Love Born of Pity Chapter 113

The first thing Do Yeonjae did after moving into the main family house was take Kwon Jiho to the hospital. Even though Kwon Jiho said he’d already had a regular checkup, Do Yeonjae was adamant.

He went into the examination room with Kwon Jiho, listened to the current condition, and checked the ultrasound together. In the time he hadn’t seen it, the baby had perfectly taken on a human form. It still boasted a fast, powerful heartbeat and moved its arms and legs actively.

“The fetus is growing well. You don’t need to worry.”

“He can’t eat well because of morning sickness, is that okay? It’s still severe.”

“There’s nothing to be done about morning sickness. I can’t tell you when it will disappear or when it will get better. As I’ve said before, it’s different for every expectant mother, so you must find what he can eat as best you can.”

The doctor, who had finished putting away the ultrasound machine, took out several warm wet towels and offered them to Do Yeonjae.

“Ah.”

“Well then, finish up and come out.”

The doctor left the ultrasound room first, leaving the two of them alone. Seeing Kwon Jiho’s hand awkwardly gripping the hem of his shirt, unable to cover his half-exposed belly, Do Yeonjae placed a warm towel on the belly that was slathered in gel.

“Is it hot?”

“…No.”

Do Yeonjae’s hand began to move slowly. It seemed like he might press too hard on the swollen belly if he made a mistake. He moved as carefully as possible without applying much force, and Kwon Jiho laughed with a sound like air escaping.

“…You haven’t wiped any of it off. You can wipe a little harder… I’ll just do it myself.”

Kwon Jiho reached out his hand as if to take the wet towel from Do Yeonjae.

“I’ll do it, so you just lie down. I was worried it would hurt if I used too much force.”

Do Yeonjae moved his hand again. He wiped away the gel a bit more skillfully than before. He meticulously checked to see if any had run down to the sides and repeatedly wiped with new towels.

“I think it’s fine now.”

Only when Kwon Jiho said it was fine did he finally take his hands away. It must feel damp. As soon as that worry hit him, he grabbed the hand that was about to pull the shirt down and wiped the belly one more time with a tissue. He himself didn’t seem to know it, but to Kwon Jiho, he seemed to be making a fuss.

“It’s really okay.”

“…Right.”

They went out to the examination room, received a brief explanation from the doctor about what to be careful of at the current gestational week, and left the hospital. Even as he was getting Kwon Jiho into the car, Do Yeonjae’s mind was filled with nothing but thoughts of a date.

Isn’t going out like this a date? Then should I ask him what he wants to eat? The morning sickness has subsided a bit… but I haven’t had him eat outside food, so I don’t know how it will be. Should we go for a drive before heading back? Should I ask if there’s anywhere he wants to go?

As he was thinking that, the inside of the car was excessively quiet. Turning the steering wheel, he checked the passenger seat to find Kwon Jiho had quickly fallen asleep. He was breathing softly, his expression relaxed as if even a short outing had been tiring. The thoughts that had been floating in his head until just a moment ago vanished completely.

Do Yeonjae, smiling unconsciously, began to drive very gently. If a horn honked nearby, he was busy glaring at it. He was worried that something might disturb Kwon Jiho’s sweet sleep.

Bothered by the way the small face kept dropping, he pulled over for a moment and reached out. He leaned Kwon Jiho’s head against the headrest and adjusted the seat angle. As it tilted back, Kwon Jiho, having found a more comfortable position, wiggled. The moment he gently stroked the warm, flushed cheek and pulled his hand away, he felt a sense of satisfaction fill him to the brim.

Everything was stable. Even a mundane moment like this had become special.

Do Yeonjae felt that everything became perfect by Kwon Jiho’s side. His anxiety flew away as if it had been washed clean, and only comfort remained in its place.

Are you the same? Will you ever be able to feel this way?

On one hand, he wanted to confirm it, but on the other, he also wanted to never bring it up.

♬⋆.˚

The plan to eat lunch out was canceled. Not wanting to disturb Kwon Jiho’s sweet sleep—he hadn’t woken up once all the way to the main house—Do Yeonjae waited for a long time. He leaned his body against the steering wheel and watched Kwon Jiho endlessly.

Perhaps he wasn’t even dreaming, as not a single small wrinkle formed on his beautiful face. He’s pretty even when he’s sleeping. Then again, he was pretty even when he cried, so what wouldn’t be pretty? Recalling the face he had liked so much that there were days he made him cry on purpose, Do Yeonjae now regretted that perverted behavior and frowned.

