I’m Not Your Fated Guide, But… – Chapter 8.2 – #08 I have to do my best

Author: nicotine

Gye Joonmin had said that too. He said Uju hyung was sick and couldn’t stay awake for more than a few hours a day.

These moments, where Gye Joonmin’s words overlapped with my current reality, often occurred. It was fascinating and made me want to cry.

This was one of those moments.

I think I was sick for over half a day. Maybe even more than a day. My sense of time was dulled, so I couldn’t tell for sure.

I slowly opened my eyes. My gaze met Gye Joonmin’s, who was cooling my fever with a wet cloth. Instead of speaking to me, Gye Joonmin just smiled brightly.

Ah, something had changed. The atmosphere around you had changed. It was an invisible yet distinct change.

Your eyes, which used to wander unfocused, were staring intently at me today. They were filled with a sense of contentment, as if you had the whole world. You were indescribably lovely.

You resemble a spring flower. You were overflowing with vitality, like a flower in full bloom under the warm sunlight. It was also affection towards me, and a longing to be with me until the end of my life. Strangely, your feelings reached me as if I could hold them in my hands.

A premonition pierced my mind like lightning. Gye Joonmin, you are now…

In life, there are events that determine the direction of one’s life. Turning points, dramatic triggers, unforgettable memories… For me, it was my sister’s death and my first meeting with Gye Joonmin.

And now, such a moment had come for Gye Joonmin. Bonding.

Gye Joonmin had bonded with me now. Even though he hadn’t told me, I somehow knew.

‘Other Espers talk about Bonding like it’s some decisive event. But that wasn’t the case for me.’

Gye Joonmin’s words came back to me one by one.

He definitely wouldn’t know what Bonding was right now. But he had done it unconsciously.

You punk, you bonded with me without even knowing who I am? What if I was someone who approached you with ulterior motives? You’ll learn your lesson when you get scammed big time later. You have so much money, so you should be even more careful.

I felt like I was going to burst into tears. I reached out and hugged Gye Joonmin’s back. I wanted to hide my contorted expression.

If you hadn’t bonded with me now, would you have suffered less? Would you not have had to suffer searching for a Guide who doesn’t exist?

But I went back in time and met you. You saved me once again, and you bonded with me. It seems we’re fated to be like this. Then I should gladly accept it.

“Joonmin.”

It was the second time I called your name without your last name. The resonance on my tongue was infinitely sweet. So sweet that it stung my nose.

The first time was when you mistook me for Uju hyung. Back then, I pretended to be Uju hyung and called you Joonmin.

It seems I was destined to be your Uju hyung somehow. It’s really amazing, isn’t it?

I made eye contact with Gye Joonmin. Even though he couldn’t see, Gye Joonmin was staring at me with a steady gaze.

Gye Joonmin, you said Bonding was like an instinct for you? A natural act. You were right. I finally understood your words completely. Because the Bonding I do with you is also a natural act, like breathing. So this is what it was like.

The reason why I didn’t trigger a reaction in the Bonding compatibility test. It was because at that point, I wasn’t the Guide bonded to Gye Joonmin. It was the past for Gye Joonmin, but for me, it was a future that hadn’t arrived yet. Since I was unbonded, it was natural for the test to show an incompatibility result.

Gye Joonmin and Uju hyung were mutually bonded. All of Gye Joonmin’s readings pointed to that. Naturally, the Center and the government conducted a mutual Bonding compatibility test. If they had conducted the test as a one-sided bond, the results might have been different. No, since the conditions wouldn’t have matched, they probably would have dismissed it as an error.

A hollow laugh escaped me. How could things be so perfectly misaligned?

Gye Joonmin’s situation was slightly different from mine, with the distorted timeline. His Bonding must have continued, albeit in an incomplete form.

However, Gye Joonmin unconsciously couldn’t accept the fact that I was Uju hyung. It couldn’t be helped. If I were in Gye Joonmin’s shoes, I would have reacted the same way.

