Love Born of Pity Chapter 110

Pressing down gently on his trembling chest, he glanced over at the living room window where he had run into Kwon Jiho last night. He didn’t think he would be awake, but he had to check. Before opening the door, he paused for a moment and even sniffed himself again to make sure his body scent and pheromones were well under control.

He raised his loosely clenched fist and knocked on the door.

Knock, knock.

He listened to the heavy, reverberating sound and waited, but there was no sign of anyone inside, so he grabbed the doorknob. The door opened easily.

“…Mr. Kwon Jiho.”

As he strode into the house, Kwon Jiho’s body scent, which he had smelled over and over again until it faded, wafted out strongly. Do Yeonjae stopped in his tracks and took a deep breath, feeling the constantly taut thread of his nerves loosen. How could he give off such a good smell when he didn’t use any scented products whatsoever?

The scent of flowers subtly mixing into it was grating. Did I bring them for nothing after all? Do Yeonjae cleared his throat once, placed the bouquet on the table before passing the living room, and went further inside to open the firmly shut sliding door. He immediately saw a round shape on the bed. Kwon Jiho had the blanket pulled up over his head and was curled up like a caterpillar.

Do Yeonjae was about to call out to Kwon Jiho out of habit, but he closed his mouth and approached quietly. He sat on the edge of the bed and watched the peacefully sleeping face. His brow furrowed automatically at the sight of the sharpened jawline. His stomach churned at the thought that he looked even thinner today than yesterday. No matter how many times he saw them, he could never get used to the thinned limbs or the body that looked like it would break.

Because he was lying on his side instead of his back, his white forehead was fully exposed, and his hair, grown down to his eyebrows, spilled to one side. It was a serious problem that he looked beautiful even in his weakened state.

Even before he had realized he liked him, he had always found Kwon Jiho to be pretty. Now that he understood his feelings, it seemed Kwon Jiho would look newly beautiful every day, even if he were dressed in rags. Do Yeonjae pressed down hard on his hand that was about to move on its own and focused solely on watching.

Hush, hush.

As he was listening intently to the soft breathing and watching him for a long while, the tightly closed eyelids trembled. The long eyelashes fluttered like a wave, and soon Kwon Jiho opened his eyes.

The eyes that were slowly revealed were full of sleepiness. He blinked, as if not quite awake yet, and then as soon as he confirmed who was sitting in front of him, he shot up in surprise.

“Ah…!”

Because he had sat up so suddenly, Kwon Jiho swayed. His slender arm braced against the bed, but it couldn’t support his body firmly. Do Yeonjae caught the body as it slumped over and stared intently at the face colored with bewilderment.

“…Th-the, uh… when…”

Do Yeonjae was tormented by the impulse to pull the warm, toasty body, hot from just waking up, into a tight embrace. But the rational thought that he couldn’t do that unless he was crazy kicked in, and he forced himself to let Kwon Jiho go. He gently held the light body, pulled him up to lean against the headboard, and then sat perched on the edge of the bed.

“Just a little while ago.”

“…You could have woken me up…”

“I figured you’d wake up if I waited, so I waited.”

At the low, resounding voice and the direct gaze, Kwon Jiho nodded his head. More than that, I kind of want to wash up. He glanced furtively between Do Yeonjae and the space behind his back. He was worried his hair was probably flattened. As he ran his fingers through it, the man finally smiled.

“Go wash up. I’ll wait a little longer.”

“…Ah. Then… Yes.”

Do Yeonjae naturally supported Kwon Jiho, who was rubbing his eyes and trying to get up, and headed to the bathroom. Kwon Jiho stood in front of the sink in a daze. He left him with a quick “wait a moment” and moved quickly. Just as Kwon Jiho was feeling anxious, not knowing why he was told to wait, Do Yeonjae appeared with a familiar water bottle.

“Use this.”

Do Yeonjae placed it on the shelf, smiled awkwardly, and turned around. He left the bathroom after saying, “take your time and come out.” When he lifted his bowed head and looked in the mirror, his face, redder than before, was reflected starkly.

Kwon Jiho rubbed his flushed cheeks. The thought that Do Yeonjae had seen him like this made him feel upset and irritated for no reason. He knew he was a person whose actions were kinder than his words, but why… why was his face turning red? It’s so weird, really.

He turned on the cold water and splashed his face. It was enough to jolt him awake. The front of the pajamas he was wearing was instantly soaked. The damp fabric clinging to his skin sent a chill and faint goosebumps through him, but he couldn’t stop. Splash, splash. He was only washing his face, but it sounded like he was dousing himself with water. Maybe it would be better to just take a cold shower.

