A Perfectly Normal Romance Chapter 3.1 - I Really Hate You

I opened my eyes to an unfamiliar ceiling. No, actually, it wasn’t entirely unfamiliar. Could I say it was familiar? Anyway, I blinked my heavy eyelids a few times, my body feeling equally heavy. Still, I felt relieved that I was at least in a room, and not on the street or in some holding cell. And the fact that this ceiling looked incredibly similar to the one in Hyun’s house, which I’d happened to see on social media, filled me with a sense of dread about what was to come.

I stared at the round auxiliary lights embedded around the edge of the ceiling, then glanced at the clock on the wall below them.

11:21 AM.

As I registered the time, a searing thirst gripped my parched throat. I tried to turn on my side to get up, but this time it felt like my shoulder was tearing apart. I struggled to roll over again and put my feet on the floor.

“Ah. Fucking hell, this hurts.”

A crude curse slipped out, thankfully unheard by anyone. My whole body ached as if I’d been thoroughly beaten. In the midst of all that, one of my shoulder blades throbbed as if it would rip apart. I tried to rotate it once but winced and gave up.

The table across from the bed was glass. A document lay haphazardly on top, covered with a mess of numbers and graphs. The last memory of last night surfaced, and I squeezed my eyes shut. This is seriously dizzying. Why did he bring me here? He could have just left me lying there to sleep, since he couldn’t stand the sight of me.

I stared at the jet-black door. Was opening it and walking out the only way to escape this house? Was there any other way? Of course not. There’s no way.

Eventually, I hesitated, then pushed open the silently opening door and stepped out. Beyond the room was the living room. A huge sofa, which looked like several beds pushed together, was placed diagonally in the center of the spacious living room. Several art posters hung on the gray wall behind it. I walked closer to take a better look at the posters framed in black. Famous works from art museums and galleries were displayed in vivid colors.

After taking in the diverse colors, I turned my attention to the books casually stacked beside the sofa. Then I looked around. The overall feel was dark, but ample sunlight streamed in through the wide folding doors. I could see leaves swaying on the trees that peeked over the railing of the spacious terrace.

Lost in thought, I sensed someone’s presence inside. As I slowly approached, two people came into view. The monochrome kitchen had a gray floor. I saw Hyun’s broad back, clad in comfortable loungewear, and then my eyes met Geonjung’s, who was sitting at the dining table facing me. Geonjung seemed to be just getting up.

“You’re awake?”

“Yeah. Why are you here?”

“Hyun had something to drop off for me.”

“Ah…”

I had nothing to say if Geonjung asked me the same question, so why did I even ask? As if the conversation was already over, Geonjung clicked his tongue and chided me.

“I heard you passed out drunk. You should know your limits. We’re not twenty anymore.”

Know your limits… Those words stung. Hyun, who had gotten up, glanced at my state and walked past. Didn’t we both empty our glasses at a similar pace? I even poured less for myself, so why was he so fine? I squeezed my eyes shut and opened them again. Fuck. This is embarrassing. In the meantime, they must have eaten something; two bowls with reddish broth stains sat on the dining table.

Geonjung, clearing away one of the bowls, said nonchalantly,

“I was running around getting hangover cures and hangover soup because of you since early morning.”

“You bought them?”

“Yeah.”

“Thanks.”

At least I didn’t hear anything else. I was grateful for his friendship, running errands for hangover soup and whatnot despite having work in the morning. I raised my arm for a high five, but it hurt like hell, so I flinched and backed away.

“I’m going to wash up.”

Entering the bathroom and looking in the mirror, the first thing I noticed was my bird’s nest hair. I absently tried to smooth it down, but winced again. Damn. What’s wrong with my shoulder? Okay. Let’s think calmly. Why does my shoulder hurt like this?

Yesterday, I strained myself trying to pull my arm away from Hyun’s grip and then collapsed… Did I hit it then? Which arm was grabbed, and which side did I fall on? I tried to recall by turning my body from side to side, but it was no use. Maybe I hit my head too, which is why my memory is like this. A reasonable suspicion.

I moved closer to the mirror and carefully examined my face. Swollen and puffy, a total mess. Especially my eyes, they looked puffy. My pride must have been crushed and bruised yesterday too. I grabbed my hair with my good arm and silently screamed. Fuck. This is so embarrassing!

It’s okay, it’s over now. I fumbled with my working arm and opened the cabinet. This house, like its owner, seemed intent on going its own way; there wasn’t even a spare toothbrush. Inconsiderate house. After washing my face, a task achievable solely through repetitive, meaningless movements, and gargling, I started to think.

