you felt even a little bit better.”

“Is it true you were really planning to tell me everything?”

Do Yeonjae nodded his head at the mumbled question. He wiped away the tears that flowed without cease and offered up an unfitting excuse.

“I was planning to tell you. It would have been better if I had told you when I went to pick you up.”

“…”

“…This time too, when I first heard that you’d followed my grandfather… I just got angry without even knowing what was in your heart when you went with him. They say people don’t change easily.”

His gaze lingered for a moment on the shoulders that flinched.

“Even then, I thought we were, finally, really okay. So when you left me again, I didn’t understand why on earth you left… That’s how it was. Your wound is still wide open, and here I am wronging you every single day.”

“…”

“Later on, I wanted to apologize just for the vague reason that I wanted to see you.”

For the first time, Do Yeonjae confessed his feelings honestly. He doubted it would help Kwon Jiho forgive him, but he felt that showing his inner self completely without hiding anything was the best course of action.

“It’s more accurate to say I didn’t know what I did wrong.”

“…”

“But I can fix it. If you tell me what I did wrong—”

“…Even if I tell you, will you understand, Director?”

He could tell instantly that this was what Kwon Jiho had sometimes said whenever he asked something. Ah, so this is how it feels. You crazy bastard. A curse flew out toward his past self. Do Yeonjae felt as if something hard had struck the back of his head with a bang. His mind flashed. Even in his panic, his mouth opened immediately.

“…I’ll realize it. If you tell me, I’ll never do it again. So… so give me a chance. No, I hope you’ll give me one. I’m not asking you to forgive me right away. I’m not asking you to just blindly accept me, what I mean is…”

“…”

“Let me stay by your side just until the baby is born. If you feel even then that I’m a hopeless case… I won’t be greedy for more. I’ll do whatever you want.”

Kwon Jiho’s eyes looked down. The light brown eyes stared intently at the cool and handsome face. His jawline had gotten sharper, as if he’d lost weight. The man who had always stood before him as if reigning over him was now sitting at his feet, looking at him with desperation. But even so, the arrogant atmosphere that hadn’t been erased was still there.

The words that he would come to realize it if he was told, even if he couldn’t apologize perfectly for his wrongdoing, somehow seemed just like Do Yeonjae.

“…So that I can apologize for all the things I did and the hurtful words I said…”

“…”

“Give me a chance to make up for it, please.”

“You are a really… selfish person, Director.”

It wasn’t an answer of agreement, but it wasn’t a refusal either, so Do Yeonjae was relieved. He unconsciously pulled Kwon Jiho’s knees into an embrace and took a deep breath. The rich, soft, and sweet body scent was incomparable to the one on the stolen pajamas.

He stayed like that for a long while, his face buried in his thighs, quietly, when the door was suddenly thrown open. It was obvious who had come, so Do Yeonjae didn’t even lift his head, and only Kwon Jiho was flustered. He hugged the twitching legs a little tighter, as if to say ‘don’t let go yet.’

“Tsk.”

As expected, his grandfather clicked his tongue as if displeased the moment he entered. At that sound, Do Yeonjae belatedly lifted his head and gave a slight bow.

“Coming here without even a greeting…!”

“You’re here.”

“Oh my, yes. You’re here, no—why are you crying? What did you say again to make the kid sob like this first thing in the morning? Huh? You bastard, the moment you get here, you’re hell-bent on tormenting him and eating him alive!”

At the thunderous scolding, Kwon Jiho waved his hands in panic. Unable to even stand up because he was being held, he made an excuse in a trembling voice, saying that wasn’t it.