First of all, we were almost ten years apart in age. And I didn’t have the memories of the present back then. It was a situation where he couldn’t help but perceive Uju and me as completely different people.

When Gye Joonmin received Guiding from other Guides, a rejection reaction due to the Bonding would have actually occurred. That was correct.

On the other hand, it shouldn’t have occurred when I Guided him. In the case of a one-sided bond, there shouldn’t be a rejection reaction when receiving Guiding from the person they’re bonded to. That’s how it was in theory.

It seemed like Gye Joonmin unconsciously used his ability to cause the Guiding backlash. It must have been a reaction caused by the disconnect between his perception and his soul.

If he were a non-mental Esper, this symptom wouldn’t have occurred. But Gye Joonmin was a mental Esper who could directly interfere with the brain, and an S-class at that. It was entirely possible.

Gye Joonmin’s soul must have known that I was his bonded partner. The fact that his readings went down after the insertion Guiding, after he recognized me as Uju, was proof of that. As his soul and perception aligned for a moment, perhaps it canceled out the backlash created by his unconscious mind. I overlooked it at the time, but looking back, that seemed to be the case.

And the high compatibility rate that set a new record at the Center. Couldn’t this also be a trace of the Bonding?

Of course, it was all just my speculation, but it probably wasn’t far from the truth.

“Come here.”

At my call, Gye Joonmin came right next to me and sat down politely. I wrapped his bony hands in mine. Perhaps because his explosive growth spurt hadn’t come yet, his hands fit perfectly in mine. These small hands would become large enough to cover my face later on.

I quietly started Guiding. Because it was Bonding, and mutual Bonding at that, Guiding was several times easier. It was so smooth that I wondered if it was okay for it to be this easy.

For six years, I had only experienced Guiding accompanied by pain. So the power flowing smoothly felt unfamiliar. The pain that usually occurred at this point, scratching my nerves with the backlash, should be happening… It seemed like it would take some time to get used to.

I even felt a bit empty. It was this easy… We’ve really come a long way.

If we did a compatibility test now, wouldn’t it be higher than 92%? Then would we set another Center record? It was highly likely we’d be eating cake all day.

I buried my face in Gye Joonmin’s shoulder. Where there should have been firm trapezius muscles, there was only skin and bones. Even though I knew about his future as a walking door, I still felt sorry for him.

I felt sorry for making fun of him for having a physique that gained muscle just by breathing. Yes, with such a thin body, he should gain muscle easily. Even if he didn’t work out and just ate, I hoped he would gain weight and build muscle quickly. He should bulk up properly so he can beat up guys like Park Hyungtaek if they bother him, right?

“Does it… hurt?”

Gye Joonmin shook his head at my question. He shook his head so vigorously that I could feel the vibrations. This kid, so cute.

“It doesn’t hurt at all. How should I put it? It’s soft and refreshing, so I like it.”

I had heard the same thing before. Back then, Gye Joonmin said he quite liked my Guiding. It hurt, stung, and gave him goosebumps, but it was refreshing, so he liked it.

At times like this, I felt that fifteen-year-old Gye Joonmin and the Gye Joonmin I knew were the same person. Ah, why do I want to cry? Why do I keep tearing up?

It seemed like my tear ducts were seriously malfunctioning. I remembered the great bathroom disaster in the master bedroom. That crazy guy pulled out the faucet, turning the bathroom into a scene of chaos with water and screams… My tear ducts were probably in the same state as the bathroom that day.

“Oh, hyung, are you crying? Why? Are you the one who’s hurt?”

Gye Joonmin, flustered, checked my complexion. His eyes were wide open. They looked even bigger because he was so thin.

“No…”

Contrary to my words, Gye Joonmin’s shoulder became wet. I buried my face in the nape of Gye Joonmin’s neck and cried for a while.

I got another fever. This time, it didn’t go down easily. I was sick for several days.

The high fever felt like it was melting my brain. In my hazy consciousness, I kept thinking. What will happen to me?