Let’s really not see each other again. If I don’t see him anymore, my heart won’t be in turmoil, and I won’t have to see Hyun looking unnecessarily sexy despite being exhausted from overtime.

But still, him looking tired worries me. Does he still have trouble sleeping?

Lost in such useless thoughts, I spat out the mouthful of foam. Stupid Shin Jio, still not getting it. Just go die with your face in the sink.

I crept out, and as I stood frozen in the middle of the kitchen, Hyun walked past me again and sat at the dining table. Geonjung handed him one of the hangover cures that had been on the table. He then seemed to offer a small bottle to me too.

“Drink this.”

He tossed it over. I instinctively raised my right hand but flinched. The hangover cure hit me and fell to the floor. It rolled with a clattering sound against the marble floor. Geonjung looked at me strangely, and Hyun turned to look at me too. I stammered,

“I think I dislocated my arm.”

“Where?”

“My right shoulder. I can’t move it.”

I didn’t know if it was because Hyun had ruthlessly twisted my arm yesterday, or if I’d thrashed around and fallen on it, but anyway. Geonjung sighed, a “huh,” and seemed about to say something, but then,

“Let’s go to the hospital.”

Hyun abruptly stood up and grabbed his car keys, which were on top of a dark display cabinet next to me.

˙✧˖🎥⋆˙

“Geonjung, ah.”

“Your left hand is fine.”

“It’s far. Hurry up.”

After returning from the hospital examination, Geonjung was already sitting in a chair, holding a plastic bag. Hyun had gone to pay, and I was sitting next to Geonjung, messing around. Geonjung, with a slightly furrowed brow, inserted a straw into a drink and handed it to me. He didn’t bring it right up to my mouth, so I lowered my head to take a sip. The cool drink was refreshing.

Taking my lips off the straw, I looked forward, next to Geonjung. The kid sitting in the row in front of us, despite having a bandage on his arm, was fidgeting incessantly, distracting his mother. And in the front row, even further ahead, I could see Hyun’s back. Thanks to his height, his head stuck out above everyone else.

“But why is Hyun paying the hospital bill?”

“Because I think he’s the reason I dislocated my arm.”

“Did you fight?”

“No. He was drunk too.”

Hyun, who I thought was returning after paying, suddenly shoved his hand into his pants pocket and turned to answer a phone call. Hyun was also dressed casually, as if he’d left in a hurry. Looking at his loose t-shirt, knee-length pants, and bangs covering his forehead, he looked like his much younger self. I nervously shook my leg before stopping myself, realizing what I was doing. In the meantime, Geonjung finished his drink and asked,

“You two didn’t do anything, right?”

“Do what?”

At that moment, something flashed through my mind, something that could be considered “something,” but I feigned ignorance. I’d been carried here after hearing a few things but saying nothing, and now I was just sitting here like this. Geonjung, with his usual easygoing personality, seemed to have no clue what else to ask.

“Never mind.”

“Yeah.”

Normally, he would have pressed me to finish my sentence, but today, he quietly closed the conversation. At that moment, Hyun also hung up the phone and walked towards us. Hyun, standing before us, had a slightly annoyed expression. I wondered if it was because of the phone call, but then he looked down at my arm.

“What did they say?”

“It’s a sprain, so they said not to move it for a few days. But why are you glaring at me when I’m the one with the injured arm?”

“That’s why I told you not to go down there when I was drunk.”

Having said that, Hyun plopped down unceremoniously across from me and continued to glare. He leaned back against the chair and tilted his head slightly. It was a very self-assured posture.

“Let’s be clear. I didn’t get hurt going down there; I got hurt because you pulled me.”

“I pulled you because you kept trying to go somewhere. Were you trying to fall in again?”

“That was years ago. And you fell in too back then!”

“You pulled me, so we fell in together.”

“Did we? Anyway, yeah. Good for you that your alcohol tolerance has increased.”

“Yours must have gotten weaker.”

“Oh, whatever. Take responsibility. How am I supposed to wash my hair like this?”

Hyun seemed about to say something else but then pushed out his lower lip and sighed to himself. Before the fluttering of the bangs covering his forehead subsided, a fleeting emotion crossed his usually calm eyes. I couldn’t tell what it was. Then, with his usual slow movements, he stood up and gestured towards the exit. Such a self-centered bastard.