He hadn’t been in his right mind. While he had been that captivated, why didn’t he realize back then that he liked him? It was a shame. The time that had passed, irreversibly. He only now realized that every moment of the past had been wrong.

The scratches left on that small face, the bruises that spread everywhere from his careless grip, the eyes that were wet more days than not, and even the hand held out, asking to be held, that always trembled finely.

Now, it was his own hand that trembled as he reached for Kwon Jiho. He was afraid of being rejected. He was scared of being pushed away. And while he was being consumed by the worry of what he would do if Kwon Jiho was barely tolerating him even now, he was disgusted with himself for feeling comfort in being with him like this.

“…Jiho.”

As he softly called the gentle name that had no harsh consonants, the peacefully sleeping eyes trembled. The eyelashes fluttered as if he would wake up soon.

He hadn’t meant to wake him. It was both pitiful and endearing that he was trying to wake up right away at such a quiet call.

“…Ah.”

The closed eyelids slowly opened. The light brown eyes were full of sleepiness.

“Did we… arrive?”

His heart sank even at the voice, raspy from sleep. A sigh escaped Do Yeonjae’s lips. His large hand stopped in mid-air. Unable to touch him, he stared intently at the young face that had just woken from sleep, and then barely managed to utter the words he couldn’t convey.

“…It was all my fault. I’m sorry.”

“…”

“I realized too late that I wasn’t being good to you, but treating you carelessly. You’re not someone who deserves that, but I treated you as if you were.”

Do Yeonjae’s apology began like a confession.

“Saying I was helping you, I hurt you. What I mistook for giving was not kindness, but hypocrisy.”

“…”

“You were only twenty-one, Jiho.”

Could he be compensated for the young days when he was exploited in exchange for help? So many years that would never return had passed just like that.

“I was wrong. I don’t… have the decency to ask you to forgive me.”

Do Yeonjae smiled bitterly. Tears slowly welled up in the eyes that stared at him, unable to say a word. Every time Kwon Jiho blinked, his eyelashes and cheeks became soaked.

“Hic…”

The hand that had always hurt him gently cupped and stroked his face. Do Yeonjae’s eyes crinkled as he looked at him as if in pain.

“I’m not asking you to accept me because I’m repenting like this. I said I would abide by your decision. So… think about it slowly. It doesn’t matter if it takes years. Because I can wait.”

“…”

“…Can I hug you?”

At his inability to answer readily and his averted gaze, Do Yeonjae’s hand that was cupping his face pulled away. The moment the warmth left his cheek, he met the averted gaze again, and only then did a strong arm pull his shoulder into an embrace. His head naturally came to rest against him. It was a familiar embrace. Both the body heat and the scent. A large hand stroked down his back soothingly.

“I was going to ask what you wanted for lunch, but you were asleep, so I couldn’t wake you.”

“…I’m hungry.”

“Should we go out again? To eat what you want.”

“…I want to eat naengmyeon. A spicy one…”

At the quiet, tearful voice mixed with breath spreading near his shoulder, Do Yeonjae once again felt a tingling near his heart. He felt a pang. He frowned at the constricting pain, but unable to show it in front of Kwon Jiho, he relaxed his stiff expression and said they should.

He gently patted his back until the sorrowful breaths and trembling subsided, then let go of Kwon Jiho, who moved as if to pull away. He traced around Kwon Jiho’s eyes with his fingertips to check for wetness, then blindly sent a message to Chief Kim.

[Find a good naengmyeon restaurant near the main house and send me the address.]

[A spicy one.]

[Now.]

♬⋆.˚

Kwon Jiho finished the naengmyeon clean, as if he had no morning sickness at all. When told he could have more, he hesitated before shaking his head. Wiping his mouth, he said he wanted something sour and cold.

As they left the restaurant and Do Yeonjae got Kwon Jiho into the car, he wondered what could be sour and cold. His mind was filled with nothing but lemons and limes.

On the way back, they briefly stopped at a department store where he bought a thick cardigan for Kwon Jiho to wear, and then they stopped by a cafe he remembered for its unusual menu to get a lemon sherbet bingsu to-go.

“Are you tired?”

“Ah… No. That’s not it…”

Even though he said that, his eyes were red from holding back sleepiness. Do Yeonjae was about to suggest that it would be better to just sleep, but he held back, thinking it might sound like a command.

During the drive home, Kwon Jiho looked outside, and Do Yeonjae was lost in thought. While driving unimpeded on the empty midday road, he hoped that, separate from waiting for Kwon Jiho’s forgiveness, they could become close enough for him to hold his hand as he pleased.

He also felt that he was growing more anxious because an alpha’s pheromones were a threat to Kwon Jiho in his current state.