Gye Joonmin would soon part ways with Uju hyung. This was the future given to me, and Gye Joonmin’s unchanging past.

Why did the two leave the hideout? It was a reckless choice. Outside, there were people from the Anti-Center group and Blood Worms roaming around. Meeting either of them was life-threatening. What was the reason they had to leave this place while taking such risks?

Gye Joonmin said that Uju hyung protected him so he could escape and got seriously injured. After that, his whereabouts became unknown.

There was no reason for Uju not to appear if he was alive, especially since Gye Joonmin wanted to see him so badly.

What if he was captured by the Anti-Center group? They would know about Gye Joonmin desperately searching for Uju, so they would have used Uju to threaten him or as a bargaining chip. But there was no such movement. Not once in nine years.

Furthermore, the severance point Oh Suyeon had mentioned was approaching. I couldn’t tell the exact date, but I was sure it wasn’t far off.

Perhaps I already knew the answer. Why Uju couldn’t appear, and what severance truly meant…

Now, it was difficult to even stay awake for a short time. It was closer to losing consciousness than falling asleep. My body was slowly dying. I knew that better than anyone. I wouldn’t last much longer.

Just like Gye Joonmin said last time, I might get better if I received proper treatment. If I could go to a hospital or get help from a healing Esper, the situation would be different.

To do that, I had to get out of this gate first. What were the chances of escaping safely while avoiding the Anti-Center group? The odds were abysmal.

Moreover, I was just a burden. It would be fortunate if I didn’t hold Gye Joonmin back.

No matter how hard I racked my brain, I couldn’t come up with a solution. Any assumption I made always led to a negative conclusion.

I was just lost. It felt suffocating, like I was trapped in a place with no way out.

Gye Joonmin, you told me to change our fate. I also resolved to overcome it. Back then, I thought everything would work out if I tried. I really thought it was possible…

But I guess what can’t be done can’t be done. Can’t an unchanging future be changed after all?

I looked at Gye Joonmin, who was diligently soaking dry food blocks in water.

What if I told you that I was Won Yoogyeol? Even if the future became tangled, would you suffer less?

I quickly pulled myself together. No, I can’t do that. Absolutely not.

If you knew that the Uju you’ve been searching for so long was me, if you realized that you couldn’t recognize me even though I was right next to you… When I leave now… you, you would be too pitiful.

So I will never tell you. I hope you can live on without knowing. That way, your remaining time would be less painful.

I felt sorry for you, who would have to live without me. Fifteen-year-old you spent difficult days after parting with Uju. I know it well because I’ve watched over you. That’s why I can’t tell you even more.

Twenty-four-year-old you wouldn’t be any different. Are you still searching for me in pain? You might even be crying while blaming yourself. That shouldn’t happen. Although you look pretty when you cry, I still don’t like it when you cry.

Who knew it could be this dark right under the lamp? The tangled relationship, the misaligned time, felt so cruel.

“Hyung! Are you feeling a bit better?”

Gye Joonmin came running as soon as he saw me. His eyes were filled with worry and anxiety. The dark circles under his eyes showed that he hadn’t been sleeping well because of me. It seemed like he hadn’t slept properly for days.

Oh dear, I’m making you, a young child, suffer because of me. I felt so ashamed.

“Joonmin.”

I carefully hugged his shoulders. His body, devoid of any flesh, felt pitiful.

It’s okay. Everything will be okay now. You’ll get out of here, become an S-class Esper, and reunite with your family. You’ll grow tall, up to 192cm, and your shoulders will become as wide as an eight-lane road. You’ll even rake in money.

And you’ll meet a Guide your age, and your face will be constantly bruised from fighting so much with him. Do you think that’s the end? You’ll fight at a government event, and the whole nation will see it. I still get frustrated thinking about the K-Guiding comments, seriously. And because of that incident, we’ll even be forced to live together. It’s really chaotic, isn’t it?

“Hyung. Wait, wait a minute! Stop it. You’re not feeling well right now. Don’t do it. Okay?”