Geonjung cleaned up the chewed-up straw and the mess, and I tried to help with my good arm, but realized that taking care of myself was enough help. My shoulder, advised to remain still for a while, felt stiff with the awkwardly wrapped bandage digging into my armpit. Fortunately, nothing was torn or broken; it was just uncomfortable.

The hospital on a weekend morning was overflowing with all sorts of patients. As we finally exited the lobby, dodging incoming wheelchairs, the bright sunlight poured down, warming my body. I instinctively tried to stretch but winced from the pain in my arm, only twitching my lips and keeping both arms stiffly at my sides. Fortunately, Geonjung was looking elsewhere, but Hyun’s sharp eyes were fixed on me. His gaze, a mixture of exasperation and subtle amusement, followed my every move.

Hyun, since yesterday, has been completely unpredictable. Every moment, every expression and word is incomprehensible.

“I’m hungry. Let’s eat.”

“After I come back.”

“Come back from where?”

Hyun checked the time on his wristwatch. He’d been acting strangely busy since morning, but showed no sign of leaving.

“My studio apartment.”

“Why?”

“To get my things.”

I stopped dead in my tracks, bewildered, and Hyun, watching my shoulder, said in a calm voice,

“You said I should take responsibility.”

Anyone could tell that there was no trace of sympathy, apology, or any such emotion in his expression.

Hearing that, I stared blankly at him, then rolled my eyes towards Geonjung, who was standing next to me. The look meant something like, “Is he still drunk?” If so, our safety, having ridden in this guy’s car, was also a major concern.

Geonjung looked at me as if asking why I was looking at him, so I rolled my eyes back to Hyun and touched my right shoulder with my left hand. The implication being that taking responsibility for this shoulder naturally meant taking responsibility for the whole body.

His gaze, which had swept down my body from head to toe as if appraising me, returned.

“I was going to have you stay somewhere else for a while anyway, so this works out.”

“So, why?”

“Work.”

“Work?”

“What if he comes looking for you again?”

Blink, blink. I blinked and looked at Geonjung again. Geonjung, who looked like a bear, spoke even slower than one.

“Should I take off now?”

“Hey, what are you talking about?”

I sidled up to Geonjung and locked my left arm around his, saying resolutely,

“I need Geonjung here to feed me later.”

At my forceful clinging, Geonjung looked even worse than we did with our hangovers. Anyway, I held onto Geonjung tightly to prevent his escape, and we all went to my studio apartment.

There was no need to blow up the tiny apartment by all three of us cramming inside. Hyun went back out to answer another phone call, and only Geonjung and I went in to pack. We decided to just grab a few things instead of packing everything. Geonjung, perched on the bed and tossing things into a suitcase, finally asked,

“What are you two doing?”

“I don’t know.”

I really didn’t know. As I shrugged with an innocent expression, Geonjung glanced out the open door. He confirmed that no one was approaching, but his already gruff voice dropped even lower.

“You two aren’t… getting back together, are you?”

“No.”

“No, really?”

“Would I look this pathetic and have my arm twisted like this if I was trying to get back together with someone? Seriously, no.”

“Then why is he acting like this?”

That… I shared the flimsy hypothesis I’d been considering on the way here.

“He must feel really guilty. Don’t you think I’m pitiful?”

“Just hand me the books.”

I handed him as many books from the desk as I could grasp, stacking them neatly. While packing clothes and stacking more books, I glanced around the cramped studio apartment. It felt like the suffocating space wasn’t just nudging me to swallow my pride and accept his help; it was kicking me out. It would be too cramped to even use the tiny shower stall in this state. It was difficult to stay here in many ways. So, that must be it. Let’s just think of it that way, simply.

As I pulled out my suitcase, its wheels barely holding on after recent struggles, Geonjung took some of the weight and said,

“Yeah, you should rest your arm. Stay at Hyun’s place.”

“I will.”

That’s what I said, but honestly, I regretted agreeing to come back to the studio apartment to get my things. It was because Hyun’s face had become deeply expressionless the moment he saw the cramped room. I belatedly regretted revealing my vulnerable side like that.

It’s strange. Other people wouldn’t care whether I lived in a studio apartment or sat on the floor because there weren’t enough chairs, but when Hyun’s gaze landed on me, an unfamiliar sense of inferiority gnawed at me.