I don’t want to be swayed by this kind of handout-like kindness anymore.

As he was lost in thought for a moment, there was a sudden knock on the door.

“Kwon Jiho?”

“…Yes?”

“Are you really washing up? Can I open the door for a second?”

Do Yeonjae, who had been waiting outside the door, grew anxious, not knowing what the situation was inside the bathroom where he had only heard the sound of gushing water before it suddenly stopped. He knocked on the door again. His impatient heart made him act before permission to open was even granted.

Click, the door swung open. Kwon Jiho, standing in front of the sink with his entire face and chest soaked, looked at Do Yeonjae with a bewildered expression.

“Why…”

Before he could even ask “what’s wrong,” he was pulled into an embrace by Do Yeonjae, who had strode right in. He didn’t care that his neatly worn shirt was getting soaked as he repeatedly stroked the thin back with his large hand. Feeling the heartbeat transmitted through their pressed chests, Kwon Jiho, whose lips had been parting, clamped them shut.

“Hah… Haa, hoo…”

Anxiety rose up to his chin. The space of the bathroom itself felt horrifying. Separately from when he used it himself, from the moment Kwon Jiho went inside, he couldn’t even control his own breathing.

“…I washed my face. I just washed my face.”

“Why did you, why did you wash with such cold water?”

“Just… I was hot.”

Kwon Jiho answered as he gently pulled his body away from the embrace. Do Yeonjae easily backed off. However, he didn’t go completely out of the bathroom. He stood leaning against the doorframe, watching him wash up. He couldn’t ask why he wasn’t leaving. The anxiety he was feeling was transmitted to him in its entirety.

Do Yeonjae watched Kwon Jiho’s every movement as if to engrave them in his memory. The slow brushing of his teeth that scrubbed over his even set of teeth, the white foam smeared around his mouth, the gentle flush that spread only on his cheeks, the eyes that occasionally glanced at him in the mirror, even the way he moved the faucet toward the cold side before noticing him and adjusting it to a lukewarm temperature.

Separate from how pretty he was just to look at, his heart grew complicated watching Kwon Jiho’s actions, being mindful of him in even the smallest things. When he hesitantly approached, Do Yeonjae took a towel from the cabinet and handed it to him. Even in that situation, he said “thank you” and bowed his head slightly.

“Get changed and come out.”

“…Yes.”

Kwon Jiho went into the dressing room attached to the bedroom, changed into light and comfortable clothes, and came out holding his pajamas. Do Yeonjae’s eyes glinted. He internally chewed on a curse at the perverted thought of wanting to take them just like that. He felt a faint sense of self-loathing.

“I’ll take care of them.”

“…Huh? Ah.”

Kwon Jiho, who handed the pajamas to him as he held out his hand, scratched his cheek as if embarrassed. There had been countless times he had been scared of him, but this felt like the first time he was awkward from not knowing what to say.

Do Yeonjae went into the laundry room and quickly came back out. Kwon Jiho, who had been sitting on the sofa, awkwardly half-rose and started to speak to him.

“…By the way, have you eaten?”

“I was thinking of eating with Mr. Kwon Jiho when he does.”

“Ah… I, uhm…”

Although it was less severe than before, he was still suffering from morning sickness and could barely eat in the mornings. He had no appetite, and he had felt nauseous while brushing his teeth earlier, so he didn’t want to put anything in his mouth.

“Should we eat later? I don’t really have an appetite right now either.”

“…If that’s okay, then yes…”

Kwon Jiho nodded his head. His wet hair swayed in clumps. Noticing where his gaze had landed, Kwon Jiho smiled awkwardly and swept his hair back.

“How are your eyes and ears?”

“They’ve… gotten a lot better. It’s not perfectly clear, but it’s not like I can’t see like before. I’m taking the supplements, diligently. Because they’re important for the baby too.”

“…That’s a relief.”

The excuse he had come up with when there was no other way to get him to swallow the supplements was mentioning the child. It seemed that had made him take them religiously, even when he threw up everything he ate due to morning sickness. He realized that this too was selfish, but it was medicine Kwon Jiho desperately needed. To the point where it was a relief he was taking them, even like this.

Silence followed. Do Yeonjae kept his mouth shut, unsure how to begin his apology, and Kwon Jiho found the time alone with him so awkward that he wished someone, anyone, would come. He became desperate for the visit of the people who brought a bowl of fruit every morning.

Kwon Jiho’s eyes kept checking behind Do Yeonjae’s back. Giving up on the hope that maybe no one was coming, he let out a small sigh.

“…I don’t know what I should say.”

“I know exactly what I need to say, but it’s hard to bring it up.”

“…You’re better off than I am.”