When I started Guiding, Gye Joonmin was startled and tried to stop me. I hugged him tightly as he struggled, saying no.

You’ll live on, cherishing these moments. It made me feel sorry and grateful at the same time.

I love you. My friend, my partner, my roommate.

Thanks to you, I survived and found a reason to live.

Now, I’ll save you. It’s my turn. I’m not one to be indebted to others. Paying back tenfold what I receive is my life motto.

So I’ll return to you as much as you gave me. Ah, I should even add interest. The interest accumulated over the years must be quite a bit, right? Man, my back is going to break paying this back.

Gye Joonmin, I will definitely save you. I’ll help you get out of here.

That must be why I came here, right? Then I should do my best. Until the very end.

☁️

I thought I dozed off for a moment, but it must have been more than that. When I opened my eyes, Gye Joonmin was hugging me and sobbing. He was crying so pitifully, tears streaming down his face like chicken droppings…

I tried to wipe Gye Joonmin’s tears, but even a simple act like raising my arm was difficult. It seemed like my muscles had atrophied significantly since I hadn’t been awake for a while.

“Hyung, I really thought you wouldn’t wake up again…”

“It’s… okay…”

Gye Joonmin started crying again. I thought he cried quite a bit, but there were signs of it even when he was young.

I squeezed out my remaining strength to comfort Gye Joonmin. Since he seemed anxious, I had to use every possible means to let him know I was okay.

I even forced myself to eat all the dry food blocks to reassure Gye Joonmin. Actually, it was incredibly difficult. My throat was throbbing, and my stomach was churning. Even swallowing one spoonful was a struggle. If Gye Joonmin hadn’t been crying, I probably would have given up halfway.

“Hyung, do you want to eat more?”

“No…”

“I got a lot of dry food blocks and water this time. So you can eat as much as you want.”

Food and water were distributed once a week. The amount was fixed. We couldn’t get more even if we asked. But he said he got a lot?

“How?”

“I have the best performance. I worked hard this time because I didn’t like you being hungry.”

What did it mean to have good performance and work hard? It meant he collected more Blood Worm fluids or eggs. I didn’t want Gye Joonmin to risk his life for me.

“You… shouldn’t… do that…”

There was no reply saying he wouldn’t. Instead, I was met with a mischievous smile. He clearly had no intention of listening to me. He was as stubborn as ever.

“It’s really okay. Ah, right, hyung, try eating this.”

Gye Joonmin handed me something. It was a can of tuna.

It was the same canned tuna we received as gifts every holiday, much to our annoyance. Once, we received five canned tuna gift sets at the same time during Chuseok. What could we do? We had to eat them all.

So we just ate them straight from the can, or made stew or stir-fried them with it. But despite our desperate efforts, no matter how much we ate, it didn’t seem to decrease.

In the end, I was the one who gave up first. For a while after that, I suffered from a condition where I would convulse just from seeing the letter ‘ㅊ’ [first letter of 참치, tuna].

Unlike me, Gye Joonmin never complained. Even when tuna was on the table for ten days straight, he ate it without a word. I was a bit surprised back then. I wondered why the picky guy wasn’t complaining… Thinking about it now, was it because of this?

The expiration date on the canned tuna had long passed. But it was still something to be grateful for, as it was hard to come by. It was common outside, but it was different here. It wasn’t something you could obtain through normal means.

As I just stared at it, unable to bring myself to accept it, Gye Joonmin quickly opened the can. Perhaps because it was old, a rancid smell wafted up.

“You know the biggest Blood Worm I brought in before? I raided its nest. Since it was so big, it had several times more fluid.”

Gye Joonmin spoke as if it was nothing. But could it really be nothing?

Blood Worms were A-class monsters. Even encountering a small one, less than 50cm in diameter, was life-threatening. It might have been different if he had fully manifested as an Esper, but Gye Joonmin was no different from an ordinary person right now.

“I told them I would double the offering, so I asked for double the food. I got this from one of the lower-ranking guys in exchange for eggshells.”