I went ahead of Geonjung, who was carrying my luggage, and descended the narrow stairs of the building. As we went down the dark staircase, the rectangular entrance grew larger, and I saw Hyun’s profile standing next to it with a cigarette in his mouth. Lost in thought, he stared across the street, seemingly unaware of our descent. I watched him inhale deeply, his cheeks hollowing, and then exhale the smoke between his fingers. Then, feeling a slight nudge from behind, I deliberately stomped down the stairs.

“My arm is about to fall off.”

Hearing my voice, a puzzled expression washed away from Hyun’s face as he glanced at us sideways. But I genuinely felt the same. This wasn’t something that warranted going all the way to Hyun’s house, was it? At that moment, Hyun pointed vaguely with his finger.

“Was it here?”

“What?”

“You said your company’s CEO came here.”

“Yeah.”

He exhaled, the smoke drifting in that direction.

“Don’t come here for a few days. Stay at my place.”

“Is that really necessary?”

“So he can’t come and harass you again.”

As I struggled to find a response, Geonjung, who had been following behind, came up beside me and asked,

“What’s going on?”

“That senior of his came looking for him here.”

“Bullshit.”

Geonjung, unusually, completed his sentence with just a curse. He looked back and forth between me and Hyun, then said,

“Then it’s better to avoid this place for a few days.”

“He won’t come again, will he?”

“Probably.”

No matter what I said after that, Hyun and Geonjung remained firm in their opinion. In the meantime, I subtly brought up the topic of hangover cure.

“I want cold noodles.”

“It’ll be a sight to see you slurping them up. Let’s go.”

The way he gestured with his eyes was strikingly similar to his twenty-year-old self, who spoke his mind freely.

It felt awkward to return to Hyun’s house alone with him, but I couldn’t exploit Geonjung’s precious weekend afternoon any longer. We dropped Geonjung off at the subway station, waved goodbye with my good hand, and ended up returning to Hyun’s place with just the two of us.

Leaning against the car window, I finally got a proper look at the building I’d been carried into yesterday. The rectangular structure, made of black and gray marble, stood beyond a fence, encompassing a balcony. I was slightly puzzled that it wasn’t a particularly tall building. Wouldn’t it be better to build higher?

As I retrieved my meager belongings from the back seat after we parked in the underground parking lot, Hyun snatched them from me and walked ahead.

“Give it here.”

Ignoring me, he swiped his resident card, which he’d tucked into his pocket, and strode into the building lobby. Was he showing off his long legs? Just keeping up with his pace was a struggle for me.

Looking at the elevator, I saw the top floor was the 8th. Hyun pressed the button for the 5th floor. The one good thing after entering his home was what he said after shoving my bag into a room.

“I have to go to the company, so rest up.”

I wondered if he was saying that so I could relax, but it seemed genuine. He went into a room, changed into black pants and a shirt, and came back out, which made it real. He even went back in and came out with a laptop tucked under his arm. I hadn’t even entered the room yet.

“You’re really going?”

“I have a presentation next week.”

He walked past me, then turned back and added,

“I’m not usually like this.”

“Yeah, okay.”

Unsure how to respond, I just nodded. Still, it felt awkward to just go into the room while the homeowner was leaving, so I hesitated, then asked something that came to mind.

“Do you really think Sungjae hyung will come again?”

“I think so.”

I kept asking because I didn’t think so, but Hyun answered curtly, dismissing my doubts. He dropped a shoe from the shoe rack with a thud, put it on, opened the door, and said,

“Just go back and forth between the company and here for a few days.”

“When did you say your presentation was?”

“Monday.”

With that, Hyun pulled out his phone again and left. Unable to see him off properly, I stood awkwardly for a moment before trudging into the room. If it was just Monday, wouldn’t it be better for me to just stay holed up in my studio apartment?

The room where my luggage was placed was the same one I’d found vaguely familiar and unfamiliar this morning. I plopped down on the bed and stared blankly at the setting sun streaming in through the half-open door. I was tired.

I thought it would be uncomfortable, but it wasn’t that bad. The house, empty of its owner, felt strangely cozy with no one to be mindful of. It was actually quite alright, except for the fact that I was stuck inside, pacing around in circles. I was just coming out from behind the kitchen when my phone rang. Bringing it to my ear, I heard Hyun immediately launch into what he had to say.

―I didn’t tell you because I was in a rush, but feel free to grab anything from the fridge to eat.

“Uh… what about you?”

―I’ll be home at dawn, so don’t wait up and just go to sleep.

As he said that, I thought I heard a voice calling him from the other end of the line. Then the call abruptly ended. He told me to help myself. I tentatively approached the intimidating center of the kitchen again. A massive chandelier, looking like hundreds of glass cups glued together, hung from the ceiling, casting a soft, fragmented light on the surface of the island table.

It felt too extravagant to eat at. After glaring at the silver sink and black countertop, which looked like they had never been touched by a single drop of water since their installation, I painstakingly typed out a message.

―I’ll just go out to eat. Where’s the key card?

Thinking of the restaurants I had glimpsed on the ground floor as I entered the building, I sent the message. He responded right away, although I could tell he was busy.

―Top drawer next to the projector. Still, try not to go out for a few days.

Now, where is that… I was about to start searching when I decided to give in. It seemed like he was busy, and I felt bad about insisting on going out. It’s just one night. Fine. I’ll just grab something here tonight. I opened the fridge and picked out one of the several neatly arranged ready-made meals. After a solitary meal at the impersonal dining table and a subsequent hunt for the recycling bins, which involved wandering around the kitchen for quite some time, the day drew to a close.

The spacious apartment was silent, the owner absent, and I kept wanting to burrow into the bed in the corner of the room. After somehow managing to wash up, I shuffled into the room and crawled onto the bed. That’s the last thing I remember from that day.

When I opened my eyes again the next day, the house was still empty. I went out to the spacious living room and cautiously sat on the pristine, expansive sofa. It was so large that I ended up lying down. I pressed the remote control on the side table, and the TV came on. The high-pitched tones typical of morning shows, so out of sync with the atmosphere of the house, tickled my ears. I clicked through a few channels before giving up.

Unable to stand my morning hunger any longer, I went to the kitchen and found subtle traces of someone having been there. Very subtle. The kind of traces that involved the kitchen trash can being empty. It was a little surprising that this was the only thing that had changed.

I went back to the living room and then glanced into the slightly open bedroom as I headed back towards the kitchen. I wondered if Hyun might be sleeping, but again, there was no sign of him. I stretched out on the sofa, but the sunlight tickling my forehead made me sit up again. As I walked barefoot towards the terrace, my phone vibrated incessantly. Thinking it might be a call, I pulled it out to see it was Seungyeop.

[Hey. I heard you’re at Hyun’s place.]

[Staying there?]

[I’m so jealous.]

[That place is insane.]

It was nice, but not entirely comfortable, so I scratched my forehead lightly and replied.

[I’m kind of stuck here.]

[Why.]

[The key card isn’t where he said it was.]

I’d checked the spot he mentioned earlier, and there was nothing there, not even a key card. The inside of the drawer, devoid of even a speck of dust, felt unnatural and impersonal.

[I want to be trapped too, desperately trapped…]

[I’d rather be there than in a newlywed’s house.]

[I’m telling Eunjeong.]

I responded to his playful complaints with a playful jab of my own. As I typed, I approached the railing. It was made of black steel where you’d rest your arms, but the lower part was light-colored glass. I wondered if it was shatterproof. With that thought, I leaned on it, one arm resting on the rail, and stretched my body further outwards. I could see the well-landscaped park within the apartment complex.

The trees, tall enough to meet my gaze, the artificial stream flowing beneath them, and the lawn stretching out beside it all looked peaceful. I watched a woman pushing a stroller in a long dress and then glanced around. There was a round table with two metal chairs. I sat in one of them and looked at my phone. Seungyeop had sent an unexpected reply.

[Eunjeong agrees. She said if you have the chance, go for that house.]

[Are you sure it’s not because you don’t like me?]

[Use your eyes and look at that house.]

Yeah, I’ve looked around plenty. Overall, the oppressively nice house had occasional touches of starkness or overly grand elements. I guess this is modern interior design.

I leaned my head against the terrace railing, basking in the sun shining down on me. Thanks to the soundproofing, which blocked out even the sound of cars, it felt like I was at a hotel. Yes, one of the reasons I felt even slightly less awkward staying here was precisely because it didn’t feel like a home.

My gaze naturally fell on the ashtray in the center of the table. It contained a single cigarette butt, extinguished halfway through. Did he smoke this last night after coming home? Judging by the undisturbed ash, it seemed likely.

“You were living well.”

Except for being incredibly busy with work. Of course, without that, a large part of you seems to disappear.

“But why did you suddenly want to see me again?”

A question I couldn’t ask Hyun because he was so busy, a question I hadn’t been able to voice, now escaped my lips as a murmur. I’m used to seeing his face now, but when I think back to our breakup, a part of me still aches. That spot, bruised from being hit, still feels tender. Of course, it’s been hit so often that it’s calloused and the pain is dulled, but it still resonates.