Gye Joonmin pointed at the canned tuna with a proud smile. I suddenly noticed a long scar that extended from the back of his hand to his elbow. It hadn’t healed yet and was covered in a scab.

“This… is…”

As I touched around the scar, Gye Joonmin quickly pulled his hand back.

I asked him several times what had happened. He, who usually chattered non-stop, kept his mouth shut like a clam. Trying to coax him was useless. He was so stubborn that there was nothing I could do.

After a long struggle, Gye Joonmin reluctantly opened his mouth.

“Ah, it’s nothing. I just got a little scratch.”

It was a pretty deep wound to be just a scratch. He seemed to have been injured while trying to collect fluids or eggs.

“No.”

“It’s okay. It doesn’t hurt at all.”

“It’s… dangerous…”

When I kept saying no, Gye Joonmin became visibly dejected. He mumbled with a sullen expression.

“Dry food blocks taste bad… I wanted to give you something tasty.”

Gye Joonmin grumbled. He pouted and tapped the floor with his toes. But what couldn’t be done couldn’t be done.

I repeatedly drew X’s on Gye Joonmin’s palm. After I did it more than ten times, Gye Joonmin shuddered.

“Okay, okay. I won’t do it again. I won’t do it, so stop it.”

I patted his head as a sign of approval. Then, as if he had never sulked, he smiled and rubbed his head against my hand.

Since the can was already open, we decided to share the tuna. Honestly, it didn’t taste good. It was dry and fishy. But I ate it as if it were the most delicious thing in the world.

After a long time of eating oily food, my stomach churned. But I ignored it. He had worked hard to get this, so I had to eat it diligently and digest it well.

After finishing our feast, we leaned against the wall side by side. Perhaps thanks to the oil lubricating my throat, my throat condition wasn’t bad today.

I couldn’t miss this opportunity. I had to tell Gye Joonmin about the structure of this gate.

“Joonmin.”

“Yes?”

“This gate… it looks… complicated… but…”

I relayed the information high-school graduate Gye Joonmin had told me to middle-school graduate Gye Joonmin. Since there were no coordinate markings here, it was only a half-baked explanation, but it would still be better than nothing.

Actually, I still didn’t understand the stuff about fractals. To be honest, it was closer to just copying and pasting what I had heard. I’m glad I have a good memory.

But he’s smart, so he’ll understand. Didn’t Damin understand it right away? The Gye family must all be smart.

Ha, our ancestors should reflect on themselves. I wish they had learned from Gye Joonmin’s ancestors.

Gye Joonmin listened attentively to my explanation. He was definitely different from me, who just nodded blindly without understanding. He even asked me questions from time to time. I broke out in a cold sweat from the surprise.

Fortunately, it wasn’t something I didn’t know at all. I managed to answer somehow and get through it. I secretly sighed in relief. Phew, that was close.

It’s okay. I didn’t reveal my ignorance to young Gye Joonmin. Not yet…

In this way, I barely managed to preserve the dignity of Won Yoogyeol, no, Uju hyung.

As the explanation was nearing its end, a harsh cough burst out. My airway tightened, making it difficult to breathe.

“Hyung, are you okay?”

I needed to say I was okay, but the coughing wouldn’t stop. Physiological tears welled up in my eyes. Gye Joonmin paced anxiously around me.

That’s when it happened. I heard ominous voices from the passage.

“Hey, are you sure? He’s hiding something?”

“Really?”

“How else could he suddenly bring back double the amount?”

“We’ll find out if we search him.”

“Ah, it was somewhere around here.”

“You idiot, you can’t even remember this properly?”

Judging from the conversation, they seemed to be from the Anti-Center group.

It was too late to run. There was only one exit. Unfamiliar shadows flickered in the passage. There weren’t just one or two. It wouldn’t be good to encounter them now.

I gritted my teeth and sat up. I grabbed Gye Joonmin’s arm and hid him behind my back.

Soon, three men entered, whispering amongst themselves.

“He must have hidden it here… Wait.”

The man in front stopped when he saw us. The others stopped as well.

Two of them pointed at me almost simultaneously. They were the ones who were chasing me earlier. This was bad.

“H… h… hey, that’s him! The guy with the Center combat uniform!”

“What? I heard he burned to death while running away!”

“I don’t know. How is he alive?”

“Forget that, just catch him!”

The three men rushed towards us. I didn’t even have time to react. I shielded Gye Joonmin with my body to protect him.

At that moment, something strange happened. The men who were about to attack us stopped moving. It was as if an invisible force was holding them in midair.

I hurriedly looked down. Gye Joonmin was standing there, his face pale. His body was trembling slightly, and sweat was pouring down like rain. Judging by his condition, he seemed to have used his ability.

The ability didn’t last long. The force suppressing the men quickly dissipated.

If it were the Gye Joonmin I knew, he would have easily subdued the three men. It would have been a simple task for twenty-four-year-old Gye Joonmin.

But not for fifteen-year-old Gye Joonmin. He hadn’t fully manifested yet, so there were many limitations. It was remarkable that he was able to use his ability even for this brief moment.

“Crazy, that bastard’s an Esper! He just used his ability!”

“Quickly report it to the higher-ups!”

Fortunately, they didn’t try to catch us. Judging by their panicked reactions as they ran away, it seemed like none of the three were Espers.

But I couldn’t relax. It was a dangerous situation.

They had discovered that Gye Joonmin was an Esper. Ji Sunjae would soon hear about it. He would also soon find out that he’s a mental Esper.

Both Gye Joonmin and Ji Sunjae were S-class mental Espers. Their powers were comparable, but Gye Joonmin was said to have a slight edge. But that was only when Gye Joonmin had fully manifested.

What if he was captured in this incompletely manifested state and taken to Ji Sunjae? There was a high probability he would be brainwashed. Ji Sunjae was capable of that.

What would happen next was too horrible to imagine. I had to stop it at all costs.

It was dangerous to go outside the hideout. Was this the reason why the two of them had to escape despite the risk? Everything became clear.

Perhaps today was that day. No, I was certain.

Then there was only one thing I had to do now.

“Joonmin.”

“Hyung, what should we do? What should we do…”

Gye Joonmin was terrified. I patted his shoulder reassuringly and took his hand.

“Let’s… run…”

I took Gye Joonmin and left the hideout.

It was strange. My body didn’t hurt at all. After I was burned, I could barely move my arms and legs properly, but not now. The burned areas oozing pus, the swollen airway, the lungs that always felt tight, none of it bothered me. Everything was fine.

My body felt as light as when I was in the middle of training. I didn’t know where this overflowing strength came from. My heart swelled with an inexplicable sense of exhilaration. I felt like I could do anything.

We ran without rest along the winding path.

I remembered the times when Gye Joonmin and I ran side by side on the park track in front of the official residence. No matter how much I begged him to run one more lap, he was adamant. He would grumble in a sullen voice, asking how that could even be considered a walk. He called me weak.

Now, however, it was completely different. Gye Joonmin was holding my hand and diligently following me. I felt like he would run ten laps around the track with me now.

To get to the exit, we had to pass through the common area. It was the biggest obstacle, as there was no cover.

Fortunately, there were only about six people from the Anti-Center group in the common area. The rest seemed to have been mobilized to search for Gye Joonmin.

We crossed the common area while the people were distracted. Fortunately, we weren’t discovered.

At some point, Gye Joonmin naturally took the lead. He chose the paths at intersections without hesitation. It seemed like he understood and was applying what I had told him about the gate’s structure. He was really smart.

We were getting closer to the exit. But I couldn’t relax just yet. I knew the future, the reality that would soon befall us. Now…

“There! There he is!”

“Catch him!”

People from the Anti-Center group came rushing in. There were eight of them.

Gye Joonmin stepped forward as if to protect me. Then their movements stopped.