I still don’t understand you. What did you mean by what you said yesterday when you carried me? Why did you, who sat with a cold, indifferent expression at the gathering, arrive at that conclusion? What value did you find in me that made you think we could meet again? You were the one who pushed me away first. Do I really need to dissect your brain to understand?

A gentle breeze slipped through the gaps in the railing. The sensation tickling the bridge of my nose made me sneeze briefly, and I curled up.

You jerk. I really don’t understand you this time either.

˙✧˖🎥⋆˙

I woke up early, and the clock on my phone showed a time close to 6:00. It had been a rare, restful weekend, aside from the few tasks I’d handled on my laptop.

I got up, stretched my shoulders, and opened the door. I almost missed it, but a change in the frame directly in front of me caught my eye, etched as if in relief. I stopped in my tracks, momentarily abandoning my intention of going to the kitchen.

Hyun, in a suit that blended with the dim light, was sitting on the sofa with his head tilted back. My gaze traveled up his long neck and prominent Adam’s apple to his pale face, finally stopping at his closed eyelids, where I could see the intricate detail of his eyelashes.

Perhaps it was the bluish light of dawn, but his face looked even whiter. I took in the sight of his neatly placed feet and took another step closer when his head tilted towards me, making me flinch and stop. He blinked, and an expression flickered across his porcelain-like face as his lips moved.

“Daeun.”

“Yeah.”

“Come home quickly after work today.”

His voice, lower than usual, scraped against his morning vocal cords. I watched his Adam’s apple move and return to its place before finally responding.

“You look really tired.”

“It ends today.”

“What time does it end?”

“Inspection in the morning, then after lunch.”

“Okay.”

After some deliberation, I added a short phrase.

“Do well.”

“How should I do well?”

His half-opened eyes were now clear, as if that brief rest had fully awakened him. Amazing.

“Do well based on what you’ve seen and judged. You’ve worked hard, haven’t you?”

At my words, Hyun moistened his dry lips and looked at me for a long time. He stared, as if trying to engrave me in his memory, before turning his head slightly to look at the ceiling. Then, in a low voice, he slowly replied.

“Let’s do that.”

I watched his smooth, gleaming forehead and realized I had lingered there for an unnaturally long time. As if to announce my departure, I walked with deliberate steps towards the refrigerator. I cooled down my burning insides with cold water and noisily retreated to my room. Hyun was still lying on the sofa, his hair falling to the side, revealing his smooth forehead.

I wondered if your body still runs hot when you’re stressed. I vividly recalled the times when I’d place my comparatively cool hand on your forehead. Trying to forget that memory, I buried my face in the bed.

˙✧˖🎥⋆˙

This idea meeting was also a mess, but this time, my own head was a mess too, so I decided not to argue much. And I’m also not going to argue about the fact that my head is a mess.

How could I calmly discuss which ingredients have beneficial properties or what new crops are trending when the fate of my former company, the one that screwed me over, is about to be decided by my ex-boyfriend? If we have nothing better to do, we should just go out and film buckwheat instead of barley.

The problem was that the thought, which should have remained confined to my head, slipped out of my mouth. Choi PD, seemingly forgetting his own rejected, terrible idea from just a moment ago, glared at me irritably. At his look, the sub-writer sitting next to me grabbed my arm dramatically.

“Assistant Director, are you trying to get rained on again? Haha. Hahaha. How about carrots? Carrots.”

He quickly suggested a different crop, but Choi PD’s eyes, like a bird of prey targeting its food, were fixed on me. This is about a Level 1 warning.

“Didn’t our assistant director used to be the CEO of a company before coming here?”

“Yes, I was.”

I desperately wanted to deny it, but I couldn’t deny the truth. That’s the way it was. Choi PD plastered on an artificial smile and then tilted his head theatrically.

“A CEO is someone who presents a vision, aren’t they? Did you act like this there too?”

“I guess that’s how I ended up leaving the company.”

I have a habit of regretting things the moment I say them. I should have just apologized. I was just about to hang my head, noticing the sudden chill in the meeting room, when the main writer next to the PD unexpectedly diverted attention.

“Hey, why are you like this? The footage was good back then. I heard the assistant director practically rolled around on the ground while filming.”

At her words and gentle gesture, I instinctively nodded. She’s the main writer who always sides with the PD, what’s going on today?

“I heard a handsome guy picked you up that day, Assistant Director.”

“Yes.”