It was an incomplete ability. It wouldn’t last long. Moreover, he had to control more people than before. We were at a disadvantage in many ways.

At that moment, someone rushed at us from behind, or more precisely, at Gye Joonmin. It seemed like he was the lucky one who had escaped the range of the ability. A black blade sliced through the air amidst the dim light of the luminous stones. It was a military knife.

The self-defense techniques I had learned flashed through my mind. Though they were called self-defense techniques, it was almost impossible to subdue an armed opponent barehanded.

So running away was the answer. I knew it in my head, but my body moved first. How could I run away and leave you behind?

I shielded Gye Joonmin’s back with my body. A sharp pain pierced my abdomen.

“Hyung!”

Gye Joonmin looked back at me. At the same time, the men began to collapse one by one. The man who attacked us also lost consciousness and fell to the floor.

I pressed my hand against my lower abdomen. Blood oozed between my fingers. It was excruciatingly painful, but I desperately suppressed a scream.

“It’s… okay.”

Gye Joonmin’s other senses were highly developed to compensate for his lack of sight. There was no way he wouldn’t smell the blood.

Gye Joonmin stumbled as he approached me. I hurriedly grabbed his shoulders to support him.

I quickly checked Gye Joonmin’s condition. His whole body was drenched in sweat, and his face was pale, almost blue. His limbs were convulsing rhythmically.

He was at his limit. If he used his ability any further, his body and mind would suffer. In the worst case, he might lose control. He couldn’t rely on his ability anymore.

I could hear the sound of people running from the passage. It wasn’t just from one or two directions.

My condition wasn’t good either. I was losing a lot of blood. The blood flowing from my abdomen had already soaked my pants leg.

In this state, I wouldn’t be able to run, let alone walk. I would definitely be caught before long. Going together would only be a hindrance.

Then I had to make sure Gye Joonmin escaped.

I searched my memories. What did Uju say back then?

“I’ll… buy you some time.”

Yes, he said that.

“No. I won’t go alone. I won’t go, even if I die.”

Gye Joonmin shook his head tearfully. He seemed determined not to leave me alone.

But I had to send him away.

This would probably be our last time together. The time to part had come.

I know how much you will suffer in the future. Uju hyung will disappear without a trace, and you’ll wander in longing and despair for a long time.

Even so, I wanted to save you like this. I wanted you to live.

I squeezed out my remaining strength and spoke with difficulty.

“There will be… people from the Center… nearby… Go ask for help…”

“You’re lying, aren’t you? I know you’re just trying to make me run away.”

Gye Joonmin didn’t believe me. He seemed to think I was making it up to make him leave. But it wasn’t a lie.

Gye Joonmin would soon be rescued by the Center. That was the predetermined future.

“No… People from the Center… will come… to rescue… soon. Bring them… with you…”

“Really?”

Gye Joonmin seemed to read the sincerity in my confident voice. I pushed his back, urging him to go.

“Go. I’ll… wait…”

“I’ll be right back, Uju hyung. Hold on.”

Gye Joonmin ran off, tears in his eyes. When his back was out of sight, I collapsed on the floor. As the tension drained from my body, my vision blurred.

I had done everything I needed to do. Yes, that was enough.

I blinked, looking in the direction Gye Joonmin had run. I recalled the last image of him I had seen. His pale complexion, his small shoulders, his thin arms and legs.

It’s really a relief, Gye Joonmin. That I know how you’ll grow up, what you’ll become. Right?

That’s why I could feel relieved despite my worry. I could let you go without despair.

It’s okay. Everything will be okay. So, now you just have to be happy. You deserve it.

The bleeding showed no signs of stopping. Blood quickly pooled on the floor. I could feel my heart pounding wildly.

My senses gradually dulled. At some point, even the pain faded. I just felt a little cold. Drowsiness slowly crept in.

The reason why Gye Joonmin couldn’t find Uju despite all his efforts, I now understood clearly. Uju dies here.

Gye Joonmin and I would never meet again. Our connection ended here.