Is this why? I don’t think so. Choi PD, seemingly annoyed at missing a chance to criticize me, flipped through the proposal and didn’t say anything more. The meeting concluded with a fairly plausible topic amidst my silence.

As the people who had filled the meeting room left, I patted the sub-writer, who was lingering with me, on the back and said,

“Why did you stick up for me? You could have just let me get chewed out.”

“I usually would, but your face was so glum today.”

“Was it?”

I rubbed my face with my hand, and the sub-writer nodded firmly.

“Yes. If you’re still feeling tired later, come to my desk. I’ll share one of my red ginseng drinks with you.”

“Thanks, even if it’s just an offer.”

“It’s not just an offer, it’s a real one.”

“But it’s not that. It’s because of work.”

“Our work?”

“No, something else. The interview I was going to do with my friend.”

“Oh, right. Didn’t that go well?”

“The results come out today.”

“Fighting!”

Muttering along with her brief encouragement, I left the meeting room. What am I supposed to be fighting for? Do I want the company to do well, or do I want it to fail? It’s going to do well anyway, so what’s the point of thinking this way? I should be more positive.

If it’s already in the past and out of my hands, it’s better for it to be helpful to Hyun’s career. Let’s just think of it as a win-win.

A feeling of being detached from the outside world floated around me all day. The group chat was unusually quiet, and there were no calls coming into the office. I just sat hunched over at my corner desk, fiddling with my laptop, sinking into the quiet.

2:54 PM. The time when drowsiness and the desire to leave work run rampant. I was propped up on my arm, lost somewhere between light sleep and the never-ending paperwork. A message notification popped up loudly in the corner of my laptop screen. Not just once, but several times. I opened the chat window with Seungyeop.

[Hey.]

[Daeun.]

[Emergency.]

[Can you talk now?]

[Pick up even if you can’t.]

[This is really important.]

He’s always been dramatic, but he’s not the type to say such alarming things during work hours. He’s not going to ask me for help picking out something for his wedding again, is he?

Looking around cautiously, I grabbed my phone and got up from my seat. Everyone seemed to have a light day today, and there weren’t many people at their desks. Blending in with those who were leaving for a coffee break, I stepped out of the office. A few steps away, I called Seungyeop. He answered instantly, with an unusual urgency in his voice.

―Did you hear?

“Hear what?”

―Is he weak at home or something?

“What are you talking about?”

―Lee Hyun went nuts and blew up the deal during the final report presentation.

“Blew up what?”

―Haven’t you heard? He said they scaled up because the responses from the advisory panel interviews weren’t significant, and he completely tanked the deal.

“What does that even mean?”

―That bastard just torpedoed your former company’s link contract. He gathered the clients and totally trashed it, saying the valuation was poor and there was no vision.

“What?”

Unable to process what I’d just heard, I walked along the wall, searching for a quieter place. The surrounding sounds seemed to fade away as if muted. My racing thoughts came to a halt the moment I opened the emergency exit door, stepped onto the landing, and flung open the window to let in the cold air. Staring at the endless cityscape layered like a Tetris game, I forced out my voice. Even to my own ears, it sounded strained.

“So what happens? Because it’s… not good… they can’t sell it? They investigated and found it lacking, so they decided not to buy it. That kind of conclusion is possible, isn’t it?”

―Well, yeah. Damn, how do I explain this? Yes, theoretically, but this was a success fee-based deal. A two-month case like this would have netted 1 billion won if it had gone through, but he just blew it up by telling everyone it was crap and they shouldn’t buy it. It’s just gone.

“So, they won’t pay him?”

―The deal didn’t go through, so no pay. He’ll probably just get a measly base salary and that’s it. That’s why they usually don’t blow up deals. Frankly, the consulting side doesn’t care if the company is failing or not, as long as the private equity fund buys it and manages it themselves. So, they’re usually desperate to close the deal, unless it’s truly garbage. But that kind of garbage doesn’t usually make it this far.

“Oh… uh…”

―There are also a variety of other reasons why you shouldn’t blow up a deal, but anyway, do you know why he did that? Did he go crazy from lack of sleep? Did he decide to quit and live comfortably relying on his family’s connections?

“I don’t know. I barely saw him at his place. He probably just changed clothes and left.”

―What the hell? Did he seriously lose it from lack of sleep?

As I listened to Seungyeop’s bewildered muttering, my mind became increasingly tangled.

What? He said he’d do well.

After hearing the news, I couldn’t bring myself to ask him about the outcome. My phone remained unusually silent beside my laptop all day. There were no calls at all. Even Seongjae, who would have snatched a stranger’s phone to call me, hadn’t contacted me. Neither had Hyun. No one.

As I gathered my things at the end of the workday, one of the staff members I’d briefly chatted with during snack time, which I barely remember, asked me,

“Daeun, since your arm’s not good, do you want a ride even though it’s out of my way? I’m going in that direction today.”

“That’s a really kind offer, but I’m staying somewhere else right now.”

“Did you move already?”

“No, I’m at a friend’s place for a few days. The friend who did this to my arm offered to help me out.”

I’d moved in so abruptly that I hadn’t asked, but I had no idea what kind of help Hyun had offered. He’s too busy to even see right now. And even if he wasn’t busy anymore, what kind of help was he talking about? Is it because of Seongjae?

At first, I’d laughed it off, but now that I know the deal fell through, I feel uneasy. What if Seongjae comes after me? What if he really causes trouble? Turning away from the familiar route to my usual studio apartment, I got on the bus. This is really strange. He told me to stay comfortably, invited me over, and now I have a longer commute.

Before going home, I stopped at a snack bar and had a simple meal of kimbap and ramen. I swiped the key card and awkwardly opened the metal gate, revealing the well-maintained lawn and scattered lights. A man in a suit, walking along that path, stopped and bowed his head in greeting. I returned the greeting and quickened my pace. I still can’t get used to this.

I briefly got lost trying to find the entrance and had to circle around once before finally reaching the apartment. As I opened the door, a single shoe sat on the empty floor of the entrance hall. Did he come in? I tiptoed inside.

Still no sign of him in the living room. He must be sleeping. I grabbed my clothes and quietly closed the bathroom door behind me. I rotated my stiff shoulders and then soaked my entire body under the showerhead. With my arm being inconvenient, it was easier to wash everything at once than to wash each part separately.

I dried my damp hair with a hairdryer and changed into comfortable gray sweatpants. But they kept sticking to my wet skin, making the process feel like it took forever. I felt completely drained. Before leaving the bathroom, I looked around at the traces I’d left. I’d managed to rinse away the soap and such, but my body felt too heavy to wipe down the water droplets on the shower stall and mirror.

Giving up, I stepped out of the bathroom to find the living room unexpectedly bright. This was the first sign of life I’d felt since the first day I arrived. A tall figure was walking towards me, stretching his arms out like he was waking up. He had just woken up, judging by his messy hair and flushed face, still drowsy. He was dressed casually in a white t-shirt and loose-fitting clothes. As I stood there, flustered, he rubbed his eyes with the palms of his hands and asked in a sleepy voice,

“I told you to come home early.”

“How would I know if I was asleep?”

“True.”

He slowly walked past me to the refrigerator I was about to head towards. He filled a glass with ice and poured water into it. The clinking sound of the ice was followed by the sound of him gulping it down in one go. Then I heard the crunching sound of him chewing the ice. It sounded painfully cold, but he didn’t seem to mind.

He set the glass down on the table and turned around, his eyes now clear, as if the sleepiness had finally worn off. He stared at me in my just-out-of-the-shower state and suddenly said,

“Want to have a company dinner?”

Without waiting for my answer, he was already walking past the kitchen. As he disappeared down the hallway, his figure casting a long shadow on the wall, I instinctively nodded. Hyun, who had walked ahead, tilted his head.

“Let’s go.”

“Like this?”

“Yeah. There’s a good place here.”

The restaurant was located in one of the commercial buildings within the apartment complex. I had only glanced at it once before; it had black, translucent glass windows that showcased the interior like a display window. I never imagined I’d enter a place like this dressed like this.

Hesitantly, I followed Hyun as he pushed open the door and went inside. Seeing him dressed so casually and leading the way, I assumed we were going to a casual pub or something for this “company dinner.” I never imagined it would be a place like this. Inside, I noticed the distinct change in scent and the soft, low tones of jazz filling the space. The interior, which I’d only seen in silhouette from outside, was more crowded than I’d expected. Most of the patrons were dressed up and seemed to have come from further afield.

Hyun walked confidently through the crowd. I, looking every bit the local in my comfortable t-shirt and slippers, glanced at my reflection in the mirror by the entrance. I smoothed down my messy hair before entering. The staff member behind the bar, who seemed to already know Hyun, greeted us.

“It’s been a while.”

“Work finished today.”

“Take it easy.”

“Is there a table inside?”