Today was the three-month mark Oh Suyeon had mentioned. Severance, my death, was imminent.

My eyes kept closing. I probably wouldn’t last much longer. If I received treatment now, things might be different, but I knew it was impossible.

Gye Joonmin would spend many long days in tears. He would search for Uju hyung, who didn’t exist in this world.

Our timelines were so completely twisted that we couldn’t even recognize each other when we were together. Even though we walked the same present side by side, we never knew. To twenty-four-year-old Gye Joonmin, I was the past, and to me, fifteen-year-old Gye Joonmin was the future.

Would our relationship have been better if we had known? I couldn’t guarantee that we wouldn’t have fought, but maybe we would have fought a little less.

Gye Joonmin would have forgiven Uju hyung even if he squeezed the toothpaste tube from the middle. He would have worn the bathroom slippers without complaint even if I bought him the ones with holes. If I had suggested ordering jokbal instead of bossam, he would have agreed right away, right? Ah, this makes me feel a little resentful.

I wanted to tell him not to live his life like that, but it would be difficult. Because we would… never meet again.

We were destined to miss each other until the very end. That fact was a little sad.

Gye Joonmin told me to change our fate. He said there are always exceptions in the world, that even fate can go awry.

Gye Joonmin, but you see… the world isn’t as easy as you think. I guess those things aren’t easy to change. It can’t be helped. Right?

But it was okay. I was the one who wanted to make Gye Joonmin happy, and I was the one who l… l… loved him. Isn’t this really wonderful? It’s like fate.

Gye Joonmin would remember me by the name Uju, the name he gave me. And he would also remember Won Yoogyeol, the one he l… l… loved.

So it’s okay. Because I could live on in his memories.

I protected young Gye Joonmin. I should be content with that. I had no regrets, even if I died now.

But, but just once, if I could just see you as you are now, just once before I die.

Even for a brief moment, it would be enough. If I could just see you again…

This time, I wouldn’t keep you waiting. I would tell you without hesitation. That I like you. That you’re my everything.

I heard the sound of people approaching from all directions.

“Fuck! Here! He’s here!”

“Just grab him!”

“What, he’s about to die anyway?”

The noise surrounding me gradually faded away. Darkness slowly enveloped my vision.

Suddenly, someone placed their hand on my forehead. The gentle stroking touch was infinitely tender. Something caught on their fingertips as they touched my forehead. The surface was smooth, and the edges were slightly rough. A bandage.

Someone’s grumbling pierced through my fading consciousness.

“No regrets, my ass. Will that do? I knew it when you stingily ordered ganjjajang, seriously.”

A familiar voice, a familiar way of speaking, this is…

“Noona…?”

I opened my eyes with difficulty. I could see the people who were running towards me collapsing one by one. Soon, silence fell over my surroundings.

That voice just now, it was definitely Noona Yooyoung. It was definitely not a mistake or a hallucination.

I felt a sense of déjà vu. I remembered the time I was buried under the supermarket building. Back then too, like this, Noona, our Noona Yooyoung…

I barely managed to pull myself together. I squeezed out my last remaining strength and sat up. My head spun, and my stomach churned due to dizziness.

I wanted to hear Noona’s voice again. I desperately tried to stay conscious.

Maybe Noona will talk to me again. So hold on. You have to hold on.

My limbs trembled, and my mouth was dry with thirst. My vision kept blurring and clearing. I blinked and tried to focus.

A longing stirred within me. I actually…

As I relaxed for a moment, my neck slumped, and my limbs gave way. I couldn’t support my exhausted body. I was truly at my limit.

Right before my head hit the floor, someone caught my face. It was a white, slender hand.

I knew the owner of this hand.

“Won Yoogyeol, come on. Wake up.”

Rapid breaths, as if they had just sprinted, mixed with their words. It was a familiar voice, a voice I loved so much.

Ah…

I slowly raised my head. As expected, it was Gye Joonmin. And it was twenty-four-year-old Gye Joonmin, the same age as me.

Tears streamed down my cheeks.